Your Significant Other...

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by SCTeachInTX, Oct 10, 2011.

  1. SCTeachInTX

    SCTeachInTX Fanatic

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    Oct 10, 2011

    There are people in our lives that help us, cheer us on, stand beside us, and help when things are not going well.... Sometimes this person is a friend, a husband, a parent...

    For some of us we are lucky to be in a committed relationship, possibly married, and that person is the person that we look to for the above mentioned times in our lives when we need our own personal cheerleading squad.

    My husband is a wonderful person. We have been married for 20+ years and he still makes me laugh everyday. We rarely have disagreements and when we do it is normally over something trivial which we both recognize. I am sure there are things that I do that drive him nuts, but he never complains. He usually helps me to see when I am in the wrong and has helped me to be a better person throughout our time together. I tend to be a little strong willed and my expectations of others is sometimes not realistic and he helps to balance me. He is genuinely happy when I excel and he is upset when I get upset. He is a wonderful support and a true friend. I feel closer to him than any other person. I am blessed to have many close friends, but he is my best friend.:)

    Tell us about your relationship. What makes it work?
     
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  3. Unbeknownst

    Unbeknownst Cohort

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    Oct 10, 2011

    Well, my wife is a pretty special person.

    We've been married 3 years now, and we've already experienced the "bottom" and now going into a "high."

    She hasn't changed who she is the entire time. We've both (her especially) have taken the "for better or worse" vows seriously and are living them every day.

    One of the BIGGEST things we've learned recently is the completely different pyschology a male and a female brings to the table. (Talking in generalities here).

    We're both actively trying to serve one another in the way that works for that person, and I'm seeing a completely transformation (much like the first year of marriage) in our relationship.

    It's been a good ride.
     
  4. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Oct 10, 2011

    My husband and I have been together for over ten years. He's my best friend. He makes me laugh all the time, he's super smart, and he always strives to take care of me and our family. He's a genuinely good person with a caring and generous spirit.
     
  5. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Oct 10, 2011

    My hubs and I have been together for 12 years, married for 9 years. It has been an amazing ride! He really is my best friend. He's been there through the very highs and the very lows and has not complained at all. He makes sacrifices for us all the time so that we don't have to worry about anything.
     
  6. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Oct 10, 2011

    What makes our relationship work?

    We are opposite in many ways that can annoy both of us - he makes lists and works through them daily, I am more hit-and-miss, focusing on the moment and what needs to be done; I mullti-task, he does one thing thoroughly. He never lets the car get to empty, I coast on fumes once a month! What makes it work is that we share the same core values in the big things - faith, child rearing, respect, life goals.

    We are very close and consider each other as best friend. I know that no matter what, he is there for me, and I for him.

    We recently went through a huge crisis, and have come out closer than ever, after 25+ years of marriage.

    Unbeknownst, you have pin pointed an important truth about marriage: our "highs" wax and wane. If we can hold on through the low points, there usually follows a high. Each recovery from a low puts us stronger than before, and over time builds a very strong relationship! Lots of people freak out during a low and quit. If we hang in there, the marriage is better than ever. Yeah! :D
     
  7. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Oct 10, 2011

    My SO & I definitely love & respect each other. We agree on a lot of major issues, which is important. I consider him one of my best friends. My mother is the other one. We'v never stayed mad at each other, not even for a whole day.
     
  8. AZMrs.S

    AZMrs.S Cohort

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    Oct 10, 2011

    We've been together for just over 5 years (married for 1.5). He never continues to amaze me. Just when I think it can get better, it does :) He is my rock and he always supports me. I can tell him anything and he truly is my best friend. I am so lucky to have him! While we have issues that come up, we always strive to work through them and we don't dwell on them. We have a rule that we don't go to bed upset, and that has been huge! It allows us to have time to be upset, but we always work it out before going to bed :)
     
  9. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Oct 10, 2011

    He's very intelligent, completely honest, sensitive to my needs, and supportive without simply letting me be right all the time. He's skilled and talented, such a good son to his father, and the best dad to our dog (which means the world to me). On the flipside, he can be terribly impatient...that's his biggest weakness, just due to how negatively he can respond to situations.

