you might be an educator

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by mrachelle87, May 15, 2008.

  1. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    May 15, 2008

    Jeff Foxworthy on Educators

    You might be an educator if you believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.

    You might be an educator if you want to slap the next person who says, "It must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off".

    You might be an educator if you can tell it's a full moon or if it is going to rain, snow, hail....anything!!! without ever looking outside.

    You might be an educator if you believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on a report card.

    You might be an educator if when out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.

    You might be an educator if you have no social life between August and June.

    You might be an educator if you think people should have a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

    You might be an educator if you wonder how some parents MANAGED to reproduce.

    You might be an educator if you laugh when people refer to the staff room as the "lounge."

    You might be an educator if you encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling and are willing to donate the boxes should they decide to move out of the district.

    You might be an educator if you think caffeine should be available in IV form.

    You might be an educator if you can't imagine how the ACLU could think that covering your students' chairs with Velcro and then requiring uniforms made out of corresponding Velcro could ever be misunderstood by the public.

    You might be an educator if meeting a child's parent instantly answers this question, "Why is this kid like this?"

    You might be an educator if you would choose a mammogram over a parent conference.
    :lol:
     
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  3. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    May 22, 2008

    You might be an educator if you just found a new title in the Ms. Bindergarten Gets Ready for Kindergarten, (Slate and Wolfe)series...and you picked it up, read it..to see what happens next!

    I found, Ms. Bindergarten Says Goodbye to Kindergarten.

    and I cried at the end! :(



    You might be an educator if you watch The Nanny every week.

    And, you sit back and analyze the situation before she does.

    And what is worse...you start writing IEPs for those kids and ISFP (individual service family plans) for those parents!!! :woot:
     
  4. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    May 23, 2008

    That's great, mrachelle! I think Jeff Foxworthy is too funny!
     
  5. Mable

    Mable Enthusiast

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    May 26, 2008

    I love the Supernanny reference! I do it too!

    You might be an educator if you have to use food stamps after paying your bills.
     
  6. corps2005

    corps2005 Cohort

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    May 26, 2008

    ROFL, I hope this isn't hijacking, but everytime I watch Supernanny I always think to myself, "I could do such a better job," or "Why didn't I think of that show?" or "Hah, we use those in the classroom!"
     
  7. Teaching Grace

    Teaching Grace Connoisseur

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    You might be an educator if you save EVERYTHING in the hopes that you can use it in your classroom! (I have about 20 formula cans sitting in a stack in my dining room!!)
     
  8. Pisces_Fish

    Pisces_Fish Fanatic

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    May 26, 2008

    My principal typed up a Jeff Foxworthy quote and taped it to the Xerox machine. I think it went something like, "You might be an educator if you get a cheap thrill just thinking about the laminating machine."
     
  9. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    May 27, 2008

    You guys still have those??? We have LINK card now...automatically stored debit card. and if I don't get a job soon, I may have to apply! :rolleyes:
     
  10. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    do they pay her, or does she pay the families! what is worse...Supernanny or Wifeswap?!

    we can all do a better job! We are part time psychologists/social workers!
     
  11. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    OMG...you must be out of work to see the craziness you have gone through. I have 3 copies of everything! I have books for preschool thru 5th. I just want a U-haul truck to take it all! I really hope to find another job in a Head Start classroom that has everything! I want my closet to look like a closet again, and not a storeroom!
     
  12. Turtle321

    Turtle321 Companion

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    :lol: Me too!!! :lol:
     
  13. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

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    Thanks for that! I showed it to another sub and she made copies for all the teachers at the school I sub at most (where I met her) anyway they loved it!
     
  14. runsw/scissors

    runsw/scissors Phenom

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    You might be an educator if you can tell it's a full moon or if it is going to rain, snow, hail....anything!!! without ever looking outside.

    You might be an educator if you have no social life between August and June.

    You might be an educator if you can't imagine how the ACLU could think that covering your students' chairs with Velcro and then requiring uniforms made out of corresponding Velcro could ever be misunderstood by the public.

    These describe me exactly! I have heard the last one stated slightly differently in the past "...how the ACLU could think that duct taping a child into his seat (or was it duct taping a child's mouth shut)..." Too funny! Thanks for the laugh.
     
  15. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    you may be an educator if you are throughly disgusted when you see little kids running two blocks ahead of their parents...

    and you wonder who came up with that cute little kiddie-leash
     
  16. iteachm123

    iteachm123 Comrade

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    May 29, 2008

    You might be an educator if you hyperventilate with excitement when you walk down the school supply aisle at Walmart.

    You might be an educator if you walk around with chalk dust across your butt!
     
  17. Turtle321

    Turtle321 Companion

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    :rofl: :toofunny: :rofl:
     
  18. runsw/scissors

    runsw/scissors Phenom

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    There are still people using chalk? I was sure the whole country had been upgraded when we finally got white boards.
     
