What do you/would you do if you saw someone crying

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by TennisPlayer, Dec 23, 2009.

  1. TennisPlayer

    TennisPlayer Cohort

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Messages:
    518
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 23, 2009

    but you didn't know them?

    A) Ignore them/pretend you didn't see them
    B) Make eye contact and ask if they want to talk
    C) Just ask them if they want some Kleenex
    D) Something else!

    Yesterday, I was at a store and could hear someone getting upset/crying while they were on their cell phone (I think they should have left the store and gone to their car for privacy if they started crying) and I just went on with my business but deep down I really wanted to ask her if she needed to talk but I didn't because I didn't want it to become awkward!
     
  2.  
  3. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2005
    Messages:
    14,067
    Likes Received:
    1,884

    Dec 23, 2009

    I probably wouldn't say anything, but would quietly offer them a Kleenex (if I had some that weren't just rumpled up in the bottom of my purse) and a sympathetic smile.
     
  4. MissWull

    MissWull Cohort

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2006
    Messages:
    721
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 23, 2009

    Hmmm good question. I guess I would kind of judge the situation as it was...but maybe hand them a kleenex (if I had one) or ask if they were ok...but it would seem obvious that they aren't.

    Who knows, I may have just went on my way as you did.

    Reminds me of a situation I was in during my 2nd year of college. I was leaving the parking lot and there was a car ahead of me, she got hit by another car...but the car that hit her sped off. I had gotten the license plate of the car that hit her, and wanted to give her the info. I pulled up behind her and followed her 2 blocks where she pulled into a gas station (I thought she would have pulled over a lot sooner). She was no older than I was and visibly distraught...shaking, crying and on the phone (with one of her parents I presumed). I asked if she was ok and told her I saw it and the info, and I hugged her. She was so shaken but she was sooo thankful for the info and just me being there. It was an odd moment for me, since I'm not usually too emotional/touchy with anyone other than my husband. But I was glad I was there to help. :)
     
  5. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2007
    Messages:
    17,362
    Likes Received:
    46

    Dec 23, 2009

    Honestly, I'd probably ignore the person...maybe give them a sympathic smile. I wouldn't want anyone asking me if I was okay if I were the one crying.
     
  6. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2006
    Messages:
    9,154
    Likes Received:
    1

    Dec 23, 2009

    If the person is on the phone, they are already releasing and talking to someone. It might only embarrass them if you acknowledge their breakdown in such a public place. It really depends on where you are at and in this case, I would have walked away.
     
  7. TennisPlayer

    TennisPlayer Cohort

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2008
    Messages:
    518
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 23, 2009

    Well she was off the phone when I saw her crying...

    It's so hard to know if people want someone to offer support or not without asking.
     
  8. sevenplus

    sevenplus Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2006
    Messages:
    1,722
    Likes Received:
    113

    Dec 23, 2009

    If it was a complete stranger I would ignore them. I figure they would probably be embarrassed anyway.
     
  9. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

    Joined:
    May 13, 2004
    Messages:
    5,913
    Likes Received:
    172

    Dec 23, 2009

    If it's a total stranger crying, I'd go on w/ my own thing. It's none of my business. If it's an acquaintance & they're alone, I may ask if they need help or anything. Of course if it's a friend, I'd console them & let them know I'm here for them.
     
  10. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2007
    Messages:
    3,506
    Likes Received:
    12

    Dec 23, 2009

    I would offer a kleenex and a smile. If they want to talk, that opens the door for them.
     
  11. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    27,534
    Likes Received:
    6

    Dec 23, 2009

    I would ask whether there's anything I could do to help. But their being on the phone is an issue, since I would be concerned about interrupting.
     
  12. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2002
    Messages:
    3,274
    Likes Received:
    38

    Dec 23, 2009

    I did something similiar, except the other car stopped. She was quite a bit younger then I was. I stayed with her until they put her in the ambulance & then met her at the hospital. I stayed with her until her husband got there. He wasn't with her at the time, he got to the scene & took the baby, who was in the car with her to a friends house.
     
  13. Special-t

    Special-t Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2008
    Messages:
    2,019
    Likes Received:
    19

    Dec 23, 2009

    My husband and I were crying after saying goodbye to our previous dog, Gypsy. Someone in the vet's waiting room walked over and held out a box of tissue - no words, just a kind act.
     
