When kids randomly hug you, does it mean they aren't getting enough hugs at home?

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by Teacher_Lyn, May 8, 2009.

  1. Teacher_Lyn

    Teacher_Lyn Companion

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2008
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    2

    May 8, 2009

    So this year's been pretty rough on me, but I'm trying to make it through. There's a kid in my class who randomly comes up and hugs me around my waist, which is awkward because his head is right at my chest.

    He'll do it like 3 - 4 times a day. I know it sounds sweet, but sometimes it gets a little annoying because I'll be talking to the class or busy and out of nowhere, I've got these arms squeezing me.

    Then he keeps holding on to me and I always have to be the first one to gently pull/push him away. Sometimes I have to almost pry his arms aloose because he holds on so tight.

    He's also constantly trying to show me pictures he's drawn and talk to me about them, which wouldn't be a problem...if it weren't during MATH TIME. lol

    Does that mean he's not getting enough hugs at home? I keep trying to tell him that he's only allowed to hug me in the morning when he first comes in and when it's time for dismissal, but he always seems to forget and just runs up and squeezes me.

    Should I continue to let him do it or reprimand him? :confused::(
     
  2.  
  3. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2009
    Messages:
    257
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 8, 2009

    I usually just say "I'll be happy to have a hug when we are finished with my lesson." or something like that.

    Some kids are just huggers-my own children are. Just last night, we were eating out in a very small restaurant when a older couple came in (we had been the only ones there) and my 3 year old son started to get up from his chair. I asked him where he was going and he said "I want to hug them." : )

    It doesn't mean that they aren't getting enough hugs at home. They just have to be taught when it is appropriate and when it is not.

    It sounds like this child just really loves you and wants some of your undivided attention.
     
  4. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2009
    Messages:
    257
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 8, 2009

    Does he have siblings???
     
  5. sevenplus

    sevenplus Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,640
    Likes Received:
    2

    May 8, 2009

    No, it definitely doesn't mean that he doesn't get enough hugs at home. He might or he might not. But it is perfectly acceptable to limit and set boundaries.
     
  6. txteach2b

    txteach2b Comrade

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2006
    Messages:
    416
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 8, 2009

    I agree. He may hug you because he really likes you. Plus, you said he's always showing you something he did. Just set some boundaries, and keep reinforcing them. He should get it after a few tries when he can hug you and when he can't.
     
  7. Teacher_Lyn

    Teacher_Lyn Companion

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2008
    Messages:
    231
    Likes Received:
    2

    May 8, 2009

    he's got a EXTREMELY hyperactive little brother. the little brother and mom came to visit me for parent teacher conference day and OMG the brother was insane. he ran all around my room, tore up several of my books, wrote on my chalkboard with a marker and when it was time to go he got up underneathe of my desk and started crying refusing to come out.
     
  8. scholarteacher

    scholarteacher Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2008
    Messages:
    1,684
    Likes Received:
    38

    May 8, 2009

    It probably just means that he loves and appreciates you. I teach my kids the sign language for "I Love You"--thumb, forefinger, and pinky up--and they can do that from time to time without leaving their seat, the line, etc.
     
  9. GoehringTeaches

    GoehringTeaches Comrade

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2007
    Messages:
    311
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 8, 2009

    I think it may be exactly the opposite--the family hugs a lot at home. I know that my step-children will tell us at home that they love us while we are eating dinner or doing stuff and it's because we say it all the time. I bet money they probably tell their teachers that they love them too because they hear it a lot at home.
     
  10. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2009
    Messages:
    257
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 8, 2009

    Sounds like little brother could be taking up lots of mom's time at home. He probably just needs a little one on one from an adult. Just help him know when hugs are allowed and when they are not.

    I love Scholartteacher's idea for the "I Love You" sign! I'll have to teach it to my class!
     
  11. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2007
    Messages:
    3,563
    Likes Received:
    4

    May 8, 2009

    I'm doing this next year. Thanks scholarteacher!
     
  12. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2007
    Messages:
    3,563
    Likes Received:
    4

    May 8, 2009


    Does he hug you in front of mom? Does mom hug him in front of you?

    I am really huggy, and most of my class is too. I really don't care.

    I agree with the poster who said it is probably the opposite. He likes you, he really likes you! :LOL:
     
  13. Major

    Major Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2005
    Messages:
    1,620
    Likes Received:
    5

    May 8, 2009

    When I sub I get hugs from all age groups all day long..... Bet you guys from the "political forum" find that hard to believe......:p

    Major......:):)
     
  14. chicagoturtle

    chicagoturtle Fanatic

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2006
    Messages:
    2,973
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 8, 2009

    2 things-

    1) Kids 'craving hugs" like that could be a sensory need- Sometimes they don't feel their own bodies so they get deep pressure from others (but you'd probably see signs of bumping into things and other things like that)

    2) The I love you sign can be confused with a gang symbol- if that is an issue in your area.
     
