What do you say if asked: What is the biggest regret in your life?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by McKennaL, Nov 14, 2009.

  1. McKennaL

    McKennaL Groupie

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2008
    Messages:
    1,378
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 14, 2009

    Oh, to live a life without regrets!

    But i don't think that is possible.

    If the regret is too personal - you don't have to say. But when people ask MY biggest regret _ I KNOW it!
     
  2.  
  3. McKennaL

    McKennaL Groupie

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2008
    Messages:
    1,378
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 14, 2009

    Sure I have regrets in personal relationships in my life...but I don't talk about those.

    ***

    MY BIGGEST REGRET

    Before my last year in college i was offered the chance to study abroad. As a music (education) major, one place stood out above the rest. Salzburg, Germany. To be in the town, so steeped in musical history, where Mozart spent SO much of his life, and where the Sound of Music was filmed (one class would have been held IN the gazebo from the movie)...well, hands down! Salzburg was the place to be.

    So....

    I didn't go. I thought that I didn't want to be away from my finacee (we weren't even living within 60 miles of each other at the time-but i drove on weekends), and I thought - that would put me a semester off...and an education major graduating in January????? I didn't want to be in that lot.

    So I passed up the trip of a lifetime.

    I regret that TREMENDOUSLY to this day. I can bet dollars to donuts I will NEVER get to Salzburg-let alone ANY of Europe-over the course of the rest of my life.

    Dang.
     
  4. scienceteach82

    scienceteach82 Cohort

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2008
    Messages:
    688
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 14, 2009

    Not going to college out of state.
     
  5. scienceteach82

    scienceteach82 Cohort

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2008
    Messages:
    688
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 14, 2009

    had scholarship to LSU, RIT (but I had to major in sign language or something...I'm legally deaf), and was accepted to Baylor, T A&M, and some other random school...

    I stayed in GA b/c my parents said they would buy me a car if I went to in state school and got HOPE scholarship. Which I did...and have regretted it ever since. Now...I LOVED my school...awesome professors...but never got the true college experience since I was living at home too.

    If I had moved...then I wouldn't be in the position I am now. Which you could look at either way...but for me right now...i wish I had moved.
     
  6. Maryhf

    Maryhf Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2006
    Messages:
    1,598
    Likes Received:
    35

    Nov 14, 2009

    not finishing my master's degree
     
  7. Mrs. K.

    Mrs. K. Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2008
    Messages:
    2,275
    Likes Received:
    103

    Nov 14, 2009

    Not becoming a teacher sooner.
     
  8. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2006
    Messages:
    7,946
    Likes Received:
    3

    Nov 14, 2009

    I really have only one true regret, and that's not sucking it up and seeing my papaw before he died. He was relatively young at 63 it was, I believe, and had been suffering kindney failure. He was in horrible shape so I didn't visit...for months and months. I told everyone I was just "too busy" being a freshman at college. Yeah, I was busy...but I was just being selfish. I didn't want to see him sick.

    I was eighteen and working at Wal-Mart while attending college when I got an incredibly strong urge to go see him. Immediately. I knew he was getting worse, but they'd been saying he was going to die any day for a year. And two years before that we had an early Christmas because they didn't expect him to be alive for the holiday. Anyhow, I knew it was ridiculous, but I told a manager my papaw was sick and I needed to see him. She said no, and while I can't really blame her we were doing nothing...I was working layaway just before that idea came to and end when it was rarely used. I started crying...the need to go was very intense. They let me go. I drove as fast as I could. I knocked on the house door. No one answered so I opened the door and the moment I did I heard my mamaw let out a cry. I had one foot in the door and the other out, that close, and he died. I went on in to his bedroom and I could barely recognize him. He was a skeleton. I couldn't believe I had just stayed gone while he slowly slipped away from us. I'm starting to tear up right now...man, I regret that. I feel so horrible for ignoring him for so long just because the situation made me sad. How stupid. :(
     
  9. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2005
    Messages:
    4,896
    Likes Received:
    5

    Nov 14, 2009

    Right now it is not renewing my working visa so that I could have remained teaching in Georgia. I thought I missed home but once I arrived home I realized that a 2 week vacation would have cured my homesickness...:unsure:.
     
  10. futureteach21

    futureteach21 Habitué

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2008
    Messages:
    821
    Likes Received:
    1

    Nov 14, 2009

    Mine has to be not losing weight sooner. I think back to high school and the first few semesters in college and realize that my weight held me back from being myself. I wish I had been able to have the experience I imagined.
     
  11. kalli007

    kalli007 Companion

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2009
    Messages:
    173
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 14, 2009

    Not taking some opportunities when I was younger - like McKenna said I should have studied abroad. My school had some great summer-abroad opportunities in my field and I wanted to just didnt follow through.

    I have other personal life ones but I figure that they got me where I am now and I am thrilled with my life as it is.
     