    We've been together over ten years and have been through a lot together. I don't know exactly what keeps our relationship strong, but I guess it boils down to being friends.

    We have both changed, which I think is natural considering we were young when we became a couple. I was eighteen...I am just not the person I was then. Some of the changes I have undergone, though, have been major...my view on religion, for example. He has changed as well, but I just try to roll with those changes. Not so much a change, but he hasn't been to my mother's in nearly two years (and she's just a few miles away). I sometimes start to get frustrated, but then I realize I truly can see the situation from his perspective and I understand. So I decided that while it would be nice to visit as a family, it's just not necessary. For others, it would be...but it's something I can work with.

    There is this saying: I love you because we hate the same things. I actually think that is huge in our relationship. :p
     
  10. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Oct 10, 2011

    We are halfway through our 16th year. We definitely have waxes and wanes and we have changed through the years but the things I love most about him have always remained constant. I know he has my back. If that car breaks down, I can't pick up the kids, or there is any kind of emergency little or big, he is there to help me through it. If he has to abandon work, wake up in the middle of he night (when he is deployed in another time zone) or whatever, he will do it. That doesn't mean I'm helpless by any means, but I definitely can depend on him. His best skill, however, is his thoughtful actions. I know he is always thinking about us. It is in the little things, though he is known for grand gestures too. It can be a fresh towel that is laid out in the bathroom for me before he goes to bed, a drawn bath if he's up at the same time as me, a stop at the store because he happened to notice that my soda supply was low, a quick run to the gas station because my tank is low, a bag of chocolate just because I like them or a million other little details. Even after 16 years, I can see him doing these things daily. This extends to out entire household. When I say my husband takes care of us, I know the assumption is based on providing the dough and he does that as well but I am really talking about the little actions he does everyday to make our lives smoother and just to say I Love You.
     
  11. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    Oct 10, 2011

    My husband and I crack each other up several times a day. We are always laughing together.

    We are a really good match for each other.

    We have not had an ounce of drama in our relationship since we met.
     
  12. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    Oct 10, 2011

    I'm not sure what makes our relationship work.

    We're opposites in most everything. For years we joked that the only things we have in common are that we are married and live in the same house. We disagree on television, movies, education, work ethic, money management, food, music, religion, politics, family relationships, entertainment, shopping, relationships with friends . . . yeah, pretty much everything. I'm laid back and super practical. I have to have a plan for everything. DH is high-strung and impulsive. He doesn't think past the moment. Oh, we do have a third thing in common. We both drive Fords, but that's just been recent. I got mine in 2009. He got his in July.

    We've been through a lot together. I was sick for the first year and a half we were married . . . seriously sick, and the treatments caused issues that still cause me issues. Both of our dads were diagnosed with terminal cancers the same week. They died within 5 months of each other. We're both only children, and our mothers were also dealing with health issues. DH's job of 10 years fell apart, and he hasn't found anything else he likes as well. He has OCD and Aspergers, which is a challenge in itself.

    We met in April of 1999. Our 11th anniversary is this Friday.

    It just works.
     
  13. Maryhf

    Maryhf Connoisseur

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    Oct 10, 2011

    My DH and I started dating when we were 14 and married at 24. We celebrated our 25th anniversary this summer. He's intelligent and funny and supportive and respectful. We've raised (mostly at least - they're 18 & 20) 2 terrific boys. His best moments were when I was trying to get back into education after being a SAHM. He was so supportive that he took off work when the boys needed something, went to work late so he could drop them off at school, left work when they were sick at school and needed a pick up and just really gave me the time to dedicate to my career. I had put my career aside for the kids and he was able to solidify his career to the point that he had that kind of flexibility. We are a great team.
     
  14. agdamity

    agdamity Fanatic

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    Oct 10, 2011

    My husband and I have been together 10 years, married for 6. He is, without a doubt, the best thing that has ever happened to me. We balance each other out--he brings makes me more spontaneous, and I make him more structured. We like to try new things together. He pays attention to the little things that can make your day. He remembers to say thank you for mundane tasks ("Thanks for taking the trash out," etc.--not that I need thanks for it, but it is nice to hear).
     
