When a kid makes you really mad

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by PEteacher07, Jun 9, 2011.

  1. PEteacher07

    PEteacher07 Cohort

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    Jun 9, 2011

    I just finished my 6th year of teaching PE. I LOVE my job. But as with any teaching position, you have to deal with "that kid."

    For me "that kid" is one who doesn't follow directions, plays in my gym unsafely, isn't truthful, cheats on games (when they know the rules,) and doesn't do their best. I see my students everyday for 45 minutes for PE which is feel is so important. I teach Kinder-5th so most of these kids I have had for multiple years.

    I will admit that there have been times that I have lost my temper and raised my voice or have addressed situations with a child when I was upset.

    I would like to change that part of myself so I don't end up saying something that I would regret later. And I think by doing that I will make myself more approachable for my students.

    What do you do when a kiddo just really ticks you off? :confused:
     
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  3. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

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    Jun 9, 2011

    Well, if a kid is misbehaving and nothing I'm doing is working, then I think my next step would be to speak to their regular teacher and see if they could offer any advice/insight on the child. If that doesn't work, then perhaps a phone call/meeting with the parents would be my next step.
     
  4. EdEd

    EdEd Aficionado

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    I think the biggest thing is trying to understand where they are coming from as much as possible. Generally, there are good reasons behind bad behavior, or at least reasons that aren't the fault of the child. Dig deeper in the behavior that really drives you crazy and see if you can understand it more.

    Also, I've found that generally some bad behavior really hits individuals more than other bad behaviors - not because they are bad, but because the teacher/adult has some personal experience or belief related to that behavior. For example, I personally really get annoyed with blatant attention-seeking behavior because I feel like it's selfish, and leaves out kids who are more quiet that are equally deserving. Those values I have about the "rightness or wrongness" of the behavior makes it more personally relevant to me. Also, I wasn't one of the popular kids or unpopular kids, but I really couldn't stand when kids would use popularity to achieve social objectives, so kids who do that tend to get under my skin. Understanding where I'm coming from (my own history), and trying to understand where the kid is coming from with his/her own history goes a long way, from what I've experienced.
     
  5. kacieann

    kacieann Companion

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    Jun 9, 2011

    There have been times when that I have been really upset and I walk away count to 10, and go back to address the situation. Walking away and taking a breath gives me time to remind myself it probably is not me, but normally underlying issues (home, frustration, another teacher) that the student has. Most students that I have seen in elementary do not want to have bad behavior, but to not know how else to show their feelings.
     
  6. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

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    Jun 9, 2011

    I don't lose my temper with my kids. It's just not my style. I don't yell, but there are times I feel irritated. I do have one student in particular who is very challenging, but he recently lost his mom, and then joined our school mid-April. His father has told me the boy has anger problems (which I have witnessed), and I am just extremely patient with him. I choose my battles with him because he becomes easily distracted and will lose interest during any lecture time (which is very short in my class). Working with the student helps, which I have been trying to do. He responds well one-on-one and seems to really enjoy praise and positive rewards, so I really try to use those things.
     
  7. mopar

    mopar Multitudinous

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    Jun 9, 2011

    I think that the most important thing you can do is try to keep it from going that far. Use small strategies to prevent yourself from getting so angry with a child.

    But when it does happen that you are angry, have the child take a break. Maybe the child will sit out for a few minutes, run an errand, get a drink, etc.
     
  8. Em_Catz

    Em_Catz Devotee

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    Jun 10, 2011

    One thing that helps me when I'm VERY mad at a child is I try to always react as if the kid is going to go home and tell their parents on me and the other students who see me react toward the child are going to tell the truth of what happened.

    Also, I almost think of it like a competition. If I let the kid see that he/she is pissing me off, they win. Just like how if a kid starts kicking and screaming having a tantrum and you kind of shut down, I feel like if I start hollaring and going off, the kid is going to tune me out and figure, "Ms. Em is just having a tantrum."

    Is sending the student to another teacher an option with you doing P.E.?

    Normally, I talk to the parents and I'm trying to get better with documenting so I can bring it to the principal/guidance counselors attention. I had one student last year that REALLY REALLY used to make me want to SCREAM(i seriously considered quitting teaching because he was so awful).

    Because I documented everything with him, I soon had the support of the P, VP and Guidance Counselor. That helped A LOT and we tried several behavior intervention plans. Some were effective, some not. But just having the support was great.
     
  9. KinderCowgirl

    KinderCowgirl Phenom

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    Jun 10, 2011

    I agree with this completely. Sometimes you just have choose your battles and let the little things go.

    The other thing is I like to pull them aside and get down to their level (just like Supernanny teaches) and try to explain to them what they could have done instead. Some kids just don't have that toolbox of responses other kids have. They want the ball and they just take it. It doesn't even occur to them to ask the child if they can play together or if they can use the ball when they are finished.
     
