When are you too old to have a baby?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out Archives' started by Tbug, Aug 15, 2005.

  1. Irissa

    Irissa Cohort

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    Aug 16, 2005

    31 and trying to get pregnant.
     
  2. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    Oh, that makes sense. My hopes for you are that it happens for you soon after you start trying. I was lucky and was pregnant within two months of trying, both times, but I realize that some are not. Best of luck. :love:
     
  3. paperheart

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    This is a question that has been on my mind as well...

    I am almost 26 and think it will be 2-3 years before we start the baby process. My dh is 3 years younger and we just got married 1 month ago.

    I really don't want kids after seeing my neices. As much as I love them, I'm reminded of the different lifestyle my brother and sister-in-law have now.

    Most of our reasoning re timing has to do with wanting our business to be successful so we can retire in 5 years. I feel it would be so much harder to accomplish this goal with a baby to love unless I put it 2nd and could never do that!

    Alicia :)
     
  4. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    ok Im going to be the one that hated being pregnant, all 4 times.Its not that I didnt want my kids or that I dont love them. Just with 3 out of the 4 there were complications. Not to mention the miscarriage in between number 2 and 3 Nothing major, just enough to make me not like being pregnant. Each time the Dr assured me that it would be different. He was right each pregnancy came with its own problems. Number 4 being by far the worst and most definately my last. I never really though of being pregnant as fun and an interesting experience, but hopefully you will still have those same thoughts when are pregnant. Good luck and I hope you enjoy it when you do become pregnant.
     
  5. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    Only you know what your true priorities are and no one can really answer that question for you.
     
  6. Mable

    Mable Enthusiast

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    txmomteacher2- you're not alone. I miscarried 3 times and during my last pregnancy I worried for 9 months straight. It was horrible. I love my son with all my heart but did not enjoy being pregnant.
     
  7. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

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    Aug 16, 2005

    Hmm... not sure if I want to read all of these pregnancy stories... lol delivery with no meds.... OUCH!!!! LOL I hate pain... LOL (looking at my little pudge of a belly thinking WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO!!! LOL)

    Lori
     
  8. Mamacita

    Mamacita Aficionado

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    This probably isn't the right time or place to talk about how I had my son in twenty minutes, huh.
     
  9. DaisyGirl

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    Thank you. I might try to move the trying date up sooner but I'll have to talk to my DH. He is the one who wants to wait. But you are right, it could take awhile to get pregnant.
     
  10. Nisey

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    Aug 16, 2005

    how long?

    If you don't mind my asking.....How long did it take everyone here to get pregnant? I've been off the bc since April and nothing's happen yet... :(
    My doctor says it may take three or four months. Guess I'm just feeling a little anxious. Hubby's big time on the Baby wagon.... :p
     
  11. teacherece

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    Nisey:
    Wow. I hadn't thought about this for some time. I got pregnant on my first try both times. I knew the exact day...okay I'm weird. I just kept track of my cycle. I think I was lucky. I never told anyone this before, especially friends who have tried for years. From what I understand, it's best to not put pressure on yourself...just have fun trying.
     
  12. teacherece

    teacherece Cohort

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    Aug 16, 2005

    hey, what does dh mean as posted above? Sorry, I'm mush brain these days.
    thanks.
     
  13. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    I don't think they mean designated hitter, ha! But I was wondering that too!
    And in response to how long did it take, In my case, lets just say I'm a "fertile Myrtle", and leave it at that!
     
  14. CanadianTeacher

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    I was lucky...For my first, I had just started the temperature, rhythm method and got careless...pregnant in less than two months. For my second we decided that it was time so I stopped using the diaphragm...pregnant the next month. After he was born, I had an IUD put in because I wanted more and my husband didn't yet I wanted to keep options open but didn't like any of the birth control options...I had it in for 2 1/2 years and got pregnant with that in me. (It turned out to be an ectopic and I needed surgery). So I now have two kids and we're finished.
     
  15. Amanda

    Amanda Administrator Staff Member

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    Aug 16, 2005

    dh = darling husband/dear husband
    dd = darling/dear daughter
    ds = darling/dear son

    I learned at HomeschoolSpot.com, because they talk about family all of the time and use those acronyms a lot!
     
