When are you too old to have a baby?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out Archives' started by Tbug, Aug 15, 2005.

  1. Tbug

    Tbug Companion

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    Aug 15, 2005

    Just wondering...
    If you have children, how old were you when you had them?
    If you don't have kids and do want children, when are you planning on it? What is your cut off age to have kids?

    27 and curious
     
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  3. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    I have two kids. For my first I was 23 and for my second I was 25.

    The ideal age is really dependent on you and your lifestyle and preferences. I wanted to have them young. I'm glad I did. I am one of the youngest out of the parents of my kids' friends - I have more desire to do a lot of 'young' things than a lot of older parents. My kids are now 10 and 12 and things are getting so easy - we are starting to enjoy lots of exciting family things that we all can enjoy. But, some people may want to get their careers off the ground first and get established...it depends on you. Good luck, I assume you are trying to make a decision...
     
  4. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    I was 27 w/ 1st.
    My midwife said that "they" say it's an ideal age becuz you're more emotionally, financially & physically ready!!!!

    I think it depends on your situation. We waited until I was done with college. But you know God has a plan!!! I got hired & then found out I was preggers in the same week!!!! BIG surprise, but a blessing!!!

    My cut off is 35!!!! Too many risks after that!!!!
     
  5. jpre-k teacher

    jpre-k teacher Companion

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    I'm 27 (on Thursday anyway) too, and I have wondered the same thing. Part of me wants to have kids, but I also want a career. Realistically, I don't think I'll be able to even think about kids until I'm in my early-30s, but like DizneeTeachR I don't really want to have them after 35, and definitely not after 40. So, I don't really know what I'm going to do. Right now I'm just seeing where life takes me.
     
  6. teacherece

    teacherece Cohort

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    Tbug
    I was 30 when my 1st was born, 35 when my second was born. Two amazing kiddles. They are 15 and 10 now. BTW I'm 45 and my hubby just turned 50! :)
     
  7. karrie723

    karrie723 Rookie

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    I was 25 when my twins were born, and 28 when my last daughter was born. I am now 30 and we are trying for #4. My husband and I both wanted to be young when we had kids so that we weren't too out of touch with them and have the energy to raise them.
    I also have a few friends who waited too long, had fertility problems, but did have chidlren with the help of medical science. My one friend is 51 and she has 4 year old twins!!!
     
  8. deedee

    deedee Connoisseur

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    Isn't it funny to think about when we were little and dreamed of our life in the future. I always thought I would get married at 20 have kids at 22 . Ha !! Lets just say I might miss that deadline by a few years!! :rolleyes:
    I think it is all up to fate and when it happens it happens.
    Good Luck! ;)
     
  9. mommaruthie

    mommaruthie Aficionado

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    My mom was considered an old maid when she married and had me and my twin at the age of 28!

    I had my two kids after I was 26.

    One of my students mom is 40 and having a baby. The risks for multiples increases and so to does downs syndrome.
     
  10. BethMI

    BethMI Cohort

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    My husband and I were almost 30 when we had our son. We won't try again for another few years, so 33, or 34. We wanted to be married at least 2 years, settled a bit in jobs, and I wanted my Master's, as I knew I wouldn't want to go back after (and I think I was right!).
    My mom had me (I'm the oldest) when she was 31, and my dad was 34. They had my brother at 34 and 37. YOu would never know it to look at them! I think children keep you young (and apparently so do grandchildren :) ).
     
  11. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    Thank goodness my mom didn't have a cutoff date.........she had me when she was 37,(I'm the youngest of 7) and that was almost 40 years ago! And, thankfully, my grandma didn't either.........she had my mom when she was 40! And that was in 1929! I never planned, my first was born when I was 20 and a junior in college, second when I was 24, and my last at 29. I just think it is a matter of choice and happenstance. I don't think age matters, just the kind of parent you are. I was very young but grew up fast, but I sure couldn't picture my 19 year old having a baby when she is 20! One of my best friends is having her baby in Dec. and she is 38.
     
  12. Mable

    Mable Enthusiast

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    I had my one and only son at 32. I waited for financial/career reasons but looking back- shouldn't of waited. It's tough,not as much energy, you know. Not planning on anymore. I turn 36 this December- have one wonderful, healthy child and that is more than I could ask for. (Lost 3 babies before him- early)
     
  13. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

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    My cut-off date is 35 and I was wondering if I would have kids. I got married in my mid 20's and divorced 2 years later... finding a new Mr. Right around here was like finding that needle in a haystack!

    Now, 32 I'm expecting my first (due march 19th- the beginning of my spring break) and it will probably be my only unless Norman wants to give birth to any other kids we have!

