Would you marry outside of your religion?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by orangetea, Nov 26, 2012.

  1. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    Would you? Or does anyone have any experience with this?
     
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  3. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    My dh was raised in the same religion as I. My sisters both married spouses of different religions. Hasn't been a problem for any of us...it's not necessarily about shared religion for us, but about respect for each other and deep love and committment to each other. Communication about matters such as religion, finances, raising children is SO important before getting married...
     
  4. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    I don't know if I could. I am a firm believer in my faith and since that is a big part of who I am, I don't know if I could marry someone who wasn't.
     
  5. thirdgradebuzz

    thirdgradebuzz Comrade

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    :agreed:

    The values and beliefs of my religion are important to me, and I'm not interested in being with someone who doesn't share them. I dated a guy in college of a different religion, and we just didn't see eye to eye on so many things.
     
  6. MikeTeachesMath

    MikeTeachesMath Devotee

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    My fiance and I are both agnostic so it's a non-issue for us. Would I still marry him if he weren't? Of course.
     
  7. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    Growing up in the Bible Belt I dated mostly Christians growing up. I'm an atheist and I figured I'd just end up with a Christian and had sort of accepted it. I thought as long as my future husband didn't make me go to church and didn't tell me I was going to hell every other day (like my aunt likes to do), I would be cool with it.

    Then I met my current boyfriend who is also atheist. And geeze louise it is soooooo much better!

    So would I marry out of my beliefs? Yes. Am I glad I'm not? YES!
     
  8. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    :thumb::thumb::cool::cool::p:p
     
  9. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    For me, personally, I think I would be fine with marrying someone of another religion, because I believe in the unity of all religions. I was just not willing to convert to another religion and lose all control of my children because of religion--that just didn't seem right for me.
     
  10. sue35

    sue35 Habitué

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    Yep and I did. I am Catholic and my husband is Jewish. We have the same morals and that is all that is important to me.
     
  11. MikeTeachesMath

    MikeTeachesMath Devotee

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    :lol: :)
     
  12. teachinnola

    teachinnola Rookie

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    For me, I think it would depend on how into their religion they were (and actually, I think that goes for someone who I share the same religious belief with, too). I was raised Catholic, and while I am not a church-goer, that is the religion I identify with. I wouldn't convert if someone else wanted me to, and I could not date/marry someone who made their religion their whole life, even if they were Catholic.

    If they were pretty laid back about it, if we shared the same morals/expectations, and if I didn't have to deal with any unhappy family members about that specific issue, then I wouldn't care. In my experience, though, it's much easier to date someone agnostic or [raised] Catholic; we tend to have the same expectations, morals, and I don't have to deal with as much family interference because we're the same, or they don't care.
     
  13. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    :love:
     
  14. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

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    My sister "was" catholic and her husband is Jehovah Witness. Now my sister pretends to be JW just to keep the peace in the house...
     
  15. Rabbitt

    Rabbitt Connoisseur

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    :yeahthat:
     
  16. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I would not have married my husband (at the time we married) if he hadn't been a Christian. My faith was extremely important and I couldn't imagine not fully practicing it with him. I needed more than him just respecting it...I needed him on the journey with me. Now, though, I am accepting of whatever path people choose which brings them closer to goodness and love...and in fact I am on a different path than I was on the first twenty some years of my life.
     
  17. Chrissteeena

    Chrissteeena Companion

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    I am Roman Catholic.
    My fiance is Jewish (his dad was orthodox jewish) but was raised Lutheran.

    We now are in the process of becoming members of an Episcopal Church that we both love to go to.
     
  18. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Wow, this is a sad situation. :(
     
  19. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    It would depend on how devout the other person would be in their faith. I'm Christian, but I'm not a regular church-goer. Actually like Chrissteeena, I've been thinking about attending an Episcopal church. It is more in-line with my belief system than the other denominations.

    I can't really deal with fundamentalists of any religion.
     
  20. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    If people can handle doing it (marrying one of a different religion), that's great. I don't think I would.

    I agree. To pretend to be something you're not for one's whole life... :(
     
  21. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    I am Baptist...my husband was raised Catholic. He attended church with me when we dated. He professed his faith in God before he asked me to marry him. We are not strong church goers, but our beliefs and morals are inline. My daughter (who is ten) attends a different church with my mother. It is the same faith, but closer to her classmates and school.
     
