What Do You Do When 4th Graders Hug You?

Discussion in 'General Education' started by Hamster, Jul 23, 2007.

  1. Hamster

    Hamster Comrade

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    I love kids and teaching kids. I consider myself a big kid. But, what do you do or say when kids hug on you all the time. I use to teach
    1st grade and I was ok with that. Now I'm moving to 4th. How do you handle that?
     
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  3. emmyblemmy

    emmyblemmy Companion

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    Just make sure that they know there is a proper time for hugs- before school starts and before you leave at the bell.
     
  4. shasha379

    shasha379 Devotee

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    I give my 5th graders a side hug. They may be bigger kids, but they still need hugs too.
     
  5. teachingmomof4

    teachingmomof4 Groupie

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    I would say that if they hug you, they are obviously the ones initiating the hug and therefore, they need one. I had a student, whom I had in second grade, who gave me hugs all the time; every time he saw me. He just finished 6th grade and will be going on to jr. high next year. He gave me a hug on the last day of school.
     
  6. Steph-ernie

    Steph-ernie Groupie

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    hugs aren't as frequent from 4th graders, but when they do hug me, I just hug them back. It's usually a quick, one armed hug, and I don't worry about it.
     
  7. teachingmomof4

    teachingmomof4 Groupie

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    No, probably not as frequent as the little ones. First and second graders just about plow you over with hugs. No warning, just a little body coming at you.
     
  8. agdamity

    agdamity Fanatic

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    Many of my 4th graders would give me a hug at the end of the day. They really craved positive attention from an adult. If you're worried about it being "inappropriate" you can give a side hug, or substitute a high five.
     
  9. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    I've had my former 3rd graders come by for a hug, I have one in particular that comes with his brothers, both older & younger & they all want a hug!
     
  10. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    I hug them back!
     
  11. loves2teach

    loves2teach Enthusiast

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    Hi & welcome- it is called an avatar. Go you to your user cp at the top left side & choose avatar. Pick the one you like, but you have to be a member for 30 days, and have 50 posts (I think).
     
  12. loves2teach

    loves2teach Enthusiast

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    Back to the topic :) I usually give side hugs- I have had students who give "real" hugs. I had 2 students who were from Puerto Rico (spoke zero english when I got them) who both hugged me & even held hands down the hallway. Their parents were fine with it, and from what the parents said, that is accepted in their culture.
     
  13. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    It is sad the question even has to be asked, but I completely understand. I had plenty of hugs from sixth graders last year...they were usually side hugs, so I just side hugged back. During student teaching I had a seventh grade boy hug me from behind - wrapped his arms around my waist - and that was not okay. Sometimes adults will do that to me, and I hate that! Most often, however, hugs are good. :love:
     
  14. ABall

    ABall Fanatic

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    Hamster, to have a personalized avitar, you need to be here for 30 days or have 50 posts. there are lots of regular ones though.
     
  15. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    It's a sad day when we have to ask a question like this.

    I hug them back. There are all types of hugs, and as long as it is a simple hug I see nothing wrong with that.

    If it makes you uncomfortable why not teach them a lesson that it's not appropriate to hug people in every setting.... what are some other ways we can be friendly, etc. Sounds ridiculous, but I've actually had to do the "boundary" thing with kids in an agency I worked for...
     
  16. January_Violet

    January_Violet Comrade

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    Hug them back in a friendly way. If you feel they are doing something inappropriate, tell them. If you want to limit the hugs, say something cute like..."You know I really like hugs between 2:00-2:05"...sorta limits their time.

     
  17. hbdb

    hbdb Rookie

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    Aug 10, 2007

    side hug
     
  18. ValinFW

    ValinFW Comrade

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    Aug 10, 2007

    I hug my 8th graders right back! Usually side hugs...
     
  19. Andrea L

    Andrea L Habitué

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    I agree. Hug them back. I love hugs! It shows me that they really like me and that I've made an impression.
     
  20. hanvan

    hanvan Connoisseur

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    How sad that we are having to ask this...you may be the only positive person in that childs life. If they hug you hug them back
     
  21. shouldbeasleep

    shouldbeasleep Enthusiast

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    I usually back off and tell them they are violating the zone of safety.

