What not to do during an interview! Caution: Long, but funny!

Discussion in 'Job Seekers' started by fratbrats, Aug 9, 2007.

  1. fratbrats

    fratbrats Comrade

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    Aug 9, 2007

    I figured this board needed some humor, since some of us job seekers are a little "blue" right now. When you get that next interview....here's some tips of what not to do.

    Applicant claimed to be so well qualified that if he didn't get the job, it would prove the company's management was incompetent.
    Applicant stretched out on the floor to fill out the job application.
    Applicant brought her large dog to the interview.
    Applicant chewed bubble gum and constantly blew bubbles.
    Applicant kept giggling through serious interview.
    Applicant wore a Walkman, claiming she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.
    Balding applicant abruptly excused himself and returned to the office a few minutes later, wearing a hairpiece.
    Applicant challenged the interviewer to arm wrestle.
    Applicant asked to see the interviewer's resume to see if the personnel executive was qualified to interview him.
    Applicant announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and french fries during the interview.
    Without saying a word, applicant stood up and walked out during the middle of the interview.
    Applicant wore a jogging suite to interview for the position of financial vice-president. (Yes, dress codes are getting more casual. But please.)
    Applicant asked interviewer if he would put on a suit jacket to ensure the offer was formal.
    Applicant said if he were hired, he would demonstrate his loyalty by having the corporate logo tattooed on his forearm.
    Applicant interrupted to phone his therapist for advice on answering specific interview questions.
    Applicant refused to get out of his chair until interviewer agreed to hire him. Interviewer had to call the police to have him removed.
    When asked about his hobbies, applicant stood up and started tap dancing around the interviewer's office.
    Applicant had a miniature pinball game and challenged the interviewer to play with him.
    Applicant bounced up and down on the office carpet and told interviewer she must be highly thought of by the company to get such a thick carpet.
    Applicant removed a hairbrush from the interviewer's purse, brushed his hair, and left.
    Applicant pulled out a Polaroid camera and snapped a flash picture of the interviewer. He claimed to collect photos of everyone who interviewed him.
    Applicant said he wasn't interested because the job paid too much.
    While the interviewer was in the middle of a long-distance call, the applicant took out a copy of a popular men's magazine and looked at the photos only, stopping longest at the centerfold.
    During the interview, an alarm clock went off in the applicant's briefcase. He took it out, shut it off, apologized, and said he had to leave for another interview.
    A telephone call came in for the job applicant. His side of the conversation went as follows: "Which company? When do I start? What's the salary?" When the interviewer said he assumed the applicant was not interested in completing the interview, he promptly responded "I am as long as you'll pay me more." The interviewer did not hire him, and later found out there was no other job offer--it was a scam to get a better offer.
    Applicant arrived wearing only one shoe, and explained the other was stolen off her foot on the bus.
    Applicant's attache case opened when he picked it up and the contents spilled, revealing women's undergarments and assorted makeup and perfume.
    Applicant came to the interview with a moped and left it in the reception area. He didn't want it to get stolen, and stated he would require indoor parking for the moped if he were hired. He wasn't.
    Applicant removed his right shoe and sock, removed a medicated foot powder, and dusted it on the sole of his foot and in the shoe. While he was putting the shoe and sock back on, he mentioned he had to use the powder four times a day, and this was the time.
    Applicant said he didn't really want to get a job, but the unemployment office needed proof he was looking for one.
    Applicant whistled while the interviewer was talking.
    Applicant asked who the "lovely babe" in the picture was. When the interviewer said it was his wife, applicant asked if she was home now and wanted the interviewer's phone number. The interviewer called security.
    Applicant threw up on the interviewer's desk and immediately started asking questions about the job, like nothing had happened.
    Pointing to a black case he'd carried into the interviewer's office, applicant stated if he were not hired, the bomb would go off. Disbelieving, the interviewer began to state why applicant would never be hired and that he was going to call the police. The applicant then reached down to the case, flipped a switch, and ran. No one was injured, but the interviewer did have to get a new desk.
    Applicant sits down in interviewer's office, leans back, puts his feet on her desk, and proceeds to tell her why he should have her job

    Hope you enjoyed this. I did!:lol:
     
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  3. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Aug 9, 2007

    Did someone make these up or are they for real?
     
  4. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Aug 9, 2007

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: thanks for the laugh!!!
     
  5. fratbrats

    fratbrats Comrade

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    Aug 9, 2007

    This came from the Gradview.com website and this is what they said:

    This list came to us as a survey of top personnel executives from 100 major US corporations—the question was about unusual behavior by job applicants. Whether they're real or not, it's a fun way to illustrate how not to behave.
     
  6. teach123

    teach123 Cohort

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    Aug 9, 2007

    Thanks for the laughs, fratbrats!!!! I really did need some humor in my life!!!!
     
  7. chicagoturtle

    chicagoturtle Fanatic

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    Aug 9, 2007

    Some of those were pretty funny.
     
  8. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Aug 9, 2007

    What a riot.
     
  9. Sub2Teach

    Sub2Teach Companion

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    Aug 9, 2007

    Absolutely hilarious! I needed that, thanks you've brightened up my day!
     
  10. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Aug 10, 2007

    More things you should not do...

    ooh, can I play...I need some cheering up!

    These are real! I did all these things!!!

