Would you date a guy with THIS much baggage?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Teacher_Lyn, Feb 2, 2009.

  1. adventuresofJ

    adventuresofJ Comrade

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    Feb 5, 2009

    It worked for me - but then again my friends think highly of me and they did of my SO as well.

    If she does get set up by friends it will say alot about what they think of her.
     
  2. Teacher_Lyn

    Teacher_Lyn Companion

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    Feb 5, 2009

    aw Irish dave, you've made my day. :hugs:
     
  3. runsw/scissors

    runsw/scissors Phenom

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    Feb 5, 2009


    Quite simply put, NO. I don't care how nice the guy is, this would be just way too much for me. My answer was a firm no when I read #2, the rest is just additional reason to remain friends or cut the relationship off altogether (i.e. I was so attracted to him I didn't trust myslef to act rationally.)
     
  4. adventuresofJ

    adventuresofJ Comrade

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    I just remembered that my parents were separated for 4 years without getting divorced when they got back together. They've been together ever since.

    So no.. bad news.
     
  5. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Feb 6, 2009

    Again, get involved with activities that YOU enjoy! Raquetball, jogging, tennis, football games, take a night class, go to a church with a group of people around your age, or a small Bible study, - whatever, get involved in something that is going to make you happy and more interesting, and you will be meeting people with those same interests. Walking cold into a group like in a club or party scene- that would make my blood run cold too! Get involved with some group activities and you will start meeting people. Think of the kind of guy you would like to meet. Take some action to get yourself out among people and I think things will look up for you! Even if you are shy, once you have been in the group for a while you will be able to relax and open up.

    Married guy - no future there girl! If he was into you, he would drop the wife like a hot potatoe. Plus, why can't he get a job to cover his own health insurance??? That is what a man does! He doesn't depend on someone else to take care of him.

    I understand you are strongly attracted to him, but if you let yourself get carried away you are going to get crushed. :( Then you will be right back where you are right now only hurt. Go out there and meet some people and you will find someone who is self-sufficient and strong. Wow!
     
  6. Weazy

    Weazy Comrade

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    Feb 7, 2009

    Excellent advice, Bonne!
     
  7. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Feb 8, 2009

    Do not act on the feelings. You are both probably in very vulnerable situations. Put it in perspective... reread what you wrote and ask yourself what advice you would offer if a friend had written it? I bet you would say run for the hills.
     
  8. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Feb 8, 2009

    Hey, MissFrizz!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  9. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

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    My friend moved over 3 hours to be with her legally married but 4 years separeted boyfriend. He also had 2 children and worked part time during the winter (he did landscaping in the summer to supplement his income) even though he heavily in debt. She just recently broke up with him b/c after 1.5 years b/c he was no closer to divorcing his ex. He wouldn't even phone a lawyer...
     
  10. DallasTeacher

    DallasTeacher Companion

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    Feb 8, 2009

    Call me old-fashioned, but married men or women don't "date" or "hang" with anyone of the opposite sex except their spouse. I don't go for the "insurance" purposes only, can't afford, etc. The ties have not been broken and I'd run like HE**.

    As far as your "friends with benefits" statement -- HE is MARRIED. Why would you allow yourself to be used in that manner? It places you in the role of the "other" woman. In this day of spreading STDs and AIDS, the benefits you receive may last a lifetime.
     
  11. Teacher_Lyn

    Teacher_Lyn Companion

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    Feb 9, 2009

    Ms. F -
    Don't need to take a magic school bus trip into someone elses' shoes to see the truth in that! you're right. i am NOT going to talk to this guy as anything more than a friend. plus, as time is going on, i don't even feel like he likes me that way which is probably for the best
     
  12. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Feb 9, 2009

    Good for you!

    I think it is so great that one can get such good advice on this forum even for personal issues! As you can see by the strong reactions, people here don't want to see you hurt. The longer one lives, the more one learns, and many of us on here have been hurt in situations and hopefully, some who are facing similar decisions can learn from our mistakes and not get hurt or take a wrong turn in life. We want you to be happy and you sound like a nice and intelligent person!
     
  13. Teacher_Lyn

    Teacher_Lyn Companion

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    Feb 10, 2009

    :hugs: Thank you Bonne. I know we're complete strangers, but it means a lot to me. I love this forum because I can be totally open here and I feel like people really care.
     

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