What field is your significant other in?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Red Rocket, Feb 27, 2008.

  1. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    2,518
    Likes Received:
    9

    Feb 28, 2008

    iSaint - maybe your wife is having trouble with the changes because of the greater pressure with bringing in the greater income. Plus sometimes it is really hard on a wife to not be home or have the time to make things in the home the way she likes them - laundry done, groceries in order, etc. Even if hubby helps, there can be some guilt and frustration - I know! My hubby helps so much because of my long hours, and it makes me feel guilty and like I can't ever just sit down and waste a little time or read or watch T.V.

    My DH is a minister - his hours are different every day! Sometimes he can be home for the evening, sometimes not. Sometimes he gets emergency calls in the middle of the night. Sometimes he works late into the night counseling, so he will sleep a little later the next day. Some days, I leave before he is up and he comes home after I am asleep!!

    He has gradually become more understanding of the hours my job requires. He thinks it is great I get to have summers off with our kids. Plus, my job provides all of our health care benefits! So he appreciates me working. I try really hard to not bring work home. If I have to stay at work till 6:00, I figure, that is how late a lot of people work. I would rather stay and work so when I get home, even if it is 8:00, I am done with work!!

    My personal choice would be to be a stay at home wife. But I chose to work, and I am thankful I have a job that I love to go to almost every day!
     
  2. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2007
    Messages:
    14,534
    Likes Received:
    2,589

    Feb 28, 2008

    My hoosband works in retail sales at a big store that sells sporting goods (camping, hunting, fitness, clothing, footwear, team sports).

    His hours are all over the board, but we manage to work things out and find time to spend together.
     
  3. teaching mom

    teaching mom Rookie

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2008
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0

    Feb 28, 2008

    my man

    My husband is a "labor" worker. Mostly welding, fabricating (making things like salad bars, industrial food mixers, etc) out of metal. I have the best "meeting him" story. I used to drag my preschooler kicking and screaming to the car every morning. I always thought that I was being watched by the business across the alley. Found out I was. I found a note asking me out for coffee on my windshield! After talking for awhile, I asked why he asked me out then (I had lived there several years and he worked in the business for years). He said that 1. I never hit/beat my daughter, even in the worst temper tantrum and 2. I started to look GOOD because I was GAINING weight! Knew I had to marry a man that wanted me to gain weight. Now I am a healthy 180 lbs!:rolleyes::whistle:
     
  4. Kindergarten31

    Kindergarten31 Cohort

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2007
    Messages:
    500
    Likes Received:
    0

    Feb 28, 2008

    Before my hubby retired, he was an auto mechanic. I used to laugh that I saved more money marrying a mechanic than marrying a doctor!
     
  5. sue35

    sue35 Habitué

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2007
    Messages:
    897
    Likes Received:
    0

    Feb 28, 2008

    My boyfriend is a trader. He tries to be understanding but I know he still thinks that my job is easy and that anyone could do it. I would love to see him in my classroom, he wouldn't last the day!
     
  6. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2007
    Messages:
    5,621
    Likes Received:
    6

    Feb 28, 2008

    my most recent ex-bf is a scientist. the easiest way to discribe his job is "head geek in charge" of about 400,000 acres of the everglades.
     
  7. terptoteacher

    terptoteacher Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2006
    Messages:
    1,751
    Likes Received:
    2

    Feb 28, 2008

    DH is a firefighter EMT/Haz-mat specialist. He works 24 hour shifts adding up to about 8 shifts a month.

    In is spare time he works at Cabela's part time.
     
  8. maebowler

    maebowler Comrade

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2006
    Messages:
    340
    Likes Received:
    0

    Feb 29, 2008

    My husband also works with computers. He works at the college where we met. When I had my LTS job last year, we were living in two different places (we were engaged). It will be interesting to see how he (and I) does when I get a full time job (hopefully next school year).
     
