When students tell you "no"

Discussion in 'Preschool' started by Preschool0929, Oct 16, 2014.

  1. Preschool0929

    Preschool0929 Cohort

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    Oct 16, 2014

    This year I have a horrible mix of students. I teach preschool special ed. with a mix of needs ranging from severe health/physical needs, to students who just have some mild artic delays. I've never had so many students just tell me "no" when asked to do something, and today was the worst it's been. It's not just 1 child, it's 5-6 children who when I go over and calmly say "john, start to clean up the blocks", and I get a head shake and a "no" while he continues playing, or I say "jane, sit on the carpet", I get a "no" and a smile. It's maddening. I've never had to work so hard before to get kids to comply with directions, and all my typical "tricks" aren't working (giving choices like "you can sit on the blue square or the red square" or "clean up the dolls or the food".) I feel like I do the same things I have in past years, giving positive reinforcement to those making good choices, using our class-wide behavior system to provide extra visual reinforcement, using visuals to help prompt, etc.. But all I get with every single direction is "no".

    How do you react when told "no" by a child?
     
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  3. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

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    Oct 17, 2014

    You said you're doing all the things I was gonna say. If they don't comply with choices, impose a consequence like missing some play time.
     
  4. mrgrinch09

    mrgrinch09 Comrade

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    Oct 17, 2014

    I'm sorry that I don't have any suggestions for you.

    I had a horrible classroom last year, and it didn't get any better until those kids went away at the end of the year.

    I nearly lost my mind. :dizzy:


    Hope it gets better soon.
     
  5. Froreal3

    Froreal3 Companion

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    Oct 17, 2014

    I say, "You can do it on your own like a big boy/girl or I can 'help' you do it." My helping is not fun. I will physically move their bodies to make them do it (pick up their hands in mine and have them move the toys to the bin). They hate that because they want independence. I even "help" them wash their hands in the bathroom if they are playing in the water and what not.
     
  6. 2ndTimeAround

    2ndTimeAround Phenom

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    Oct 17, 2014

    As a mother, I love this. Many people won't, but I do.
     
  7. Preschool0929

    Preschool0929 Cohort

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    Oct 18, 2014

    :thumb:I do this too, when I can. Although, most of the time when I'm asking them to follow a direction like to clean up, sit down, wash hands, etc.. I'm moving some of my more severe students from wheelchairs to the floor or into walkers, so I'm not always able to go over and provide the hand over hand assistance. Sometimes I think my students realize that I'm not always available to enforce rules, so they act out more during these times. :dizzy:
     
  8. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

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    Oct 18, 2014

    Only toys that get cleaned up can stay out to be played with. If you have to clean it up, it becomes "yours" and isn't available to play with anymore. It may take a few days and a serious lack of items out to make an impact, but by day 3 they will scramble to clean up before you.
     
  9. Froreal3

    Froreal3 Companion

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    Oct 19, 2014

    I agree with this. If they can't clean it, they can't use it. That center becomes "closed" or items go out of reach.

    Good luck. I'm just praying you make it through the year. I can't even imagine.
     
  10. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

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    Oct 19, 2014

    The problem with this is that it now comes unavailable to all the children, not just the ones who wouldn't cooperate.

    What about making clean-up fun? I turn on a song, and we all work together to quickly clean up before the song is over.

    Also, giving positive attention to those who are cooperating often gets some reluctant kids to help because they want to hear you praise them. I notice, see, appreciate, thank..... child who is .....picking up, being a helper, helping his ____ pick up, cleaning up without me asking, being responsible etc., etc. loud enough that everyone can hear.

    Acknowledge feelings - I know you are tired, don't want to pick up, etc. however/never-the-less (any deflector) it is time to..... and guide them to help. Even if they don't help, I hold their hand so they can't do anything fun. I am really sorry you can't...., but only helpers earn that.....

    Children who help...will get to be line leader, hand out snacks, be my special helper, go outside first, etc.
     
  11. wyvern

    wyvern Companion

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    Oct 20, 2014

    Kids DO want to be independent. And they want power and control in their lives. The trick is get kids to believe they thought of the idea themselves. So, instead of directives like "please sit on the carpet." ask a child: "it's circle time, what should you be doing?" Or instead of "Put the puzzle away, please," ask: "It's time to put our puzzles away. Can you show me where this one goes?"

    Not saying this will fix everything. There is no fix for EVERYTHING. But remembering that children want to feel control helps us to find ways to give them ways to be in control appropriately.
     
  12. Froreal3

    Froreal3 Companion

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    Oct 20, 2014

    I agree with all of those suggestions, especially the song. That one really works. But I was under the impression that it was the majority of kids who were not cleaning up the centers...pretty much the entire class. When the class isn't being responsible, they shouldn't get to be rewarded with playing with those particular items. Those are logical consequences. Now if it's just a particular kid, then obviously the consequence only applies to that kid.
     
  13. Preschool0929

    Preschool0929 Cohort

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    Oct 20, 2014

    Out of my 16 kiddos, it's about 5-6 that consistently do not clean up. These are mostly my students that are diagnosed with various social/behavioral disorders. We've done social stories about cleaning up, given crazy extra praise to students who are cleaning and are ready and sitting at carpet, and play a song that they are supposed to be finished cleaning by. It just seems like with this select group of kids that they don't care about anything at this time. I might need to revamp my social story and do something like "If I can't clean up my center when the song comes on, then tomorrow I won't be able to play there again"....as the previous poster suggested.
     
  14. wyvern

    wyvern Companion

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    Oct 22, 2014

    I heard someone say about child behaviors: There is always a reason. It's our job as teachers to discover the reason for a behavior and then find the right way to create the desired behavior. That's why I suggest finding a way to get a child to want to do something, or understand that something needs to happen from inside themself. Many children resist anything they feel is Extrinsic, that being from outside themself. Getting the desired behavior to be Intrinsic is the goal. Personally, for me, a child who doesn't want, intrinsically to conform to a transition or routine or directive, isn't going to change with just a song.They need to believe they themselves want to do this thing, even if it's only to show that they can.
     
  15. Froreal3

    Froreal3 Companion

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    Oct 23, 2014

    Hmmm... Maybe make it a little competition? Have them put their "fast feet shoes" or" looking goggles" on? I really want you to win! Lol
     

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