Would you date a janitor?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Teacher_Lyn, Apr 30, 2009.

  1. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    I would wonder why he won't tell you what he does. Now you have me curious, please find out what he does and let us know.
     
  2. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    A lot of music and noise? Could he be a bartender at a bar/lounge in the hotel?
     
  3. hdb2008

    hdb2008 Rookie

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    I will never understand those who think their job is better than someone else's. As long as a person is working and HAPPY with their job-why should it matter what that job is? My husband is the Animal Control Officer (dog catcher)in our county and I am proud that he actually has a job with the economy in the shape it is currently in.
     
  4. Rebel1

    Rebel1 Connoisseur

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    He could be a Bouncer!?!
     
  5. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    My concern would be that you have to "piece together" information; that he's not more forthcoming about his life. His job choice would be way down at the bottom of the list for me.

    That said, sure I would date a janitor. Or a plumber or an electrician. Or any other unmarried guy who treated me right.
     
  6. socaligirl

    socaligirl Rookie

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    That's the right way to think. My grandfather supported my grandmother and seven children working for the phone company for thirty years. He hated his job, but he did it for his family. Any guy in our day and age with a solid work ethic and honest concern for his significant other's well-being is a catch.

    Definitely find out WHAT he does (you want to make sure it's nothing shady at least :lol: ) but it shouldn't make a difference.
     
  7. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

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    I would have to agree with all the posters who said that at least he is doing an honest job. If he is a janitor and he is embarrassed to tell you, it is because there are close-minded people who does not respect his honest day (night in his case) work. I think that a janitor's job is a very important job and think where your place of employment would be your janitor was not there. You should look at him for who he is and NOT what he is.

    I would be concerned about him being reserved. Why is it that he is not opening up to you?
     
  8. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Let's all take a guess. I don't think he is a janitor at all. I think he is a waiter or bartender.
     
  9. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    I'm sure the 1st thought in our mind may be that the poster thinks a janitor is low on the totem pole, but it may not necessarily be so.
    Someone could post the same question asking if anyone would date a cop. Many may not because they're many times smug & egotistical & think they're beyond the law.
     
  10. Crzy_ArtTeacher

    Crzy_ArtTeacher Comrade

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    Don't judge a book by its cover. Right?


    A job doesn't define a person.....

    P.S. I have an electrician hubby, and like aliceacc said, he treats me right.
     
  11. 3Sons

    3Sons Enthusiast

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    If being sure is really your criteria, you're not going to be pursuing much with anybody. You can never actually be sure of anything in life.

    The question then becomes, how can you be sure enough that you're comfortable. That's not actually a question any of us can answer -- only you can answer that, because only you know your tolerance for uncertainty (of course, maybe even you don't know).

    Personally, I think I agree with Grammy that it doesn't actually sound all that likely that he is a janitor. You mention that he's an immigrant from a wartorn country; do you know his immigration status? Many undocumented immigrants (sorry for the PC-speak) are uncomfortable discussing their jobs, as many are paid under the table and often take jobs like waiting tables.

    If you're interested in finding someone on the fast track, my advice would be to find a university offering an Executive MBA program, preferably in the top 40 or so, and find out where they go for drinks. Then be generally friendly, don't ask them a single thing about money but learn to identify name brands of watches and shoes and how to tell high-quality clothing from low-quality, and loosen any requirements you have around whether their hair is thinning, their height, or other visual features. That will bring a different set of uncertainties, of course, but there are some decent human beings there.
     
  12. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    I had two thoughts about his job when I read the post.

    1. He is a bartender
    2. He is a member of the mafia
     
  13. daysy_may

    daysy_may Groupie

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    My husband started out as a janitor at a local winery, and now he's applying, (and we are crossing our fingers), for a job as a janitor with our state. Like others have said, these days we are thankful he has a job.
     
  14. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

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    As I read this thread, I realized I'm kind of the opposite of a lot of women-I think I would be intimidated if my dh had TOO good of a job. Dh currently works for an ad agency, and I already feel very out of place at his functions. The girls there are very hip and stylish, and the guys are super witty and intelligent. They know I taught, and they don't understand that world at ALL. Now that I am self-employed, I'm basically un-employed to them. They are all very nice, but there is a huge divide. In my heart I know I'm just as good, if not better, but it's still very intimidating.
     
