"You're not my friend!"

Discussion in 'Preschool' started by prettyg, May 14, 2008.

  1. prettyg

    prettyg Rookie

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    May 14, 2008

    The children take it so personal when their friend tells them "You're not my friend." What's you take on this?
     
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  3. forkids

    forkids Cohort

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    May 14, 2008

    This is very typical for this age group - I hear it all the time: "you can't come to my birthday party", "I won't be your friend", etc.
    EVERYTHING is very personal for 4-5 year-olds(they're still pretty self-centered at this developmental level - just learning to be able to see things from another's point of view) and they are using things that are important to them: friends, birthdays, etc.

    Depending on the kids involved, I usually handle it by having them talk it over or by saying, "so-and-so is upset/feeling grouchy/etc. right now. They will be your friend when they are feeling better. Right now you can play with one of your other friends - we are all friends in Pre-K.

    These are good learning experiences for them - they begin to learn that others have feelings too, they can't always have everything their way, and to work out problems in constructive, acceptable ways. It can sometimes get old hearing it though, I know.
     
  4. Lives4Math

    Lives4Math Comrade

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    May 14, 2008

    I tell my 5/6 year olds "that's ok, if they don't want to be your friend, then you don't want to be their friend either" and usually within 5 minutes they're playing together again.
     
  5. Mrs.Sheila

    Mrs.Sheila Cohort

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    May 16, 2008

    UGH! If I hear that sentence one more time in the last four days we have until summer...... I will litterally cry! :) Most years it isn't so bad, but with this group we have , oh my!

    I think the next time I hear it... I am going to look at my co teacher and say "Ms Dorla ... YOUR NOT MY FRIEND" so they can see how silly it looks.
     
  6. EDUK8_ME

    EDUK8_ME Cohort

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    May 16, 2008

    I have three more days left with my little "darlings". I hear this constantly from one of my afternoon students. She has one friend and if that friend plays with someone else, she cries. We have tried to get her to expand her friendships and finally, she is willing to play with others.
     
  7. Turtle321

    Turtle321 Companion

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    May 16, 2008

    My co-teacher and I did this once. The looks on the kiddo's faces was priceless! And we had a good vent, to boot. :lol:
     
  8. gpsysngbrd

    gpsysngbrd Companion

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    Jul 18, 2008

    Ah one of my "favorites"

    Lately I have two things Ive been telling my kids

    1) If you keep saying that, one day theyre really not going to be your friend

    2) In 6 weeks most of you will be going to Kindergarten in different schools and you wont get to see eachother everyday. Enjoy the time you have!
     
  9. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Jul 18, 2008

    I remind the student that said it that it is NOT permitted in my class. Then I talk about what brought it on and we try to work it through.
     
  10. SwOcean Gal

    SwOcean Gal Devotee

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    Jul 19, 2008

    Oh boy that happens a lot during the end of the school year and we also remind the students pretty soon you will all be in different schools and wont be able to see each other everyday any more. We try to emphasize everyone is a friend in preschool, but sometimes we need some space too.
     

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