Why are we so hard on each other?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by CanukTeacher, Nov 12, 2009.

  1. CanukTeacher

    CanukTeacher Comrade

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    I find teachers really hard on each other. Teachers seem so quick to point out how other teachers are making mistakes, doing things the wrong way, etc. I find it very frustrating.

    On the other hand, I also find how subjective it is frustrating because when there is a MAJOR issue bringing it up can leave the first (innocent) teacher getting criticized because the easiest way to avoid critical feedback is to be critical yourself. So when, for example, our support teacher tries to talk to other teachers about something they are doing that is impacting her ability to do her job other teachers come up with bogus complaints about her.
     
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  3. SwOcean Gal

    SwOcean Gal Devotee

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    Nov 12, 2009

    I'm sorry, I do not have anything to add, but just sending you some virtual :hugs:! Your support teacher could use some too! Maybe you could put together a tiny tea basket for her to show your appreciation and support of her?
     
  4. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    Interesting question, CanukTeacher: let's see what the community comes up with.
     
  5. CanukTeacher

    CanukTeacher Comrade

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    Nov 12, 2009

    Ocean

    I'm not talking about me specifically. I think it is a general "thing" in education. What made me think about it was the thread about dumb things other teachers have done. I have just found in my first 5 years that teachers seem pretty quick to judge each other.
     
  6. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I think people are just quick to judge--period. When I worked at Wal-Mart you can trust that the cashiers were just as catty towards one another, very competitive, and cliquey.
     
  7. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    It's the course/curse of human nature.

    Teachers by nature are control freaks, I had a ski instructor tell me teachers were the hardest to teach to ski because they had to always be in control.

    We think we have to control everything in our room, everything from the temperature to 20/30 kids at a time.
     
  8. runsw/scissors

    runsw/scissors Phenom

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    I can definitely say parents who are teachers are often the most difficult to work with. They think they know it all and can do a better job! I have had a few teacher parents that were wonderful, but the majority of them have wanted to tell me how to do my job. One even offered to come observe my classroom management and give me pointers!

    Here is another (related) question. Why are teachers (or humans in general) so hard on themselves? I have people tell me all the time how organized I am and how orderly the room is, but I always feel like I am two steps away from complete disaster! Some days I don't know how anyone puts up with me.
     
  9. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    Normally, I would be 100% on your side. However, our SpEd teacher has been at work 3 days (4 as of Tuesday, but she left early) since Thanksgiving. She teaches two other subjects to my kids. My babies that I teach 5 subjects to. FIVE. I give every waking minute to these kids. She doesn't get her stuff done on time, and now, because she didn't answer the phone when the P and Superintendent called to ask her why she didn't check the marks over today (report cards get printed tomorrow) I won't be able to put my report cards together during my prep tomorrow. Neither will 4 other teachers. Instead, we will have to come in on the weekend, because she can't be bothered to do her job. That said, if you can't do the work, go on sick leave. We had a teacher last year with dangerously high blood pressure who was at work 3 out of 5 days. Another who was so sick that no one in Canada go diagnose, and she came in when she was on an IV.

    So you don't come in because of a headache? Because it might be H1N1. B*tch, I had H1N1... you just don't want to work.
     
  10. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    Just to add... my parent-teachers are amazing! I love them more than anyone else, but I teach my P ad VP's and Super's kids. Not to mention 3 other teachers in my division. They have been nothing but supportive and have my back against non-French speaking parents, even though many of them do not speak the language.
     
  11. Sarge

    Sarge Enthusiast

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    What you all describe is the total opposite of where I work. Other than a few very negative individuals, we do not criticize our own where I work.
     
  12. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Oh, same here, Sarge.
     
  13. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    To add to my story, the person in question is anti-vaccination and lied to get out of work today about going to get vaccinated against H1N1 - she told me so before she left.

    I will be hard on someone who lies repeatedly to get out of work.
     
  14. runsw/scissors

    runsw/scissors Phenom

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    There is a teacher where I work that many people gossip about and criticize. Personally, I don't know that she is a bad teacher so much as misplaced and left unmentored for a few years. She is in a different grade level now and doing better I think. Her classroom management could use some improvement, but that can be said of almost anyone myself included. I feel bad for her because she really knocks herself out trying to improve whereas some of the critics are perfectly content to remain stagnet. I would never criticize a collegue within earshot of another person as I would hope others do not ciriticize me (though I'm sure they do.)
     
