What should I do?

Discussion in 'Behavior Management' started by FPC DJ, Dec 27, 2007.

  1. FPC DJ

    FPC DJ Rookie

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2007
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 27, 2007

    Hi.
    I work with three-and-four-year-olds at the preschool at my church. We were out on the playground one day, and one of the boys saw my mom smoking. A few minutes later I was standing at the door, and he grabbed one of his friends and they both came up to me and said, "Smoking kills you." Then they ran off. He didn't say anything after that, but as soon as we went inside he ran up to the other teacher and told her that my mom was going to die because she smokes. So, every now and then he asks me weird stuff, like has she had her lungs cleaned out. My issue isn't necessarily with the questions, it's where he is hearing these things. I suspect his dad, because I know his father and know how intense this man is about various subjects.
    Any way, I was wondering how I should approach these situations. I don't want to tell him to stop talking about it, because it's good that he knows that smoking is bad. On the other hand, I'm tired of him, with some prodding from his father, lecturing me about the dangers of smoking.
    Any advise would be much appreciated, considering I'm only 17.

    DJ
     
  2.  
  3. kindernj123

    kindernj123 Companion

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2007
    Messages:
    203
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 27, 2007

    I would thank him for caring about your mom and that you wish she would stop smoking, too. And that you have told her the dangers of smoking and that she is a grown up and still won't listen. And, then hopefully, he will lay off of you because he knows you feel the same way he does.
    I might also just ignore him after answering a first question- reminding him you are aware of the dangers of smoking.
     
  4. FPC DJ

    FPC DJ Rookie

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2007
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 28, 2007

    Thank you very much for the advice. I think I'm more likely to ignore him, I just need to work on using a tone that doesn't sound irritated to the point of making him cry. Of course, he's about to start Kindergarten, maybe he is old enough to handle it.
     
  5. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2001
    Messages:
    24,959
    Likes Received:
    2,116

    Dec 28, 2007

    The child may not be reacting because of his father- kids are taught that smoking is a drug and that drugs will kill you. I have second graders every year who get riled up by the smoking/drugs conversation. I tell the kids who get upset bout smoking that if they have a relative that smokes that they should let that person know that they love them, they want them to be healthy and that they wish they wouldn't smoke. I also tell them that quitting is very difficult and that THEY shouldn't start because it is a health issue.

    Why was your mom smoking at the playground? Young kids are very impressionable and it should be a school policy that smoking not be done on school grounds/where kids can see.

    kindernj123 gave great advice. Stay positive, don't let the kids get under your skin, but do realize that they are concerned- not trying to bug you. Smoking can be scary to kids (and should be to adults as well....)
     
  6. FPC DJ

    FPC DJ Rookie

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2007
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 28, 2007

    Well, she wasn't at the playground, she was just outside the building. There is a part of the playground that wraps around the other classrooms, and they could see where she was standing. We weren't at a school, it was at our church.
    It's not the fact that my mom hasn't tried quitting either. She has tried everything short of hypnosis.
    The reason I believe that this kid's father may be the driving force behind it is, this little boy was four at the time. I have never met a preschool teacher who flat out tells their children that if you smoke you will die. I work with his preschool teacher, and I have asked her if she has told her students that, and she basically said that she tells them that smoking is bad and unhealthy, but she has never said that it kills you. Also, like I said, I know his father. By the age of two he was running around telling everybody that candy and soda will kill you. When we asked him who told him that, he said "Daddy".

    I'm trying not to let it bug me. It might just be that I've still got the 17-year-old attitude going on a little bit.
     
  7. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2005
    Messages:
    4,896
    Likes Received:
    5

    Dec 28, 2007

    The child speaks the truth... I would just acknowledge the child's comments, say thank you and get past it. My brother at 4 years old told someone at the mall that smoking kills you. My mother just told him that the man already knew it and than talked to him about what was appropriate to tell other people.
     
  8. FPC DJ

    FPC DJ Rookie

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2007
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 28, 2007

    Would it be appropriate for me to talk to him about what is appropriate to say to other people?
     
  9. Leikela

    Leikela Companion

    Joined:
    May 17, 2006
    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 28, 2007

    If you know the father, perhaps you could talk directly to him about it? Tell him that his child will not stop making comments about seeing your Mother smoking. Make it clear that you get the picture and you want it to stop. Maybe the Father will talk to his son. Worth a try!
     
  10. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2007
    Messages:
    14,606
    Likes Received:
    2,714

    Dec 28, 2007

    If you smoke, you will die. More than that, you'll probably take down a few people with you by means of secondhand smoke.

    Don't scold this child for looking out for your mom and others who may be subjected to her secondhand smoke. Instead, thank him for his concern, acknowledge that smoking is bad, and leave it at that.

    And tell your mom not to smoke around kids.
     
  11. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    6,291
    Likes Received:
    283

    Dec 28, 2007

    no smoking in public 2008

    Illinois will be a no-smoking state in '08!

    I have to admit, I never had, and never cared for smokers. Sorry if I offended anyone, but I think a personal passion to inhale smoke should be done in the privacy and comfort of your own home.

    I have dodged secondhand smoke in restaurants, parks, and even outside the laundry mat. People who have this habit don't realize or care how much it damages the things around us. What is the point in me washing clothes to have you coat them with cigarette smoke?!

    So, teachers have long been outlawed for taking a smoke break on the playground. We don't get extra breaks! why do smokers get an extra break? I have always felt this just isn't fair.

    and the health hazzards are worse than the obviously safety issues. a smoker does not realize or take into account what could happen when he/she is smoking outside or near a school. Once they return to the class, they are engulfed in smoke, and every child they interact with must breathe this stuff.

    I know you don't want to sound like some lame after-school special, but you are a teacher, and a model for your kids. You can agree that smoking is not a good thing. (it is the only legalized habit that has absolutely no benefits). You can say you are concerned for your Mom (which I am sure you are)

    but you can also say your Mom is an adult, and sometimes adults chose to do things that everyone is not happy about.

    that pretty much says it all.

    you are not lying, but you are not evading him either.

    I would not be surprise if his parents did not pay a visit to the director, and ask about smoking on school property.

    Which, will probably have your Mom make second thoughts about her secondhand smoke.

    you are wiser than your years..IMO!
     
  12. FPC DJ

    FPC DJ Rookie

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2007
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 29, 2007

    Wiser than my years, huh? Thanks for that :)
    It might not sound like it, but I am taking into consideration everything all of you are saying. You are, after all, the real deal. So, if I sound like I'm arguing with you, feel free to straighten me out, that's how I learn.

    Anyway, if the boy brings it up tomorrow I go ahead and say something to him.
    Thanks everybody.
     
  13. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    6,291
    Likes Received:
    283

    Dec 29, 2007

    YW!

    oh don't worry...we do plenty of straightening out and straightening up around here! :D

    but we are on vacation, so we are kinda laid back,
    until next year...that is!! :p

    Hang in there...If your heart is in the right place, the words will always come out right.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. sairam
Total: 309 (members: 4, guests: 274, robots: 31)
test