What to do about a Creepy Neighbor??

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by FallCreekGal82, Oct 15, 2007.

  1. FallCreekGal82

    FallCreekGal82 Companion

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    Oct 15, 2007

    So I relocated for a teaching job about 3 weeks ago. Neighbor that lives above me in the apt building was nice and introduced himself. However, now he's getting a little weird for me. Walked in from teaching Friday night, 5 minutes after I walked into my apt there was a knock on the door. Was on the phone and didn't answer. He kept on knocking...so I got off the phone and answered. He wanted to invite me to hang out with himself, his friends, and his daughter on Sunday and watch the football game. Then Sunday I was out running errands (partly to avoid him), got back, unloaded my car, and was putting stuff away when there was a knock at the door. Literally I had just walked in. So he knocked a total of 3 or 4 times before giving up and and going away. I refuse to answer my door, but I should not be bothered every time I walk into the building. I'm afraid he's gonna start running down the stairs and I won't have time to get into apt to avoid him. ADVICE PLEASE!!
     
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  3. mrs.teacher5

    mrs.teacher5 Companion

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    Oct 15, 2007

    Sometimes you have to be a bit blunt..and if not make up an excuse "I do not think that my boyfriend would be comfortable with me hanging out with you." Hopefully he will get the hint.
     
  4. cosmoteach

    cosmoteach Rookie

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    Oct 15, 2007

    I agree- if you are not comfortable telling him in a blunt manner, make up an excuse. The boyfriend one is good-he may not take it personally and will hopefully get the hint! Good luck!
     
  5. shantroy

    shantroy Rookie

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    Oct 15, 2007

    The boyfriend excuse is a good one. I used it once in a simalar situtation. It work until the creepy dude made a comment in passing about never seeing my bf, and did I make him up? Talk about an awkward moment....
     
  6. mstemple05

    mstemple05 Cohort

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    Oct 15, 2007

    LOOOOOOOOOOL.

    Well until shan said that, i'd say the bf thing would work. But it still sounds like a good idea. And even if he doesn't see this bf, i'd say he would get the point that you just did it to avoid him.......
     
  7. FallCreekGal82

    FallCreekGal82 Companion

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    Oct 15, 2007

    Thanks for the help! I also try to be on the cellphone constantly when I enter/exit the building. Whether I'm really on a call or not...doesn't matter.
     
  8. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

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    Oct 15, 2007

    Say a lot of 'honey I love you' and 'I miss you too' when you are "on" your cell phone talking to your "boyfriend". And make sure you press talk when you are pretending to be on your cell phone - you don't want it to ring :p.
     
  9. mstemple05

    mstemple05 Cohort

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    Oct 15, 2007

    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.

    i was JUST thinking that!! @ least have it on vibrate or silent!
     
  10. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Oct 15, 2007

    You shouldn't have to live this way though where you're constantly out "running errands", pretending to talk on the cell phone, etc., etc., yet I wouldn't be too mean or blunt if I were you. The world isn't safe & there's a lot of weirdos/perverts/crazies out there who could snap & go beserk at any second. I'd err on the side of caution since he lives so close to you.

    Be as nice as possible when you blow him off. If he ever asks why you didn't answer your door or wave back when he waved at you the other day or whatever else, tell him that you have things on your mind & not to take it personally. Tell him that you really don't have time for any more new people in your life because your life is pretty full (not that you owe him any explanations).

    Also, it wouldn't hurt to have as many MALE (physically large) friends as possible hanging around to show him that you're pretty occupied w/o him.

    Keep us posted how things go!
     
  11. FallCreekGal82

    FallCreekGal82 Companion

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    Oct 15, 2007

    I'm gonna have to find some male friends. I just moved the area...my hometown is 5 hours from here. LOL! I will have to keep the cellphone on silent. Hehe. I left a voicemail for a friend earlier tonight saying...hey baby...just calling to see how you were. Miss you. Call me when you get a chance. Anyway, she will get a good laugh, as she knows the situation. When I got to the apt I called and left her another one saying I hope she liked the cheap entertainment.
     
  12. eduk8r

    eduk8r Enthusiast

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    Oct 15, 2007

    You should just smile and say, "oh, that's nice, but no thank you." And then keep going wherever you're going. Just be polite but firm, like you are in your classroom when you want to stop a behavior.
     
  13. FallCreekGal82

    FallCreekGal82 Companion

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    Oct 17, 2007

    Update

    So I got into tonight after a day of teaching...and what to my surprise do I hear at my door? Knocking....3 knocks and 1 large bang...for a total of 4 attempts to get me to answer the door. Take the hint the first time...I'm not answering. I've been wearing a ring on my ring finger as well now. Hahaha...and keep being on the cell as I walk in and out of the building. I'm hoping to have a guy friend that lives in the area over soon. Then maybe he will leave me alone.
     
  14. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    Oct 17, 2007

    Fall Creek, I haven't read all of the posts, but is there a manager of your building that you can talk to? Just be safe!!!
     
  15. FallCreekGal82

    FallCreekGal82 Companion

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    Oct 17, 2007

    Yeah, however, he's a little old man. I'm just a bit creeped out by him. Told me all about his ex-wife the day I met him...just weird.
     
