Wondering what you guys think? I was totally floored today!

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by txmomteacher2, Dec 9, 2010.

  1. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Connoisseur

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    Dec 9, 2010

    I have a co workers child in my class. We have bumped heads a few times about minor stuff. Mostly about her daughter's reading level and what books she should be reading for AR. For the most part I have given in and she reads the higher level books although she is not quite as successful as I would like her to be. We have lunch from 11:45-12:30. Her Mom teaches another grade level and they have lunch from 12:15-1:00. On several occassions she has taken her daughter to her room from 12:15 until whenever she sends her back. I have never said anything to her about this, because really we don't do a lot of instruction time from 12:30-1:00 because we are coming back from recess and we do drinks and bathroom in the class. It usually takes about 15 minutes to get the kids in and settled. So if we have things to work on we finish it up or read for AR time. Anyway today she says to me I'm keeping her until 1:00. My response to her was (and it would be for any parent) lunch is over at 12:30. She got mad and went to our principal who she met in the hallway. I don't know what was said but she came to my door demanding that I give her her daughters jacket and back pack. I told her she could come in and get it. In the process she takes folders out that her daughter needs. So I follow her in to the hall way and tell her she needs them to do her homework. The daughter turns like she is going to come get the folder and the Mom turns to her and says, " You don't need to listen to her, she means nothing to you." I was completely floored. At my conference time I go ask my principal what was going on and he informs me that she was pulling her kid not only out of my class but out of school. So my question to you is "have you ever had to deal with coworkers as parents in your class and how did you handle the situation.? Did you give their kids special privilages? Did you treat them any different than the other kids in your class?
     
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  3. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Wow. That is totally unprofessional! We have several teacher's kids in other classrooms. Our P made a huge deal that we were to remain professional in our correspondence with teachers....we wear two hats, he said, the teacher hat and the parent hat, but we need to remember to remain professional. Looks like this parent needs to hear this.
     
  4. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

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    I've had children of both teachers and administrators. I'ts never been an issue. A few times the parent at work was "teacher" at work, and the other parent was "parent". We had to call the other parent for issues with the child.

    No, they really don't get any special treatment. Naturally some things are different just because of the situation, but it's not the types of things you mention. It's things like they're allowed in the building after dismissal or earlier in the morning than the other kids . . . but that's because they don't ride busses like the other kids.
     
  5. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    I have had all sorts of children in my class throughout the years, from teachers and administrators to embassy officials and congressmen. One year I even had the young children of Joe Theisman. (That's how old I am)! I have never had any of these parents use anything other than complete professionalism. We once had a child's bodyguard stay with us all year and he was more polite than anyone I have ever known! So, it is obvious that you are better off without that teacher's child in your class, unfortunately for the child.
    Does that silly teacher realize that now she won't be able to see her daughter at all during the day?????
     
  6. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    Wow! Good riddance (to the "parent") I say.
     
  7. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    I have several teacher's kids in my class. Never had anything like this. This is unreal.
     
  8. DallasTeacher

    DallasTeacher Companion

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    I've had co-worker, admin, and even superintendents' children with no problems. I make it clear that all students are expected to be treated equally. You should be happy not to deal with that co-worker. My only advice to you is that in the future do not allow students to miss class time - instructional or not. The child should have been in your room when lunch was over, no special treatment.
     
  9. INteacher

    INteacher Aficionado

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    WOW . . WOW . . . :dizzy:
     
  10. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    There's more to this story than she's letting on to you about.

    There must be a reason why she wanted her daughter with her at lunch-- something is going on at home and for whatever reason, she chose not to tell you about it.

    Obvious question: is she planning to continue working there?
     
  11. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    Hmmm, well, even if there is something going on at home, what could pulling her daughter out of, not only the class but the school, possibly solve? Unless there was an incident that took place at the school, moving your child out midyear seems so harsh.

    But, I'm sure your right Alice in that there must be more to this story.
     
  12. gigi

    gigi Groupie

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    I have had co-workers children, friends children and once ended up with my own :p (for a short period of time), and I never experienced this. I agree with Alice, something else is going on.
     
  13. ~mrs.m~

    ~mrs.m~ Comrade

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    Lots of coworkers kids in my class and never any experience remotely like that. She sounds unstable, to say the least. I know it leaves you feeling upset, but it is really out of your control. I was wondering what else your principal may have said.
     
  14. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

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    Huge hugs! I have my director's son. I walk on egg shells. I def. do not talk to her about behavior, as I would other parents, even though he is not well behaved at all. I know there would be nothing done, and I'm not going to enter that political firestorm. I made the mistake of mentioning him in an incident e-mail to another director-simple documentation-and received wicked backlash for that.

