When to quit...

Discussion in 'General Education Archives' started by introuble, Jan 5, 2006.

  1. introuble

    introuble Rookie

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    Jan 5, 2006

    After a lot of deliberation, I've decided to turn in my resignation effective at the end of this semester. To give my principal notice, I'm going to tell her tomorrow or Monday. She's going to be incredibly irate and probably rude...any ideas on which day is better?
     
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  3. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    Jan 5, 2006

    I would say Friday, mainly because I would rather get it over with. Also, the more notice she has, the more time she has to find another teacher.
     
  4. GlendaLL

    GlendaLL Aficionado

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    I'd say Friday too - she'll have time to cool down over the weekend (hopefully).
     
  5. hanvan

    hanvan Connoisseur

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    Why would she be so mad? Its your life? Seems like to me she would understand if you wanted a change or whatever??? I know my principal would maybe be disappointed but not mad.
     
  6. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I'd say Friday because then she'll have the weekend to cool down, and so will you. I am curious to know too why you're leaving and why she would be that upset.
     
  7. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    I vote for Friday.
     
  8. introuble

    introuble Rookie

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    Thanks for all your input--I was thinking Friday too--mainly because a weight will be lifted!

    My principal is just a really mean person. I shouldn't say that because I don't know her outside of school, but she yells at the staff regularly and treats us like infants. I'll probably ask my union rep to sit in with me because I don't want her to threaten me...or should I go it alone?

    Basically I'm leaving due to lack of support from the administration, as well as the general conditions at this school, which are very bad. I feel like I can't be a good teacher. But, I'll probably just tell her that it "isn't a good fit for me" because I don't want to piss her off even more by criticizing her.
     
  9. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I would have someone sit in with you. It's always better to have a second person and a witness!
     
  10. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    I would for sure talk to the union rep first, before tendering the resignation. From your posts elsewhere, it sounds like the system here is seriously in trouble - and even if you don't want to confront the principal directly, your true reasons for leaving are part of the diagnosis and (please God!) the remedy.

    Here's a large hug, introuble.
     
  11. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    I agree talk to the Rep.
    And bring them if they are able to go.
     
  12. GlendaLL

    GlendaLL Aficionado

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    As Jen and Jaime said, get your union representative to go with you. It will help you to feel a bit more comfortable to have someone on your side when you talk to this "wicked" woman.
     
  13. hanvan

    hanvan Connoisseur

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    I hope it goes well! I'll send a prayer your way :)
     
  14. mrs. dub

    mrs. dub Companion

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    Jan 5, 2006

    Introuble--I've been reading your posts with interest, because we went through a lot of similar things, except my school also had major financial difficulties. I finally resigned two weeks ago; I just couldn't take the stress anymore.

    When you talk to your principal, be sure to explain how your job has affected you mentally. Tell her that you've tried but you've come to realize that this school isn't the place for you. Like you said--definitely don't mention all the things you think are wrong with the school or her. I kept the conversation more centered on my experience, which kept the conversation from getting ugly and accusatory.

    Best of luck to you tomorrow--you'll feel so much better when it's over with. You deserve to be content in your life, and sometimes that means major job changes. I'm sure you'll find a school that's more supportive.
     
  15. teacherchick

    teacherchick Companion

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    Def. get a rep to sit in with you and also put it in writing.. Good luck
     
  16. introuble

    introuble Rookie

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    Thank you all for your kind and hopeful words--I'll let you know how it goes!
     
  17. luv2teachNC

    luv2teachNC New Member

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    Hi. I wanted to tell you that we have a similar principal, and we have had 2 teachers leave in the past month. I would absolutely recommend that you have a non-biased witness. In both of my colleagues' cases, they were threatened and given bad references! I will saya prayer for God to intervene. Let us knwo how it goes! (Oh, and the sooner the better - so I'd say Friday) :)
     
  18. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Luv what part of NC are you in? My brother lives in Wilmington Beach area and wants me to move down there. I wasn't sure what the schools are like down there so told him I would have to research it first.
     
  19. luv2teachNC

    luv2teachNC New Member

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    I'm in the triad area, so don't know a lot about the Wilmington Schools. I have heard rumors through the years that the schools at the beach are generally not great. (I had considered moving there at one point in my life).

