Hey there folks, Long story short(ened): In late 1996, my father fell very ill. It doctors about 2 months to decide what was wrong with him. In the late autumn months, his personality drastically changed. He began to act with impulsivity and displayed careless/inappropriate/reckless behavior -- both of which were out of character for him. Around December he began to complain of serious headaches. My father had never taken a "sick day" from work in his life and had a huge tolerance for pain, so my mother took it very seriously and booked several doctor's visits. At this time my older sister was living in California just starting out her life as a young adult (she was 23 y/o) and I was a freshman in college out of state (18 y/o). When I came home on Holiday Semester Break, my father was hospitalized and spent 2 weeks in a hospital in our home state of Boston. His behavior was erratic and unusual. He was a "mystery." Finally, late January, he received the diagnosis of a type of "encephalopathy," which basically means a disease or disorder in one's brain. When he came home, he was a changed man. As my mama has said countless times "this is not the man I married." My father had episodes where he'd enter a situation with a sense of boasted entitlement - for example, he walked into his work and angrily demanded why his medical leave of absence was delayed, etc. Anger and impatience were the hallmark points of his personality from that point on. It has been 14 years since he was sick with a baffling illness that has left him a changed man. I am honestly not sure how my mama deals with his mood swings, immaturity, and irrationality. Last night I visited with them both and my father was ridiculously upset and something and arguing with him (or trying to get him to see other's points of view) is not an option. It can try your patience for sure. At one point my father said "I'm an old man. This is just how I am." It made me so very sad to hear my barely 63 y/o father (about to be a grandpa) talk like that. It's as if he's given up on any chance of getting better. As someone who has witnessed and lived through mental illness herself, I feel that he displays all the signs of depression: he sleeps a lot, he does not keep consistent meal times (when he's hungry at 5 PM because he hasn't eaten all day that naturally does not help his mood), he is quick to anger, he has difficulty "backing down," etc. I want very much to suggest he speak to a therapist, but he has a large dose of pride (?) where I think he would not want to do that -- even though it has helped me in leaps and bounds. I tried to speak w/ my sister about it today. She does not spend as much time with my mom and dad as I do. She maybe sees him and mama 3x a year. That is not a bad thing, just her thing... and I am certainly NOT judging her. She did not want to talk about it much... and just said "we need to be patient with him." She did not want to see that this has been going on for almost 15 years and he has done little to nothing to help himself get better. She kept saying that it was "his choice" to not get help, which I suppose it true. But I remember when I was very depressed and how easy it was to have that defeatist attitude like I see in my dad. Also -- she does not see his behavior as often as I do, just based on the fact that she's not around him as much (again not a judgement call, just the way it is). Had I said that to her... about not being around him as much as me, she would have immediatly flown on the defense. I am sad that I feel like my one sibling has almost "written him off" as to say "it's just how he is..." She just didn't want to even DISCUSS it. It could be so much better if he would at least try to try. *deep breath* Thanks for listening. Not really looking for an answer here, just support. This is our father and throughout our childhood and teenage years he was absolutely amazing. He was a kind, supportive and loving Dad who never let us want for anything. It breaks my heart beyond repair when I see how he acts now... and how he treats and speaks to the people who love him most: my mom, my sister, and me.