    No, really, a side hug works fine. (But then I go douse myself in antibiotic gel.)

    No, I'm joking. Sort of.
     
  22. shouldbeasleep

    shouldbeasleep Enthusiast

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    I'm pretty adept at side stepping. And then I say, as I'm quick stepping down the hall, "It's so nice to see you!. I'd love to talk, but I've got so much work to do. Come visit some time."

    I'm being mean. Father, please forgive me.
     
  23. ~mrs.m~

    ~mrs.m~ Comrade

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    Side hug at appropriate times is my opinion...
     
  24. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    I teach Middle school I hug them back!
     
  25. osutx

    osutx Rookie

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    I agree with the side hug thing.
     
  26. Daisyd

    Daisyd Rookie

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    Aug 10, 2007

    Side hugs are great. I also know a friend who would make up these intricate high-five special handshakes. All the kids thought it was cool that their class had their own "secret" handshake. :)
     
  27. Hamster

    Hamster Comrade

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    I guess I'm more afraid of lice than everyone else. Oh well.
     
  28. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Lice do not show up as much in the middle school
    hugging is part of the job
    Lice is just part of the job too
    When I first started teaching I mentioned lice to my Dr. He wrote me a scrip for the shampoo and said "here you go most teachers get them at least once in their teaching career."

    There are two types of teachers those who have had Lice and those who haven't got them yet
     
  29. LuvTchng

    LuvTchng Companion

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    I HUG THEM BACK, OF COURSE!! :D

    4th graders really do hug less than younger kids. I had a second grader last year who liked to get a running start before grabbing me and hanging on like an octopus. He bothered me way more than my 4th graders ever did. Their hugs were usually quick but sweet because they weren't sure if they were too old or too cool to hug their teacher. A couple of former students who were 5th graders this past school year were diligent about giving me daily hugs. I got 360 hugs between the two of them alone last year. :p

    And another thing, I've noticed that some of these children are so desperate for some sort of affection that they hug any adult who will respond. I get hugs from school kids I don't even know. It's like they see me hug someone else and say to themselves, "Wow, she gives hugs so maybe I should go and get me one." I would much rather they get the affection from me than from some sicko on the street.
     
  30. Ms.Jasztal

    Ms.Jasztal Maven

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    I hug my students back when they really need it and give them a great goodbye hug on the last day of school that I myself initiate. When they come back to visit in 5th, they normally hug me then as well.

    I am not one of the more affectionate teachers, but I've gotten better in feeling it's ok. I think it's because I am 25 that I fear and not more of a "mother" figure in that sense. Yet they definitely know I care for them. :)

    Then there are students who are just more affectionate and hug no matter what. They basically hugged daily. I had one like that 2 years ago, last year, and then now from what I've heard.
     
  31. apple25

    apple25 Comrade

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    What!! I certainly hope not!! We have had our share of lice scares, and last year scabies was present, but I've never heard of all teachers getting lice at least once in their career!!! I'm always careful to put my hair up for those weeks . . .

    I get some hugs in middle school - not as many as the elementary teachers do, but I agree with the above posts . . . if they hug you, it is because they need one!! If someone is hugging 50 times a day . . . that is a problem, but a random hug now and then is fine.
     
  32. Hamster

    Hamster Comrade

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    I kinow very clean families that got lice several times and the parents don't know what to do!! One girl was in 7th grade and showered every day. I don't want them once in my career and I do love teaching.
     
  33. flesteach

    flesteach Rookie

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    My kids are all African-American so I don't have to worry about that!!!!!!!!!!
     
  34. silverspoon65

    silverspoon65 Enthusiast

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    I teach high school and as long as there are other people around, I hug back too.

    I even had a goofball kid kiss me on the cheek one day after I gave him a hard time about kissing his GF in the hall. I obviously explained to him that he shouldn't do that again, but really... I have a good rapport with my students and I am probably one of the few people in their lives who really care and have constant contact with them on a daily basis. I hope they do consider me to be like family to them.
     

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