    A teacher at our school last year was 39 or 40 when she got pregnant with her 2nd child (12 years between him and the 1st child). She looked older than 40 and when she went to take the little fellow to day care, they asked if she was the GRANDMOTHER!!!!!!! See, if I hadn't have gotten rid of my gray hair, I'm sure I'd be asked the same thing next fall when I place my little one in daycare... thank goodness for my hairdresser!!!! LOL

    Also, I didn't want to be too old when my kids grow up and not be able to enjoy any grandkids they may give me... Think... if you were 40 when you gave birth and so were they, you'd be 80 getting your first grand kid??? Not much fun there! LOL I'd be too old and wouldn't want to mess with it! LOL

    Lori
     
  14. darzie

    darzie Companion

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    I was 29 when my first daughter was born, 31 when my son was born, and 34 when my last daughter was born. I have a beautiful, healthy family. I was able to spend time alone with my husband and enjoy my career before I had children. I wouldn't have had it any other way!
     
  15. AChancetoTeach

    AChancetoTeach Comrade

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    I'm the same as Darzie above...we waited until we had been married 8 years before having kids and had time to ourselves. I was 28 and 30 when I had mine. Seemed like it was the perfect time for me and I'm about the same age as most of the moms in my sons' classes. My sister-in-law however got pregnant at 40 and she is gray and pulling what little hair she has out (not as much patience and energy?). Her child was miracle though and she couldn't be happier!
     
  16. Nisey

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    Well you're only a year older than me so I don't think you're too old! We've been trying for a few months and we're only 26. The doctor seems to think we're at a good age to have kids.......
     
  17. Amanda

    Amanda Administrator Staff Member

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    I'm glad this thread was started... I just turned 30 and I don't think I'm too old yet, but I'm starting to feel the clock ticking. My mom was 28 when she had me (the baby), and my brother, who is 7 years older than me, has already had his two kids and the youngest is starting first grade this year!! I have always wanted to have kids, and definitely more than 1. I never would have imagined that I wouldn't have kids already at age 30, but my hubby and I are the biggest procrastinators in the world. My birth control patch prescription just ran out for this year and I decided not to refill it. We don't feel ready yet, but we probably never will, so we're going to hand the timing over to God. ;) (At least that's what we're saying now. I have 1 week left to refill my prescription!!)
     
  18. becky

    becky Enthusiast

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    It's funny, I had no desire to have kids.
    God blessed and surprised me with both my kids, and I wonder now how I ever lived without them.

    I was 35 when I had Jeanne, and I was not happy to be expecting at that age. That pregnancy was a trip, a hard 9 months.

    I was 21 when I had Kevin, and it was a breeze. The only problem I had, that I can remember, is I was jumpy and scared all the time. I probably had some kind of anxiety disorder, because I was terrified of goofy stuff, like nighttime.
    Thankfully, I don't need to worry about pregnancy ever again in life!!
     
  19. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    Both of my boys were difficult pregnancies......bed rest for several weeks because of tearing of the placenta. My oldest son was a difficult delivery, he was over 9#, and he was a week early :eek: . Luckily, the doctor got smart about my last one and induced me two weeks early. My daughter was a peanut at just over 6#. BUt overall the deliveries were awesome......all under three hours TOTAL! Now, I know that is definitely more than you really wanted to know! :p And Becky, I'm with you , I know there will never be anymore.........or else my husband will leave me (if you know what I mean :eek: )
     
  20. Amanda

    Amanda Administrator Staff Member

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    Okay becky and kinderkids... Stop the scary pregnancy stories or I'll have to renew my bc prescription after all!! ;) It's funny... a couple of years ago I had a dream that we were pregnant with twins. The thing was... my husband was carrying the babies. They devised a way for the man to carry the babies and he had a C-section when they were born. :D I think that would be nice.
     
  21. sdhudgins

    sdhudgins Comrade

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    well, much like becky i never wanted kids
    God blessed me with two beautiful children.
    I have my boy when I was 24 and my girl at 26. The pregnancies themselves were pretty easy (we'll just skip labor stories for Amanda's sake!) I had my tubes tied after the second one (told DH if he wanted more, he could figure out how to carry them and breast feed them!)
    Lately, though I must confess I've been wanting another (shhh no one tell my DH or he'll wanna get my tubal reversed!!!) and I just turned 29!
     
  22. DaisyGirl

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    I am 25 and want to start trying next year for our first. We waited because of financial/career reasons. My cut off year is 35 too. I can't wait until I'm pregnant, 10 months and counting.
     
