What do you feel causes a child to be stubborn?

Discussion in 'Early Childhood Education Archives' started by Myname, Mar 30, 2006.

  1. Myname

    Myname Comrade

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2006
    Messages:
    321
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 30, 2006

    I have a few in my class, and yes they are 3 which could be the age I know, who are so stubborn.

    Do children become stubborn because they are spoiled at home?

    And how do you handle a situation like that? Eg. You tell the child to put their shoes on and they lay down and throw a fit and then say mommy, or daddy, I want my daddy or mommy. When you know darn well they can put these shoes on you have seen them do it a billion times.

    I have heard teachers say well I am going throw them in the garbage then if you don't put them on. I do not want to use that phrase. I have ignored the fit and when they get up to go do something I will tell them again you need to put your shoes on first. I will tie them when you get them on. And they go back int their fit.
     
  2.  
  3. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2004
    Messages:
    6,367
    Likes Received:
    1

    Mar 30, 2006

    I think it's a combination of parenting and personality. I have one that is very stubborn, but she knows that I don't put up with much. She will show her stubborn side, but I will always win. If one of my kids acts like that, they go sit on the stairs in our house or up in the hallway between the bedrooms (away from everyone) until they are done and ready to copperate.

    So, if you ask me, I think that being stubborn can definitly be just a personality trait, but I think that parents can control it if they use the proper parenting skills. Some, choose not to or don't know how, which leaves you with a child like you mentioned in your post.
     
  4. Lainie

    Lainie Companion

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2005
    Messages:
    111
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 30, 2006

    It's a temperament thing, for sure. For something like the shoe thing, start off with "You have a choice! Would you like to put on your left shoe, or your right shoe?" and if the fit continues, I'd do something along the lines of "When you're ready to put your shoes on, let me know. I'll be helping your friends with..." and drop it.

    I've been reading Conscious Discipline a lot. ugh.
     
  5. alicat

    alicat Rookie

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2006
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    0

    Mar 31, 2006

    hi, i have a child that refuses to look at you and drops his head down and gets really rigid when he refuses to do something. it's nightmare..he has to be left alone until he's ready, but obviously this doesn't work when you need to do something! unfortunately his mother is just as stubborn so it's hard to talk to her about it!
     
  6. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2004
    Messages:
    6,367
    Likes Received:
    1

    Mar 31, 2006

    The apple never falls far from the tree does it?
     
  7. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

    Joined:
    May 8, 2005
    Messages:
    2,181
    Likes Received:
    1

    Mar 31, 2006

    It definitely can come from "being spoiled," but it is also an inherent personality trait. And it can also be a developmental phase.

    I have a two and a half year old at home that is stubborn enough to drive me (the most patient person on the face of the earth) insane. Literally. I'm hoping she outgrows it. My older two are very flexible, laid-back, easy going kids. Seeing as I raised them all in a similar fashion, I wouldn't say it's my parenting in this case. I'm hoping it's not a permanent personality trait...or else I'm in trouble.
    Kim
     
  8. JenPooh

    JenPooh Virtuoso

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2004
    Messages:
    6,367
    Likes Received:
    1

    Mar 31, 2006

    Kim, one of my two year olds just went through that phase. His favorite word use to be "no". Now his favorite word is "ok". It's amazing how one day he's all crazy saying "nooooo". The next day it's "ok". I'm sure it's similar to what you're experiencing. One day, it'll be gone, then it'll be another phase;).
     
  9. JulieC

    JulieC Rookie

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2005
    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    0

    Apr 1, 2006

    I have one who is very stubborn and I think it is an attention seeking tactic. This little girl is very ratty and stubborn and when we produce an activity, she turns her nose up and tells us "I'm not doing that" - for example, on Thursday we were making April Fools cards (we glued them together and wrote backwards on them). Everybody got their material and we described the activity. This little girl said "well I won't be doing that cos it's cr*p". We ignored her and she kept repeating over and over how she wasn't joining in, thankfully on this occassion she couldn't get anyone to opt out with her. After ten minutes or so, she starting kicking the table and told us "I'm going to kick the table" After another few minutes of being ignored, she joined in the actvity and actually enjoyed it! I have found this to be a regular occurance, and apart from askingher not to slam the door, I ignore her behaviour. I feel that all she wants is to recieve special or different attention from the rest of the class and uses this stubborness to achieve it. When she doesn't get the extra attention, she gives up. It has taken me a fair few incidents to work this out, and it seems to have the effect on this little girl. Unfortunately for her, I feel that she is missing out on so many learning oppurtunities due to her stubbornness.
     

Share This Page

Members Online Now

Total: 240 (members: 2, guests: 195, robots: 43)
test