What gets you through the toughest times in your teaching career?

Discussion in 'Secondary Education' started by LittleShakespeare, Dec 12, 2018.

  1. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    Dec 12, 2018

    Hi, everybody.

    Happy Holidays. :heart: I hope this message finds you well. I kind of wanted to give you an update, and ask for some helpful pointers from fellow teachers, especially those who have survived in a toxic school environment.

    So, I went to see my doctor today. I told her about everything that's going on at school. I told her about the lack of support from my family. I told her how I've been crying myself to sleep every night and my horrific panic attacks on Sunday nights. She told me that I need to get back into therapy. To be honest, I put therapy on the back burner for the past two months, only because I've been working myself to the bone at school and on my PhD applications. She also adjusted my medication; I've been on a low dose ever since my withdrawal this past summer.

    You all have comforted me and given me some solid advice, and I know I'm doing the wrong thing right now. I really hope you won't be mad at me, but I completely understand if you are. And I can truly promise you that I won't be posting about resignation or complaining about this school anymore. You know the tea. :) So, here's my confession: I decided to stay.

    I'm going to pray again about this tonight, and perhaps I'll have a clearer answer tomorrow morning. My decision is truly not what I want to do, but something that I have to do. Here's why:

    1. I'm 28 years old and single. I have no desire whatsoever to get married, even when my culture is pushing it down my throat. I am still living with family because my graduate school loans were too high. I decided to stay at my current school because the solid, steady income will allow me to save some money and possibly buy my dream house. I just needed to eliminate some of my credit card debt first.

    2. My resume looks like this: I worked for two years as a long-term sub at a beautiful suburban school, and then I hope to add another two years working at this urban school. I feel like two years at one school will look much better than a year and some, you know? I know for many potential hiring schools, they might not care, but I'm freaking the hell out about killing my career and leaving a glitch on my resume.

    3. I feel like at this point, it's better and healthier for me to be out of the house than at home with my family. I love them beyond words, but they really don't understand what I'm going through. They have this old mentality that you should never switch jobs.


    I understand these next six months, January to June, are going to be really, really difficult. I'm not sure how I'm going to do it. To be honest, I feel like I've been given a prison sentence that I have to ride out. I'm just scared, you guys. Maybe you can give me some pointers on how I can make it through the storm? And I'm taking this really hard on myself for these reasons:

    1. I'm 28 years old. My twenties are slowly coming to a close. I'll be 29 in June. Am I wasting my life by being unhappy? But what if the matter is out of my hands? I need the job, and I need the money.
    My family says they'll support me no matter what, but I firmly believe that they will be devastated if I leave mid-year.

    2. It's only six months, right? I'm saving up for a beautiful trip to South America next summer. Maybe that will be my reward for surviving hell?


    What can I do to ride out this terrible storm? What especially can I do when my anxiety is insurmountable on Sunday nights and days before winter break ends? How can I make it through the day, even when it's tough, when my Block 6 kids are jumping off the walls and I have to call security, when my VP hates me and fails me during my next observation, when my fellow ELA teachers are all laughing at me and waiting for me to fall on my face?

    Please advise me one last time on this matter on how I can cope. Thank you so much. :heart:
     
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  3. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    Dec 13, 2018

    I know you don't want advice about leaving, but I'm old enough to be your mother, so I'll give you that advice anyways! This job is ruining your health.
    How easy will it be to find another job when you have been non-renewed due to failed observations, as opposed to leaving during the school year on your own terms?
    What is the problem with looking for another job that still allows you to use your skills, but in a different environment (like a museum, a library, a book store, a tutoring company, a school with younger children...)
    Won't you be so much happier if your anxiety is lessened and people you work with and for treat you respectfully?
     
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  4. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    Dec 13, 2018

    Of course. I'm looking into other opportunities. I just didn't want to jump ship until I had something else secured, you know? It's so scary. :(

    But I was advised to resign on April 15th. Our last day of school is June 15th, and the offers for contract renewals (for non-tenured staff) go out on May 15th. I'll resign a month before the contract offers go out. I was always told it's easier to explain resignation than non-renewal.
     
  5. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Dec 14, 2018

    This poster sounds like the poster that constantly asked for advice regarding her family situation but then just did what she wanted. Why bother asking for advice for WEEKS when you're not going to take any advice. Might as well just do what you want and save us all some time.
     
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  6. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    Dec 14, 2018

    I do think that you are making a mistake and that your health (physical and mental) will likely suffer. Please continue to see your doctor and your therapist and take care of YOU.
     
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  7. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    Dec 14, 2018

    If I'm wasting your time, then please do not respond. It's not rocket science. :)

    And it's not that I don't appreciate your advice. Believe me, I want to leave. But I honestly have no other source of income and no other job to jump to, so what else am I supposed to do?
     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2018
  8. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    Dec 14, 2018

    I know. I'm just stuck at this point, trying to get a mortgage and losing my backup job. That's the only reason why I'm staying. But I know I'll be okay. I've survived much worse. Thank you so much for your kind response. :)
     
  9. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    Dec 14, 2018

    ......................
     
  10. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Phenom

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    Dec 14, 2018

    People are responding with good intentions and giving you helpful advice but you're ignoring it. Obviously, this issue is more difficult than rocket science since you're not "getting it".
     
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  11. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    Dec 14, 2018

    So, you're angry with me now because I want an income, to not get sent to collections, and to not possibly end up on the street? Sometimes people have bills and they don't have the choice, so they can't always take the easy way out, even if it's a much better option. I do get it and I want to leave more than anything, but I honestly can't. I have to support myself and my family.

    And honestly, I never did anything but humbly thank those people who have offered me the wonderful advice. Sadly, I cannot take their advice because my fate has changed. I don't have a backup job like I once did three months ago, nor do I have any prospects. The bank job was going to offer me $10 an hour part-time. That is not merely enough to support my rent, my thousands of dollars in students loans, and my credit card debt.

    Not once did I ever lash out against anyone, kind of like what you're doing right now. Perhaps you didn't read my post above? You're a very aggressive and unfriendly person. I'm really sorry for you.
     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2018
  12. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    Dec 14, 2018

    What family?
     
  13. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    Dec 14, 2018

    My parents. My mother just had surgery, and won't be working for a long time. My dad was laid off a few months back. Someone has to help pay the mortgage.
     
  14. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    Dec 14, 2018

    To TeacherNY's defense, you did say you would understand if people were upset with your decision.
     
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  15. LittleShakespeare

    LittleShakespeare Comrade

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    Dec 14, 2018

    Of course. However, there is a big difference between respectfully disagreeing with someone and just being disrespectful for no reason.
     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2018
  16. a2z

    a2z Maven

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    Dec 14, 2018

    If your problem was that you felt the person was being disrespectful, maybe that should have been the issue you complained about rather than complaining that someone was angry. But instead you complained that they were angry.
     
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