  23. ABall

    ABall Fanatic

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    I was 23 when I had my twins (the day its self was the worse day of my life) At 3 in the morning I thought I was having "braxton hicks" I didn't want to wake my husband up, knowing that he had to go to work, I waited until the alrarm went off at 6am, I told him what was going on, and we decieded to wait until 8 am when the doctor was in his office. By then they said to go to the hospital! I was just starting my 7th month. They gave me a paper to sighn to say it was ok to use a hellicopter to transfer me to a larger hospital. But when they did the ultrasound they said there wasn't time for the hellicopter. The twins were born, the first one didn't cry for a few minutes! they were both taken away with out me seing them and flown to the larger hospital. I was left to be in my room, with out any babies to hold :( I didn't have my mom, (she lived in a different state) My husband left to go to the other hospital to see the babies, and then to the airport to get my mom and then back to the babies to show my mom. I was so sad that day. My aunt went out to get me a gift, ( a nursing night gown) that made me sadder because I didn't get to nurse them. Anyway I am thank God for my twins, they are our Million dollar babies! :p :rolleyes: Then wanting to try for a "normal pregnancy" we had our 3rd baby 19 months later :cool: . Then in 2000 God snuck one in on us! :love: ( I was using the low dosage birth control). I love my 4 kids even though its a little over whelming having them all so close in age. They are all healthy now! (the twins being 3 months early spent 3 months in the hospital, my daughter, child #4 was born with a heart defect which is now corrrected, and my middle son had leukemia and yesterday we went to take his portacath out!--that means he has been free of chemo treatments for 1 year!) :wow: I am sorry that I made this so long. to answer the origional question, I was 23, 24 and 25. My husband is 20 years my senior.
     
  24. txmomteacher2

    txmomteacher2 Enthusiast

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    I have 4 children. I had them when I was 23 24 30 and 35. I had no problems with the frst. THe 2nd was over due by two weeks, the third I just felt awful for the entire time, and the 4th I spent an entire summer on bedrest. She was born 3 weeks and 6 days early. (Thank God no more bed rest) She weighed only 4 lbs 11 oz. She will be two in a few weeks and is healthy and into every thing. She was our little surprise. You could have knocked my husband over with a feather when I told him we were going to have another baby. At the time I was going to school and I was taking 19 hours. I even had a Monday morning 9 am two and half hour class.
     
  25. Tbug

    Tbug Companion

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    great stories!

    Thank you all for these wonderful stories!
    I think my cut off age would be 35...similar to most of you. J and I are planning to get married within the next two years, and he and I want to start right away (we have been together since hs). It's really interesting to hear the different opinions people have. My sister (5 years old than me) has 3 children, having the first at 19. Last year she began pressuring me, warning me against waiting too long,claiming if I waited I wouldn't have the energy. My mother is now starting too. We both feel it's important to be financially sound and happy with our carreers, and wiser. My friend is married, 26 and getting her Phd., and their waiting at least until she's finished and has a secure job. It makes me sad that my sister (and mother) don't respect/ or see the value in waiting. Gees...I"m not even married yet!
    Anyway, thanks for letting me vent...and sharing your stories!
     
  26. Mamacita

    Mamacita Aficionado

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    Cutoff date? People are having babies up into their forties and even fifties now. I don't recommend waiting quite that long. I mean, who do they think is going to end up raising these babies?

    I guess the cutoff date is menopause, whenever THAT might be.

    Actually, I'm looking forward to that. I'm going to buy ice cream and shoes with the money formerly spent on 'supplies.'

    And NOW we've had too much information!
     
  27. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    How do you know you will be pregnant in 10 months? :confused:
     
  28. Andrea L

    Andrea L Habitué

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    Gee, when I first got married at 22, I wanted to start having children but knew that it wasn't a smart decision for us. Now at 25, we are not ready for children (I feel the same way) and don't know when we will be. I cannot imagine teaching all day and then coming home and having to be a mother. I already feel as though I am a mother to 28 at school. Plus, we have some friends that have two children and whenever we see them, it makes us want to have children even less. I hope that this ends sometime because I think I want to have children, but I don't know. Thank goodness I'm only 25 and have many years to decide ahead of me.
     
  29. danda

    danda Rookie

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    My husband and I got married when I was 27 and he was 29. We wanted children right away and tried for 4 1/2 years. We now have two wonderful adopted children (one we got from birth and is now 6) the other a few years later (7 years old at the time) and is now 11. I am happy to be a mom and my children go to school where I teach. I love coming home even after being with children in class all day. Maybe it's because we waited for so long and wanted them so badly! We are 38 and 41 now and the kids give us more energy. I wouldn't mind having ("getting") more, but I am content with our life the way it is! God bless you in whatever your decision is.
     
