Women: Did you ever go through a phase where...

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by DrivingPigeon, Dec 13, 2009.

  1. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

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    ...you REALLY wanted to have a baby?

    I don't want to rush my life or anything, but lately I feel like I really want a baby lately! I have a few friends who have had babies in the past month, and I find myself having dreams about their babies, and about myself being pregnant.

    I've always wanted kids, but I've never felt this baby-crazy! My maternal clock is just going all haywire or something...I'll be 28 in a few months, but my boyfriend is only 23 and doesn't want anything to do with kids yet.

    Sometimes when I think about the fact that I don't have children yet, I get really bummed out. :( It's like this void that hasn't been filled yet.
     
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  3. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I got married at 30, and adopted Brian when I was 40. I gave birth to the girls when I was 42 and 45 respectively.

    Your boyfriend is only 23. I say give the relationship some time. And OK, I'll say it-- why not consider marriage before having kids?
     
  4. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    I would love to have a baby--to hold and cuddle and give back. But I am over 50.
     
  5. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

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    Yes, there was definitely a time right before I turned 30 that I felt the clock ticking - and 4 1/2 years later I had 3 kids!
     
  6. zoey'smom

    zoey'smom Cohort

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    I was about 28 or 29 so and single when I really started to think about having a baby. I was starting to think it would not happen. My friends were having babies and I was like you I started dreaming about babies. I was married when I was thirty and a year later my daughter Zoey was born.
     
  7. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

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    I had a few friends who had babies at the beginning of the year, and I spent some time watching my cousin's newborn. After that, I was having dreams about it and really wanting a baby, too (and I'm single and only 24!). It was really strange because I've always wanted kids and looked forward to having babies, but never felt my maternal clock "kicked into overdrive" like that.

    After a few weeks, it went away...
     
  8. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

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    No, I definitely won't have a baby before I'm married (at least not on purpose)!
     
  9. scienceteach82

    scienceteach82 Cohort

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    I was like that...then bc failed...and now I am 16 weeks pregnant with twin girls...crazy!

    I'm 27...and always wanted to be married and have a kid by this time in my life...things just happen differently.

    Your bf is still a bit young...sometimes it can take a while for the family thing to set in his mind.
     
  10. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    I'm with blue...I want a baby to hold and cuddle...and give back to his or her mother. I had my babies when I was pretty young...23, 25 and 26, so I can't relate to having a biological clock going into overdrive. My husband and I both wanted kids, but we were planning on waiting a year after the wedding, but I got pregnant after only a few months.
     
  11. newbie87

    newbie87 Comrade

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    Nobody in my circle is having babies, or had one yet. None of my friends are 30, yet. I'll tell you, since I turned about 20, I'm 22 now, I really WANT a baby. I've always wanted to be a wife and a sahm, though. So, not The saddest part is my boyfriend has told me he doesn't want kids. I hope no one judges me badly, because I would never do it, but a part of me wants to get pregnant from him and just leave him. The only thing stopping me is I don't have a job, and if I did I think I would feel bad. So, yeah, I really want one more than I do a boyfriend apparently. :(
     
  12. Kangaroo22

    Kangaroo22 Virtuoso

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    I'm single and think about having a baby all of the time. I know that this isn't the stage in my life to have a baby and that I have a lot of time (I'm 24), but I still think about having kids.
     
  13. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    I never had that feeling before I got pregnant. I got pregnant at 23. I got pg a 2nd time when I was 26 (we lost her). I've noticed lately that I have that feeling of wanting to be pg again, but that won't happen because I have too many problems so we're seriously looking at adoption at this time.
     
  14. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I was 30 when my son was born. He just turned 19 and I can't imagine him becoming a father any time soon. My children are the greatest blessing in my life, but I don't think I would have been ready had I been much younger.
     
  15. Maryhf

    Maryhf Connoisseur

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    There is nothing more special than having a baby with someone who wants it as much as you do and who is committed to being with you and the baby for at least the next 18 years. Patience. It's worth the wait.
     
  16. 1st-yr-teacher

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    This thread has actually made me feel better. I am 28 and single. All I have ever wanted was to get married, have children, and teach. I completed one of those goals. I have been feeling like my biological clock is ticking but I know that can not happen without a husband. I always thought that I would have three kids by now. :) I guess the good Lord has different plans for me. I just keep reminding myself to be patient.
     
