Who is going to look after our kids

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by hman, Mar 30, 2008.

  1. hman

    hman Rookie

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    Mar 30, 2008

    I once taught in a nursery school.i was surpriserd on what i discovered and experienced personally.

    A boy of (2) left alone to come to school with a nanny. the same nanny comes back to pick him up.

    i later discovered that both parents were BANKERS and dont have time to take their child to school and to pick him up too.

    This same little boy allows everyone to pick him up or down. he is so used to everybody/strangers. i have never seen him shed tears when other kids cry to go back with their parents.

    I believe parents should be able to select their careers carefully for the sake of their children. Houshelps are raising up our children now because some parents no longer have time. i foresee a diasaster, because it is already happening in some countries.
    please, contribute if you can
     
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  3. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Mar 30, 2008

    This has been going on for decades. At least the child is cared for. I feel bad for the children that aren't fed properly, have to wear dirty clothes, and as they grow older end up being latchkey kids.
    Sometimes parents have to work. If they don't they won't be able to afford to have children.
     
  4. SarahJ

    SarahJ Companion

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    I've been a nanny for many years and in many cases, the parents are better parents for having a nanny as that gives them the time to work which is fulfilling to them. Some parents would make not-so-great stay-at-home parents. I've worked jobs where I was with the chidlren 11 - 12 hrs a day, sometimes longer, but they all had marvelous attachments and relationships with their parents because the parents made an effort on weekends and in the evenings to be parents to their children.
     
  5. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    I agree Jaime, it's been a problem way before know. Unfortunately, some parents don't have the option of choosing a career- some just need a job. I don't beleive it is right but I know that's what I've seen.
     
  6. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    I'd like to add- having a nanny or any caretaker doesn't necessarily mean neglect by the parent.
     
  7. hman

    hman Rookie

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    BUT MODERATOR, IN MY OPINION I THINK MOST OF THE CRIMES, MURDER RATE, DRUGS. I THINK IS BECAUSE ALOT OF PARENTS HAVE STOPPED BEING PARENTS. SOME DONT REALLY KNOW THE CONSEQUENCES OF NOT RAISING GOOD CHILDREN. OUR SOCIETY IS TRUE REFLECTION OF MAJORITY OF HOMES
     
  8. hman

    hman Rookie

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    SARAH J. I AGREE WITH YOU ONLY IF PARENTS FULLY PARTICIPATE TO MAKE UP FOR THE TIME SPENT OR LOST. HOW MANY PARENTS ARE MAKING THIS ARRANGEMENT. AND AGAIN. I BELIEVE THE NANNY CANNOT DO EVERYTHING. AND THE NANNY CANNOT 100% PLAY THE ROLE OF PARENTS.

    SARAH J. I PRAY GOD WILL CONTINUE TO STRENGTHEN YOU TO HELP MORE PARENTS. BUT HOW MANY OF YOU ARE OUT THERE.
     
  9. JustT

    JustT Comrade

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    Hman, I think it has to deal a lot with the environment a child is raised in.

    I agree with JMarie. I know a few close friends of mine who have been basically raised in a boarding school. They are extremely successful and well rounded... They are hardly neglected growing up. In history, especially WWII, many children in Europe were separated from their parents and they still grew up healthy and happy adults.

    What I find most troubling is parents who have the time for their children but unable to connect or bond with their child. For example, a child who grew up watching their parents watch television, drunk, or these days... playing video games all night.

    I'm talking about children who are shoved aside and not acknowledged.
     
  10. SarahJ

    SarahJ Companion

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    BUT, a good nanny, daycare, childcare provider is going to step in and be a substitute parent for those a children. You can't generalise like that. Parents who need childcare and who employ/make use of GOOD childcare are those that are being the best parents they can. Parents who don't care and who let their kids do whatever they want, yes, I can see the problems arising there, but I disagree that using good childcare will make bad citizens. If anything, better citizens, well rounded, confident and independant children.
     
  11. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    I do beleive that parenting skills are lacking in some people! that's definitley true.
     
  12. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    I am 35. From the age of my birth until 8 years old. I was "raised" by my biological parents- drug addicts. They neglected me and I had to get myself up and walk to school, dress myself, and get on the public bus. I was a latchkey kid. When my parents had to abandon me because they were being sent to jail.. I had my mom's family who raised me. Thank God for that. However, one could say that a good part of my youth was damaged and I would have ended up on drugs, committing crimes, etc. Today, I am happily married, with my degree, my mom's family, a house, etc. It's not fair to have a child's life planned out with generalizations like that.
     
  13. teacherstudent1

    teacherstudent1 Companion

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    Humans are not computers; we are much too complicated. You just can't generalize for a topic such as this because there are just too many variables.

    I know many teachers who themselves take their own children to a caregiver early in the morning and pick them up at 6. That doesn't make them bad parents or destine their children to less than successful or fulfilling lives.

