Would you/did you make your kids

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Bella2010, Oct 26, 2013.

  1. Bella2010

    Bella2010 Habitué

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    go to college? By "make" I don't mean carry them there kicking and screaming, lol. I mean more of like always expecting them to go so they never saw it as an optional thing.

    My kiddo is only three. Please don't think I'm judging him or mapping out his future already. Some things he does, though, remind me so much of my g-pa and uncle. I can't really speak for my g-pa's schooldays since he had to quit in the 3rd grade to take care of his family. However, in that short amount of time he got in trouble a lot, like everyday he got swats. My uncle got in trouble almost every single day at school. The high school principal made the kids carve an initial of their name in the paddle each time they got swats. By his senior year, he had his first, middle, and last named carved. He went to college and flunked out his freshman semester. They both went on to have successful careers in farming and ranching.

    Anyway, my point to all that is he is really good at "figuring" things out and building things out of crazy stuff. I really can't see him every being the "school" type kiddo. Before I had him, I always told DH that going to college wouldn't be an option. That we'd always push it as an extension of high school.

    Now I'm not so sure about that theory.

    Beth
     
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  3. Mrs.DLC

    Mrs.DLC Comrade

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    Mine went, but I didn't push. I think there are many trades, etc., that are just as good as a degree.( Especially if one is not an" elitist "type who has to have the status or degrees...) I knew a bank president (family business)who was able to "retire" in his 40's-he now" works "in a garage (mechanic type things) and loves it!! Many careers require a degree, but if one has an aptitude or passion for something else, I think that is great. Many of the trades earn a lot more than I do...:)
     
  4. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    I expect mine to go. My oldest is going to a community college and my youngest has been accepted to a major university. Each either chose or is choosing a path that fits their needs.
     
  5. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I wasn't pushed or expected to go to college, but they assumed I would because I've always wanted to teach. I still wasn't really supported, though.

    I would not expect my children to attend college if the had dreams, wishes, plans, talents, and skills that didn't require college. That said, I would think it would be a good idea for them to attend while pursuing their Number One. My brother is a farmer and wishes he went to college...it would help alleviate some of the stress he feels being a family farmer. These things are dropping like flies, so to speak, and I know it worries him.
     
  6. HistoryVA

    HistoryVA Devotee

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    It was so expected in my family that I didn't really understand that it was optional until I was an older child. All of my parent's siblings went and both of my parents had multiple Master's Degrees, so it was just assumed. My parents are even disappointed that my brother stopped at a Bachelor's.
     
  7. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

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    I would be okay as long as he had some plan. Kiddo is not living off mom and dad until we die lol.
     
  8. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Some sort of post-secondary education was expected for both of my kids. They did both end up at university--my son has graduated and is considering options for his master's, and my daughter is in a pre-professional program and is eyeing med school. However, if they had decided that community college or apprenticeship programs were what they wanted to do, I would have been supportive of that as well.
     
  9. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    My whole life, I was raised with how so important college is, so I think it was kind of expected that I'd go, so I applied & went as soon as I graduated from HS & there were no questions or aguments about it. There was not really any talk about how high to go that I recall (undergrad, graduate, etc.). But of course, the higher, the nicer. Notice I didn't say better.

    If I have a child, I'd definitely want him/her to go. Not that the outcome can never go the other way, but I think if parents instill the value & importance of higher education, more than likely, the child will just go...hopefully.

    I never gave my parents ANY objections about anything. They were extremely blessed/lucky with me! I just did everything they wanted because I saw the value in it myself.
     
  10. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    The assumption in my house is that all 3 of my kids will get some sort of post-secondary degree.
     
  11. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    My son will graduate from junior college with associate degrees in Agriculture Education and Criminal Justice. He will then transfer to a four year where he will get his Bachelor's in Criminal Justice. He wants to work in law enforcement. I made him promise he would have a back up plan if law enforcement falls through. He never thought not going to college was an option. He had to go.
     
  12. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    I assume my daughter will go on to do some sort of post-secondary something: jr college, university, trade, etc.
     
  13. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Boy, I remember being told that I was going to college, no matter what.

    One of the "less academic" boys in my class went on to be a farmer. He makes more than most of his classmates as farming is his thing.
     
  14. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    Nobody ever told me either way, but I always assumed I would go to college. It's kind of unusual that I did since nobody else in my family ever went to college.
     
