What would you think?

Discussion in 'Elementary Education' started by gab, Sep 4, 2009.

  1. gab

    gab Comrade

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    Sep 4, 2009

    Last night at OH a parent told me that I would need to sit and hold her son when she dropped him off at school or he would go after her. First I said Oh. Then I told her I was not comfortable with the idea of having to restrain him. Then he'll go after me she said and that last year's teacher did and he did better than if she hadn't held him. He was at a different school last year and I get that this is a big change...I mentioned that to her as well.

    So I asked if he would be riding the bus eventually. She said yes and it would only be like that with him for a few weeks. He's just really shy she said as he is plopping up on his desk to sit followed with reaching for the markers on the white board so he could draw.

    I mentioned that he might be fine if he was busy/distracted by the neighbor student who is also in my class. She had already asked that her son's desk be moved to sit next to him which I did. I told her we'd figure something out but I wasn't comfortable holding him. Not to mention that I would have 26 other students arriving who would also need my attention.

    Then she mentioned her son's previous teacher had told her to request me. So, I asked what school they had attended. She told me and I told her I was unfamiliar with that teacher. She was a bit perplexed and said: She said you were friends. I said, the names not familiar but I meet lots of teachers at our trainings. No, she said you were friends. It clicked that another 2nd grade teacher worked with that teacher several years ago. Yikes! She said: I have him in the wrong room. Well, she ended up going to both the principal and social worker to discuss the situation.

    She was looking for support for the separation time but I don't know what makes parents think that just because 1 teacher did something a certain way that that will be the way all people work. It boggles me a bit. What would you think? Do? School starts next Tuesday.
     
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  3. DrivingPigeon

    DrivingPigeon Phenom

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    Sep 4, 2009

    Don't you need some sort of training to restrain a child? I would NEVER EVER touch a child. However, the special ed aides and teachers can restrain special ed children.
     
  4. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Actually, if the child is running off and it was needed, I probably would do it especially if I had permission to do so. It depends on the age though. I wouldn't use it as a first resort though. I would try to work in some other solution first.

    I do actually have training though to restrain a kid. I get that training every two years. I've never actually used it.
     
  5. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Sep 4, 2009

    We are unable to restrain a student without training; this is something our administration stresses with us every year. Even with the training, it is only to be used to prevent harm to the child or others, not to prevent running. I would be sure to explain that to the parent.

    I hope that you are able to resolve this situation.
     
  6. BioAngel

    BioAngel Science Teacher - Grades 3-6

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    Sep 4, 2009

    Back in high school, my school had a special program called Child Development where, with the supervision of a teacher, we learned to run a daycare with children ages 3-5. Each student was assigned a child to care for during the period we had that class (each child ended up with about 3 students to care for him or her).

    Mine ended up being VERY attached to me--- to the point of where at the end of the period she'd start crying and trying to hug me as I was leaving for my next class. Some days I would sit awhile longer with her and give her a hug and I still think if a young child needs a sign of affection, such as a hug and then initiate it, then there's nothing wrong with it. There were times where the teacher in the classroom would have to hold the hand of the child, while she was crying, so I could leave for my next class. Other times we would try to distract her with something, so I could slip out of the room.

    This prior school year, I remember one of my 5th graders crying in the hallway. I sat down with her and asked her what was wrong, but she just started crying harder. Then another 5th grade class came out into the hallway and they crowded around the two of us, making her more upset. Something, sorta like an instinct, made me give her a hug then--- not normally something I would do but when a child is clearly that upset I can't just do nothing and I told the class to get going to where they needed to be and then walked to her to my homeroom.

    My point is that sometimes a child will have to be comforted--- maybe they need a hug or to hold your hand. I don't think that there is anything wrong with it as long as you're not forcing the child or hurting the child. By the sounds like this, yes the Mom sounds like perhaps she'd like you to hold the child even if he doesn't want to be held which I would be cautious about. But if the child is comforted in that situation and the Mom can leave, then I wouldn't worry about doing what the Mom suggested.
     
  7. shouldbeasleep

    shouldbeasleep Enthusiast

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    Sep 5, 2009

    "restrain" is different from "hug".
     
  8. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    Sep 5, 2009

    Did she take the kid out of your class?
     
  9. Pencil Monkey

    Pencil Monkey Devotee

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    Sep 5, 2009

    could you close your door so he can't run out of the room until she is long gone?
     
  10. shouldbeasleep

    shouldbeasleep Enthusiast

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    Sep 5, 2009

    It would also be upsetting to other children to see a child being restrained.

    I think I'd tell my friend that kids get moved out of classrooms because of parent requests all the time (even if it doesn't happen that much in your school it happens elsewhere), and that it obviously doesn't have anything to do with her teaching.

    If he stays, tell her to stand firm.,,no restraining him. Mom will have to come up with a different solution to her "neediness". Principal or guidance counselor can be on hand at the car rider's door if needed. (The parent doesn't need to get out of the car, either.) Our counselor and a few other special areas teachers are stationed at the front door the first few days of school for those reluctant kindergartners. They handle it just fine without restraining.
     
  11. bros

    bros Phenom

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    Sep 5, 2009

    I had child development during HS.

    Quite the fun class.

    The little girl who liked to partner up with me liked my help a lot (even if I had trouble due to my coordination issues). She was reallly good at puzzles and one time she told me she loved my help :p

    One time the teacher had to restrain one of the little kids because his mom REALLY had to leave and couldn't drop him back off at home and get a babysitter.
     
  12. Lynnnn725

    Lynnnn725 Connoisseur

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    Sep 5, 2009

    notify counselor and administration and see what they recommend.
     

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