  16. AChancetoTeach

    AChancetoTeach Comrade

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    After 8 years of BC pills, it took me 9 months to get pregnant the first time, but only 2 months the second time. Also, I had gestational diabetes with both pregnancies, but still wouldn't change a thing, loved being pregnant even though I had to take insulin shots!
     
  17. katerina03

    katerina03 Devotee

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    Aug 17, 2005

    I was a teen mom. I my son was born 2 mts before I turned 18. He will be 18 next week! It was a big disadvantage to have him when I was so unprepared for life and the father was an idiot. We stayed together 6 years. Now that I have been happily married to a great man for years (we've been together for 11 years) I can't get pregnant for nothing in the world. We've been trying for 10 years. I thought I was too old and should give up (I'll be 36 in Oct) but thanks to your posts I know there is still hope and I'm not to old!
     
  18. teacherece

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    Thanks Amanda.
     
  19. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    3 stories to give you hope:

    #1: Friends of ours have been trying to get pregnant for years (I think 6). They were told that their hormones were not compatible, meaning the mans sperm would never be able to fertilize her egg-they weren't a "match" so to speak. Anyway, after going through TONS of fertilization treatments and such they gave up. Not even a couple months after stopping the treatments they got pregnant-ON THEIR OWN. Now they are expecting in a couple months with their first child-a baby girl.

    #2: I have a friend who has 2 uteruses (sp). One is dead, and the other is normal. Everytime she would get pregnant she would miscarry and even had a stillborn. The doctors gave her little hope for ever having children because of her situation. For some reason they had difficulty getting the egg to fertilize into the normal uterus. She and her husband now have 2 beautiful girls, and I mean beautiful! One is 4 and the other is 1, and they were conceived naturally.

    #3: One of my college professors has a uterus that tips upside down. It's literally backwards and flipped upside down. She was told at a young age that she would never be able to have kids. Needless to say, she has two kids, both grown up, out of college, and healthy-and again-both conceived naturally.

    Maybe that will lift your spirits:) You're still young by todays standards!
     
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2005
  20. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Aug 17, 2005

    Not to freak any of the "would be" moms out there, but did any of you get the "pregnancy mask"? It looks like my face as broken out in freckles on the upper part of my checks. Just curious!?!?
     
  21. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    Aug 17, 2005

    I kind of got that under my nose, but not on my cheeks.
     
  22. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    Listen I had three the natural way, and one with drugs. Take my advice, Drugs all the way!!!!!!!
     
  23. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Aug 17, 2005

    I am going to be turning 30 in less then two months. I am not married, nor do I have children. I would like to get married in the next couple of years. Bf and I have been together for five yrs this fall.
    I don't have a cut off but I think I would like to have my first child around 34. (of course I'm crazy and have always wanted to have twin girls, only problem is bf wants a boy, so now I tell everyone I want triplets).
    Yes I'm crazy I know.
    BTW I was raised with brothers that are the same age. One was born May 12, and the other August 29. One is my full brother the other is a step, I also have a half sister that is 12.5 yrs younger then me.
     
  24. ABall

    ABall Fanatic

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    don't ever let any one tell you it could take up to three months for the BC to get out of your system, that is what I had been told, .....not so!
     
  25. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    LOL well that is good to know.
    How long did it take for you?
     
  26. Mom of 4

    Mom of 4 Rookie

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    Hi there... I was 21 when I had my first child. The desire of my heart was to have all of my kids before age 30. My dream came true and I had four children before my 30th birthday.

    Looking back, I'm grateful I was able to have the kids while I was so young... it worked well for my husband and I ( but I certainly recognize it isn't for everyone!).

    Today, I am 47 with kids ages 26, 24, 20, and 18 years. I just left nursing to pursue teaching at the elementary level. I begin my credentail program in September 05!

    The best to you,
    Mom of 4
     
  27. katerina03

    katerina03 Devotee

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    Thanks for you stories JenPooh. I refuse to give up hope of having a baby, or adopting. I just can't afford adoption among many other reasons.

    I think bc increases your fertility personally (if you skip pills). I was 17 and inconsistent with my pills and got pregnant. Maybe I should go back on the pills and start missing, then I may get pregnant again.
     