  17. MuggleBug

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    I think about it constantly. Every time I see a photo of a baby or a commercial my heart aches because I want one so much. I have a few friends that had babies this past year and I see their photos on FB and get a little jealous.

    My husband originally was happy to start trying after the New Year but he's since changed his mind and wants to wait another year. :( I respect his decision to want to wait but I admit there was a good solid week when I was just so depressed and cried over it (not when he was around) because I was so looking forward to it.
     
  18. Chrissteeena

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    I've thought about having a baby. I know that we (my bf and I) are not ready yet, we are both 23 and even though we are happy where we are now- we would break financially with a kid. We both want to be married first and have stable jobs (mine isn't that stable, and he is in a MA program and we aren't sure if he will have a job at graduation time in May). The thought crosses my mind a lot though. More after I saw my goddaughter... I took care of her for most of the day and I was like... I can handle this. I have the thought more than he does even though he talks about it. It may be because I came from a gigantic family and I'm the oldest, and he is an only child. In time.

    I say don't push it if he isn't ready. Give him time.
     
  19. MissFroggy

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    I'm 32 and have some serious baby fever... we're just not ready yet for lots and lots of reasons.
     
  20. Ms. I

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    I'm 34 & have no desire yet really believe it or not. But then, I'm not married yet either. Maybe if I had been married 2 or 3 yrs, I would feel ready by now.
     
  21. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    For some reason, When I was around 19-20, I really wanted a kid. I mean, I wouldn't have had one - I was in college. But I thought about it a lot. Then my mom had my little sister and I guess that was enough to appease me for awhile. Then I went to the other extreme, that I didn't really want kids at all. Now DBF and I talk about having kids and it is nice but I am not super eager to get started yet.
     
  22. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

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    I'm 34. I don't want to have children. My husband is 43, and he doesn't want to have children.

    If we get baby-fever we'd probably adopt. But, I don't predict that happening.
     
  23. Crzy_ArtTeacher

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    I've wanted children since I was a young age, and like you too silverspoon I wanted children when I was college-aged. Now at 24 my SO and I are expecting and we are over the moon with excitement. We wanted a child while we were in our young 20's because I grew up that way and loved having parents on the younger side. I'm glad I waited until when I did because if I had followed through I would be attached to a man that wasn't right for me. I needed the extra couple years, the steady job, and our house to truly feel ready. Plus, we practiced with a puppy for a couple of years... that put off my baby urge for a little bit :)
     
  24. GoehringTeaches

    GoehringTeaches Comrade

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    I was never one of those women that her goal was to grow up, get married, and make babies. In fact, when I was married to my first husband, I did everything under the sun to make sure I wouldn't get pregnant. I just knew I couldn't handle having a child with him. We got divorced and my new husband already had two boys. I loved him so much and wanted to have a kid with him so bad....He had a vasectomy reversal in April for me, for us, for our baby and IT WORKED! Now I am expecting my first little one in April and can't believe how much of a miracle it was. I really didn't want a kid until I thought I couldn't. Then I wanted one uber-bad! lol Things always seem to work that way.
     
  25. maya5250

    maya5250 Comrade

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    I will be turning 28 in 2 weeks. I am panicking a little bit because I am at a "crossroad" with my life. I didn't expect to be still single and be in college at this age. I am working on accepting this. Only recently (1-2 years) have I been thinking about wanting a child.

    Growing up, I never wanted to have kids because I was the oldest of 5 kids. I saw my parents struggle to support us. Plus, my siblings drove me nuts. I am 5 years older than the next to oldest sister. My siblings are closer in age amongst themselves. It took me moving out of my home and attending college for 10-11 years for me to be mature enough to want to have kids.

    At the moment, I really want to have children. However, being single, I don't want to have a child unless I have a supporting partner to share the responsibilities. It did cross my mind to be a single mom by choice and go the AI route. But after doing research on the topic, I realize that I don't have the right personality and stamina to raise a child on my own by choice. I have a lot of respect for single moms. It's a tough job.

    Luckily there is no pressure from my parents to provide grand babies.
     
