Why do people comment about other people's weight?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by TennisPlayer, May 18, 2009.

  1. TennisPlayer

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    May 18, 2009

    I've been walking a lot lately, have a high metabolism, and eat mostly healthy foods. I have lost some weight and have noticed it in my pants/shorts.

    This morning I was substituting at a school I've been at before so the office ladies know me but one commented about how skinny I am even though I don't think I'm that skinny to deserve a comment and don't want to be "that skinny" either! I didn't say thanks or anything because I was a little caught off guard with how to respond so I just smiled and went on my way.
     
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  3. ecsmom

    ecsmom Habitué

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    :lol:I would love a skinny compliment!
     
  4. TennisPlayer

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    I know, I know, it seems better if someone says "you look great !" instead of skinny because it sound like I don't eat or something! lol.
     
  5. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    One time, after I lost about 30 lbs, some woman at work said OMG you're wasting away! Give me a break lady! Even if I was it's none of your beeswax :p
     
  6. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    I know how you feel though. I am very overweight - I need to lose about 50% of my body weight. But when I start losing, I have heard people tell me I am getting skinny. I am definitely not skinny.

    On the other hand, I have gone out walking to lose weight, and have had people in cars yell things at me about my weight. When I am trying to lose it! Who are these people?

    When I was diagnosed with sleep apnea too, one of the busybody assistant principals in my school pulled me aside and started talking to me about my weight. It was so awkward and inappropriate.
     
  7. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I think that, as poorly as it's done, it's frequently meant as a compliment.

    Today I complimented a coworker on the change in her haircolor. I didn't meant to imply that there was anything wrong with the old color, just that the new color looked nice.

    I rarely mention weight, since I never seem to notice when people lose a bit, (and I KNOW it's awkward to mention when someone loses a LOT.) But I don't think that anyone means much by the mention.
     
  8. TennisPlayer

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    Speaking of weight, over the weekend, we saw one of my husband's former co-workers. Even though it's been a few years since they've seen each other, the other guy started out by saying "Hi, etc etc, you've gained some weight"!

    People don't need to hear things about their weight unless they ask for feedback/help, etc. It's not like people can change in an instant!
     
  9. oldfashioned

    oldfashioned Comrade

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    I agree with Alice that usually it's simply meant as friendly small talk, no different than if someone said your blouse or haircut was becoming. Even though it's often uncomfortable to hear (I don't like to hear any comments about my weight), I try to remember that the comment was probably not meant critically or to pry, but simply to compliment. Of course people should be more tactful, but so many of us (myself included) are to some degree socially challenged.
     
  10. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I understand. I think it's simply unnecessary. People are more apt to comment on something physical about you, good or bad, than your actions. Intended kindly or not, can't we just push those comments to the back of our tongues? I understand we are visual creatures, but...well, I digress.
     
  11. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Weight comments are so personal. They're not like comments about a fun shirt or a nice hairdo. I think that weight-related comments are generally awkward. The one exception I can think of is when the comments come from our very close friends, from whom we would probably accept a variety of comments about a variety of topics, even otherwise off-limits ones. :lol:

    I'm fairly overweight and I work really hard to lose weight. Every time I lose enough to get noticed, I get a few comments. While I understand that the people saying them are just trying to be nice, I still get really uncomfortable. I'd honestly prefer that they don't say anything at all. And by all means if they do say something, I hope it's in private and not in front of others!
     
  12. deedee

    deedee Connoisseur

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    One thing I always think when someone comments about weight is ...if this is the first time you said somehting about weight what are you thinking before that you dont say...:eek: Leave it alone haha

    I say weight is like belly buttons (much like opinions) ..everyone has it and they are all different ..so why comment :haha:
     
  13. MissFroggy

    MissFroggy Aficionado

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    I have a guy at work who always says "don't they feed you at home?"

    Yes, I have lost weight, but no, I don't look like I am anywhere near starving. I eat too much chocolate for that. It embarrasses me a lot, but I know it's his way of complimenting me.
     
  14. Ms. I

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    Society in general views physical appearance very highly, whether we like it or not. So when someone says, "You look like you've lost weight!" OR "You're so skinny now!" OR something to that effect, people think of it as a positive comment, not a negative/degrading one.

    Not that I want to necessarily look skinny, as in skin & bones, but if someone said I look SKINNY, I'd just say thank you & go on w/ whatever I was doing. I'd know in my own mind that I'm not skin & bones or anything, so that's all that matters.

    It's better than them saying something like, "Woah, you look so much better than you did before!" (You'd be thinking, "Uhhh, thanks, I guess!")


    :)
     
  15. Dzenna

    Dzenna Groupie

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    Or worse yet, and truthfully, "Oh you've gained weight."
     
  16. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

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    Well, I went on a business trip with a bunch of coworkers from all over the country. Then like 2 years later, right after I came back from maternity leave for having my twins, I ran into one of the guys. He stared at me for like 5 seconds and said, "Oh My Gawd, What Happened?!"

    Hmph.
     
  17. Ms. I

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    I can't believe what nerve some people have! I'd NEVER in a million yrs say something like that. Whatever happened to common sense & if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all?!
     
  18. TeacherShelly

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    THANK you, Ms. I! I should have said, "I just smacked you," while hitting him across his smart mouth. Hahaha!
     
  19. MissWull

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    I think it's because it's a noticeable change especially if you don't see these people on a normal basis.

    She probably thought she was being nice because obviously people would appreciate a skinny comment as opposed to the opposite.
     
  20. becky

    becky Enthusiast

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    Silverspoon, I know exactly what you're talking about. A big hug to you, from one plus sized gal to another!:hugs:

    Once I was working out in my front yard, butt facing the street. I should have known better. A car stops in traffic in front of my house, and the one guy in the car says to the other, 'Now THAT'S a big a**!' It's none of their concern how big my a** is! They couldn't get any of this if they paid me for it!
    I'm sorry, but it steams me up when I think of how rude people are to overweight people. It's the last accepted prejudice.
     
  21. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    I totally agree.

    Although one day while I was out walking, I had a guy pull over one a side street, get out and walk up to me and ask me if I was single because he saw me walking and thought I was beautiful and wanted to meet me. Well, I was and am taken, but that really made my day, and made up for all the negative comments I heard while walking.
     
  22. becky

    becky Enthusiast

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    OMG, Silverspoon! That could have gotten dangerous quick! I'm glad it made you feel good, though.
     
  23. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Oh great. Today I told my mentor she looked great and asked if she lost more weight. She said only two pounds. But she really does look wonderful. She has lost I believe over 100 pounds so far.
     
  24. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

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    Jaime, tell her I think I found some of the weight she lost. Send address and I'll ship it back free of charge ;)
     
  25. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    LOL Shelly. She has been working really hard eating right and exercising. I'm so proud of her. She shares her successes and her gains with us.
     

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