wow.... looking at a bridal registry for my husband's friend...

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by TennisPlayer, Jun 21, 2011.

  1. TennisPlayer

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    wow.... looking at a bridal registry for someone we need to buy for....

    wow!

    They have some $10 items as well as $650 vacuum and a $175 iron! :woot:

    I don't think it's nice to list such high priced items as a gift wish list... they have a ton of other high end priced things too. They did just move into a house but people don't need to spend a ton of money on these kinds of items when less expensive items will still work too!

    What do you think of high priced items on a registry??!!
    They already have a new house and have been living together for a few years so it's not like they don't have anything. okay, there are my thoughts!

    Several expensive suitcases....$640 one wow!!!
    $1800 bed frame....oh my goodness.

    I think I'll choose something that's not on the registry but will still be nice and they won't have any repeats.
     
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  3. MuggleBug

    MuggleBug Companion

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    Most stores offer a registry completion discount after the wedding. It's often 10-15% off whatever's left on your registry. I've known people to put high ticket items like appliances on their registry just so they can get the discount afterward.
     
  4. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I don't much care for registries in general, but I also have been surprisd by some of the high dollar items. I would never have the nerve. But that's just me. :)
     
  5. callmebob

    callmebob Enthusiast

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    I recall years ago my wife and I put some things on there that we did not expect anyone to buy, but just thought it would be fun to select. It just became a fun process, like shopping for us but not having to spend the money. We knew in the end we would not get a good portion of what was on there. We did not select a lot of those items, but picking a few of them was just fun for us.
     
  6. AZMrs.S

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    Wow! Some of that is really high! When we registered we really tried to have a large price variety... We didn't want people to spend a ton on us, but we knew that we were inviting some (relatives, etc) who would insist on paying a lot for a gift so we wanted to put stuff on there that we actually wanted! :D haha
     
  7. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    I think couples now typically are more established and often living together when they get married now. I have no need for any kind of "getting started" items - we really have everything and then some. If I was going to fill out a registry for us it would be for higher end upgrades or bigger stuff we can't afford or haven't splurged for. I don't expect anyone to buy these things for us, but I also wouldn't need anything less expensive. I think the higher end things should be a signal that what the couple really needs is money or gift cards, and like the other poster said, you usually get a discount on those items after the wedding if they aren't purchased for you. A gift card with a note that says "put this toward your ____" will probably be more than appreciated. In fact, they will get the discount later and you won't, so it almost makes more sense to do it that way.
     
  8. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    When someone in my family is getting married they will usually put several high priced items on their registries. If you are a member of the family you will probably pick an item for at least $100. A friend might pick a $50 or so item. If it is a $300 item or higher you will probably chip in for it and it will be from a few people like mom, sister, cousin, etc.
     
  9. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I'm not a fan of registries. If I'm getting you a gift, I'll pick it out. I always hate when the bride or new mom opens her gift and exclaims "OH, my China!!!! (or moniter or whatever.) As though I'm the UPS guy who delivered her stuff, and nothign more.

    I can see Teacher NY's point about gifts that people can chip in for.

    But beyond that, adults who have expensive tastes really should have the budgets to back them up. I'm an adult. If I really want something, I'll buy it myself, not put it on a list for other people to buy me.

    So the Christmas tablecloth that I embroidered for close friends wasn't on their registry. (Get that grin off your faces-- it was NOT a shark pillow!! :p )And the photography that Peter will be doing for other friends this summer, as their wedding gift, isn't on a registry either. Neither was the patio set that my sisters and I chipped in for for our niece.

    I'm buying you what I want to get you. If I'm invited to the wedding, the assumption is that I know you well enough to know your taste. If you don't want it, I'll include a gift receipt.
     
  10. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    I was going to say the same thing. It makes financial sense to create a wedding registry for those big-ticket items, even if you know no one in your family will buy from it, because you can buy all the "leftovers" for a discount. (Given the recent thread about food at the movies, maybe some people will believe that this sort of practice is immoral or unethical, but I don't.)

    I don't think having big-ticket items on one's registry is any more presumptuous or rude than having a registry in the first place. There are always people who think that registries are rude, and that's okay. I know I feel weird making a list of things that people can buy for me. On the other hand, as the gift-giver, it's nice knowing that the gift I pick out is one that the recipient will use and enjoy. If they'd enjoy a patio grill more than the complete season of Lost, then I'd rather give them the patio grill, you know? A registry is nice for that.
     
  11. Ms. I

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    I think it's good to have a range of priced items. That way, probably closer family & friends who want to shell out the bucks will still know what to get the happy couple OR maybe a few people may want to chip in for one of the pricier items like Teacher NY said.
     
  12. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    My family always chips in for something more expensive when we go. It's easier on the eight of us to buy one-two things for more money than 8 different items. Besides, I usually end up doing the shopping for all my brothers and sisters and parents as well.
     