  26. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    I wanted kids since I can rmember. I was always the kid that "took" care of babies & they loved me. So I've always wanted them. We waited for a few yrs while married.

    I know my cousin babysat my lil one to help her get her "baby" fix. It worked well for both of us. She could give baby back & she got that "fix" she need a few times a week!!!
     
  27. Jem

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    I get baby crazy for a few days/week, and then it goes away. The last time hit over Thanksgiving. Now it's the last thing on my mind.
     
  28. lilmisses1014

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    Shortly after I was married, at 24, I wanted a baby badly. It's hard to explain, but it was as though I could physically feel the urge to get pregnant.... weird. Now that I'm teaching? HECK NO! My husband definitely wants children, but I'm still kind of on the fence. So many friends of mine had babies recently, but it had no impact on me. I mean, I LOVE babies, but I'm so happy I can give them back to their parents. :D
     
  29. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    ...but as parent, you are going to have to consider what is best for your child. A child who is unwanted by one of the parents is starting off life with strikes against. The ONLY thing stopping you is that you don't have a job? Think again...not for yourself, but for your future children.
     
  30. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I've never particularly looked forward to having children, yet growing up I assumed I would have children anyhow because that's life...grow up, get married, have babies, die. Obviously that's the simplified summary of life, and clearly not of everyone's, but that's what I thought my future was destined to look like. Not that's that bad, mind you, but...anyhow. I realized several years ago that--gasp!--I didn't have to have children if I didn't want to, if I didn't feel it was something I should do. So I didn't and I won't. But don't misunderstand me, I'm human. And I'm passing up the opportunity to experience the most fascinating human event. I worry that one day I will regret it, and that is quite the heavy burden. It's scary. There are many reasons I have chosen to not have children, but sometimes I think I've just thought about it too much...over-analyzed it. Sometimes I wish I would have accidently gotten pregnant so I wouldn't have to make the decision. I think that if that had been the case I would be a very happy and a very good mother. I've discussed this before on here and I'm sure I never make much sense, but it's complicated...so I understand where you're coming from. I am twenty-seven, by the way. So I'm not just facing my heart, but my biological urges as well. I will share that since adopting my dog, who is absolutely my child to an unhealthy degree, that I feel quite fulfilled.
     
  31. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    That's no reason to stay with anyone.

    You both deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you.
     
  32. newbie87

    newbie87 Comrade

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    I know it's a bad thing and I think it over and decided against it, but I keep thinking about it. Does that make sense? I think it's just I want one so badly. I guess, I feel hurt someone I love doesn't want to have a baby with me. :(
     
  33. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Having a baby with someone isn't like going to a movie, out to dinner or on vacation with someone. It isn't something that someone should do just because the person they love wants to. Having a baby will change your life forever; you will be totally responsible for that dear little soul for their whole life. I understand your yearning, but having a baby isn't something to guilt someone into.
     
  34. newbie87

    newbie87 Comrade

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    No, I don't want to guilt him into it. I just wonder why doesn't he want to with me. Like is there something wrong with me? I guess it's hard for me, because I want it so much and he doesn't.
     
  35. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    It probably isn't you, it's just that he doesn't feel ready to enter the "parent" stage of his life yet.
     
  36. reverie

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    I think some people just don't want that responsibility. If you have a child, you'll be tied together and to the child for the rest of your lives. Maybe consider finding someone that has the same life goals as you (i.e. someone who wants a child eventually too).

    Edit: Also, does he not want to have a baby at all or just not at this time in his life? That makes a difference.
     
  37. newbie87

    newbie87 Comrade

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    I think not at all, because he's always telling me how he hates kids.
     
  38. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Then it's all about how he feels and you won't be able to change that.

    You have to decide which is more important to you: eventually becoming a mom or staying with this man. Because something that fundamental is unlikely to change.
     
  39. dizzykates

    dizzykates Habitué

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    I've got baby fever, but so far no baby. I've always wanted to stay at home after we have kids, but we know that with the economy how it is I need to work if we ever plan to move out of our townhouse. Not a lot of people in our circle are having babies though so I would say that's not a pressure on us yet. I'm 26, DH is 31.
     
  40. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    You are studying to be a teacher, you want to have a child eventually and you are dating a man who hates kids....sounds like a disconnect to me.
     

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