    As far as NC in general, I'm not sure where we currently rate as compared to other states; however, I am in a county which provides an awesome stipened. You can check out the NCDPI site, and probably get a general idea of the pay rate in NC. Also, Gov. Easley just signed a bill, giving us a 5% raise, every year for the next 5 years. The claim is that it will put us among the top paid states. (We'll see, lol). I LOVE Wilmington and all of the area beaches; however, really do not have relaible sources regarding the quality of the schools. I would suggest searching the county school system, and research ind. school web sites.

    Good luck.
     
  20. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Thank you for the information. I'll try and research it more. What do you need to do be cert. in NC?
     
  21. introuble

    introuble Rookie

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    Jan 6, 2006

    Argh!

    Frustration!

    First thing this morning, I talked to my union rep and then asked the principal for a meeting with her and my union rep and that it was very important. She said she could meet during my planning period, but I would need to arrange a sub for the union rep. So I contacted the office and they looked into it for TWO HOURS and finally came back to tell me that the principal would be busy all day and couldn't meet with me.

    So I'm just going to give her my letter of resignation. THEN maybe she'll make time for me??
     
  22. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Maybe she senses that it's happening and that's why she's not giving you the time. And why should you be responsible for finding a sub? I bet they know something it up. If that's the case, I wouldn't give them your time.
     
  23. kermy

    kermy Companion

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    I totally agree. There seems to be something a little fishy about that. She'll hear you loud and clear when you give her your resignation!
     
  24. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I worked for a woman like that. I told her for two days that I had to speak to her about something important. She avoided me left and right so finally I just said forget it and wrote her a short and sweet note giving my notice. She wasn't being courteous enough to give me her time so why should I have played into her game? I had a life to lead and I wasn't about to let her prolong what was eventually going to happen anyway.
     
  25. introuble

    introuble Rookie

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    Horrible

    Well, I ended up talking to her and it was horrible. I feel so bad. Pissed, not guilty.
     
  26. GlendaLL

    GlendaLL Aficionado

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    Sorry it went poorly, but now it's over! Take the weekend to treat yourself right!
     
  27. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    introuble, what did she have to say? If you don't mind me asking...
     
  28. introuble

    introuble Rookie

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    Well, I went in there with the attitude that I wasn't going to point fingers or give reasons beyond, "It's not a good fit," because I knew that in a "he said, she said" game with the administration, I'd lose.

    At first I stuck to it, but she pestered me for a reason and I gave a general "lack of support answer." She answered me by saying that her teachers know they should come to her with any problems and she ALWAYS supports her teachers. On my first day more than one person in an elevated position told me to never, ever go to her with anything because she'd see it as a sign of weakness, etc.

    Then she said that another teacher had come to her with complaints about me and that she wasn't going to come and see if I needed help, but was waiting for me to come to her, which is a great plan when you think one of your employees is struggling.

    Basically the whole meeting was about how I handled everything wrong by working through my VP (who handles discipline) and other faults of mine.

    My union rep tried to help me by saying that a lot of other teachers had the same complaints but she blew him off.

    When I left she said she was going to confront the VPs.

    I feel like a horrible teacher and really concerned. I'm sure my VP is going to be pissed. What should I do? Should I document all of my reasons for leaving in writing or just cop a "Yes, I'm a bad teacher so you should be glad to get rid of me" plea and be done with it?
     
  29. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I say stick up for yourself. This will be a blessing in disguise whether you realize it or not. Just maintain professionalism until you are gone, but stick up for yourself.

    Over the weekend write up a list of things you have to back you up. You know this will come up again while you're still there and they will want to talk to you further. You need the reasons to back you up and you don't want to feel like you missed out on a chance to say something you wish you would have thought of before hand.
     
  30. Malcolm

    Malcolm Enthusiast

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    Document the reasons for leaving for your own future reference. The principal has already decided that everything is your fault. Just submit a simple letter of resignation, omitting all the details.

    FWIW you might want to make a note of what the principal said, too, again for future reference. You may be able to learn something from it when all this has blown over, or maybe not.
     