  15. Rebel1

    Rebel1 Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2008
    Messages:
    1,522
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 8, 2009

    I've got one little girl like that in my class. I would be talking to a parent and she'd run over and hug me really tight around my legs and say, "My Ms. (my name)", She'll tell the other children that all the time, when they come around me and she is near me. She gets her feelings hurt very fast when I do not respond to her; to a point where she'll run off and cry. I do my best to give her one on one time and explain to her that while I'm talking to adults or other children, she needs to wait until I am done before she can hug me. She does the same when her Mom or Dad comes in. She'll run at them really fast, jump on them, and give the same kind of hugs. She offers to help clean up or help me with anything and everything that I am involved in. She's the sweetest little girl. It's in her nature to show her affections with the tight and long hugs. When she first joined our class I made her feel at home, played with her ,and made her laugh when she was sad, and thus my role as her security blanket began.:D
    Rebel1
     
  16. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2006
    Messages:
    2,305
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 8, 2009

    TeacherLyn,
    I have a student just like yours...I love the kid, but her excessive hugs and outbursts/excessive talking were out of hand. So, now, when she comes in, I tell her that she can give me a morning hug if she wishes; and there's a time for that...not in the middle of Math or going out to recess, etc...but, right before we start school.
    She's just a very loving little girl, who like many kids loves the attention and needs it. :love:
     
  17. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2006
    Messages:
    2,305
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 8, 2009

    :thumb:I agree! It's a great idea! :)
     
  18. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2007
    Messages:
    3,563
    Likes Received:
    4

    May 8, 2009

    I don't let them hug me at inappropriate times either.
     
  19. BioAngel

    BioAngel Science Teacher - Grades 3-6

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2007
    Messages:
    3,642
    Likes Received:
    108

    May 9, 2009

    I have a student who can't socialize with students/his peers properly but loves hanging out with adults. He's taken a strong liking to me and will make me things, show me his drawings, come up just to stand next to me, and recently bought me a pencil sharpener since someone took my other one (the little hand held ones).

    His parents are very dedicated and loving, so I don't think in my student's situation its that he's not getting enough love. I personally think its because he doesn't know how to interact with students that he wants to know he's cherished by the faculty. It can get sometimes annoying, but I remember he's a child and I think its sweet that he can be so loving towards a teacher.

    I have other students who I know their home life isn't great--- mostly girls--- and they need a hug at least once a day. I give them freely since I know they might not be hugged by their parents who are working all the time or away on a trip. I have one student who's father is extremely depressed and you can see her sadness all over her face even when she's smiling--- she's the one who hugs me the most. I understand why, I don't talk to them about their family life, but if a hug is what they need at that time, of course I'm going to give them one.
     
  20. Major

    Major Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2005
    Messages:
    1,620
    Likes Received:
    5

    May 9, 2009

    In addition to "kid" hugs I get a lot of "(female) teacher" hugs. I don't think anything about it. I assume they are just being friendly......:p:p
     
  21. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2006
    Messages:
    7,946
    Likes Received:
    3

    May 9, 2009

    How adorable!



    I'm not sure about your question, so I'll let others address. I just wanted to add that I have several huggers even in middle school. Hugs are good! :hugs:
     
  22. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,950
    Likes Received:
    2,104

    May 9, 2009

    Here's one of those female hugs from me to you!!:hugs:
     
  23. Major

    Major Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2005
    Messages:
    1,620
    Likes Received:
    5

    May 10, 2009

    Thank you C..... Any hug from my Navy Lady is special...So here's one back at ya:hugs:
     
  24. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,950
    Likes Received:
    2,104

    May 10, 2009

    :blush:
    Thanks, Major!
     
  25. YoungTeacherGuy

    YoungTeacherGuy Phenom

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2007
    Messages:
    4,231
    Likes Received:
    1,173

    May 11, 2009

    I made a little sign that I hang above my classroom door which says: Hugs are free, so give them away! :hugs:

    On the first day of school, I tell my kids that we are a family. Because of the environment I create, I give/receive lots of hugs, high-fives, and pats on the back. :)

    Many of my kids don't get attention at home, but a few of them do. Honestly, I don't see a correlation between lack of affection at home and hyper-display of affection at school! :thumb:
     
  26. EMonkey

    EMonkey Connoisseur

    Joined:
    May 10, 2008
    Messages:
    1,592
    Likes Received:
    4

    May 11, 2009

    Some kids just really like to hug!
     
  27. deazy86

    deazy86 Rookie

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2009
    Messages:
    29
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 27, 2009

    Hey , Teacher_Lyn's, it does not really mean that the boy doesn't get enough hugs at home. But yes you should set boundaries as sevenplus said.
     
  28. Kindergarten31

    Kindergarten31 Cohort

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2007
    Messages:
    500
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 29, 2009

    I hug my children alot, but also had a child who went overboard. I ran off a bunch of little tickets that said "Good for 1 Hug" and gave him 2 or 3 each day and told him exactly when they could be used. He enjoyed that-made him feel alittle more special. There are so many children who don't get to spend alot of time with their parents and just need that little extra reassurance.
     
  29. cmgeorge626

    cmgeorge626 Companion

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2007
    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 29, 2009

    I'm a hugger too and love that I get PAID to be hugged by sweet 1st graders all day! :)

    I agree, sometimes there may be a correlation between hyperhuggers and lack of affection at home but not enough to make a generalization. In 1st grade, they just love their teacher and are usually just affectionate.

    I understand the problem of interruption though, and I LOVE the idea of giving tickets along with an explanation of when they can be used.
     
  30. sk8enscars311

    sk8enscars311 Companion

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2008
    Messages:
    185
    Likes Received:
    0

    May 29, 2009

    I haven't had a problem with inappropriately timed hugs (well maybe once or twice). But thanks for this thread! It just reminded me of how nice it is to get hugs and how I shouldn't take it for granted. I get so caught up in making sure everything is orderly that I don't really cherish those moments (sorry, cheesy!). Most of my K and 1st graders hug me everyday when they come in and many will still want more as the class goes on. Especially when it's free dance time. It IS nice to know that they see me as someone worthy of their hugs. Heaven knows their classroom teachers aren't. The K teacher is so MEAN!!!! Which reminds me of a question I want to ask.... new post. (sorry, I'm done!)
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

Total: 254 (members: 1, guests: 227, robots: 26)
test