  19. iteachm123

    iteachm123 Comrade

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    My school uses white boards but I remember so many teachers, including myself, that walked around with "butt dust". I never knew whether to keep quiet or to say something so they would know it's there. AWKWARD! lol
     
  20. allyd

    allyd Rookie

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    You might be a teacher if you get upset that your husband threw away the toilet paper roll when it was empty! :)
    (Or the coffee can, baby food jar, meat tray, etc.)
     
  21. runsw/scissors

    runsw/scissors Phenom

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    Poor guys! We give them a hard time for not doing this, and then, when they do, we get up set!
     
  22. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    you might be an educator if you just got totally into the National Spelling Bee tonight!

    sigh... I need a life!
     
  23. mandagap06

    mandagap06 Devotee

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    May 31, 2008

    In my area there are a few of the older schools that still have chalk boards. I dislike them tho! If I were teaching in that room I would say something. The white boards are just so cleaner and in my opinion cuter with the colored markers.
     
  24. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    and probably a heck of lot better for the environment...inhaling chalk dust over the years can't be good for anybody. markers probably won't do more damage than spraying air freshner. I personally don't like the smelly (fragrance..food, etc) ones...no need in encouraging a kid to sniff markers! :unsure:


    you might be an educator if you save all the tops and lids, you ever find, because you know they will fit on something... OMG..if you are really good...you have them sorted by size in ziplock bags!
     
  25. DocHistory11

    DocHistory11 Rookie

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    You might be an educator when your children begin to raise hands around you.

    You might be an educator when your paycheck ends before the third week of the month does.

    You might be an educator when you have nightmares of conferences and your dreams include discount teaching supplies, lesson plans, and games.
     
  26. iteachm123

    iteachm123 Comrade

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    You might be an educator when your 4 yr old son begins his sentences with, "Raise your hand if..." Yes, he really does this!
     
  27. iteachm123

    iteachm123 Comrade

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    You might be an educator if you spend your entire summer on here looking for new ideas for NEXT YEAR even though this school year ended a few days ago.
     
  28. DocHistory11

    DocHistory11 Rookie

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    Very true.! :rofl::rofl:
     
  29. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    you might be an educator if you are here at least 4 hours out of 24!
     
  30. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    You might be an educator if you catch yourself telling your husband to keep all four legs of his chair on the floor, please.
     
  31. iteachm123

    iteachm123 Comrade

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    You might be an educator if you get really excited when you find worksheets you can download!

    You might be an educator if you find misspelled words and punctuation on billboards as you are driving past them quickly.
     
  32. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

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    You might be an educator if you raise your hand at a restaurant to get the attention of the waiter (I do this all the time... :blush:)
     
  33. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    you know Jem, that doesn't work in college!

    I am the only idiot who keeps doing it....

    everyone else just blurts out what they want to say, and the teacher gives them the floor... I sit there like a high schooler, holding up my hand :D

    well, now I make a cute little pose, holding up a finger, like I'm flagging down a cab or something...

    old habits are hard to break

    I feel I am being rude if I just start talking while others are talking!!!
     
  34. TeacherMJ

    TeacherMJ Comrade

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    Those are too funny!

    I have an entire room of things that might be useful in the classroom :) No one in the family can throw anything out before checking if it needs to be saved for artwork...As long as I'm not alone in this one I can justify it!
     
  35. runsw/scissors

    runsw/scissors Phenom

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    ...if you feel the urge to discipline random children out in public.

    I just wanted to send a kid to time out today. He was in a store with his mother and decided it would be fun to start hitting one of the hanging manaquines!
     
  36. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Not me, I am just the opposite rws!

    I sense kids on my radar, and move in the opposite direction! I see them in the restaurant, and tell waitress to sit me someplace else, will not sit next to them on the bus, and move far away when I am at a show or anything else.

    Especially McDonalds's, Wendy's, etc.

    I KNOW what parents aren't doing with their kids. No point in me getting a high blood pressure. Last time I tried to yell at a kid who was bothering something, and bothering my kid, I got mobbed by a whole freaking family. They are real good about not doing anything, but if you mess with their kid, they want to do everything to you! :mad:
     
  37. KinderMissN

    KinderMissN Companion

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    You might be an educator if you find misspelled words and punctuation on billboards as you are driving past them quickly.[/QUOTE]

    I keep a collection of misspelled words on my computer. I carry a digital camera everywhere with me (helpful to get portfolio pictures of the kids). It has become this crazy obsession!
     
  38. DocHistory11

    DocHistory11 Rookie

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    You might be an educator when your spouse begins to tell people teachers really do work hard and deserve a pay raise.
     
  39. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    I keep a collection of misspelled words on my computer. I carry a digital camera everywhere with me (helpful to get portfolio pictures of the kids). It has become this crazy obsession![/QUOTE]

    OMG...that is an accident waiting to happen. :rolleyes: Too many immigrant business owners have managed quite well to totally destroy common words in their signs!! It makes me cringe, and I wonder if there is some type of law or licensing board that sends field reps around to check for those types of things!
     
  40. KinderMissN

    KinderMissN Companion

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    I make it a point to pull into their parking lots..teehee. I can't multitask that well!
     
  41. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    If you snatch them down, I will ride behind you and distract the cops by speeding away.
     

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