  30. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

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    We had our son when I was 25 and my husband was 27. Just a couple words of advice: if you wait until you are financially ready, you will never have kids. God provides, and he certainly did for us. Sometimes I look back and think how did we get through the year before. I have come to the conclusion that we will never be financially ready because you always have debt.

    We do want another one, but our house is way too small right now for another one so we will have another when we buy our next house. I'd really like a girl, but I love my little boy to pieces:). I don't think there really is a cut-off. Everyones bodies take differently to each pregnancy. Even if you had an awesome first pregnancy, your second one may be completely different. I've seen people have wonderful 40 year old pregnancies and others have very difficult 20 year old prenancies. I just take one day at a time. If I have our next one at 35, then I guess that's ok.

    Don't worry Amanda, I LOVED being pregnant so I don't really have any horror stories. Tanner was such an easy child in the womb-I don't know what happend when he came out;). In fact, even when he was born I didn't feel a thing because my epidural was so good-and he was almost 10 pounds and I didn't have a c-section!!! I wish I could just be pregnant for two years and then pop it out when we move. I know I'm wierd!;), but I LOVED being pregnant oh so much!
     
  31. AChancetoTeach

    AChancetoTeach Comrade

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    I did too! It is such a wonderful time! I still don't think I'm too old for a child (40 next month), but my doctor says I need a hysterectomy :( I know I will feel better afterwards, but it makes me sad that my baby days will be over! So instead of teaching this year (jobs weren't happening for me anyway) I'm going to have the surgery. When you are pregnant, ENJOY every minute, it goes by in the blink of an eye and then they are wearing braces!
     
  32. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Amanda,
    My 1st birth story was quick!! Did all back labor @ home (wasn't sure what was happening & talked to midwife 2 times in the middle of the nite). Anyway got to the hospital & baby born about 15min later!!! No time for anything, except to hop on the table!!!!

    Aball, when I finally realized what was goin on... I didn't want it to becuz my mom was in another state as well!!!!

    Will see how the next one goes!!!
     
  33. DaisyGirl

    DaisyGirl Rookie

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    Canadian Teacher that is when we are going to start trying to get pregnant. Sorry about the confusion.
     
  34. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Jen & AChance,
    Being pregnant is GREAT...like everything it has it's days...a little more sore or the baby gets in that just 'funny' place!!! But as everyone says it's a miracle!!!!
     
  35. MrsRich219

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    We had our daughter when I was 24 and he was 29 and our son this past June. I'm now 27 and he's 32. I'd like to have one more maybe in 3 yrs. when I'm thirty. I don't want any past 30 though! My mom had me and my sister by the time she was 26 and she's great with the kids now. She has lots of energy and she even runs and plays with my daughter in the yard. That's the kind of grandmother I'd like to be.
     
  36. kinderkids

    kinderkids Virtuoso

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    Sorry, I didn't mean to scare anyone. Amanda, if men could have babies, the world would come to an end.......I mean, there wouldn't be any more babies born........ Sorry guys, but, I think God gave that duty to women because He knew that too! :love:
     
  37. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Kinderkids...I told my hubby that and he laughed!!! I told him everyone he talks to (except older women) have had some sort of pain meds...me nope no time!!!!
     
  38. teacherece

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    ladies.....let's not scare those who haven't had children yet. that's just not nice.lol.
    I am going to be 45 in October. I have a 10 year old son and 15 year old daughter. My hubby just turned 50. I've figured out that by the time I start teaching next year, I'll be 70 when I get my 25 years in. How's that for scary.

    I had the most wonderful pregnancies. I was only 30 when my daughter was born and she was a 10 pounder. The only thing that angered me about labor pains was that no one ever told me that they are like really bad cramps. Having had bad cramps my whole life, I thought nothing of them....well, by the time they checked me, I was 9 cm. dialated (sp?) and pushed her out without pain meds (I begged for them). I was the most wonderful experience....so wonderful that when I had my son I wanted no meds also...but hey, i never said i was a hero...the epidural was amazing and it was a beautiful experience...10 minutes and 2 pushes later, my little boy came out.
     
  39. teacherece

    teacherece Cohort

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    Tbug
    as you can see, there are alot of passionate people who love children. I think anyone who teaches should be considered a mom anyway...we all nuture children.
     
  40. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    I was 30 and 31 when my daughters were born, and would happily have had 1 or 2 more, but nature had other plans (won't give you the childbirth details with #2 which led to her being the last, until everyone on the board is done reproducing!). I loved having my girls close together, because they enjoyed so many of the same things, and now they like to swap clothes. the only downside - they will go off to college just one year apart.
     
  41. Nisey

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    I share the same sentiments! I think it will be a fun and interesting experience. We've been out "window shopping" for stuff and putting ideas and names together.... :rolleyes:
     

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