  13. TennisPlayer

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    Everything they selected is really exp unless its aomething that fits in a drawer like a kitchen tool. ..not many things ard 50 ish
     
  14. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    Most of our registers were between 20-100 dollars, with an average of 50 I would say. But we did throw a few bigger items on there for my family and for the discount afterwards. Can't beat 20% off what wasn't bought.
     
  15. Ima Teacher

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    I didn't even WANT a register when I got married. I was a 30 year old homeowner, and I didn't need any kind of "getting started" things.

    MIL insisted, so we did put some high-end things on the list. I put upgrades of current items and things that were "wants" that I hadn't been able to afford with the purchase of the house.
     
  16. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    I once apologized to a friend for only purchasing a small item on her registry (a bamboo cutting board) because the other three small things were out of stock and were reversed on my card before I realized it. It turns out that's the single item she uses the most in her kitchen and thinks of me whenever she uses it.
     
  17. Joyful!

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    I agree with Alice. It's kind of like forced tipping for me. I may do it, but I won't like it, and you'll get less than you would have if you'd left me alone. Gifts are tokens of love and well wishes, not a requirement of attendance at a shower or wedding. Maybe it's just an age group thing. I don't know, but I definitely share Alice's view.
     
  18. LUCHopefulTeach

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    Everyone I know, family and friends, who have gotten married in the past 15 years has had BOTH a shower and a reception. They create separate registries for both events or a registry for the shower and except cash/checks for the reception. That drives me crazy. They expect two gifts within a short amount of time for getting married. Give me a break!
     
  19. PCdiva

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    I don't think it's an age thing...I'm 27- I've been in and to my share of weddings, thrown bridal showers, baby showers, etc. these past two years...its getting worse and worse.

    Now people are having "peek-a-boo" showers- where you wrap the gift in clear cellophane, so it doesn't have to be unwrapped- just passed around the room. Disgusting! One of the bridesmaids in the last wedding I was in wanted to do that- I was the Maid of Honor and was absolutely putting my foot down on that!
     
  20. Missy

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    I do like a registry to choose from when I have to buy a gift for someone my husband works with, and I don't know them. I know my husband could do the shopping, but it stresses him out and I don't mind doing it.
     
  21. TennisPlayer

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    Wow that is rude of people to ask for so much!

    This will be his 2nd marriage *and* this couple has lived together for about 4 years now. I just think that's double "rude" to ask for high end things and they probably have most of these things just not the high end versions.
     
  22. TennisPlayer

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    Now as for baby showers.... I've recently heard about people bringing frozen homecooked meals ...I think that is a fabulous idea!!!
     
  23. LUCHopefulTeach

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    My uncle and his EX-wife had their wedding shower 3 weeks before the wedding. They registered for high-end appliances, bed sheets, furniture, etc. Some showed up to the reception empty handed since they brought something for them at the wedding shower and my EX-aunt, after too much champagne, actually got on the DJ mic and announced to everyone proper wedding ettique... $50 per person in the form of cash/check when coming to the reception. :mad: :eek:hmy:
     
  24. MissCeliaB

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    We registered for some really expensive things, but we have some rather wealthy friends and family who were going to spend that anyway. Most people went off of the registry and bought other things that were way more expensive that what we had registered for, but very nice.
     
  25. LUCHopefulTeach

    LUCHopefulTeach Habitué

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    For my cousin's baby shower, she registered for the most ridiculous items, basically the most expensive item possible for every category. Most people didn't have the money or honestly, weren't even close to her and received an invite from her after years of not speaking so they bought things online for cheaper or cheaper versions of what she registered for.

    Not me, I knew how materialistic my cousin is so I sucked it up and bought her the $150 swing she wanted. I also bought her a book for her baby girl and when I she opened it she went "What is this FOR?" :toofunny:
     
  26. JustMe

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    Unbelievable. :dizzy:

    I'm also in my late twenties and I dislike registries.
     
  27. SpaceAngel

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    I do like registries, I have a terrible time trying to pick things out. I also don't necessarily have a problem with expensive items being on there, because in my family, people chip in on group gifts a lot and also, for the discount later on. I probably wouldn't do it myself, but I probably wouldn't buy those things for myself, either.

    Generally, if I have a shower to go to (baby or bridal) I look at the registry first; if I don't like anything on it, I buy something of my own choosing.
     
  28. Joyful!

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    Well, I find it heartening to know it is not an age thing. :cool: The peek a boo thing--why bother? Just send us a link of what people committed to buy and then I won't even have to go to the shower:lol:. Seriously, I'm still shaking my head over the peek a boo shower. :dizzy:
     
  29. mollydoll

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    I also think registries are gauche. I would never have one, and I buy gifts that I choose.
     