  22. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    I agree with this.
     
  23. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

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    What is especially sad, is that her husband picks and chooses which part of the religion they will follow. He drinks, swears, smokes, goes to bars, watches R rated movies (but she can't own any romance novels). He really doesn't do anything that involves money (birthdays). What's funny is that every Thanksgiving and Christmas, someone in his family just happens to have a turkey and they invite all of the family over for turkey. Plus, his mother has a party every year for her grandkids and gives them all a present.:dizzy:
     
  24. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I had a friend, Proud, whose family did similar things. They didn't have birthday parties, but the day before or after the birthday she just happened to get a gift. You know...just because. Lol. :)
     
  25. orangetea

    orangetea Connoisseur

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    Sad. :(
     
  26. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

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    I'm Baptist and hubby is Mormon. We go to his church but I don't think I would join it. 1. I don't believe in their modern day prophets. 2. I don't believe in baptism by proxy and 3. I'm going to drink my tea and what little coffee I do drink. But overall, I like going to their church and get along well with the church members. Better there than at other baptist churches I've gone to over the years.
     
  27. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

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    I would marry someone of another Christian denomination, but I don't know if I would be able to marry outside my religion. It is a huge part of my life, and I truly can't imagine not being able to share that. (That said, the guy I'm currently seeing is actually studying to be a pastor in my church...)
     
  28. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

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    A lot of people would disagree, but, depending on your beliefs, I would say, don't do it! I did it and was married for 27 years, but it was a mistake. I stayed in it because when I said I DO, I DID! But he didn't. If you're a Bible reader and want some input, send me a private message and I'll send you some things to look up. I'll just say, I wouldn't do it again!
     
  29. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Being old school.....
    I should have married in religion, not one of my ex-wives was the same religion, Religion was one of the problems. I had at one time wanted to go in to the ministry...... I ended up not going to church as much as I "needed" for "revival" of my faith. I am now firm believer in being linked in faith helps the marriage.
     
  30. monsieurteacher

    monsieurteacher Aficionado

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    I didn't, and that was a very important part of my decision.
     
  31. knitter63

    knitter63 Groupie

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    I don't think I could marry someone who wasn't Christian. I was raised Lutheran, but became Catholic when I married my husband. We have the same beliefs and that is important to me.
     
  32. Peregrin5

    Peregrin5 Maven

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    Growing up, my dad is Southern Baptist, and my mother is Catholic. There were always little arguments about doctrine things like Catholic prayers to Mary, Latin mass, how the pope is a conduit to heaven, etc. that my mother devoutly believed in, but my father felt was incorrect. Their marriage worked though, but I think it was because of my fathers skill at knowing when to roll over and give up the argument. (My mum would probably never give up.)

    I think different religions could work but only if the dynamic between the partners was such that they knew when to stop before it gets too heated. My parents were both devout in the belief of God so that was something they held in common, but in partners of different denominations, if neither were extremely devout or put their faith before everything else, I think it would work as well.
     
  33. AMK

    AMK Aficionado

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    I am Catholic and my husband is Presbyterian. Never been an issue. We were married in a Catholic Church - not a full mass though and our children are/will be Catholic. We joined a church that is next to a Presbyterian church so my husband can attend services there if he would like. His father was Catholic and when he married his mom he changed religions. I would never ask anyone to do that nor would I change religions either.
     
  34. myangel52

    myangel52 Comrade

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    For what it is worth, I have an aunt who is a member of the LDS church (Mormon) who is married to a Buddhist man. They have been happily married for 30+ years.

    I think it depends on the situation. I would not make sweeping generalizations that "everyone needs to marry within the same religion or it won't work" nor would I say that it is doomed to fail if you marry someone with a different religious faith. It all comes down to the two individuals in question, and how they are willing to make it work. :) Much like a situation where one spouse believes and one doesn't. That could get tetchy as well, depending on who the two people are and how they are willing to work it out.
     
  35. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Your Husband is a good man!

    That's all I am saying not trying to show my natural bias for Presbyterians

     

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