  12. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2007
    Messages:
    17,362
    Likes Received:
    46

    Nov 14, 2009

    I wish I had lived on a college campus, of course, then I wouldn't have met my dh so everything works out for the best in the end.
     
  13. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

    Joined:
    May 8, 2008
    Messages:
    8,328
    Likes Received:
    1,454

    Nov 14, 2009

    My high school sweetheart was back in town for Thanksgiving and left a message asking me to meet him at a party at his best friend's house. We were still very much in love but, for various reasons, not together. I didn't go to the party. Why? Because his best friend and I had a falling out almost a decade before over stupid stuff. My high school sweetheart died suddenly a week later. His best friend and I reconciled at the memorial service. A dozen years later, however, I continue to kick myself for missing that chance to be there.
     
  14. zoey'smom

    zoey'smom Cohort

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2009
    Messages:
    548
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 14, 2009

    My biggest regret is a little personal and sad. I am starting to tear up just thinking about it.

    My biggest regret is that I didn't spend more quality time with my daughter before she died. She was a little over 4 months old. I was getting ready for the beginning of school, so she was at grandma's or the babysitter. I was over at school trying to get things ready. She died on the first full day of school at the babysitters.

    My other regret goes with the first. It is that I never told the babysitter to make sure and lay her on her back when she took her naps. Two days before she died I found her at the babysitters on her stomach sleeping. I didn't think much of it because she was rolling over, so I figured she rolled over while she was sleeping. I just wonder if things would have been different if I just said, please put her on her back.
     
  15. scienceteach82

    scienceteach82 Cohort

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2008
    Messages:
    688
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 14, 2009

    -hugs- zoey's mom
     
  16. MissFroggy

    MissFroggy Aficionado

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    3,729
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 14, 2009

    Mine also is not losing weight sooner. I held myself back from a lot of life's experiences because of worries about my weight.

    And Zoey's mom, I am SO sorry for your loss. That is really sad...
     
  17. Major

    Major Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2005
    Messages:
    1,620
    Likes Received:
    5

    Nov 14, 2009


    Regrets:
    • That I lost my only daughter a little over 30 years ago. This is by far my biggest regret. Nothing else comes close. She still lives in my heart.
    • That I didn't get my PhD in Geology. I have a Masters in Geology and completed some work toward the PhD.
    • That I wasn't good enough to play in the NFL. But the truth is I was fortunate to get a full football scholarship at a Divison I college so that's not a realistic regret.

     
  18. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

    Joined:
    May 1, 2005
    Messages:
    1,266
    Likes Received:
    1

    Nov 14, 2009

    I really love my life and I honestly don't have any real regrets, but a couple of small (pretty insignificant in the big picture) come to mind. One is that I didn't pursue visual arts in high school because if I had, I might have been able to really develop the natural talent people tell me I have, another is not being brave enough to play sports in school. I was and still am quite an introvert, and this is what stopped me. If I could have forced myself out of my comfort zone, playing sports may have helped me to come out of my shell better and sooner as well as avoiding struggles with weight (which is under control now, but still). The last one would be to not have wasted so much money when I was younger. I should have got into the habit of saving and always having some kind of buffer, and maybe I could have avoided those tough financial times over the years. The only other thing is more a wish than a regret; I wish I were more comfortable in large groups and social situations. I'm most comfortable when I'm alone or just with family, but sometimes I'd like to experience being comfortable with just whoever is around me, and that's especially difficult at work. I'd like to be more talkative and outgoing, but when I try I almost always walk away feeling like I've said or done something really stupid or out of place, so I usually keep to myself, but sometimes that can come off as snobbish. I can adjust in the classroom, though because students are not my peers.

    Other than that, I believe that every experience I had and didn't have led me to where I am now, which is a really good place to be, so I wouldn't change a thing in the end.
     
  19. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2006
    Messages:
    2,518
    Likes Received:
    9

    Nov 14, 2009

    -not having more children
    -not having my head screwed on straight till I was about 23! Should have and could have excelled in H.S. and college but didn't till I dropped out and went back - although as some have said, if I had excelled at H.S. I would have gone to a different college - U.C. Berkeley!- and the course of my life would have changed for the worse.

    So that part worked out for the best. Plus I can identify with my airhead students!
     
  20. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

    Joined:
    May 24, 2008
    Messages:
    3,513
    Likes Received:
    14

    Nov 14, 2009

    I struggle with this question because I can't think of an answer. It's not that life has given me everything I've always hoped, but I accept things that do go wrong as "life." Not immediately, but eventually.

    But, I haven't endured the loss of my parents, my husband, or something of the like.
     
  21. Aliceacc

    Aliceacc Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2006
    Messages:
    27,534
    Likes Received:
    6

    Nov 14, 2009

    ku, you put it so well!!!!!