  28. skippyk

    skippyk Guest

    Aug 17, 2005

    I had my son when I was 25 and 18 months later had twin girls. The girls were a complete surprise, from the fact that I was pregnant to the fact that there were two. I found out after the fact that twins run in my family but by sheer luck haven't shown up for several generations. I also found out that if you get pregnant quickly after stopping the pill it increases your chances of twins. I was off the pill for 3 months. My cut off age when my kids were babies was 30, but now I am 30 and I find myself wanting another one. My suggestion, though to anyone who hasn't started their family or only has one: space them far enough apart so that you are only in the heavy stage of diaper use one at a time. Having 3 in diapers at the same time made my days seem like nothing but diaper duty.

    Tami
     
  29. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    There's another way to look at it though. When they are close in age, they often end up to be much closer siblings (such as in best friends) My kids are 19 months apart and are so close. I agree it's tough when they are in diaper and young and needy, but it pays off as they get older - they grow together and have much more in common.
     
  30. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    I'm with you on that one. I don't know what I would have done without my epidural-and you all know what I think about meds to begin with. So me saying meds all the way is HUGE!

    ABall: I hear ya. Everyone kept telling me it would take at least a year after BC! HA! 2 months for me!
     
  31. BethMI

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    DH is dear husband (as I know it).

    I went off meds (Depo Provera) and it took a year, if not a little longer for my body to start working correctly again. Then it took another 8 mos. to get pg. We were actually supposed to go see the fertility dr on 2/19 (don't let me scare you, it wasn't the timing, my Dr. thought there was a reason-real weird one-that I wouldn't get pg on my own). I took a pg test on 2/18 and it came back +, I didn't believe it. WEnt to my regular OBGYN instead of the fertility dr. and sure enough! Still didn't believe their test either. Never believed it until I had an ultrasound at around 8 weeks. BTW, I loved being pg!! And I love being a mom that much more! :) Enjoy!
     
  32. danda

    danda Rookie

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    Aug 17, 2005

    Katerina03-

    Adoption is always expensive. Our two children were adopted differently. The first was a "private-independent adoption" through an attorney and probably cosat start-to-finish- $4,000. (someone at church annonymously blessed us with $1,500 and $100) Our other adoption was through the state (foster/adoption) and didn't cost anything (in fact we rc'vd care money for that one!)

    I pray you will be blessed whichever way it turns out for you (biiological ot adoption)
     
  33. danda

    danda Rookie

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    oops! I meant adoption is NOT always expensive!! Sorry!
     
  34. katerina03

    katerina03 Devotee

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    Thank you for your prayers. I may check into adpotion in a year when we are more settled. My sister adopted 7years ago and I know they went into debt big time. My husband and I do not make close to the money my sister and her husband make. Infact, I don't know any lower middle class or working class adopters (is that a word?) I would love to be prengant and give birth, but I would be just as estastic to be a mother in anyway possible. I know eventually I'll be a grandma (my son is 18) but that is maybe 10 years away. (my son doesn't even want a girlfiriend yet).
     
  35. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Katrina,
    Check into thyroid meds as well. I know before one of my relatives adopted they put her on that to make her more fertile!!!
     
  36. katerina03

    katerina03 Devotee

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    Thank you. I know there are different types. I was on a very expensive one a few years ago BEFORE my husband lost his job and insurance.
     
  37. Nisey

    Nisey Companion

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    Aug 17, 2005

    ???

    Well how long did it take you then? :eek:
     
  38. teacherece

    teacherece Cohort

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    I don't know if the reports are different from when I went off bc, but I thought you should wait at least three months so that you don't have to worry about effects on the children.

    Good luck to everyone trying to have children...may God bless anyone who wants to love a child. :angel:
     
  39. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    teacherece,
    I'm not sure about that either. I was still taking & surprise. The nurse told me it gives baby a little extra of the hormone, but not too worry!!!!

    Healthy baby disproves that baby!!!
     
  40. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    We weren't trying either. One day we were arguing over when to have children, then two days later I found out. I think it was God's ultimate joke on my husband, because he wanted to wait longer...he he!
     

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