When does money become an issue in your relationship??

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Master Pre-K, Apr 29, 2018.

  1. 3Sons

    3Sons Connoisseur

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    May 10, 2018

    Stay strong, master-preK. You can get through this. Try not to let him get away with overstaying, either. If he hasn't given firm plans for where he's moving closer to when has actually needs to move, you might need to prepare to kick him out.

    1) give him written notice now of the date he needs to move out. The three months is more than sufficient, and I think you to end of the year is too much but it's up to you. The point is, if it's not written, things could get very messy.

    2) a month before the date, let your landlord know confidentially that he's no longer going to be living there, and tell him you'll need the locks changed. If your ex tries to overstay, you'll need to be able to physically keep him out.

    3) two weeks or so prior to the date the locks will be changed, call the local police and okay let know what's going on. If your ex does anything stupid like try to break the door down or even stand outside shooting at you, you'll want to be able to call them. If he hasn't done anything actually illegal them they won't arrest him (so, don't worry about him) but will encourage him to leave.

    This is essentially what's called a "self-help eviction", and it wouldn't be legal if you were the landlord. If he has some actual legal right to stay (if of his name is in the lease, for example), then you'd need to formally evict him if he tried to stay. This is a little more work, but it starts the same way --written notice of when he needs to move out.
     
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  2. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    May 10, 2018

    Its my townhome

    He is not on lease

    Informal agreement for rent only

    I don’t want to change locks until ALL his stuff is gone
     
  3. TeacherGroupie

    TeacherGroupie Moderator

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    May 10, 2018

    Um, no. You give him written notice to leave and include that this is notice to remove ALL of his belongings from the premises by that date. Then you change the locks on that date. What he leaves behind, he leaves behind. If you want to work out a back-channel way that he can collect his gear - maybe a friend of his will take custody? - you can, but for the sake of all concerned I think the locks need to change as soon as he's supposed to have everything out of the space.
     
  4. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    May 20, 2018

    He's gone.

    I have still decided to put my unit on the market.

    He is still sending me messages, trying to make me feel guilty for forcing him to leave, and trying to reconcile the relationship.

    There is nothing left, and I am not interested in trying to reconcile.

    I am going to change my life, as my life has changed.

    I will attend counseling, and take some time, and make clear choices before dating again.


    "Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself." - John Dewey
     
  5. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    May 21, 2018

    Good!
     
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  6. futuremathsprof

    futuremathsprof Aficionado

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    May 21, 2018

    If all of his belongings are out of the house, then block his number.
     
  7. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    May 22, 2018

    Good Master Pre-K! Can you change the locks in the meantime? Not to scare you, but stay safe out there and look over your shoulder throughout the day/night...who knows if he'll try to do something when you least suspect it.
     
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  8. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    May 22, 2018

    Way ahead if you. I did that as soon as he had all his things.

    Yes, and I’m changing my route too. Between awful love letters, I get a lot of hate mail. Don’t really know what he plans to do.
     
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  9. Been There

    Been There Habitué

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    May 22, 2018

    You may also want to subscribe to a company that will keep your new address off the internet.
     
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  10. creativemonster

    creativemonster Comrade

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    May 22, 2018

    congratulations on your strength and resolve!
     
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  11. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    May 23, 2018

    I'm glad things are starting to work out but I agree with the others saying be careful. He must be hangry since nobody is buying food for him anymore!!
     
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  12. 3Sons

    3Sons Connoisseur

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    May 23, 2018

    Glad you're okay. Changing your route was a good idea.

    Hopefully as he gets the message that you're not interested in going back to him, he moves on and finds a woman who doesn't mind dating a leech.
     
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  13. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    OMG! You are so right!
     
  14. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    May 23, 2018

    I’m sure...hungry and angry. He messed up big time.
     
  15. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Thanks...I needed that!
     
  16. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    May 26, 2018

    And if you need some more inspiration & empowerment, watch the movie Enough!

    In fact, in this day & age, I think ALL females should take some kind of martial arts or at least self- defense. I took it long ago, but I wish I was a black belt in karate, but I'd worry about taking lessons w/ my bad ankle. :mad:

    Want a song?! Here's one to motivate you:
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2018
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  17. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    May 27, 2018

    Thank you Mrs. I...

    Every day becomes a little easier. I know I made the right decision.
     
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  18. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    May 29, 2018

    You're welcome Master Pre-K. And I hope you have a great, relaxing summer!
     
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  19. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    May 30, 2018

    I wish you the same Ms. I....
    As 3Sons says, I hope he stops bothering me soon, and starts searching for my replacement.
     
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