  9. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    2,518
    Likes Received:
    9

    Feb 29, 2008

    Everyone, I think it would be so great and important to invite your spouses into the classroom for a normal day. Ask them to come in when they have a day off that you are working. Involve them is some activity with the kids - maybe they could come for career day. Once they see what you deal with in the classroom, they are more likely to be understanding.

    I have had parents come in for a short time or just at the end of the day to pick up kids, and they constantly tell me "I don't know how you do it all day long!" This makes me feel appreciated - they are talking about the management of all these small people who are important and demanding of attention. It is a tough thing to juggle many small children and give them each the respect they deserve while keeping an eye on every other child and correcting kids across the room and watching out for those who are EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT! You really have to be on your toes. You are watching all these kids, trying to stop bad behaviors and recognize good behaviors, listen to everyone at once, and actually teach them what they need to learn to go on! Whew! Once a spouse "gets it" it is pretty neat.
     
  10. Miss_J

    Miss_J Habitué

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2006
    Messages:
    879
    Likes Received:
    0

    Feb 29, 2008

    My soon-to-be hubby is a graphic artist who totally understands that my job requires a lot of my time. He even helps me when he can!!!!
     
  11. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2003
    Messages:
    6,809
    Likes Received:
    190

    Feb 29, 2008

    :lol: Sorry but that's just too funny!!! :)
     
  12. Danny'sNanny

    Danny'sNanny Connoisseur

    Joined:
    May 13, 2005
    Messages:
    1,912
    Likes Received:
    14

    Feb 29, 2008

    I'm lucky. My bf's mom is a kinder teacher, so he understands- he grew up with it! Whenever I need to spend extra money on something for the kids, he doesn't bat an eye.

    The only thing he has a problem with- the boxes and boxes of kids books in our house, waiting for my future classroom! ;)
     
  13. HMM

    HMM Cohort

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2004
    Messages:
    694
    Likes Received:
    1

    Feb 29, 2008

    My Wife found a solution to that problem. I have two large closets in my office that are full of her books :eek: (she used to teach 2nd grade and is now teaching 5th).
     
  14. midwestteacher

    midwestteacher Cohort

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2008
    Messages:
    727
    Likes Received:
    0

    Feb 29, 2008

    My husband is an automation engineer for an Autrian based indutrial robotics company. He works out of our home and may be home for an entire month or working on the road at a plant during the week. For the past month, he has been working at a new automotive plant about an hour and a half from here so he is able to be home at night.
    His job goes in spurts - sometimes he is really busy, and sometimes he's not. Last year, he was home 28 days during the week with nothing to do. The year before that - 91 days. Not many people say they can be at home working on the honey-do list for almost 3 months out of the year and still draw a salary for it.
    He was in the Marine Corps when we met and was honorably discharged right before I started my student teaching.
    His "other" job is as a rodeo cowboy. He has been riding for about 12 years now and has a large collection of buckles, trophy saddles, and finals coats. Three years ago, we went to over 120 rodeos during the summer months - and I'm on a 12 month contract so I work all summer. Being gone also during the week that year - nothing around the house got done.
     
  15. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2005
    Messages:
    5,794
    Likes Received:
    1,263

    Feb 29, 2008

    DH actually did come do some volunteer work in my classroom when we first married. The kids that year really liked working with him . . . probably the "cool" factor of the musician thing. The next year was a whole different crew, and they were basically snots. He decided he'd probably be in jail if he came back, so he doesn't do much at my school anymore.
     
  16. TamiJ

    TamiJ Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2007
    Messages:
    6,873
    Likes Received:
    229

    Feb 29, 2008

    My hubby has a landscaping business. We get evenings together, which is nice. The only day he takes off is Saturday, but he also works 2 to 3 days at a local market for extra cash while I am in school, and works every other Sunday there, so sometimes we don't get any days off.

    I hope you don't mind me saying, but it souds like your girlfriend is being very selfish. You are busy trying to better yourself, and she needs to understand that. What you are doing right now will benefit you for a lifetime. There are too many fish in the sea to stick to one who isn't supportive, IMO....
     