  15. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I don't know this teacher so you could be and probably are absolutely right (although calling her that is a little much on an education forum...asterisks don't make cuss words non-cuss words, but whatever). However, I try to be careful about health matters because while some people are open about such things, others are not. There could be major issues. But again, maybe not. And if it was only that she thought she had H1N1, I think it's good to get that checked out before returning to school. I never go to the doctor, but I did last week when I thought I might have had it because I didn't want to go back to work prematurely. I was going to return to the clasrroom after missing a couple of days because the fever was low and I wasn't miserable, but I decided to go to the doctor that day just to be sure...and she did NOT want me to return for several more days.

    Apparently this teacher is absent often, so I could be giving her too much benefit of the doubt. I guess I'm speaking generally here...
     
  16. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    CG, isn't calling someone a "B*tch" just a bit much........:confused::confused:

    I think it is.......

    Major.....:):)
     
  17. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I think that we all want every teacher to be one that we would want our own children to have. When we see shortcomings, we sometimes have a knee-jerk reaction (at least, I do). I try not to be hard on others, but I admit that I am sometimes. I work hard, and those that I criticize are those who aren't pulling their own weight (other people are doing their jobs for them) and those who treat students badly. The teachers who sit in the staffroom, loudly talking about the "jerks" in their classes or those who have others plan all of their lessons for me don't always get much respect. I know that I'm not perfect, and don't expect others to be, but I do have certain expectations. I should add, however, that I never share my thoughts publicly and will never allow students to badmouth colleagues.
     
  18. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    Good point...teachers should never allow students to all-out badmouth other teachers to them. Some teachers actually take pleasure in this which is very unprofessional and simply childish.
     
  19. Sagette

    Sagette Companion

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    Nov 15, 2009

    :hugs:

    I've been fortunate that most of the teachers I work with are very supportive. I did find this attitude more when I was a substitute. It was really disheartening that instead of offering support and insight into their class, they were quick to blame. Sorry you are having to deal with this.
     
  20. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    The only answer I can think of to the original question is EGO. Usually that's the root of human conflict.
     
  21. CanukTeacher

    CanukTeacher Comrade

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    See I don't just see it at school. I see it at the district level. I see it when I go to conferences with teachers from across the province and the country. I sometimes even see it on discussion boards. I'm not saying teachers are never supportive but it seems to me that as a profession we are quick to judge each other. I admit I often am (in my head) frustrated with certain colleagues who don't do their jobs as well as I think they should. But I also know that probably doesn't help very much. I do have a job where I have to work with a lot of different teachers and I do notice some seem to be a bit slack - as Mrs C suggested - but I don't think it helps to be judging. That may seem contradictory but I don't think it is. Even if someone is being a "bad teacher" judging by peers doesn't really help the situation.
     
  22. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    I've been fortunate to be in schools where this wasn't running rampant. I'm in a school now where everyone is supportive of each other and the principals are supportive of their teachers. Last year, the teachers weren't the problem..it was the parents, and unfortunately, the P took the parents side. We have enough problems in the profession that we don't need to be bad-mouthing each other.
     
  23. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I agree. I guess my "judging' is usually more frustration or venting. I wish I didn't do it, but find I don't make the time to come up with a solution.
     
  24. multilingual

    multilingual Rookie

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    Why, indeed. It's so demoralizing when people are so catty and get sucked into the negativity of judging, complaining, etc. These types of behavior were harder on me as a teacher than any misbehaving child that I ever had, hands down.
     
  25. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    Sometime, though, it's hard.

    You pour your whole heart and soul into your job, trying to do what's best for your kids. And you see others who are doing far, far less for their kids.

    I once worked with a teacher who got a new Precalc prep. That June I gave her all my notes and told her I would be around all summer if she had any questions. She never called.

    But once school started, she interrupted my prep &/or lunch EVERY SINGLE DAY to have me teach her the material. Material that she was certified to teach, material she was being paid to teach. What was I do to-- NOT show her and have her kids suffer from her utter lack of professionalism??

    After a few months I spoke to the department chair. AT that point, HE took over as her private tutor.
     
  26. MissCeliaB

    MissCeliaB Aficionado

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    I agree with this. When I hear them saying things, I stop them. However, it's sometimes interesting to hear what in particular they think makes a "good" teacher, and what negative things they will say about teachers.
     
  27. Kindergarten31

    Kindergarten31 Cohort

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    Basically our teachers are very supportive of each other. We do have one or two teachers who just invite problems and having people talk about them--sometimes I think those teachers like the drama and being the center of attention and the talk around the school. Just like kids, negative attention is better than no attention.
     
  28. CanukTeacher

    CanukTeacher Comrade

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    I think that the concept of "teachers who invite problems" is the problem. First, different teachers have different ideas of who "invites problems." So that is an issue because 1/2 the staff can all of a sudden be doing things wrong. Beyond that, however, even if a teacher isn't doing something great this being hard on each other in this manner doesn't help.
     

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