    Alice is right-I had a parent in the past literally scream at me after I asked her daughter to pick up her books from the floor. There were def. other issues, but the parent chose to take them out on me. When people are irrational, you just have to remind yourself that it's not you, as hard as that can be.
     
  15. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Dec 11, 2010

    I've taught lots of the kids of my coworkers and of administration.

    I'm currently teaching the daughter of one of my coworkers. Amanda really struggles in math, so that keeps it interesting.

    But it's never been anything but professional. If I ever have to talk to Amanda's mom about her grades, I'll stop by her classroom after school with a "have a minute?" attitude.
     
  16. redskinmom

    redskinmom Rookie

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    Wow! I agree with the others, there's obviously more going on. But it doesn't appear to be about you. Just let it go and continue on a professional relationship with the co-worker. I've had several teacher's children, thankfully never dealt with anything like this.
     
  17. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

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    The good part is that it sounds like the principal must have backed you up or the teacher wouldn't be pulling the child from the school, as well. She sounds unstable and has probably lost the support of the administration by her unprofessionalism.
     
  18. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    I've taught most of the school board members' children with no problems...I currently have 2 'board kids' in my room. Our board is quite good and doesn't get personally over-involved with parents...I maintain a good professional relationship with them.
     
  19. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Connoisseur

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    Well she did take her child out of school. I heard that I am not the only one who has had issues with her. I know last year she had issues with the teacher across the hallway from me and the funny thing is I backed her up 100%. The teacher across from me was WAY!!!! out of line. That was one of the reasons why she put her daughter in my class, plus we had worked well together with some other students that we both had. Anyway I am still totally shocked at the way she handled things all year when it came to issues with her daughter. Don't know if she will be coming back next year or even if she comes back after the holidays.
     
  20. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    Wow-that is strange. I think I even go the opposite direction, even tougher when it comes to following the rules with staff kids to make sure it's an even playing field and I've never had anyone complain (to my face anyway). They have to stay with me at dismissal, not go run to their parents. I won't have conferences in the hallway or at recess, although they do try. Last year during summer school one of our new teachers let some of the staff kids play on the playground during dismissal-I didn't think it was fair to the rest of the students, besides no one was over there watching them. The child I had in my class (an admin's daughter) took off after her sister. I called her back and asked her where she was going. Nope, sorry. My students are all waiting over here-her mom actually thanked me for that.

    I wouldn't take it personally. I'm sure as a teacher she wouldn't have wanted a child to be removed from class so often to eat lunch with a parent either.
     
  21. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    ALL I can say is wow
     
  22. XOEmmyLouOX

    XOEmmyLouOX Rookie

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    That mom has issues that have nothing to do with you.. Good luck to the next teacher that has to deal with her..
     
  23. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    Dec 12, 2010

    I've had teacher's kids along with principals', supervisors', and school nurse's kids. I have never had an issue until this year. I have a grandmother who teaches 2nd at our school. She expects special privelages for her grandchild. Not small ones, like letting him go to her to get his blue folder signed, but major ones like taking tests over and getting away with causing trouble. What makes it worse, is that my co-worker across the hall is best friends with her and tells her everything that goes on. So, if D gets in trouble for anything before the day is over, grandmother will either be at my door telling me it's not his fault or at the principal's office complaining. An example of how far she goes with him: This past week we've all been bringing in treats for each other. Friday, a co-worker had created a platter of fudge, cookies, etc. D wanted some (he's not even supposed to be in the work room) so his grandmother let him go open the platter (no one had gotten anything) and he took two handfuls of stuff. So, sometimes you do get a rotten apple in what is normally a wonderful barrel of apples.
     
  24. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    (TxMom: I sent you a PM)

    This is exactly why I am not a big fan of teacher's being allowed to have their children attend the school they work at. I think there should be some sort of rules, regulations or something. Teachers can be some of the worse parents.

    This woman was COMPLETELY out of line. As the teacher, what you say goes (within reason of course). As long as you are not endangering the child, then the parents are to entrust you with their care and your decisions.

    I once taught the child of a coworker and it was NOT a good experience. Whenever the child got in trouble, the coworker was in my room complaining, or, like ChristyF said, at the P's office complaining.

    The child used to throw daily tantrums in my room whenever she didn't get her way. I got tired of dealing with it and her mom wasn't helping, so I finally sent the child to the guidance counselor. The parent got ANGRY and told me I should have sent the child to HER room and let HER deal with it.

    Um...it was during class hours, which means the parent had a class. Another time I kept her child in for recess because she was hitting another child and the parent got angry and reported me to the P because I didn't keep the other child in for recess too.

