When teachers talk behind your back...

Discussion in 'General Education' started by heavens54, Nov 7, 2010.

  1. heavens54

    heavens54 Connoisseur

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    Nov 7, 2010

    I am getting that nagging feeling. Stuff comes up, gets insinuated, is not dealt with directly. Part of it is my fault for sharing things. Not much, but I guess I need to be more careful. It is just very disturbing to know that in our small school, the others are talking about you when you are not there. The politics, I guess. Not sure what is the best way to handle it? Stay in the lounge so that you are there? Or stay out of the lounge. My philosophy is to do a good job. I do and it shows. Now are they going to talk about me for that? EEEEEEEK!
     
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  3. Momma C

    Momma C Comrade

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    Nov 7, 2010

    AND ?? Who cares what they say? :dunno: You are doing your job and doing it well. Our primary concern is the kids, not the adults acting like kids :lol:. I had this a couple of years ago -- so I started staying in my room, doing my work (and watching hulu on computer). You'ld be amazed at how much you can get done, which means less work to take home. I refuse to play the "politics game." I also learned (the hard way) don't tell anything to one person if you don't want principal and everyone else knowing it, plus some. :eek:
     
  4. Cerek

    Cerek Aficionado

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    Nov 7, 2010

    I've also learned the hard way not to share things with coworkers unless I wanted the entire workplace to know about it. And I've dealt with coworkers that were actively trying to get me fired by telling lies to make me look as bad as possible.

    That situation was very stressful at first, then I decided to just ignore what the other worker was doing and let my work ethic speak for me. I decided I would SHOW the boss what kind of worker I was instead of trying to tell him. As they say, "Money talks and BS walks". In this case, the "money" was my work ethic. In the end, it was the coworker and his BS that ended up walking. ;)

    You can't control what other people say or do. It might be entertaining to "drop in" at the lounge to stop their conversations in mid-sentence, but they will just continue the conversation later. As long as you focus on doing a good job, meeting the needs of the kiddies while also meeting the expectations of the principal, then it isn't going to matter what the gossipers say about you. All they will do is make themselves look bad in the process.
     
  5. Marci07

    Marci07 Devotee

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    Nov 7, 2010

    I agree with Momma C. Do your job and don't care much about what others say about you. Believe me, the ones that care about the kids will notice and will say wonderful things about you.

    The old school where I was, some teachers didn't even talk behind my back, some of them just plainly came to me and told me the things that I did that made them look back. One teacher even told me I was a bad parent for working so many hours.

    I had several teachers putting down my work in front of the principal during meetings and I just sat there thinking that my work would ultimatelly prove my worth. I was so right because at the end of the year, my students did so well, I was offered a promotion to replace one of the persons who continually put down my work.

    See, I have to go to work thinking ahead of time that people talking behind me is going to be part of any job. I'm not going to let it get to me. Sometimes I think it's funny that I cause so much of an impact on them that is enough to create a buzz.
     
  6. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    Nov 7, 2010

    It will get better with time. You will find a handful of people who you learn you can trust and learn from your mistakes of trusting the wrong ones. I know people talk behind my back as well. Years ago I had an issue with a group of teachers who I think live to build themselves up by putting others down. They would even make things up about me. It does hurt. I'm at the point now where someone says "do you want to know what I just heard about you" and I'll just say "no, I really don't".

    Eat where you want to eat, don't waste your time somewhere just because you're afraid when you leave something will be said. They will just find another time to say it.
     
  7. heavens54

    heavens54 Connoisseur

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    Nov 7, 2010

    Thank you for your support. My training that I am signed up for is under question, apparantly outed in a meeting. Wouldn't you think the P would come to me and ask if there was a question instead of mentioning it in a meeting? As if I signed up for a non authorized training? A training that he agreed to a few weeks ago?

    My big question is, why did it come up yesterday? Teacher talk? So odd. And now what do I do about it? UGH. I hate gossip and back stabbing BS. I try to stay above it, but when you are the target, they suck you in...
     