  15. Teacher_Lyn

    Teacher_Lyn Companion

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    I'm not "looking down" on anyone Becky. I live in a part of the country where the average two bedroom apartment runs anywhere between 1300 - $2,000+ a month and the houses start at $500,000.

    So realistically speaking, I need someone who makes as much, if not more than me and/or has growth potential so that we can afford to have a lifestyle we are both comfortable with.
     
  16. Teacher_Lyn

    Teacher_Lyn Companion

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    You're misunderstanding me. Even if I were that sort of person who thinks I'm better than other people, I wouldn't be able to because he won't tell me what he does. In three months he's never mentioned it.
     
  17. 3Sons

    3Sons Enthusiast

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    :dizzy::dizzy::dizzy:

    You're a pink-haired entrepreneur! If a somewhat superficial three-word description about you screams style, independence, creativity, and drive then I don't think you ought worry one wit about those other women. My bet is they're all about as intimidated by you as your are of them.
     
  18. Kindergarten31

    Kindergarten31 Cohort

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    [/QUOTE]

    So realistically speaking, I need someone who makes as much, if not more than me and/or has growth potential so that we can afford to have a lifestyle we are both comfortable with.[/QUOTE]

    Gosh, I must be old-fashioned, behind the times or just plain simple. I would so rather have a janitor who loved me and treated me well and live in an affordable house, as opposed to someone in a high-powered job with growth potential so that I can afford a lifestyle I am comfortable with. I guess you can have both.
    I, too, married someone who was not in a "prestigious" job--he was(now retired) a grease monkey. Lots of people thought I married 'below' myself. We bought a small house, that we paid off years ago, travel all over the world, and are putting our son through college. On a teacher and mechanic's salary. Unfortunately, so many of the people that thought I married down, are divorced, or in bankruptcy, or are losing that big house that they couldn't afford to begin with. I 'm sorry that I got off on a rant, but I also have a problem with job snobs!!!:)
     
  19. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

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    Ha! Thanks, 3Sons. You gave me a boost of confidence going into this weekend (when I get to spend 48 hours with his work team while camping).
     
  20. deedee

    deedee Connoisseur

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    Master Pre-K had a whole thread on why she was looking for a Maintenance man or janitor to marry ..I cant find it but it was a list of al the great reasons why she wanted to find a janitor to marry.
     
  21. mollydoll

    mollydoll Connoisseur

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    If you want to know what he does, why don't you just ask him? You mention that he is from another country--different cultures consider different conversation topics important. Americans in general, for instance, spend a LOT more time talking about jobs/work/etc than Europeans do.

    If you hang out in an Irish pub, there will be conversations about all sorts of stuff, but it wouldn't necessarily be strange to never get around to talking about the jobs people have.

    Just ask already. I find this a good policy: if you want the answer to a question, ask the question! Save the games, beating around the bush and other annoying things.
     
  22. becky

    becky Enthusiast

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    That's got to be a risky job at times.
     
  23. becky

    becky Enthusiast

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    You must be near me, cause that's about how the prices are around here. And you don't get much house for that money, either.

    Well, all I can say is that I never got mixed up with a guy for his earning potential. I remember getting involved for the excitement of the moment, the gentleness of the guy's personality, and I once had a crush on a guy whose long, dark hair and Hawaiian good looks turned me into a puddle!:wub: Even with my husband, it was his 6'5", sandy blond haired self that I saw, not his then 18.00 per hour job.
     
  24. WaProvider

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    If your friend is from a different culture---then I don't find it odd at all that he isn't telling you what he does for a living, that his job doesn't match up to some of American images of what a job should be or that he lives at home. These are all things our culture uses to compare one another and to decide who is better off. Many of the individuals I have met from other cultures take the job that works in their life, in the situation they are currently in, and respects their values. They live with family until they have family of their own, or they live close to family. They have very close relationships to the people around them, and they seek others with the same view points. However, all of the individuals I know (and that is more than 10 but less than 10000), keep personal details hidden until they become important.

    I see no problem with dating him, I find my friends from other cultures amazingly interesting.
     
  25. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Are you kidding?? A man who knows how to clean??????????? Probably a muscle man too, because they have to do a lot of lifting and moving of heavy objects.