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    Things you should not do at an interview....

    You came downtown early, and saw a sale, so you arrive at the interview with six shopping bags!

    You wait over 45 minutes in the lobby. You are furious, and impatient. (and risk being late for the next interview!) The interviewer calls you in and as soon as you sit down, he says. "What can I do for you today?" You make a disgusting face, and sigh and respond, "I had an interview scheduled with you, 45 mintues ago!"

    You greet the secretary and she tells you to have a seat. Two minutes later, she hands you an application. You say, "I filled out an application already." She says, "It is our policy, we need you to fill one out in the office." You make a face, and can't help but mutter something, that doesn't sound like thank you! The entire time you fill out the form, you are mumbling, "I did this already!"

    You fill out an application and don't check your info. You are offered the job! During the orientation, the hiring manager says, "We called this number, and it is not a school, it is a library." You say, "Oh, I am sorry, I transposed the numbers." Manager says, "Well, according to our policy this is misrepresentation and therefore you have violated the application, good day."

    The interviewer closes the meeting by asking, "Do you have any other questions?" You say, "How much will I be earning when I start?" Whoa..she says, "That was a loaded question!"

    I thought it was being proactive!

    Last but not least....

    You have 1 hr between interviews. You decide you should eat, because you figure the second interview may go past 3 or 4pm. You go to McDonald's and order a fish sandwich! After you eat, go freshen up, pop a stick of gum in your mouth, and head over to the interview. Get there on time, sit and wait in office. Exactly the moment the interviewer comes out to greet you, you extend your hand, and belch...really loud..and your breath is rather fishy!


    In conclusion...don't shop or eat before, or put your foot in your mouth during an interview!!!
     
  11. teach101

    teach101 Companion

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    Aug 10, 2007

    OMG these are so funny. Definately took my mind off being depressed :)
     
  12. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Aug 10, 2007

    What's even funnier is at least half of these are probably true. That's why I was wondering where they came from.

    I had to interview people to take my place as an office manager at a cardiologist office. Very few came in dressed half way professional. It was amazing. I was suprised to see people with tennis shoes and no socks, a t-shirt untucked and they probably thought they were dressy because they had earrings and nails. I decided what interviews to conduct for the first round. The first question, however, that my doc always asked was "What were they wearing." Makes me thankful I had a dress on when I filled out my application. They were chewing gum, had tons of misspelled words and really thought they were applying for a professional job. It took me 4 months to find someone and I was LEAVING. Even funnier was when I was hired the doctor held two interviews and then did another impromptu one by phone. If I was hard of hearing he was going to find out how I was going to handle his office. Luckily my husband answered because prediction and knowing who I'm talking to is 1/2 my battle. But I had a 2 year degree, an application that probably had good to perfect spelling on it, I looked him in the eye and I was dressed right. No experience needed if I could pass that far. WOW!
     
  13. Master Pre-K

    Master Pre-K Virtuoso

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    Aug 11, 2007

    Oh yeah, all of mine are real!! This is way before I started attending job training workshops. I learned you really have to have yourself mentally and physcially prepared for an interview. And you never accept food, drinks or anything..that is a test!!! :eek:

    I got more!!


    One place was having a company picnic in the parking lot. After the interview, the supervisor invited me to stay. I figured, hey why not! I was starving anyway. They had lots of food, and I had a nice time. But they never called me! Don't know why. After awhile, I didn't worry about it. At least I had a good lunch that day!!!

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    My daugther and I are both guilty of this one...

    Like a typical Chicago commuter, I have my hair wrapped up under my winter hat, and wearing gym shoes while carrying my heels in a bag. Bundled up for our windy weather.

    After leaving the train, I rush to the bathroom of the office building, and perform magic, to change into my wonderfully gorgeous self! A woman comes out of the stall, a looks at me fussing over my hair, and appyling make up. I glance at her, and go on about my business.

    I gather my things, change into my shoes, and head over to the interview. Luckily, the secretary allows me to stash my bag with my shoes in a closet, along with my coat.

    The interviewer comes out to meet me. guess who she is?

    Yep! the lady who saw my playing beauty shop in the bathroom!! :eek:

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    Interview questions that we all hate!

    "Why are you here?"
    What? I need a job! Don't you have my resume in front of you??

    "Tell me about yourself" You know its job related, but don't you really want to brag about how much you really don't do?!

    "Don't you think you're overqualified?"
    Don't you know I know that you know I am overqualified?
    Don't you think I have bills to pay?


    "Do have a few moments? I want to talk to another manager."
    Sure, I have nothing to do? Will you be gone longer than an hour??

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
    And this you will not belive...

    I had an interview scheduled for 4:30 p.m. They kept me there until 10:40 p.m. :eek: That was no interview, that was an unpaid meeting! I should get consulting fees. This lady called in her whole staff, started asking me questions, and well...you know... I started asking them (dummy that I was!) "What about assessments, what about training, how do you handle this and that??"

    I just knew she was going to break and order dinner! :help:

    She made me an offer and the secretary had to retype the letter three times. I thought...secretary in office at 8:45 p.m.--bad sign!

    I only got away because another lady said, "Excuse me, but I will miss my last bus." I was so relieved! I thought that woman was a lunatic! She was talking non-stop!

    Needless to say, I didn't take that job!!! :whistle:
     

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