  15. geoteacher

    geoteacher Devotee

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    We expected that our two would go. Son has his degree and us gainfully employed. Daughter is a college freshman.
     
  16. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    I was the first in my family to go to college and I still remember my grandfather making fun of me because my older male cousins hadn't gone. My father didn't finish high school. My mother was very supportive every step of the way.

    My husband and I just assumed our daughters would go to college, but I hope if they had different ideas that we would have listened to them. They are now in grad school and law school.
     
  17. TeachingHistory

    TeachingHistory Companion

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    It was expected that I go to college, but I know I put that idea in my own head.

    My dad almost flunked out of HS, he'll tell you that the only reason he didn't was because they put him in the trade school. He says he would have never made it through college or anything like it.

    He now owns his trade business going on 30 years, his customers love him, and he's the hardest working guy I know. If I end up being half as successful at life as he is I will be thrilled.

    Right now my sister and I are both working on our masters, and may go on eventually to our doctorates.

    My kid (if I ever have them)? I want a good career for them. If that means a college degree fine, if not, that's fine too.
     
  18. chebrutta

    chebrutta Enthusiast

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    Absolutely an expectation. There was never any other option in my house. My dad was the first in his family to go to college; my mom was the first to graduate high school (she went to nursing school).

    I most likely won't push any future children for college. BF went but didn't finish; he's successful in his profession.
     
  19. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    It is an expectation in my house. We talk about college with my three year old already. However, when my children are nearing the time to make a decision, we will support them in whatever they choose.

    It's always better to have the high expectations then to suddenly try to up the game later.
     
  20. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    I don't remember anyone telling me that I had to go, but I remember feeling like I was expected to go, especially from my Grandfather, who dropped out in the 8th grade and couldn't read.

    I have older cousins, but I was the first to graduate high school and go straight to college. Some of my older cousins eventually went to college or a trade school.
     
  21. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Expectation in our house as well. My mom said you need to go I don't care if you get a degree in basket weaving. LOL!!!

    I went to community college took everything I could there cheaper and then to university.
     
  22. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    It was an expectation for me, but looking back I wish I would have explored more options. I wish I would have went the community college route, then to University. My loans would be much prettier to look at.

    Now that I work for a college, my kids know that the CC is their first step...it's paid for.
     
  23. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Just curious, Bella, why had you already told your DH that college wouldn't be an option before you even had your child?

    I don't think college is for everyone, but I always figured my sons would go...both DH and I have postgraduate degrees, education is highly valued in our family...BUT if either son had opted for a trade school instead, we would have supported that.
     
  24. ecteach

    ecteach Devotee

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    Absolutely not! I have a 4-year degree and I make $31,000 in my 8th year of teaching. My brother (who is 2 years older) went into the Navy and got an electrician certification. He makes over $70,000 a year. He has traveled all around the world with the Navy, and before he got married he traveled doing electrician "stuff":p. He got hotels paid for, meal vouchers, and lived with my parents when he was off, which wasn't much. He basically saved his whole salary for 8 years, and when he got married, he paid for his house in cash. I live in a 3 bedroom apartment, and have a negative balance in my account as I type.

    sigh. And my parents thought he was the one who would always struggle when he didn't go to college. I remember my mom saying that she felt like "her life was over."
     
  25. Bella2010

    Bella2010 Habitué

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    I think it's because my parents never really stressed college to me, so I didn't go right out of high school, which put me behind as far as when people typically start their career. Only when I went through a deep depression and my parents were worried about me did they suggest college because they thought I needed something to divert my attention from a lot of crap that was going on in my life.

    DH had scholarships offered to him but didn't take them because his parents never emphasized higher ed. In fact, out of his five siblings, only he and one brother graduated high school. DH has said how easier his career path would be, like he'd have options to work for state and federal agencies, if he had a college degree.

    So, basically it was because things would have been much easier for me to start my career out of college instead of waiting to start and because DH said what he did about career opportunities. Hope that rambling makes sense, lol.

    My new stance is that DH and I want DS growing up knowing that I expect him to have specialized training of some sort, whether that be a trade school, community college, or college degree.

    ETA: I think another reason is because of my sister. She's in banking and has moved through the ranks and is now a branch manager/VP who makes twice what I do. She doesn't have a degree, but said she could have moved up faster if she did.

    Beth
     

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