  8. Marci07

    Marci07 Devotee

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    Nov 7, 2010

    Principals forget things quite frequently!!! My advice: e-mail as much as you can. So, when they come and ask you about something, you have it in writing.

    It sounds as if they may try to get you in trouble. You just keep going. Last year when the teachers when cuts were announced and people feared for their jobs, even those that I thought I knew and trusted were telling the principal things I've only confided to them because they were so afraid for the jobs so they try to make everybody look bad.

    Just make sure that what you do is right and you don't have anything to worry.
     
  9. teacher333

    teacher333 Devotee

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    Nov 7, 2010

    As long as you are doing your job, you are fine. Many times people will talk about others when they themselves are insecure, especially if a new teacher comes in and "shakes" things up with new ideas, lessons, gets praise from the principal and supervisors. How is your relationship with those on your own grade level team?
     
  10. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    Nov 7, 2010

    :yeahthat: people are always going to talk about you. and yes, it hurts. but like marci, i assume it's one of the things that goes with the territory. let your work speak for you but if someone says something nasty about you in front of the P to put you down, i would still stand up for yourself.
     
  11. heavens54

    heavens54 Connoisseur

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    We don't have a team. We are only a few teachers in a small school.

    I don't think I am insecure, but when others are talking and questioning and I am not given the opportunity to defend myself, it can be rather irksome...
     
  12. David Brown

    David Brown Rookie

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    Hmm unfortunately people can get nasty and gossip about other people, it's such a negative behaviour and creates paranoia and destroys confidence. Teachers then wonder why their students do the same thing. I think it's best to show the teachers doing this how confident you are and how little their opinion matters. As hard as it is try not to dwell on it and focus more attention on the staff members you really get along with.
    If you were gutsy enough you could confront them and say "listen I heard you were saying _____ which I feel uncomfortable about, if you think I could do things differently can you please speak to me personally. Much easier said than done of course but it would be interesting to see what happens.
     
  13. John Lee

    John Lee Groupie

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    Nov 7, 2010

    This is something I've seriously wondered about... at the school I regularly work at, it puzzles me as to the lack of any creativity in the teachings by the faculty. Seriously, since I'm always there... and I sub virtually every class, I see it all. And predominately, it's workbook, worksheets, read from anthology, DLR, fun packets, etc. PE is largely just stretching + free time or other simple activity, and that's that.

    And I wonder about it because, if/when I ever become a teacher, I have so many ideas that I'd like to try--all are pretty involved, and totally differ from curriculums I see at my school.

    As for the problem of the TS, it is an issue. You can say "oh, ignore it"...and at a certain point, you certainly do (want to ignore bu11$h1t)... but it's something you don't want to let go too, if you can help it. You don't want to work in an environment like that.
     
  14. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    Nov 7, 2010

    A quick hijack:

    Work left for a sub is often not the same as work done when the teacher is there. My classes do completely different activities when I'm there versus when I'm planning for a sub. I don't think it's fair to judge a teacher's creativity based on sub plans.
     
  15. cruiserteacher

    cruiserteacher Comrade

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    I'm guessing you are a woman, and the majority of the co-workers causing you problems are women. Working in a school is like being back in school again. There is a lot of cattiness and gossip. Keep doing your job, keep in good graces with the administration, and you will be fine.
     
  16. John Lee

    John Lee Groupie

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    Certainly, I wouldn't judge the curriculum of some random teacher based on one day subbing for her (him). But as I said, I've been the sub of choice at that school for, :| three years now? And I can judge the regular nature of an activity by students' actions. And frankly: most of the teachers request me because among other things (they say), they don't have to dial down the routine much at all.

    I also honestly don't wish to hijack this thread... but this is actually something that I do wonder about.
     
