Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by jenn888, Oct 20, 2013.
Oct 20, 2013
I will probably delete this soon, as I don't know if teachers at my school frequent this site.
Does she have a personal/social relationship with the parents?
Just being one of the students former teacher....they did not know one another before the child was in her class.
But they have a personal/social relationship now? I honestly don't see it as a problem. She's hanging out with the parents, right? She's allowed to do that.
She hangs out with the kids when it parent isn't home, and has the kids over to her house. But, it's whatever I guess. Maybe it's a normal thing for some...I guess to each their own. I won't be the one is question
Personally, I wouldn't make the choice to hang out alone with kids, but I don't see a problem with her hanging out with the parents.
My school wouldn't allow this.
The teacher being friends with the parents and all that entails is no problem. At all. My employer doesn't determine my friends.
I'm wondering if your additional information (that she hangs with the kids alone and has them over to her house) isn't as questionable as it sounds given various circumstances...
Hanging out alone with kids from your school is, to put it blunt, extremely stupid unless there is a pre-existing relationship, or some specific, justifiable reason. Having kids over because you want to hang out is just asking for trouble. Having kids over because you're friends with their parents and they asked you to babysit for a few hours is not.
I'm friends with some of my former parents, and by necessity, that sometimes involves kids seeing me outside of a professional context, but it's important to keep the friendship to the parents (while still making sure the kids know that you value the relationship you had and still have with them!) It's a delicate balance.
Is she watching/babysitting the kids when she is alone with them? Doing a favor for the parents? Or tutoring them, perhaps?
We have paras that provide childcare for school families on evenings, weekends, and school vacation days. I personally wouldn't want to do it, unless I had developed a close friendship with the parents, but I don't see a problem with others doing it under childcare circumstances. I definitely don't see a problem with it if the teacher is friends with the parents, regardless of whether or not they met at school.
Well, I was good friends with someone before her son was my student and continue to be good friends with her afterwards. Before, during, and after her son was in my class, my friend, her son, and her other kids were frequently at my house or I was at their house.
However, unless you are a tutor or a babysitter (or someone other profession that requires it), I don't think it's such a great idea to be alone with other people's kids.
Our teachers who have kids are often alone with other kids when they come over for play dates and things. My one colleague has had almost the entire seventh grade (50 kids) at her house. That to me is normal.
If there's no other reason, I can't see my school being okay with it.
We had a single coach that would have one of the boys over to his house to spend the night and play video games...I thought it was not appropriate, but his parents didn't so it is none of my business.
If the teacher has a child the same age as the former students and those students are coming to hang out with the child, then that's fine. If the teacher is a friend with a former student's parent and they hang out, then that is fine. But, if the teacher is hanging out with former students by themselves, to me that is not cool.
Wow... that seems like an incredibly horrible idea. I can't believe parents wouldn't have a problem with that.
I'm rarely in my CLASSROOM alone with a child, let alone my home .... OVER NIGHT.
If I am ever alone in my classroom, the door to the outside world is open and all the blinds are open.
I don't even think about it now...it's just second nature. Such is the life of a male teacher.
I'm not sure I agree that it's none of your business. I would make sure that it was known by admin that this was happening. It's incredibly inappropriate, and if it's innocent the teacher should know better... If it's not, I couldn't live with myself if I didn't do something.
We had a recent mega deal with a man who ran an inner city youth program. The kids from the school all went and had lunch there. He did some amazing things for those kids. He was elected to city council, and was very well known for helping out children from low income families. Then it came out a year or so ago that he was having parties with the boys at his house... He's now in jail. I simply think you can't be too careful. That post gave me the heebiejeebies.
mrachelle: What age is the child staying over?
At our school this is against our agreement for child safety. Teachers would be expected to report this to the principal. Teachers who don't report it could be reprimanded.
I really don't know what you should do at your school, but I didn't like it when you said it is none of your business. This is why so much child abuse occurs because when a teacher is alone with a student others say "It is none of my business". Do what you believe is right and what you've been taught in your child safety PDs.
So teachers aren't allowed to have family friends with children? What exactly does the agreement for child safety say on this matter?
I think he was referring to the... interesting situation... described in mrachelle87's post. With the coach having kids spend the night at his house with no other adults around.
High school...He was the same age as my son...the mother bought the boy and the coach matching pj's. One year they dressed as each other for Halloween...He was an assistant high school coach. The high school boys all talked about it and the head coach and principal knew. Both of his parents knew and his mother was ok with it. In fact, the coach would eat at her house occasionally. I thought it was inappropriate, but I was one of the only ones.
IT is none of my business...he was over 15 years of age, BOTH his parents knew and OK'ed it...the head coach knew...and all the boys knew...SO it isn't any of my business...if it was my child, then yes. If it was a child with parents not involved, yes...but in this case the mom not only knew, but seemed to encourage the relationship.
Matching PJs? So strange!
I'm not ready to say it's inappropriate (they were not sharing a bed, right?), but it would be a flag on my radar. I wonder if it a friendship, father/son relationship, mentor/mentee relationship, or something else.
Well... that certainly ups the creepiness level up another few notches. What poor judgement on everybody's part. Head coach, assistant coach, parents, principal. Even if it was completely innocent that's... just really weird.
But if it's innocent and the only problem is that OTHERS have a problem with it, then I don't think it's a problem. It's not up to the head coach or principal or colleague to forbid the assistant coach to do this.
Maybe the mom and the coach were actually together and she was trying to foster a relationship with the kid.
I don't think so, historyva. I think the divorce was bad and mom thought son needed a friend to look up to. I felt it was weird, but I know both parents and feel they are on top of it. So it isn't any of my business or anyone else's. The boy is at college, and they are still friends.