Why are the parents of boys so much crazier?

Discussion in 'Secondary Education' started by TrademarkTer, Jul 29, 2019.

  1. TrademarkTer

    TrademarkTer Groupie

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2017
    Messages:
    1,485
    Likes Received:
    1,019

    Jul 29, 2019

    I've been teaching high school for seven years, and I've dealt with a number of crazy parents. That said, every single crazy parent I've ever dealt with, the child was a boy. I've teach in a high SES district so I've had to meet with lawyers, advocates, and a host of other individuals brought in my overzealous parents. I've had parents that have emailed me on an almost daily basis, and parents that have and parents that have had ridiculous demands for redos, retakes, changing grades, accepting late work, and all kinds of other stuff. The only common thread is in EVERY SINGLE case, the child has been a boy. If you asked me before I started teaching, I would suspect it to be the opposite, envisioning parents being overprotective of their girls, but this couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, parents of girls have been much more likely to reach out to me with positive feedback, praise, and thanks. Parents of boys have been much more likely to drive me insane.

    Is this your experience as well, or the opposite? Why do you think it is?
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2019
  2.  
  3. gr3teacher

    gr3teacher Phenom

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2013
    Messages:
    4,248
    Likes Received:
    785

    Jul 29, 2019

    I've had seven parents in ten years that I'd say were outrageous (three of them all in the same year... ugh). Of the seven kiddos, six were girls, one was a boy.

    I will say that I also tend to get a lot more positive feedback from the parents of girls. If I had to guess, I'd say that girls in general are more likely to share details of their school day with their parents.
     
  4. Aces

    Aces Habitué

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2018
    Messages:
    820
    Likes Received:
    429

    Jul 29, 2019

    I think with boys, especially teenagers, we as the parents tend not to be made aware of small problems until they become big problems. Not on the part of the school/teachers, but on the part of our kids. We have two teenaged sons and I have to PRY and pull teeth for information about how their day went, do they need help, etc. If they're struggling with something they have a bad habit of not getting us involved. Thankfully they keep their grades up on their own. It's other issues we ran into on a near constant basis.
     
  5. TrademarkTer

    TrademarkTer Groupie

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2017
    Messages:
    1,485
    Likes Received:
    1,019

    Jul 29, 2019

    This is probably true, but with the parents I am classifying as crazy, they are obsessed with things that are FAR from big problems. "You took off 3 points here, but that was harsh, and 2 points would be more fair." "He got a zero on this homework, and you wouldn't take it late." [My homework being only 10% of the grade with at least 15 homework grades a MP with the lowest HW grade being dropped anyway......]
     
  6. vickilyn

    vickilyn Magnifico

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2014
    Messages:
    8,756
    Likes Received:
    2,162

    Jul 29, 2019

    Wow! As a parent of a boy who is now a male teacher, I find that a sweeping condemnation. I'm not sure that student gender is the basis for "crazy parents awards", but my judgement may already be flawed, according to the thread title.
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2019
    3Sons likes this.
  7. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2014
    Messages:
    3,763
    Likes Received:
    1,014

    Jul 29, 2019

    I actually had to send a lengthy letter to a helicopter parent who would not stop pestering me and I had enough. I let them know, in no uncertain terms, that I was the instructor, that I determined how points were distributed, and that I did not accept late work. I also made sure that they knew that I was not going to stand for them telling me how to conduct my class and unless they had an urgent matter (an emergency or a legitimate concern) to discuss pertaining to their student, that they were NOT to contact me or give me any more directives. I finished up by saying that I was not their student and I would not be talked to as such. Thankfully, my principal backed me up 100% and the parent deflated after that. It was glorious and cathartic.
     
  8. TrademarkTer

    TrademarkTer Groupie

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2017
    Messages:
    1,485
    Likes Received:
    1,019

    Jul 30, 2019

    For what it's worth, I do get the impression, based on what I have read from you, that you could be a touch over the top/overbearing, which would likely put you in that minority of parents.
     
  9. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,939
    Likes Received:
    2,086

    Jul 30, 2019

    Wow, that’s incredibly judgemental. As is your OP premise
     
    pommom, christie, swansong1 and 3 others like this.
  10. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2010
    Messages:
    4,324
    Likes Received:
    551

    Jul 30, 2019

    Off the top of my head, my experiences have been similar to the OP's. My grade-grubbing parents have belonged to girls for the most part. But the crazy, over-the-top parents that think they are going to tell me what to do, that get lawyers involved, that talk crap about teachers at Mommy W[h]ine fests, all have sons. I think it stems from a couple of things. The Mommy/son relationship dynamics and the idea that men are to be leaders (therefore young men need to have awesome high school grades as a foundation).

    I've taught seven sets of boy/girl twins. With six of those sets the mothers were nutso dealing with their sons but had little to nothing to say about their daughters. The seventh set belonged to a single dad.
     
  11. greendream

    greendream Cohort

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2011
    Messages:
    597
    Likes Received:
    127

    Jul 30, 2019

    This is a very bizarre premise for a thread.
     
    bella84 likes this.
  12. vickilyn

    vickilyn Magnifico

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2014
    Messages:
    8,756
    Likes Received:
    2,162

    Jul 30, 2019

    I was a parent who taught my son to do his work, do his best, and to settle any perceived problems on his own. Where was I involved? Well, I supported the track teams, worked to support all of the music programs, helped with fundraising so that all students could attend class trips, supported teachers in their quest for tenure, celebrated staff who might otherwise be overlooked, and basically was one of many parents who supported school activities for the sake of all students. I appreciated my son's teachers, even the ones he struggled with. His grades were his to fight for or not. Same concept as he went through college. If being a financial and morale building supporter for all students makes me "over the top", well, guilty as charged. My son was classified at a young age, and my strongest lessons were to work his hardest, address his problems with his teachers on his own if he needed something, and to believe that teachers were very smart people who had his best interests at heart.

    I had the good fortune of taking my MEd. courses with my son at my side. Our grades were not identical because we each did our own work. I never asked him about his grades, he didn't ask about mine. I figured he had graduated from HS and earned a BS without parental over site, so why start to change that now.

    Sorry you think there is a gender difference in how parents parent their children. Even sorrier that you would lash out at the parents of either gender child and label them crazy. ,
     
    swansong1 and bella84 like this.
  13. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2014
    Messages:
    3,763
    Likes Received:
    1,014

    Jul 30, 2019

    This escalated quickly...
     
  14. vickilyn

    vickilyn Magnifico

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2014
    Messages:
    8,756
    Likes Received:
    2,162

    Jul 30, 2019

    Not escalated, clarified. :cool:
     
  15. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2014
    Messages:
    3,763
    Likes Received:
    1,014

    Jul 30, 2019

    [​IMG]
     
  16. 3Sons

    3Sons Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2007
    Messages:
    1,988
    Likes Received:
    146

    Jul 31, 2019

    Well, parents of boys have seen years of casual sexism and unequal treatment. When an unfair or oppressive rule is made, it's usually tested by a boy. Ludicrous administrative decisions around zero-tolerance policies are typically going to impact boys.

    If a parent of a boy has regrets about how they dealt with the school system by the time their kid gets to high school, it's usually going to be that they weren't crazy enough.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. samjackson,
  2. Danish Fasial,
  3. Pranit
Total: 257 (members: 3, guests: 223, robots: 31)
test