  17. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    It's not always about "dialing down the routine" though, is what I was trying to get at. My subject is pretty specialized and most subs don't know anything about it. If I expected a sub to lead students in a game of Ninja or Partner Tag or a paideia or sight reading in the target language, they wouldn't be able to do it. It's not that the sub is a bad sub, it's just that I can't expect a sub to know how to do things things the right way (or at all, really). So yeah, when you sub in my room you're going to see reading and note-taking using graphic organizers, educational videos, translating, and *gasp* worksheets. Not the most exciting stuff, but still educationally valid. It doesn't mean that every day in my classroom is that boring. Most days aren't
     
  18. Rebel1

    Rebel1 Connoisseur

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    Nov 7, 2010

    Sometimes we are caught up in the..."SHE said WHAT? NOW! Let ME tell YOU what SHE said about YOU!"...stuff and it does get old. Remember, when it gets that bad, you need to just step back and STOP volunteering info at the lounge or wherever the GOSSIP TRAIN hooks UP @. Usually the ones who tell you, "Don't let anyone know!"; are the ones you don't want to hang out with. They say that to everyone, and then the gossip gets around, and guess who spread it!?! They did it themselves.:eek:
    Anyways, just do your job, avoid getting caught up in gossip sessions, and IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE, shut up!:D;)
    Rebel1
     
  19. John Lee

    John Lee Groupie

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    Nov 8, 2010

    :confused:

    What you are describing, is what I would term dialing down the routine... planning something that is not too involved, etc. So you got me :confused: now. My original point (just to clarify), was that I wonder about whether teachers... for lack of a better way to say it... passively conspire to be mediocre (i.e. not show each other up) in terms of the curriculum for some reason. And I cited my experience at a specific school as a basis.

    Maybe I should just ask, Do you (not just you Caesar753... just anyone, as a teacher) ever not do something because of a professional/personal reason? Maybe because pacing requirements, or conforming to others in grade level? Or maybe you don't want to stand-out among your peers or appear overly extravagant in terms of what you do? Or maybe I'm just naive (you know how sometimes you think, "oh if I was that person, I'd do this!" about various things)...

    Again, going back to my specific experience: everything just seems very vanilla... nothing anyone does really stands out.
     
  20. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    I have never encountered that attitude. Ever.

    What I'm saying is that you are judging teachers to be "vanilla" based on sub plans. That's not fair. Sub plans don't represent actual classroom content or activities for most teachers.
     
  21. Rox

    Rox Cohort

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    Nov 8, 2010

    I tend to be more direct when it comes to gossip...

    "I signed up for a training, but I heard it might not be authorized. Do you know how I can find out for sure about this?"
     
  22. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    Lee,
    No I never dummy down curriculum to meet others expectations.
     
  23. heavens54

    heavens54 Connoisseur

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    Rox, that is exactly what I did. I called my person who is assigned to guide my meeting the requirements of the program. She didn't get back to me until last night. She said I am to take the training and that is what she and P agreed on in a meeting. I don't know what happened on Friday, but I do know that I was part of the buzz.

    How on earth can I sign up for a training without authorization?

    Wagging tongues are dangerous, non productive and downright hurtful. But, whatever. I am doing what I am supposed to do. I have my students and their parents to answer to, they come first (as long as these goals don't conflict with the P, I agree to this).
     
  24. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    I can't tell you how let down I was when I worked in my mother's office the summer after high school. I really thought the cattiness, gossip, backstabbing etc. was over for life-then...I work with a bunch of secretaries.:eek:hmy: It was really devasting to learn adults act like that too. I'd just let it roll off my back and go on doing what you're doing. It sounds like you have a handle on it.
     
  25. stephenpe

    stephenpe Connoisseur

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    Nov 9, 2010

    My wife and her mom constantly worry and let what others might say dictate their life. Case in point. mominlaw just left the recent wedding early because she felt slighted about seating arrangements. Consequence. Her only granddaughter (3 years old) danced and danced to the live band for an hour and was the hit of the reception. Yes, the bride loved it as she loves the little one dearly. So grandmother does not see it.
    I have told the DW so many times that the day you quit worrying about what others say is the day you can be really happy.
     
  26. CindyBlue

    CindyBlue Cohort

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    Nov 9, 2010

    Interestingly enough, the gossips and backbiters at my school are men...
     
  27. David Brown

    David Brown Rookie

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    Good to see gender generalisations being broken down, ha ha;)
     

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