I was reading on "Teacher Time Out" about kids with mohawks and it got me thinking about the boys that I have had in my preschool class with a pierced ear. In 16 years I have had two and it kind of bugs me that a parent would have a 4 year-old's ear pierced. Just wondering what you all think?
Hmmm...why does it bother you that they're boys? Earrings are traditionally feminine in Western culture, but that's a wall that's been pretty well broken down and you don't seem to object to adult males piercing their ears. Similarly, that you brought up young boys suggests it's not young girls you're concerned about. I've seen even infant and toddler girls with pierced ears. What about it actually bugs you? What image do you have of parents who do this? Of course, I should probably hold my tongue: my youngest is three and a half and he could be demanding earrings in six months, and I'd end up having to face this myself. Luckily, DW doesn't wear earrings often.
Interesting thread. It does not bother me if boys or girls have pierced ears. I also dislike pink for girls and blue for boys, but that's another story. However, I do worry when any child wears hoop-type earrings instead of studs. I have seen numerous nasty injuries (inclduing one of my own) caused when someone or something accidentally pulled on a hoop.
I guess I object to any child getting piercings that were not their choice. I just can not imagine a young boy saying, "Hey mom, let's go get my ear pierced".
Hmm. I've never had this happen, so I'm not sure how I would feel. I can't really see any boys around here doing that (um, for better or worse, the whole right ear/left ear thing is still pretty prevalent). Personally, with my own daughters, our rule is when they can take care of them on their own, they can pierce. Dd1 got hers in first grade, because she didn't want them before that. Dd2 will have to wait until at least kindergarten. I know if I ever had a son, my dh would NEVER allow piercings.
I can totally imagine a 4-yr old boy asking for his ears to be pierced. They have minds of their own. I had my ears pierced when I was 4 yrs old. I begged my mom for them & I was so persistent she decided it was okay if it was what I really wanted.
I had a non-verbal 3 yr old student with cerebral palsy start up with an earring in one year. He had it when he was two. Being in with the public school system, earring for boys are not allowed. Mom was mad. Oh well, gotta follow the rules.
I have had many girls with pierced ears, never allow hoops. I haven't had a boy, but I could totally see them asking and badgering just like a girl. Same rule, no hoops, no skulls. I have tons of boys with finger/toe polish. Holes grow closed and no one will be able to tell if they decide against it later.
Boys with earrings don't bother me, but the fact is that a large segment of our Western society still thinks it is inappropriate. I'm not sure a young kid is emotionally prepared to stand up to harsh comments, etc. about having pierced ears. My 19 yr old son has pierced ears that are stretched to 1". I really dislike this - I think it is self-mutilation and it's just gross. Even still, it irritates me when people make crappy comments about his ears. He is a good kid and they don't know him at all. He has had to put up with the judgment of ignorant people, but it is his choice as an adult.
I was quite serious when I said my three and a half year old could be asking for them in six months; I recently had a post titled, "Transvestite Son". Do you actually know if it was the child's choice in your case? And, ummm. . . so I take it you object to circumcision?
yep, that was a hard choice. And i even have a hard time listening to "boy hair and girl hair" in relation to who can have long hair and who can't. just grates on me. YOu can't make everyone happy, people could not like your clothes either. you can't keep all the bad comments away. my boy dances (hip hop) but dances. he just blows off the comments. he knows "they are just jelly-ious".
I was totally distracted by my 1st graders teacher's tongue piercing!! I don't find them particularly attractive, but it kept my attention on her mouth, not necessarily what she was saying as some of her articulation was not correct. As for children, I think we have to look at our own gender biases and culture but not to communicate them to the children whether there is approval or disapproval.
I would like my daughters to make the choice for themselves, and they are just becoming old enough to do that (7). For me, it's a personal choice and even though they wanted earrings at 4 or 5, they now are debating whether to put a permanent hole in their ears.
Wow... Public school, no earrings for boys? Are girls allowed to have earrings? I'd think there would be an issue with allowing for one, not the other-ESPECIALLY in public school.
I don't have a problem with boys with earrings or long hair. I also don't have a problem with girls who have very short haircuts that are more traditional to boys. I'm ok with a boy wearing some pink, and girls wearing traditional boy colors. But, I think parents can take it too far. We recently had a boy that had very long, curly hair. He looked like a girl. He said several times that he didn't like his hair long. But the boy's mother wanted his hair to be long, so he wasn't allowed to have any input. I think the parents of the child put them in a difficult situation when other people can't tell, by looking at the child, if they are a boy or a girl. I've had quite a few boys who you couldn't tell they were boys by looking at them because they had long hair. I also had a girl who would wear boy's underwear to school. I thought that was too much to send a girl to school wearing boy's underwear. I'm sure most of you wouldn't send your son to school wearing girl's underwear.
Not that it is my first choice, but I have had boys underwear come to preschool on girls. It was due to the lack of the specific character on the girls underwear. i believe it was spider man. That I was ok with, they had a reason, she could explain it and the underwear was underneath anyway. In that case it was totally her resoning. She wanted her character on her big girl pants and they didn't sell them. She viewed it as a flaw of the store, not her.
Yeah, that. I got my ears pierced when I was 4 (I'm female). I rode to the salon with my dad on his Harley. My dad got his ears pierced first.
And i have had many parents use the "store was all out of blue pull ups all they had were these pink ones" for the boys that really liked the nap pull up. we don't allow the pull ups except for nap, and the parents were thinking that the pix on the front was helping the child like the pull up. worked. didn't mind. Again, I didn't purchase them, and they were under.
EXCELLENT, my dancing boy would appreciate that story. By the way, he has a full circle of girls watching him at every wedding reception. He is 9 and he totally knows that they like him. He also knows he doesn't "like them that way" but he thinks it is cool all he has to do is dance. That is how he invented "jelly-ious". this all started when he was a 4 year old dancer, and then he thought they liked jelly.
If my (theoretical) son wanted a piercing at an older age (like 5th grade or older), I wouldn't mind completely. I am not a huge fan of it (I joke that it makes them look like pirates), but... goodness, it's pretty minor. There are many worse things in the world to worry about, seriously. I have 1-3 boys with piercings every year in fourth grade. Having a 4-year old boy get a piercing, though, is not exactly the greatest idea. The large piercings are horrid, though. When I meet someone with those piercings, that's all I stare it when I talk to them. Pertaining to hair, I really don't like long hair on boys. Or- I can say it looks better on some boys than others. If I was the mother of the boy with the long, curly hair and he wanted a haircut, I'd be all for it. On the other hand- if he wanted to grow out his hair a little, I wouldn't stop him, either, though I would encourage a haircut after a while. It's all a matter of opinion, I guess, and not all parents think it's a big deal.
I will tell you that my grandparents on my dad's side got my ears pierced when i was six months old. My parents left them in and there was never an issue, so while it my not be something I choose for my own children, I would respect the parents rights to parent that child the way they choose.
I don't think twice about boys with piercings. I have a 4-year-old son. I would not pierce his ear(s). I don't even really want him to ever get an piercings, but that will be his choice when he is older. The haircutting issue is hard! He had the most beautiful, awesome, unique hair when he was smaller. I really don't know how I could have brought myself to cut it. He solved my problem by cutting it himself when he was 3. It's quite a balance. We need to respect young children and their feelings about their own selves, yet, as adults, we also need to guide them, impart our values as their parents, etc.
Very wise!! :clap: I really have never understood why people think they get to voice an opinion about the choices parents make about whether or not to: breastfeed or bottle feed, circumcize, cut hair, pierce ears...EEK. As long as children are happy, healthy, safe and loved- I'm good with that.