  16. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    Oct 17, 2007

    Please be careful. I has a neighbor that stalked me. One night my husband made an emergency trip and things got real weird. If this keeps up, ask him to please pack off. Then keep record of the events. If it continues and you still feel threatened, make a police report. If you are over reacting, that we scare him away.
     
  17. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Oct 17, 2007

    So the apt manager as well as the male neighbor is creepy too! How did you find out about this apt complex? Are there any sane, seemingly normal, female tenants that are around your age at all? If so, how are they?

    If I were you, I'd slowly want to start finding another place to live. My concern would be that since this male neighbor seems to know every move you make, he'd of course see the moving truck & probably follow behind you to see where you move next.

    In the meantime, get some protection. I'd get pepper spray, an alarm where it goes off if the front door moves, etc.

    Good luck & be safe & alert.
     
  18. FallCreekGal82

    FallCreekGal82 Companion

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    Oct 18, 2007

    Sorry....should have checked my wording. Apt manager is a nice old man. Not in the best health...his wife does most of the running on the buildings. I will definately start looking this spring for a different place...would like to look into a townhouse or something where it's somewhat separate from other people. Would like to have a dog sometime too.
     
  19. BioAngel

    BioAngel Science Teacher - Grades 3-6

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    Oct 18, 2007

    Just say that you're a teacher---you have a hectic schedule and your job is your priority at this time. While you appreciate the gesture of him trying to make you feel welcome, you're just starting a new job and you do not get alot of hanging out time. Whatever time you do have, you have errands, family and friends to catch up with, and personal relaxation time.

    You also might want to check with other neighbors to see if he does this with everybody or just you. If it's just you, it could be he likes you but I would be careful still.
     
  20. mstemple05

    mstemple05 Cohort

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    Oct 18, 2007

    I agree with everyone who says to be careful with your wording AND with your moves. If he's truly crazy you don't want to startle him & 'set him off' yet you NEED to get your point across.

    I'm not confrontational, but when it comes to people doing things like that and being annoying, I just put on the irritated face. And let them see it. That way they can't ever say you never told them or that your intentions/messages aren'r or weren't clear. If your face is 'ugly' enough, they'll back off. Worst case scenario (and i'm a jerk, so i LOVE to make ppl who just don't get the hint feel stupid) tell him 'look, i tried to be nice about it because I didn't want to hurt your feelings. I don't answer the door when you knock 29175093830984902317098342 times (yes exaggerate the number). I thought you would get it. BUT, since you don't, let me tell you now. very clearly. i'm not interested. no thank you. leave me alone. leave me be. don't stop past here on your way up or down. i'm ok. i appreciate your friendliness, but you've gone too far and have taken it to the extreme & next level now to the point where you're annoying, bothering & frustrating me. please stop. and please let this be the last time i have to be this way towards you. the next time it will be the cops giving you this speech giving you nice shiny silver bracelets."

    Say it, mean it, own it. And you don't have to say it real 'stank'-like, but just in the firm/stern way that you would speak to your students. Need help or practice? P/M or IM me on aim... I dealt with an annoying 64 y/o neighbor who used to come around with his dog. And although my bf and i had problems, i still made sure to bring him up and i made PLENTY of 'ugly' faces. Kept the convos short. Made him feel like he was wasting my time with his 'stories'. Sometimes... you gotta be that way. People just don't understand. They've never heard 'NO' before. You may have to be that first no.

    Wish you well......
     
  21. moonbeamsinajar

    moonbeamsinajar Habitué

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    Oct 18, 2007

    I think you should tell him that you are too busy training for the competion for black belt karate experts, and then ask if he has ever heard of the really cool move where if you hit the person on the head the right way, they could die of a cerebral brain hemorrhage? Tell him that is the move that your boyfriend is helping you learn right now. Then tell him that your boyfriend learned it when he was in the Special Forces Unit of the Marine Corps. That should scare him away!
     
  22. corps2005

    corps2005 Cohort

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    Oct 18, 2007

    Esh, I'm always leery of people that continously approach me. I would really watch this guy. I would go as far as making sure that you do not open the apartment door if he is outside. You would not want him to force his way inside. He may be nice now, but his pushiness indicates that he won't take "no" for an answer.

    I had a neighbor who continously tried to "help" and would hang out outside the apartment or come outside when I got home. I'm clearly married, but he would always make himself seen. It got to the point that I felt uncomfortable opening my apartment door because of the horror stories of women getting raped because someone forces their way inside.

    Luckily, I made a complaint and apparently others had made complaints as well. They evicted him thank goodness. I'm still leery though. If I see someone outside the apartment, I will wait in my car until they go inside before I open my door.

    We're moving to a house soon though :) Yay!

    Just be careful. People are not as nice as they appear.
     
  23. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Oct 22, 2007

    I like this answer! In fact, it's so beneficial to take some kind of self defense class anyway. I did once. I'd love to take karate & go all the way to getting a black belt.
     
  24. FallCreekGal82

    FallCreekGal82 Companion

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    Oct 22, 2007

    My mom has been telling me that I need to take a self defense class. I need to look into it once I get a breather. Moving and starting a teaching job in a week...it takes a little while to get settled in. I think this is about my third or fourth week. So things are finally coming together. And the neighbor has been gone the last couple days....so no knocking! Woohoo!
     

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