what's a nice way to say...

Discussion in 'General Education' started by HufflePuff, Nov 3, 2011.

  1. HufflePuff

    HufflePuff Cohort

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    Nov 3, 2011

    A student has an attitude problem! lol I am doing report card comments and I am trying to find a way to say that this girl can be stuck up and rude to people.
     
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  3. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I'm not sure you can say it.

    No matter how you phrase it, it's going to look as though you don't like the girl.

    And, once again, I'm out of my element here, but is that something that teachers should be grading anyway?

    I think that if it's a real problem, it's best said face to face to the parents. That way, they can't quote you out of context, and they can hear the concern in your voice as you work together on solutions.
     
  4. HufflePuff

    HufflePuff Cohort

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    I will be conferencing with them no matter what...but even then, I wouldn't know how to get that across without it seeming harsh. The parents say she has no friends and this is why.
     
  5. HufflePuff

    HufflePuff Cohort

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    It's not part of her grade, but it's something her parents should be aware of. We are always expected to put social concerns on report cards, too.
     
  6. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    We are expected to put citizenship comments on progress reports and report cards in my district, too.

    I would leave it simple, like "inappropriate behavior" and give the details at the conference. I wouldn't say anything about the student being "stuck up" because I think that's too subjective and it sounds mean. I'd stick to the facts and give observations rather than conclusions.
     
  7. EdEd

    EdEd Aficionado

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    Agreed that it should be communicated - not sure about the report card. I'd err on the side of not. My thought would be to be specific about the behaviors you're seeing without labeling them. For example...

    Label: Janice has an attitude problem.

    Behavior: Janice sometimes responds to teacher comments in a sarcastic tone.

    Either way you're reporting bad news, but with the "behavioral" approach you remove any of your own judgement or summary, which can be a little more neutral.

    Of course, also having a lot of other things to report - positive and neutral - can be helpful as well and will lessen you seeming to be only focusing on the negative.
     
  8. HufflePuff

    HufflePuff Cohort

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    I would never actually say "stuck up" but it's the best way to describe how she behaves. I like your idea EdEd, especially using the word "sarcastic". That's what I'm looking for...other ways to say that gets short with people which makes them not want to be friends with her. Maybe something along the lines of losing patience?
     
  9. EdEd

    EdEd Aficionado

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    Getting short with someone is what I would call "verbal aggression" - while that's still a label sort of, it's a descriptive category at least. So, maybe something like, "Sometimes when others kids say things to her, she responds to those kids with verbally aggressive comments." You could be even more specific and talk about how those comments were verbally aggressive if wanted - so, if she were "getting short," it could be "she responds to others comments in a critical way, or usually says something negative in response to peer statements."

    One other thought - always keep reminding parents why you are concerned - not just that you are offended or that the student has violated some rule (though they have), but because it will ultimately hurt THAT student - so, you aren't concerned because you don't like Janice, because Janice is hurting other kids, or because Janice isn't disrupting your teaching (though those things are true nevertheless), but because it's hurting Janice and her opportunities for developing friendships with others in the class.

    You could also ask the parents "for some help with an issue you are having" - which phrases it in such a way that you are only bringing it up because you want to help their daughter, and you are also siding with the parents against the common "enemy" of the behavior problem - in other words, it isn't you vs. parents or you vs. Janice, but you, parents, & Janice vs. the behavior problem - it's called externalizing the problem, which can be helpful in conversations.
     
  10. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Even if I tend to put citizenship comments on a report card, I would not put this one. I would meet with the parent instead.
     
  11. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    Can you describe the 'attitude' for us? What behaviors exactly are you seeing? Is she trying to be friends but doesn't know ho? Is she trying to control social situations? How does she interact with teachers?
     
  12. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    I once had the child of a wealthy well known community member. The daughter, who was so sweet, began throwing her weight around. Since I knew the parents, I did tell them. They were happy to know, and wanted to deal with it.
     
  13. agdamity

    agdamity Fanatic

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    Give the parents examples to back up what you say. For example, repeat a conversation she had with another student (without naming names) to demonstrate why she is having difficulty making friends. Make sure everything is stated neutrally without your opinion on what is happening.
     
  14. jteachette

    jteachette Comrade

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    My line for this on comments is:

    _____________needs to be kinder to her friends.


    and then exactly what they are doing is discussed at conferences.
     
  15. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I think I would ask for a conference with the parents and the child.

    Explain that you've noticed the problems she's been having making friends, and that you want everyone to work together to change the behaviors that are causing an issue. Start by asking her what she thinks is wrong, and go from there.
     
  16. callmebob

    callmebob Enthusiast

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    It is perfectly acceptable to say that the student has a poor attitude and is rude to other students. Now, as others have said, it might be better to use those words in person and not on the actual report card.
     
  17. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    If you tell the parent and the parent doesn't know what to do to help the child, what will you suggest? What if the family doesn't see the comments as rude or "stuck up" so they would have no idea how to help?

    I think when we provide parents with comments like this and no resources, it ends up causing animosity and doesn't really help. What is the school doing to help with the child's social skills - counselor "lunch bunches" that will help the child with tone of voice, word choice, understanding how things come across to others?

    I don't know many kids that want no friends. More often than not it happens because of some form of social skills deficit which parents may not be able to help with. They too may have similar problems.
     
  18. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Nov 4, 2011

    Perhaps say what you'd like to see more of. "I'd like to see more sincerity, humbleness, and warmth toward classmates" for example.
     
  19. brians1024

    brians1024 Rookie

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    Nov 4, 2011

    How about something like, "Needs to work on improving in social situations?"
     
  20. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    I can see why you may put something on the report card...as we all know it is important to document everything. It may not be what we want to do, but it should be there if that is a major concern for you and for her parents/child to know about.
    I like Brian's comment. Or something like social skills need to be improved upon.
     
  21. jen12

    jen12 Devotee

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    Maybe that she "continues to work on the skill of empathy when interacting with other students" or "is working on conducting herself in a positive manner in interactions with other students so that her comments are not received in a negative manner."
     
  22. EMonkey

    EMonkey Connoisseur

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    Nov 5, 2011

    I might say the child needs to work on the tone of voice he/she is expressing her/his opinions with.
     
  23. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

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    I'm sorry-- which part do you want clarification for?
     

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