  10. teacherintexas

    teacherintexas Maven

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    Jun 11, 2011

    There is a (rather long) book by Randy Sprick that covers this well. It's called CHAMPs. Our service center has trainings on it fairly often. If there isn't a training on it anywhere close, each chapter is a pretty quick read so the book is very do-able over a break.
     
  11. old_School

    old_School Rookie

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    Jun 11, 2011

    I'm sorry Ill calm down JK. Seriously though I was probly "that kid" in gym class. Gym is a exciting and fun time for kids. We get to play dodge ball and games. Perhapps putting him/her in the corner or making them sit down for a period of time. The corner was the most embarssing experiance for me and being forced to sit down was a nightmare. Sometimes slowing the child down helps alot. as a father though, I just give my children the look. Tended to work well as a teacher as well. The look is the omg I better be good look lol
     
  12. shouldbeasleep

    shouldbeasleep Enthusiast

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    Jun 11, 2011

    I know you try hard to not reach that point, and you've used all the tricks. You diffuse the situation, you redirect, etc. You're talking about "the snap", right?

    I have learned to stare. It's a step further than "the teacher look". It's an outright glare accompanied by deep breathing and standing absolutely still. Or if I'm seated, then I'll lean back a bit and stare. Then my finger comes up and I point to either the hallway, or in your case, the time out corner.

    Not a word comes out of my mouth. Continue to argue with me and my glare and point will not waver. I may utter the words "Five minutes" if they are lucky.

    It actually amuses me and calms me down, but the kid can't see that I'm amused.
     
  13. Marci07

    Marci07 Devotee

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    Jun 11, 2011

    I've used a lot of tricks and some of the work one day some of those same ones don't work the next day. One thing that I noticed worked better this year, is trying to engage in casual conversation with the student as much as you can. Talk about likes, dislikes,.. etc. Who knows, you may have things in common.

    I had a couple of students this year who were driving me nuts. They were constantly interrupting to the point where I couldn't even teach. They were making life very difficult for us. I used to get very tense and stressed just knowing they were coming to school. One day I just started having casual conversations with them in the hallway and I noticed that they relaxed more around me and I did too. I would also compliment them on things I noticed about them and little by little they started to listen more and I started to like them more.

    One of them was really bad at the beginning of the school year. Well, this week he started missbehaving on stage during graduation practice. I pulled him out, I told him about how his behavior was affecting the class. We had been practicing for a long time, we had no AC and we were dealing with 100 heat index temps so I was very upset with him. Then I noticed that he just stood there and took it. It was so shocked that I stopped. He went back and behaved very well. I made a point of recognizing him for his good behavior later on. He even asked me at the end of the day how he'd done. I told him he did great.

    He made my year because he was completely out of control at the beginning of the year and he would not take any correction at all.
     
  14. PEteacher07

    PEteacher07 Cohort

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    Jun 12, 2011

    That is something I try to do is ask their classroom teacher if the behavior is in there too. I sometimes take things personally and so by communicating with the classroom teacher, I have figured out that most of the time, those behaviors are happening in there and its not just me. Many times they are acting that way in computers/art/music too.

    I like that idea!! It will help them see that I am approachable and that I do care about and what to know their interests and such. I think sometimes kids don't understand that if we as teachers are correcting them, it's not b/c we want to pick on them. It's b/c we care about them and want them to succeed.

    You are definitely right about that part. I try to keep the mindset about what my gym class would look like if a parent walked in or my principal walked in. Or if a kid went home and told their parents about what I told them.

    I take an entire grade level to PE everyday and that 45 minutes of class is planning time for the grade level so I won't send a kid back to class. If there are kiddos staying in, its b/c they need to do makeup work. If I have a kid who is pretty out of line, sometimes what I do is have them walk laps around our track by themselves for a while if the whole class is outside playing. It's boring, and probably a little lonely when they are watching everyone else playing and having fun together, but it's exercise and it's a consequence.


    :thanks: so much everyone for your suggestions. My personality as a teacher is pretty forward and very animated. If I have a kid do something like break a PR on their mile time, you will see me jumping up and down and yelling yahoo! I don't want to change that part of me b/c the kids really respond to praise. But I don't want to get overly animated when the situation is heading in the other direction :thumb:
     
  15. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Jun 13, 2011

    Kids ususally have reason for misbehaviour. Finding out what it is and taking care of the reason can work miracles. I once had a pregnant student who was assigned to changing diapers. She was being a brat about it. A light when on in my head, and I told her I would show her how to change a diaper. Yes, she did not know how to change a diaper. Instead of asking for help, she just rebelled.
     
  16. Mrs_B

    Mrs_B Comrade

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    Jun 13, 2011

    I would suggest you read Teaching with Love and Logic. I hate when my principal hands me a book when I go to her for advice but really, give this one a read. Changing MY thinking really helped me to change how I reacted to these situations.
     
  17. PEteacher07

    PEteacher07 Cohort

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    Jun 13, 2011

    I will look up that book. Thanks for the suggestion.
     

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