    I know other children who spend all day with a parent who, due to that parents poor parenting skills, would be better served by a good caregiver.

    I have seen daycares and home care that provide warm, caring, and stimulating environments. And I have seen some where I wouldn't leave my dog.

    Yes, I chose to stay home with my children when they were young, but it was my choice to do so, and we were dirt poor during that time. There were many times that I doubted my decision, but in the end it worked for me. However, I can easily see where this would not work for others.

    We need to be careful not to judge. The important thing is that the child is getting quality care and attention from his caregivers, whoever they are.
     
  14. RainStorm

    RainStorm Phenom

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    Just because a parent has someone else pick up and drop off a child doesn't mean he/she doesn't have time for the child. You have no idea if they spend the evenings with the child...or weekends...or vacations.

    They are making sure their child's needs are being met by hiring a nanny, and for all you know, spending wonderful quality time with him outside of school.

    I try not to judge parents or the way they raise their children just because it is different from what I see as the "norm." Children have been cared for for hundreds of years by nannys and governesses. Children have been sent to boading schools, and still have a strong bond with their parents. I wouldn't be too quick to judge a parent as inadequate because they pay a professional nanny to drop their child off at nursery school and pick them up each day.

    At least these parents care enough to hire a professional to care for their 2 year old AND send the child to a nursery school to boot!

    I worry more about children who start kindergarten never having been to any group situation before, not knowing colors or letters, having no background knowledge, and having been watched by a parent who puts the child in front of the TV all day rather than interacting with him/her.
     
  15. missidy

    missidy Rookie

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    I work at a school filled with families with the upward extreme of money! Most parents do work ALL day and rely on nannies to pick up children and care for them. Parents tell me, though, that their children do all of their homework and chores with the nanny...and the kids do the "fun stuff" with the parents when they return from work. These parents are making time for their children, and paying someone to do the parts they don't enjoy. The kids generally have a wonderful long-term relationship with the nanny. I'm not at all concerned with these home lives....
     
  16. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    I think it's more important to realize that a child is being escorted to and from school safely by a responsible adult.... not left to get there on thier own.

    I beleieve that parents who work in a bank can't get to drop off and pick up thier child... they may have to be in before 8 and just because a bank "closes " at 3...business still goes on inside the bank.
     
  17. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    hman doesn't seem to have come back- wonder if original post was meant to stir things up a bit? The CAPS in hman's subsequent posts are a little off- putting.

    Most parents are doing what they can- many have jobs, highly paid or not- pretty much making one sacrifice or another- if you have a demanding job and rely on help with your house and kids you are labelled a bad parent. If you don't work and kids come to school in hand me downs you can be labeled as lazy. We need to be a little less judgmental of each other and of the parents of the children we teach. You don't know what lives people have at home, their challenges, responsibilities. All you can do as a professional educator is to be the best you can be for the kiddos you teach for the 7 hours you have them.
     
  18. ecsmom

    ecsmom Habitué

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    Both my parents had to work to make ends meet. My sister and had had the most loving babysitter from infancy until we started school and summers until we were 12. We were as close to her as we were to our grandmothers.

    We rode the bus to and from school. PTA meetings back then were held during the day so my parents didn't get to attend.
    I wonder what the teachers thought of them?

    What they didn't know was that they helped with homework when they got home and spent time talking to us. On weekends we went camping together.

    I think my mom would have gone nuts being a SAHM. She is still working at the same job she has had for over 40 yrs.
     
  19. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    A tad bit judgemental wouldn't you say? Just because someone has another person deliver their kid to and from daycare, doesn't mean their kid is going to grow up and be a murderer. Let's get real.

    We can't all just quit our jobs, downsize our home, and get on welfare just so we can be home with our kids. Some parents are better parents because they work.
     
  20. KinderMissN

    KinderMissN Companion

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    Nannies are common all through history...throughout most of time, aristocratic moms didn't even nurse their own children. They were given to wet nurses to feed. I dont think the fact that the child is picked up by a nanny makes the parents bad parents. Most of my parents in my class work hard to make ends meet ( I work in a very poor school) and I cannot judge when an aunt, uncle, older sibling, etc. comes to pick them up. I know that they're doing the best they can. The children still come to school fed, properly dressed and groomed. It is a very personal choice for one parent to quit working and care for children. For some it is just not an option because it means eating or not eating. And most of my kids would rather eat.
     
  21. teacherstudent1

    teacherstudent1 Companion

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    Mar 30, 2008

    Everyone has to make the best decision for their own situation.

    Some parent(s) have to work and can't stay home.

    Some who could stay at home (financially) may not be suited to it either socially or psychologically. Some really need to be around other adults. Some may feel they need to have involvement in something else to feel fulfilled.
    Whatever the case, if they really don't feel the need or desire to stay home all day with the kids, they may be better off working, then spending quality time with their children later.

    As I said before, it is not our place to judge, as long as the children are receiving loving care.
     

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