    Actually, I might not because it seems he is being evasive about his job. Sounds more like he might be a bouncer in a hotel bar.
     
  26. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Speaking of bouncers..could it be he's a bouncer in a strip club? I would think that somebody might not be entirely forthcoming to a new female friend about that particular job.
     
  27. glenn

    glenn Rookie

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    It does sound like he was calling from the hotel bar. He was on his lunch hour so his job could be anything from security to working as a night manger. The best way to find out is just to ask him.
     
  28. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    How to Marry for the Right Reasons
    By eHow Relationships & Family Editor
    Step 1

    Ignore social stigmas about age. Don't rush to get married, just because you are over a certain age, or because your biological clock is ticking. If you aren't married yet, it doesn't mean that something is wrong with you or that you will have no chance of getting married in the future.
    2.
    Step 2

    Recognize the difference between love and lust. Some singles get so wrapped up in the chemistry and sexuality of a relationship, that they forget to really look at the personality and character of the person that they plan to marry. This is especially true for couples that find themselves bored with the relationship outside of the bedroom.
    3.
    Step 3

    Learn to be alone. Marriage is not the cure to loneliness and will not make your life more meaningful. You cannot look for another person to complete you or make your feel satisfied with your life. You must find that for yourself before you enter into a marriage with the right person.
    4.
    Step 4

    Rely on yourself. Marrying someone to take care of you financially, socially or emotionally is a sure way to end up in divorce court.
    5.
    Step 5

    Leave children out of it. Getting married just because you are pregnant is not the right reason. It's unfair to children, to have parents who are together just for them. They may never completely understand the tension between Mom and Dad, however they will be affected by it.
     
  29. Cranmans

    Cranmans Rookie

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    One time my middle school LA teacher got pregant from a school janitor, what made it weird was that she just divorsed...so she ended up moving to the MS accross town.
     
  30. nattles19

    nattles19 Comrade

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    It sounds like this is being misinterpreted. Saying you wish to live a lifestyle you are comfortable with does not have to imply that you wish to live like a high roller. It might mean that you both prefer to live in the country, or a house instead of an apartment, or with one person staying home and not working.
     
  31. hdb2008

    hdb2008 Rookie

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    When I posted my comment I didn't mean that I thought you were that type of person...I just meant that in general I don't know why some people think their job is better than someone else's.

    I apologize that my comment implied I thought you were this type of person.
     
  32. hdb2008

    hdb2008 Rookie

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    There have been some very risky situations over the past 4 years that he has had his job. Thankfully, nothing major has happened to him.
     
  33. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Just wanted to clarify that my comment regarding the benefits of being a janitor was referring to school janitors...I forgot he worked at a hotel.
     
  34. Ms. I

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    Teacher Lyn, so do you plan to find out his job soon? I'm getting curious here myself! All I can think of off the top of my head besides janitor is:

    - events coordinator
    - bartender
    - waiter in a lively restaurant/bar
    - club/lounge bouncer in the hotel
    - maintenance/warehouse worker
    - hopefully not a stripper or exotic dancer! :woot:
     
  35. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    I'm confused after reading some of these responses. How do you know if he's a janitor if he won't tell you anything about his job?
     
  36. McKennaL

    McKennaL Groupie

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    My bets are still with a night manager at the hotel.


    As a grocery cashier who doesn't make half of that...and may be on food stamps in 2 months (the count-down is underway)... an $18.00an hour job would be heavenly right about now.

    (My kids don't know WHAT is about to hit them. They are going to have to start supporting themselves this summer.)

    So anyone with a sugar-daddy who earns $18.00 an hour and has a steady paycheck...send them this way.
     
  37. becky

    becky Enthusiast

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    Back in '90 it was 18.00. That's what I meant.
     
  38. McKennaL

    McKennaL Groupie

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    I KNOW... but $18.00 right NOW sounds good to me. I'm making $7.85
     
  39. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    McK-
    Sending you good thoughts. This economy is hitting hard on so many...:hugs:
     
  40. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    My husband does not have a college degree, but makes more than I do, and has a better job than I do. He is a manager of a department at a local community college. His work ethics proved to his employers that he was worth the investment.
     

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