  17. GatorGal

    GatorGal Cohort

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2006
    Messages:
    506
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 1, 2008

    :wub:
     
  18. iTeacher

    iTeacher Rookie

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2008
    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 1, 2008

    My hubby is an engineer but in his type of engineering he has really strange hours so if I have to stay late or do work at home it is no big deal because he is usually not home. When he walks out of his job he is done! Nothing to bring home. Plus he makes at least 3 times as much as I do for what I think is a lot less responsibility but I'm not complaining!
     
  19. Rabbitt

    Rabbitt Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2007
    Messages:
    1,891
    Likes Received:
    109

    Mar 1, 2008

    Hmmm...no stay at home moms or dads! Could that have anything to do with the low pay of teachers?

    My husband is a manger of a ski slope. So he has a lot of time off when we do.
     
  20. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2005
    Messages:
    10,120
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 1, 2008

    My bf is a the lead web developer and he has a few other duties. He works way more hours than I do.
     
  21. Red Rocket

    Red Rocket Rookie

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2008
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 1, 2008

    Well, she admits that she is being selfish and is trying to work on it but it isn't getting much better. I'm hoping it gets better but it's difficult when she barely has any work to do.
     
  22. Amers

    Amers Cohort

    Joined:
    May 4, 2007
    Messages:
    695
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 1, 2008

    Do you have a day you guys can spend together all alone....no work or school? Once my fiance started having Sundays off, there was a lot less petty bickering in our home. It helped so much having that one day that we could spend together without outside distractions.

    I also come on here a lot to talk about school or talk to other teachers in my building. I know he doesn't care about or understand much of what I say about school, so I try to limit the amount of school stories/problems I talk about at home. Not that I don't talk about school! He probably still thinks I talk about it a ton, but trust me, I could be bugging him about school A LOT more!
     
  23. Red Rocket

    Red Rocket Rookie

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2008
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 1, 2008

    I'm typically doing homework or working all weekend. She doesn't keep herself busy enough because she doesn't have the motivation that I have and it can drive me nuts. I need someone with patience that is self-motivated to become the best person they can be.
     
  24. Amers

    Amers Cohort

    Joined:
    May 4, 2007
    Messages:
    695
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 1, 2008

    DH to be and I went through this a few years ago. He had quit school and wasn't really working. (Ironically, he was on call lists as a sub. teacher, but he wasn't getting any calls.) I would get soooo angry when I came home from class (I was still in college) to get ready to go into work and he was sitting on his butt playing video games. It was definitely a rough patch for us both- lots of fighting.

    It took about a year before he found something he really wanted to do. Once he went into the police academy, life was much better for us. He was motivated because he was doing something he loved, and I didn't want to kill him anymore, because he was working just as hard as I was.

    How old is your gf? Is it possible she just hasn't found what she really wants to do yet? I know it was frsutrating waiting for my fiance to grow up, but I'm glad I did. We're getting married in May, and we're a wonderful team.
     
  25. Red Rocket

    Red Rocket Rookie

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2008
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 1, 2008

    She's 20 and I'm 21. She's majoring in international business so our careers are quite different. I've explained to her what my career entails but it's tough for her to accept it.
     
  26. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Maven

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2005
    Messages:
    5,794
    Likes Received:
    1,263

    Mar 1, 2008

    In our little town--with lower cost of living--teaching put you in the top income in our town. Families with two teachers are seen as quite well off. Go figure!


    DH works anywhere from 0 to 20 hours per week, depending on his schedule. We don't have kids, but he does do all of the housework, laundry, and yard work. A couple of my colleagues--one male/one female have SAH partners who take care of housework and children.
     
  27. chemteach55

    chemteach55 Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2007
    Messages:
    1,710
    Likes Received:
    13

    Mar 1, 2008


    My hubby is a computer engineer so I was lucky to be able to stay home with my children until they were in school and now I am off on the same vacations as they are.
    We both bring home work but his job is great in that he can work as easliy from home as from his office so I almost never have to stay home with a sick kid. He also usually takes vacations when we are off. This allows us to go on vacations at different times of the year.
     