  14. becky

    becky Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2004
    Messages:
    2,247
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 23, 2009

    Not exactly the same..
    One day in WalMart's parking lot, I heard angry voices coming from a nearby car. I looked over, and a couple was arguing and slapping the h*ll out of each other! I mean loud, open handed slaps. And I mean each was giving as good as they got. I told my husband I thought we should call 911, but he said no, we're going to mind our own business. I did as he said, but still felt like I should have called the police.
     
  15. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2007
    Messages:
    5,621
    Likes Received:
    6

    Dec 23, 2009

    It depends. I would feel awkward approaching a person on the phone. If eye contact was made, I'd give a sympathetic smile, otherwise, i might offer tissues (if I had them), but not say anything.

    That said, it's amazing how fast total strangers can become very close after a car accident. I witnessed a horrible crash a couple of years ago. I changed lanes so I would be the first person at a light, and no sooner than I did that, this small pick up came flying passed me, never hit his brakes and slammed into the car that had been in front of me. The truck hit the jeep so hard that the jeep wound up between the bank and the denny's that was on the other side of the gas station that was on the other side of an 8 lane wide intersection. Anyway, before I had a chance to get across the intersection and offer help, some kids came out of the denny's and MOVED the passenger of the car that got hit. Stupid kids. Anyway, I did the only think I could think of to do, which was to create a place on the ground for the woman to sit still, using my body as the back of a chair. I talked to her, go ther name and medical history while trying to keep her calm and still as we were waiting for rescue. She asked me to call her son, so I did (after rescue arrived and stabilized her). Two days later I went to visit the two women in the trauma unit. When I got there and signed in, all the nurses came rushing towards me. The passenger wasn't going to make it, but all she could talk about was how "The Virgin Mary" was with her the night of the accident (my name is Mary). She knew everything was going to be okay because She was there. I met with her family, then went to visit her. It was a short visit, and, as I found out, she passed away later that evening, at peace that everything was going to be okay. I would not have figured that her family would contact me after that. I was sooooooo wrong. I have maintained a friendship with the woman's daughter and son, but I do I wish we could have met under different circumstances.
     
  16. shouldbeasleep

    shouldbeasleep Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2007
    Messages:
    2,233
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 23, 2009

    Oh, my gosh. What a sad story, but also how beautiful!

    If the person wasn't on the phone, I'd stop and ask if everything was OK and if I could do anything for them.
     
  17. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2007
    Messages:
    1,909
    Likes Received:
    29

    Dec 24, 2009

    MM~That is a beautiful story and it is lovely to see people who are willing to help others.


    I think I would probably ask if there is anything that I could do for them esp. if I was alone. My dh would probably say to mind my own business, but I think helping or consoling others is our business. I don't have to know what is wrong, just if I can do anything to help the person.

    Quick story, I was in Ross one day, just looking and there was a lady who was looking at three different suits and she was trying to call someone, but it was obvious the person that she was calling did not answer the phone. She asked if she could get my opinion on something. Her sil had been killed in an automobile accident by a drunk driver and she was helping her brother by finding the dress to bury her in. I told her which one I like best and she said that she was leaning toward that one. I expressed my condolences to her and she left. I did not see a single thing in the store that I liked that day, but it sure made me feel like I was there to help her with a hard decision to make. Sometimes it is the little things that we do that make a difference. Jesus did say that there is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.
     
  18. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2007
    Messages:
    2,403
    Likes Received:
    1

    Dec 24, 2009

    I think I would just say "Are you ok?" and see what happens from there. If they need something, I would help, if they shake their head, I would let them be alone. I know when I am crying, I probably would not want anyone to try to talk to me.

    This happened to my sister once and she thought she was on one of those "What would you do..." shows. The girl was hysterical and my sister helped her get a cab or call a friend or something, and sat with her until everything was ok.
     
  19. Crzy_ArtTeacher

    Crzy_ArtTeacher Comrade

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2008
    Messages:
    351
    Likes Received:
    0

    Dec 24, 2009

    It's rather odd you ask this question because TWICE yesterday I dealt with this. I was waitressing at my second job and approached the table only to realize one of the customers was crying. She was a regular and has just told my coworker her MIL had just unexpectedly passed away.

    Not even 15 minutes later I went to approach another totally unrelated table and one of the customers was crying there too! They had just gotten in a fender bender in the parking lot. This never happens to me, I find it quite ironic that there is a posting on it as well!
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. Sara Janice
Total: 172 (members: 2, guests: 150, robots: 20)
test