I am flip-flopping on how to handle a situation with a third grade student of mine. He is a bright kid, but I am completely annoyed by him. He spent the first 2 years of his education at a school where there were basically no rules. He hums, bounces around in his seat, chirps like a bird, and makes farting noises. He doesn't appear to do it with the intent to annoy, so I try to be understanding. I know this boy is being raised in a "free to be you and me" kind of environment at home. He gets his work done when he works independently. I know that I tend to be easily distracted, so I had thought it was my problem and I should try to ignore it. However, he's annoying his classmates too! They often complain about his noises. The one day he's been absent this year they commented on how quiet the classroom was without him. He hangs on people and pokes them. I have been careful to remind him about appropriate behavior in private so as not to make him the scapegoat of the classroom, but he seems to be becoming one in spite. I have contact with his father weekly through a behavior book (all students have them) and also progress reports. Despite my comments, I just get a signature and no feedback. I admit I am hesitant to call dad because I can understand that this kind of behavior might not be seen as a problem at home. I don't want to get in an argument over values. So...what to do? How to walk the line between keeping him from disrupting his classmates and knowing that some of us just have odd idiosyncracies? When I do contact his dad, how can I approach this diplomatically? I don't want to be the teacher that he looks back on as "Yeah, that teacher was awful. She just didn't understand me." Thanks!
Teach him about home behavior and school behavior. It can be fine to have more loose rules at home, but basically any classroom will have the basics. He should learn them now, in a caring way!
He needs to understand there are rules to follow at school and dad needs to understand this also. If you are not going to let the other kids act this way then he should not be able to either.
While he is learning your rules, is there a place he can sit sort of away from the other students so he doesn't distract them as much?
I think it's really important to teach kids 'social skills'-things that may be different than home that are just EXPECTED by society. My student loves to sing and dance, and I had to tell her firmly, but kindly, that the post office is not the right place to act out the musical she saw on Friday. Totally fine for the kitchen. Not the post office. I simply stop whatever we're doing, tell her what I need to tell her, and then we move on. If she does it again, I simply say 'is that what we do here?', and she just knows. Her house is a very free-to-be-me house, but it's not going to fly when we're in public.
The reassurance that my attitude about this is okay is just what I needed! Thanks for your input. I feel like I'm picking on the kid but it's not like I'm calling him out on things he isn't doing. It helps to know I'm not alone in thinking this is unacceptable behavior. Oh, and about sitting him away from the others - I don't have a side desk, but when we move seats I am going to put him at one of the tables that is up against the wall, so he will be boxed in on one side. Maybe that will help curb the body movements! Also, when we are on the carpet during whole group instruction I might find a spot at a table for him. I'm thinking I will write up an offical classroom improvement plan to address these issues in case his dad has a problem with him being separated.
How about making him a small checklist of things that are ok at home, but not appropriate for the classroom. He could keep it in a folder and maybe each week work on curbing1-2 behaviors that are causing problems.
I have a kid who makes war type noises. I just want to tell him that the war is over. Just kidding! I ignore him as best as I can. Some kids learn better that way and it will be extremely hard to stop this type of behavior. My students are pretty good at ignoring him.
I think you and your students should collaboratively make a rule chart with rules on how they feel students should behave in class. You could guide the conversation to make sure it doesn't end up in left field. I think it's important for them to have a say in the rules. Also, try praising everyone around the child and ignoring the one is "annoying". I've done this before and ended up with positive results.