    It's not that my life has been perfect. But, in looking back, I think that the decisons I made were, for the most part, sound decisions based on the information I had at the time. So, sure, I would have loved to have seen my dad the night before he died. But I had no way of knowing that it would be his last night, and it was bitterly cold and I was 9 months pregnant, so I didn't go. I don't regret not going and I realize that he was so far gone at that point that it would have been about me, not him.

    I tend not to dwell on things. Not all my decisions have been wonderful, but the combination of all those decisons has brought me to where I am today: married to the love of my life with 3 amazing kids, working a job I love.

    So I have no regrets.
     
  22. Youngteacher226

    Youngteacher226 Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2006
    Messages:
    2,048
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 14, 2009

    I love, love, love, love, love my daughter to death! But I do regret sometimes having her so young. I was a senior in HS when I had her. I was able to finish school and go on to college a few years later, but I think I regret putting my life on hold trying to create this imaginary family with her dad. We were both TOO young to live together and raise a family. But we did. And I think I am a little behind in getting married now because I stayed in that relationship so long that wasn't going anywhere. Part of me stayed because I didn't want to become a statistic: a single mother with an absent dad.
    Although I regret having a child young, I do believe that everything happens for a reason. My daughter made me strong! I had to become a woman and a mother over night. And I did. So I have achieved greatness in the meantime. That's why I love her for blessing my life.
     
  23. amakaye

    amakaye Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2004
    Messages:
    2,397
    Likes Received:
    4

    Nov 14, 2009

    I regret being so shy and not really getting involved in college life my freshman year. My roommate and I got along well, but we were both really shy, so we didn't really go out and do much. By sophomore year, everybody kind of had their groups (I went to a small college) and it was hard to break in to one. I think I would have made more strong friendships and become more comfortable with myself sooner.
     
  24. shouldbeasleep

    shouldbeasleep Enthusiast

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2007
    Messages:
    2,233
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 14, 2009

    I guess I'll keep it to personal decisions, such as letting some of my friendships from college die off.

    And I truly wish I had more children. But I don't know how I could have changed that without just ....well, I'm not going there, because then I would regret that.

    I regret letting my kitchen get so messy this week. Dang it. I do not want to clean house this weekend.
     
  25. Peachyness

    Peachyness Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2006
    Messages:
    6,181
    Likes Received:
    1

    Nov 14, 2009

    My regrets:

    1) I regret not having pursued a degree in geology

    2) moving back home after I graduated from college

    3) buying this house for my parents (I really wanted to help my mom, but now I'm financially screwed)
     
  26. blindteacher

    blindteacher Cohort

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2009
    Messages:
    568
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 14, 2009

    I have had two major loves in my life. One is my wife and the other was a beautiful girl in my high school. I regret never telling her how I much I loved her.

    On that note, holding onto past memories for so long when I could have had so many more years free of anger and instead filled with joy and love.

    Never staying in touch (successfully) with any of my foster parents. Some of them tried really hard and I regret losing touch because I would like to let them know I appreciate their efforts.
     
  27. ku_alum

    ku_alum Aficionado

    Joined:
    May 24, 2008
    Messages:
    3,513
    Likes Received:
    14

    Nov 14, 2009

    Thanks, Alice. I like what you wrote, too.
     
  28. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2007
    Messages:
    17,362
    Likes Received:
    46

    Nov 14, 2009

    zoey'smom~I'm so sorry for your loss!
     
  29. teacherfan

    teacherfan Cohort

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2003
    Messages:
    581
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 14, 2009

    I was going to write about how I regret not going to college as soon as I finished high school, but then I read about zoeysmom losing her baby and the other poster losing her pawpaw and my regret doesn't seem that bad. I am really going to focus on what I have and what I have accomplished and not think about the "what ifs."
     
  30. AMK

    AMK Aficionado

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2003
    Messages:
    3,019
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 14, 2009

    I have no real regrets in life. I have learned from everything.
    Someone asked me if I had any regrets after I lost my mom and I don't. We had a great relationship and I was with her almost every single day. Others in my family I think struggle with some decisions they made with my mom.
     
  31. kalli007

    kalli007 Companion

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2009
    Messages:
    173
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 15, 2009

    I am guilty of this...perhaps it is my biggest downfall. I have had such a hard time letting go of the past, however it is what makes us US..... dont fret....your past, no matter how ugly or beautiful, is what makes you YOU. I have only recently come to realize this....love it.
     
  32. kalli007

    kalli007 Companion

    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2009
    Messages:
    173
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 15, 2009


    For you............