  15. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Oct 10, 2011

    Dh is awesome....really one of the 'good guys'.... He's personable, even tempered, funny. He's smart, a great dad...romantic husband. He'd do anything or me and our kids. He works hard, loves deeply. He let's me be me. We respect each other.
     
  16. linswin23

    linswin23 Cohort

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    My boyfriend and I are going to be together forever. We are practically married. We are so compatible, I love it and I think what really makes us work is the fact that we can be our complete selves around each other. We've had relationships in the past where we have not been our true selves and are so glad to finally be with a person who loves us for who we are. He's seen my absolute best and my absolute worst and vice versa.
     
  17. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Oct 10, 2011

    DH and I have a wonderful marriage of 10 years, and things have never been better. We have great communication, and rarely argue (although, as all couples, we do have disagreements from time to time). In the beginning of our marriage we were so young, and really were not good at resolving our conflicts, and I see now how stubborn I used to be, really I would never budge. Both he and I are older and more mature and talk about things as a means of resolving our conflicts.

    He also is a perfect gentleman, and really so sweet. I would be lost without him.
     
  18. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Oct 11, 2011

    With me well I have been married 3 times I still don't know What makes it work BUT I know what doesn't work!
    So I just try not to do the things that don't work
    Terri and I have been together for 6 years
     
  19. GAteacher87

    GAteacher87 Companion

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    Oct 11, 2011

    Reading these stories is very heartwarming for someone who just ended a relationship and wants to feel hopeful that there's a cool dude out there (maybe even a cool teacher dude) who complements me well. I'm very happy that you all who have posted have found such joy and comfort in your relationships with your significant others!
     
  20. SCTeachInTX

    SCTeachInTX Fanatic

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    Oct 11, 2011

    WOW. 3X Irish Dave and you still believe in marriage? That is AWESOME! My Sis in Law is right up there with you. She has been married 3X with 4 children. But she is still waiting for her Knight in Shining Armor. I hope she finds him one day. She is a good person. But she was a little misguided as a child when her parents made her feel like everything in life had to be handed to you. There is just not a good work ethic involved and she keeps looking on the man in her life to rescue her. Unfortunately if there is a deadbeat within 100 miles, she is like a magnet for them.:eek:
     
  21. SCTeachInTX

    SCTeachInTX Fanatic

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    Thanks GA Teacher. It does make you realize how lucky you are. Of course there HAVE been hard times and times of grief, but the thing is sticking together is SO MUCH harder than splitting up at times. And if you can weather the really bad storms, then you have something extra special in the end. We love each other more today than when we first got married. And doesn't that make sense? Does my heart still do a flip flop when I see him? No, but I do feel lost when he is away and have trouble sleeping if he is not in our bed because of travel. So... that speaks volumes about love and commitment in a different way.

    Having said that, some people are far better off apart than they are together. My sis in law (above) is one such story about that...
     
  22. knitter63

    knitter63 Groupie

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    My husband is absolutely my best friend. In Feb. 2012, we will be married for 25 years. I love him more today than I ever have. He makes me laugh, knows my moods, supports me in all I do, and is a wonderful father. (that was very important to me) We have our fights, but can never really stay mad at each other. We always say that the one thing that helped our marriage work is that we spent the first 4 years of it overseas-away from family. We only had each other-in a foreign country-and we had to work through our troubles and problems. My husband may not be the most romantic, but he is so thoughtful to me:some days I will come home expecting to do all the breakfast dishes, and he already did them before he left for work, or he will text me at my lunch hour with "hey beautiful"-and it is almost always on a day when the day is going badly! We share the same interests, and when we don't, we respect that difference and encourage each other to pursue our dreams! It is funny, because often he will say something that I was just thinking, or vice versa. Through our hard times and grief, never once did either one of us think to give up. My favorite place in the world is in his arms, in one of his fabulous hugs.
     
  23. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    Oct 11, 2011

    He just...knows me. Our history is intertwined. We just know what needs to be done. We know when we need a sit down, talk about issues session, we finish each other's sentences, I can look at him and know what he's thinking.