  31. NathalieBug

    NathalieBug Rookie

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    Introuble, I too have read all of your posts and feel your pain. I want you to know that in my opinion you are making the best decision possible for your mental health. So the principal doesn't like it, so what? Her defensiveness leads me to believe that she knows darn well that she is to blame. If she's going to give you a bad reference anyway I would document everything, carry a tape recorder around (extreme, I know, but everybody knows how vindictive Nathalie can be :)), and confront her superiors about her atrocious behavior both toward you and other members of the staff. Do it in "the best interests of the school". Remember to hold your head up high, look her directly in the eye, and when she spouts her nonsense to speak loud and clear with a "I'm afraid I cannot agree with that m'aam".

    I'm sorry, but this sort of thing just really ticks me off. We all know how hard you tried to make this work. There will be another school district out there that will be fully supportive of you and back you up 100%.

    Or you could just invest in a voodoo doll. :) Keep us posted on how it all goes.
     
  32. leighbball

    leighbball Virtuoso

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    I would definitely document everything...I'm having problems with my principal and my union president wants me to have everything in writing in case she tries anything with me.

    My dad (also a teacher) actually mentioned using a tape recorder, too. Isn't it sad that this is what we have to do these days?
     
  33. NathalieBug

    NathalieBug Rookie

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    All of this frightens me. Right now the district I am in is extremely supportive and I know they would back me up 100% with any problems or issues. However, I am planning on getting married next year and my husband's job is going to call for a big move. I don't mind moving so much but I'm afraid of landing myself in a district in which I have unsupportive administration. Introuble's situation has really caused me to think. How common is this problem?? Teachers used to have the ultimate respect. What happened?
     
  34. Malcolm

    Malcolm Enthusiast

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    There are good bosses and lousy bosses in all fields and most school districts. Don't sweat it. Sometimes you can tell what your boss will be like during the interview. If not, just be ready to deal with a lousy boss if you get one. It can range from learning how to work around him to quitting. IMHO it is preferable to find a way to cope. But if that is not possible, and conditions are intolerable, then quitting is a valid option. Life is too short to spend a good portion of your day in an uncomfortable situation if you have any choice in the matter.
     
  35. leighbball

    leighbball Virtuoso

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    For me, luckily my vice principal is awesome...everyone hates my principal though and a lot of teachers are considering leaving if she stays another year. :-( I'll stick it out, b/c I love my kids and the parents and the people I work with...I just hate her.
     
  36. AngelGirl

    AngelGirl New Member

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    introuble- I feel your pain. I too am in a situation where I hate my principal. I have had several run-ins with her this year and I'm ready to quit. My theory is to do what is best for you and your emotional health.
     
  37. Miss.H

    Miss.H Rookie

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    I am sure you are a great teacher..... do NOT let some rude, incompetent, unprofessional person ruin your entire career.

    Document every conversation you have had and go and see your union rep. Don't let them get away with treating you unfairly!

    I am in the same situation at the moment.. and I intend to see my union rep.

    i am sure you have worked VERY hard to become a teacher, stand up to them even if you can't have your job back. At least your principal will get a good talking too. :)
     
  38. kermy

    kermy Companion

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    NO! you are not a bad teacher! never admit to somthign your not! You had no support and I would document your reasons for leaving and at all possible back it up with examples,like when you sadi that you were told never to go to her on the very 1st day. I really hope that things work out and thank goodness you are leaving.
     
  39. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I think everyone goes through a self-evaluation process when things like this happen. It's completely normal, and actually, sometimes it's quite healthy. Just don't convince yourself you are a bad teacher. She is probably just upset because she knows her faults but is too ignorant to do something about them. She's probably also jealous that she isn't as good in her profession as you are.
     
  40. ILMM62

    ILMM62 Rookie

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    It doesn't matter what day you choose. She's going to be rude and irate, no matter what. Whats more important?
     
  41. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    Please, please don't just be done with it. I don't know your whole situation, but if you truly believe you have done the best you can, then you deserve better than this school is capable of giving you. This woman sounds very insecure and aware of the school crumbling under her watch, and is trying desperately to find someone to blame for it. Don't let it be you! Write down exactly what happened to you, be specific, and present those reasons in as public a venue as possible. Maybe all it would take is for one person to start the snowball rolling...

    good luck
    kcjo
     

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