  30. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Awesome point! Actually, with that point, this is an idea I can totally get behind! :haha:
     
  31. MuggleBug

    MuggleBug Companion

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    I may be in the minority but I really like registries. I'd rather get the couple something they want/need. DH and I live in a small apartment so we didn't have a lot of space for extra "stuff." I love, love thoughtful/creative gifts but there are definitely some gifts that really are useless and you can tell the person didn't put a lot of thought into it and then it's like "Now what do we do with this?". For weddings that we're invited to where I don't know the couple that well (i.e. co-workers of DH's, etc), I much prefer to buy off their registry so they get something they want. Same with baby showers. We did a lot of research on the baby items we wanted. I read consumer reports and reviews/ratings on the safety of each product. A lot of people also have themes so they register for bedding, etc, that match their themes. Or they may have already received certain items as hand-me-downs from other people with kids and not need duplicates...by going off their registry, I know it's something they want/can use. That's why I like them.
     
  32. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    I like the registries to a point, especially when the couple is one whose tastes are a slight mystery. However, when my mother browbeat me into going to Macy's and registering for stuff I didn't want or need because she thought I deserved more expensive stuff, I refused to tell any of my friends to go there.
     
  33. webmistress

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    I really don't agree with putting expensive (though it's subjective) items on your registry.

    I have read about people creating registries for 8th grade graduations! It's out of control.

    I put together a registry for the baby shower I recently had. I don't think anyone looked at it at all. My gifts that I received ended up being much better than what was on my registry.
    People bought what they wanted, and were very creative with their gifts. It left me truly surprised at the shower & so grateful.
     
  34. eddygirl

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    I have to admit that I really like registries. Maybe I'm getting lazy in my old age, but if I can look at someone's registry on-line, order and pay for it, and have it shipped to me, then I am a happy camper! But then again, I got married in the days when a variety of registries were not as common, so I found myself returning 3 crockpots after our wedding shower.
     
  35. Blue

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    Three crockpots are nothing. I got 35 casserole dishes for wedding gifts.

    I am making pillow cases for my GS wedding. I know it doesn't sound like much, but we are also paying for the tuxedos.
     
  36. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I think the pillow cases sound lovely!
     
  37. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I love this idea!
     
  38. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    That is a really good idea but I don't know where people would store the frozen dinners during the shower since I've never been to one that was held at someone's house.

    You got off cheap since in my family the "expected" check is at least $100 per person. Nobody ever comes out and says this it's just a known fact. 5 years from now it will go up $50 I'm sure.
    Also, getting a gift from the registry is expected at the shower only. Nobody shows up to the actual wedding with anything other than an envelope with money. There is never a "present" table. Just usually a large decorated box where you can put the envelope. Again, this is just how my family does it. Nobody would ever come out and say anything if you didn't give the right kind of gift but it is some kind of unspoken rule that we have followed ever since I was old enough to attend weddings.

    Anyway, back to the original topic, I think registries are really there to guide you in the right direction while buying a gift but if you didn't get something from it then that's your choice.
     
  39. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    I always think of registries as just a suggestion, not a requirement. I don't think any of my friends would be upset or offended it I bought or made something *not* on the list. If I want to get them something special and meaningful, I do. If I don't have any idea what to get, I go to the registry.
     
  40. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    I also think a registry is just a suggestion. If you would rather pick out your own gift, go for it. But I can remember some presents my mom picked out for weddings before registries were popular - crystal frames and vases. And I just think what the heck would I do with that?

    Like I said, if a couple is already living together and in their 30s, they, like me, probably have 3 sets of china, more than enough pots and pans, 3 sets of towels, 3 complete sets of flatware, 2+ of most kitchen utensil, several mixing bowls, casserole dishes, 2 of every tool I can imagine, a several complete sets of glasses including red and white wine, margarita, martini, scotch, pilsner, etc.

    If I was to register right now, I would probably register for all-clad pots and pans to upgrade from the ones I have, and they are expensive, a new couch, a bed (we have the mattress and frame, but no nice bed), a new oven, and a bedding set. Those are the things I need or could really use now. If I really scoured Macy's, I am sure I could find some things that were more inexpensive that might be neat to have, but putting items on your registry just so everyone can buy you a gift seems silly to me. If you can't afford what is on the registry, choose your own gift, or buy a gift card or send a check.

    I guess my questions is, without a registry, what would be your go-to gift for a newlywed couple? Like, let's say your cousin is getting married. They are family, but you aren't overly close and haven't seen their home. What would you buy?
     
  41. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    I've heard of cases when the gifter was BERATED for buying something similar to the registry but not on it, or bought from the registry and didn't include a gift receipt. This was because the couple had the plan to return all the gifts to Store X and take the cash.
     

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