    I explained to the parent that I was watching HER child take a desk and shove it into the other child's stomach even though the other child kept saying to stop.

    The parent insisted her baby was innocent and told her daughter she didn't have to miss her recess anymore if I took it.

    The parent also used to not allow the child certain privledges at home if the child did not earn a star sticker at the end of the day, then get mad at ME and say,"You know my child didn't get to watch t.v. today because YOU didn't give her a star sticker" or "My child was crying last night because she didn't go to girl scouts because YOU didn't give her a star sticker. I pay dues for girlscouts. You are making me waste my money." :mad:
     
  25. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    When My son was at my school, his home room was a little under 50 ft from my room. I got along with all the teachers on his team but one, :( he was no angel :angel: but this one teacher did not understand one iota about ADHD kids, it got to the point that the principal was the go between for us. A few times my son would come to me wanting me to intercede but I supported that teacher :( well at midyear she took maternity leave :celebrate: and the LTS was fantastic (she had a ADHD son) he started to like Social Studies again.:). bad apples come on both sides
    When he got in trouble I would go to the teacher (any teacher) and find out how bad it was so I could discipline him at home. I never had to back up the PE teacher he an I had the same mindset so if I knew he got in trouble in PE (I didn't need to follow up) my son almost never got in trouble in PE :) I guess it takes knowing your child. My ex wife got mad at me when my son earned only a "B" in my class she said "You'd think you'd get an "A" with your dad being the teacher"
     
  26. Joyful!

    Joyful! Habitué

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    What an unpleasant experience for you and for the child. Can you imagine how embarrassed the child must have been to have mom act so strangely in front of all the peers? Can you imagine how displaced the child must have felt to have had to switch schools on the spur of the moment? Poor kid.

    I have dealt with parents/co-workers. In the beginning of the school year, I set up boundaries for both of us to allow good communication to flourish and to allow the parent the same access that other parents have. We always establish what is an acceptable time to speak about their students at school, what we will say to switch from co-workers to parent and teacher. We establish when I would contact them about poor behavior and when I would deal with it in class. Once the ground rules are established, then we have a clear set of guidelines that allow both of us to do our jobs and that allow them to be parents as needed. It has been very successful and has allowed my students to benefit.

    It sounds like this lady would not have been able to follow any guidelines. Comments like "She's nothing to you" are beyond the pale. She lacks common decency and good grace. As she destroys your authority, she destroys her own. How pathetic.
     
  27. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    Both of my children attended school in my district. In fact, I taught my son in reading in the 2nd grade. I try hard to stay out of their rooms and not to make waves. My son had a teacher that would come tell me every little thing he did...he talked in class, he hit someone with a ball at recess, he didn't finish his work before PE, you get the picture...after about a month, I went to the principal and told him that I was tired of her being in my room everyday during my teaching time telling me every little thing he did. My principal had a meeting with us both. She explained that she didn't want others to tell on him, so she was telling me first. I told her that if she wouldn't call another parent about it, DON'T CALL ME! My principal then told her only to call my husband and to stay out of my hallway. She was one of my son's favorite teachers and she was great for him.

    I had three teachers' children in my class one year. It was fine, but only dealt with the non teacher parent. That worked best for us.
     
  28. knitter63

    knitter63 Groupie

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    I've been requested by parents-many of whom are involved in PTA. I've never experienced anything like that. I know that a coworkers child will be in our grade level next year, and I personally don't want her. The parent is very protective, and I would rather avoid any potential problems.
     
  29. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Connoisseur

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    Side note: Today there was a musical program for the grade level that she teaches. My daughter just happens to be in that grade so I took my kids to watch. She couldn't even look at me. She did everything she could to avoid contact with me. Ughhh! I say, "Man up and be a professional. I am teacher, your a teacher we might have to one day actually talk. I don't care you took your kid out of our school. It's your decision silly as it might be. Your kid and you are the one that is going to suffer in the long run! Not me!"
     
  30. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

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    What are the other teachers and principal saying about this teacher?
     
  31. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Connoisseur

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    Well here are some new twists to the story. Found out the teacher is pregnant. So hormones are surely part of this. AND today my principal stops me in the hallway to tell me the daughter wlll be coming back to school tomorrow and that he is putting her in another teacher's class and he hopes I won't be offended.
     
  32. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

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    Let's hope it was the hormones...:whistle: Are you upset that her daughter will not be returning to your class?
     
  33. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Well, I hope it was the hormones! and I'm sorta glad the child won't be coming back...now the parent/teacher is someone else's problem.
     
  34. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Connoisseur

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    Jan 3, 2011

    Not upset at all!!!
     

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