  28. Teacher2Be123

    Teacher2Be123 Companion

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2008
    Messages:
    154
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 1, 2008

    My boyfriend is in sales. He works with another guy whose girlfriend is going for education too.
     
  29. jw13

    jw13 Groupie

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2008
    Messages:
    1,494
    Likes Received:
    1

    Mar 1, 2008

    Well I think that say it all! You don't seem to think much of her AND she can't stand the time you put into your career. I would be worried about this relationship for one big reason-You show CONTEMPT for her. To you she lack motivation and you don't think is motivated to be the best person she can be. Add to the fact that even though she recognizes the time you must and desire to put into your career, she still can't support you. You can kiss this relationship goodbye. :(
     
  30. Brendan

    Brendan Fanatic

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2004
    Messages:
    2,974
    Likes Received:
    1

    Mar 1, 2008

    My Wife is an ex-designer turned English and History teacher at a small private High School. And my eldest History Teacher son is getting married to a math teacher. Go Figure!
     
  31. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2006
    Messages:
    6,439
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 1, 2008



    Thank you Dr. Phil.....:2up:

    I tend to agree with the above also.
     
  32. Red Rocket

    Red Rocket Rookie

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2008
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 1, 2008

    I can't explain our entire relationship over the Internet so please don't jump to conclusions about us. We know our relationship is in trouble but we are working on fixing it. Thanks for your input though.
     
  33. Amers

    Amers Cohort

    Joined:
    May 4, 2007
    Messages:
    695
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 1, 2008

    Sometimes people just take longer to grow up than others. Only you know if it's worth putting the effort into fixing your realtionship. Like I said before, it was worth the rough times for me. I would think that as long as you both recognize there is a problem, and you are both willing to work on it, you stand a fighting chance. In the end, it just depends on how much effort you're both willing to put into it. :2cents:
     
  34. jw13

    jw13 Groupie

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2008
    Messages:
    1,494
    Likes Received:
    1

    Mar 1, 2008

    I understand you couldn't possibly communicate the nature of your relationship over a message board. But, based on the information you gave there needs to be compromise from BOTH of you. She does need to understand that with many educators, it consumes time outside of the classroom. You need to realize that she is asking for time from you. You have to negotiate that...you can't just work all the time. You must set aside regular time for the both of you.
    JMHO;)
     
  35. jw13

    jw13 Groupie

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2008
    Messages:
    1,494
    Likes Received:
    1

    Mar 1, 2008

    MissFrizzle if you look at my post, my husband is a marriage and family therapist....I guess it tends to rub off. :)
     
  36. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    2,518
    Likes Received:
    9

    Mar 1, 2008

    Aaww . . . Red Rocket, we tend to speak our minds here!! You are right that a relationship can't be explained on a post. My husband and I also do lots of counseling of couples, both pre- and post marriage, and I have to say that your comments did cause a red flag to go up in my mind.

    You are both still pretty young. Have you gotten premarital counseling yet? This is defininitely an issue that should be talked through before you tie the knot - it doesn't get easier after getting married, actually, it gets harder. An experienced counselor could give you two personality tests to see the potential areas of conflict ahead for you, and you get to set some guidelines for yourselves so you are set to go if the conflict arises.

    It is very hard for people outside of the profession to understand the time requirements and the thrill of being in a classroom teaching! And as stated, because she is so young, she maybe just hasn't found what it is she would love to do. Once she does, she will have some appreciation for your love of teaching.
    Good luck! Please keep us posted. We are truly interested in each other here.
     
  37. Red Rocket

    Red Rocket Rookie

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2008
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 2, 2008

    Thanks for all of your input and advice everyone. I will keep everyone posted on any new developments.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. Pi-R-Squared,
  2. webmistress,
  3. joan davis,
  4. Caesar753
Total: 153 (members: 6, guests: 132, robots: 15)
test