    Don't let your life pass you by
    Weep not for the memories

    Remember the good times that we had?
    I let them slip away from us when things got bad

    I'm so tired but I can't sleep
    Standing on the edge of something much too deep
    It;s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
    We are screaming inside, but we can't be heard

    Clinging to a past that doesn't let me choose
    Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
    You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light
     
  33. Securis

    Securis Cohort

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2007
    Messages:
    695
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 15, 2009

    That's easy. I lost touch with a friend who I had great love and admiration for and I knew she was in ill health. I made paltry efforts to make contact but had it in my head that she'd be there when I got back around. She died several years ago and I only found out this year in early March.
     
  34. mollydoll

    mollydoll Connoisseur

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2009
    Messages:
    1,640
    Likes Received:
    57

    Nov 15, 2009

    I wish that somewhere, in all the moves and school changes while growing up, that I had developed some sort of social skills. I've only had 2-3 good friends in my life, and none of those could be maintained more than a year or so after I moved. I never have more than 2 numbers on my cell phone--my parents.

    I just feel so awkward socially because there are so many things I have never done--I've never gone to parties, dances, dinners, amusement parks, or any other social event with other people. Even movies, I always go to alone if I want to see something. People usually seem to like me during daily stuff, but never enough to invite me out anywhere. People love telling me about their fun plans, but even if I say something like "I want to go see that movie too!" they never invite me along. I think it is because I make them uncomfortable because I don't know how to have fun. I don't know how to respond to guys--usually I realize someone was hitting on me HOURS later and then realize that I responded in a way to send them fast in the opposite direction. Way to keep up the "never been on a date" thing too...

    I regret this more than anything. And now it feels much too late to change or fix this since I am 35 and still totally clueless except in that this is clearly all my fault and something I need to fix.

    And to add insult, my little parrot who was keeping me from being lonely has decided she loves my dad exclusively and now even she doesn't interact with me much anymore. I just have to pay for her food, toys and vet bills.

    Everyone at my school is married or has a significant other, and I have already grown to hate listening to everyone talk about their weekends. I want to be friendly, but I have nothing to contribute to such conversations unless I make something up.
     
  35. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2008
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    0

    Nov 15, 2009

    MY BIGGEST REGRET

    Before my last year in college i was offered the chance to study abroad. As a music (education) major, one place stood out above the rest. Salzburg, Germany. To be in the town, so steeped in musical history, where Mozart spent SO much of his life, and where the Sound of Music was filmed (one class would have been held IN the gazebo from the movie)...well, hands down! Salzburg was the place to be.

    So....

    I didn't go. I thought that I didn't want to be away from my finacee (we weren't even living within 60 miles of each other at the time-but i drove on weekends), and I thought - that would put me a semester off...and an education major graduating in January????? I didn't want to be in that lot.

    So I passed up the trip of a lifetime.

    I regret that TREMENDOUSLY to this day. I can bet dollars to donuts I will NEVER get to Salzburg-let alone ANY of Europe-over the course of the rest of my life.

    Dang.[/QUOTE]

    McKennaL, you never know what the future may bring you either. Check around in your district to see if anyone is involved in being a tour leader for EF Tours, you could even host a group yourself and if you have about 6 to sign up and go, you could go FREE fr being the contact person.

    Is it too late to finish it now? I was in my 40's when I started mine.
    Big hugs, I'm so sorry. You were probably doing just about all you could do at the time.
    I could cry with you. My still-borne was born 27 years ago, time takes care of alot, and the birth of my daughter, but there will always be a big hole in my heart.
    Major, nothing comes close, I'm so sorry.

    No interest in the PhD anymore? If it makes you fee better, I tried out for the girl's basketball team every year for 5 years. I was so silly I trained all summer long only to fail the try-outs EVERY year. I'm only 5'2", unco-ordinated, but I really wanted to play. My senior year the coach let me be the manager and I got to wash socks!

    bonneb, I'd had a house full of kids if I could have! And, not many 23 y.o.'s have their heads screwed on period!

    [/QUOTE]
    Miss Froggy, you're young, hurry and start living!!!

    Regret selling 8,000 shares of AIG stock for $1.45 back in the summer, after paying $.85, and it's over $36.00 a share now. :(

    I regret having the lithotripsy done on my kidney stone, I still hurt from it and it's been four years ago!

    There's other regrets, probably too many to mention, but I guess I've forgiven myself for them all and I have a lot to look forward to. Most of my regrets were from just being young and dumb. I can't go back and change any of it.
     
  36. knitter63

    knitter63 Groupie

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2007
    Messages:
    1,396
    Likes Received:
    3

    Nov 16, 2009

    I am not sure I have any regrets. Yes, there are many things I would want to change if I could go back, but I have learned so much from those mistakes. I think if I have one personal regret, it would be that I wear my heart on my sleeve and I speak my heart. Over the years I have found out the hard way that when people want the truth or my opinion, they really don't mean it!:)
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

  1. vickilyn,
  2. EdEd,
  3. RainStorm
Total: 196 (members: 3, guests: 177, robots: 16)
test