    It's hard to explain. He really does complete me.
     
  24. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Oct 11, 2011

    Knitter, you mentioned that the beginning of your relationship was in another country away from friends and family and that it brought you two closer together. The first couple of years of our relationship was also during a very difficult time as his mother passed on due to cancer. Horrible as it was, it no doubt strengthened our relationship. There is something to be said for fighting through things together.
     
  25. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    We've lived 13 out of 16 years away from family. We've also moved a lot. It does make us rely on each other and stand on our own two feet. I wouldn't have it any other way. Just don't tell my kids that because I want my grandbabies (don't have any yet) to be in easy driving distance at least.

    I absolutely love that my husband is an involved father. He has changed as many diapers and gone to most school meetings, etc.
     
  26. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Oct 11, 2011

    My DH and I have been married 39 years. It seems to get better the longer we are together. As for fighting--why bother? He helps me so much with everything including housework. He is going out of town for 2 weeks, and I tell him he can't leave as I don't have anyone else to take out the garbage.

    The best years for us have been the last few, with kids gone, settled into their own lives, and not calling us to ask what brand of toothpaste to buy. The empty nest have given us time for each other, and to do things together.

    We are opposites. I am impulsive, and he makes a list and spends the day taking care of the details. But, we agree on the important things, and that is what keeps us together.
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2011
  27. Bella2010

    Bella2010 Habitué

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    Oct 11, 2011

    DH and I have been together for 11 years, married for 10. We have a little boy who is going on 16 months, yeah we got started on the kid thing a little late in life, lol. He's a great dad and helps me out whenever he can - except during hunting season. :rolleyes: He's always been there for me and his easy going attitude evens out my neuroticism. He listens to me gripe and has supported every decision I have made. He puts up with a lot from me - I have serious anxiety and a touch of OCD. He's a cop, and after dealing with all the crap he puts up with daily, he always has time to support, encourage, and reassure me. This makes me realize how much I appreciate him and don't tell him that often enough. :blush:

    Beth
     
  28. knitter63

    knitter63 Groupie

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    You are absolutely right. i remember during a particularly difficult time in our marriage, we had a huge fight. I took off with my son to his parents' house with my son, and talked to them a while. My DH showed up and his parents suggested we go talk somewhere. We did- we went to the local beach and talked. I remember my DH saying "do you want a divorce?" and I laughed and cried at the same time. I told him that I couldn't live without him, that we work through everything! Our marriage started getting better from there. My in-laws knew that we needed to be alone!
     
  29. MissFroggy

    MissFroggy Aficionado

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    Oct 15, 2011

    Hearing your stories warms my heart and saddens me. I have been with my SO for nearly 2 years and I am not sure it is going to last.

    My SO is pessimistic and I am optimistic. My optimism has kept me going since there have been a lot of health issues on her end. I am waiting for some results of some recent medical tests because I hope that answers some questions.

    I know I am not as happy as I could be. But trying times are always that way. So my question is then, will we be happier later, and is it worth it?

    The good things are that she is insanely funny and clever, super smart and we have common interests. But things just aren't that fun when you're doing things with someone sick and cranky. Day in and out.

    I wonder at times if I am falling out of love because things just feel hard and it's difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel but then I see her smile and it cones back to me. She makes me laugh or gives me a hug and it feels worth it again. Perhaps these are the lows, and the highs will be just as good.

    We have s lot of good things going for us.

    One last thing I appreciate about our relationship
     
  30. MissFroggy

    MissFroggy Aficionado

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    Oct 15, 2011

    On my phone I can't scroll. The last good thing about us is I am truly myself, good and bad, and don't keep any part of myself hidden. I am not afraid to tell it like it is or whatever. That hasn't been the case in the past relationships I have had. It feels good to be loved no matter what.

    I just want the "hard times" to end.
     
  31. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Oct 15, 2011

    Miss, I am sorry you find yourself in this situation. I hope that her health concerns are not serious and that you two can get through it together and come out of this period stronger and with a greater appreciation for the "everyday" good times. :)
     

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