Would you take your husband's name if...

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Pisces_Fish, Oct 24, 2010.

  1. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Oct 25, 2010


    I think any discussion of the last names of husbands and wives inevitably becomes a discussion about the last names of the children.

    I'm not exactly sure what you meant here: "When all the kids who hv difficult names want to legally chng their names when they become adults to mk their lives easier, that's their business." Which difficult names are you talking about-- the one that dad had or the hyphenated one with mom's and dad's last names?

    I certainly wasn't advocating that anyone change their names, or poking my head into anyone's "business." I was expressing an opinon. I believe the intent of the original post was to ask for opinions.

    As to kids being made fun of: I've taught a boy named Kim (and curiously, he was of Italian, not Korean, descent), a girl whose last name rhymed with "have a tube of glue"-- that's how she told us to pronounce it, and I still remember 20something years later, and a host of other "difficult" names. I once had a kid transfer from my school to the local public school (money issues) and from my debate team to theirs. She was born in Kenya. Her first name starte with a double "N" and her last name was very unfamilar to me (though incredibly lyrical) Her new debate coach asked me every week for six months how to pronounce her last name. I've taught a couple of Polish kids whose last names seemed entirely composed of z's, y's and k's.

    Heaven help the kid who makes fun of another in my hearing for ANY reason. That topic most certainly isn't limited to names. That's a discussion of bullying, and I have no tolerance for bullying. But as I understand it, a bully doesn't need a "good reason" for his behavior. If his intended victim is Tom Smith instead of Tom Wxyxayxay, then the bully will simply find another reason to pick on Tom. I can't imagine it actually being about the name.

    And I understand that adults have the perogative to legally change their names; that's why I chose to change my name when I got married.

    As to this: "In fact, one reason numerous celebs do it is to mk their names more American-sounding to mk their lives easier in the show business industry. If that's what they want to do, it's not up to us to say." Let's just say that of all the possible role models out there, I choose not to take guidance from "celebs." How incredibly bland a world we would have if we all had "American" sounding names. How many Smiths and Jones do we want to have?? I think the rich cultural diversity of our nation is something to treasure, not erase.
     
  2. Maryhf

    Maryhf Connoisseur

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    Oct 25, 2010

    Incredibly bland. My children at 17 and 19 are just starting to embrace the uniqueness of their name (and their heritage). If they, and their future wives, decide to change their last name sometime, that is part of an adult decision.
    Just an aside, my DH's last name has 17 letters + a hyphen. His first name has 4 letters. Amazing how many people make NO effort to learn to pronounce his first name correctly. I always noticed which teachers tried to respect the name and how many brushed it off as inconsequential.
     
  3. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Oct 25, 2010

    On a side note: When Japan invaded Korea, one of the things they did was to change the last names, in an effort to help erase the Korean identity. That's why there are so many "Parks" and "Kims" in Korea.
     
  4. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Oct 25, 2010

    Regarding the 1st paragraph, I'm talking about anyone who has any kind of name they don't like for whatever reason, whether it be they were teased, they just don't like it & want another name, too tedious to go through pronouncing/spelling out for everyone constantly, etc.

    Regarding the 2nd paragraph about celebs, I'm just saying how many of them change their name for whatever reason too. (Even Jennifer Aniston's last name isn't her actual last name.) Whether they're a good role model or not is another whole story. Anyway, this thread's been interesting. :)
     
  5. MsMar

    MsMar Fanatic

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    Oct 25, 2010

    When my husband and I got married he changed his last name to mine. Mine is a very unique name (Not just in this country, but in Sweden as well, which is where I am from. My great grandfather made the name up as a way to differentiate himself from a very common name that had been his before he changed.). I didn't want to change it, or hyphenate it.

    We both felt we should have the same last name that our children would also have. So he changed from his very-easy-to-spell name, to my more unique name because it meant a lot to me.
     
  6. Ms.H

    Ms.H Companion

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    Oct 26, 2010

    Teachers, I think, have a lot more serious consequences than other professions when it comes to taking on a new name. Who else has to hear "Mrs. so-and-so" a hundred times a day? And who else has middle schoolers/ high schoolers actively thinking of ways that their name could be rhymed/ altered to something funny or mean?
     
  7. WaterfallLady

    WaterfallLady Enthusiast

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    Oct 30, 2010

    I don't know what I will do. My last name is incredibly easy, four letters, and a common word. My boyfriend, who plans to propose to me by the end of 2011, has a long last name that's hard to say, but very common. I think taking his last name would confuse my students so much, but I want everyone in my future family to have the same last names.

    Somewhat related story: I went to a wedding a few weeks ago and missed a day of school, and apparently my students didn't know the difference between going to a wedding and getting married.
     
  8. Maryhf

    Maryhf Connoisseur

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    Oct 30, 2010

    Please make your own personal decisions without regard to whether or not your students will be confused about your name. Remember, they were confused about where you were (wedding or marriage). Do your own thing - whatever makes you happy.
     
  9. runsw/scissors

    runsw/scissors Phenom

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    Oct 30, 2010

    My maiden name is very plain and unoriginal. I don't think I would have a problem adopting my future hubby's last name unless it was along the lines of Van Der Fart. If it rhymed (not likely given my first name) I could keep my short unoriginal maiden name and just add his.
     

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