What are your best marriage tips someone told you or you discovered?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by TennisPlayer, May 1, 2009.

  1. TennisPlayer

    TennisPlayer Cohort

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  3. JustMe

    JustMe Virtuoso

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    I absolutely hated it when people would give me marriage advice just before and after I married. It was so incredibly annoying. What really got under my skin is when people would warn that I'd learn all kinds of new things about husband once we married that would be difficult to tolerate. It wasn't said specifically about my husband, mind you, but just about marriage in general...if that makes sense. So many people pass this tip along and I find it insulting. I spent an incredible amount of time with my husband before marrying him and we have always been thisclose, and I can honestly say that marriage wasn't the least bit "shocking". It wasn't less than expected, more than expected...it really didn't feel different at all. Sorry...I really don't know why that one particular comments aggravates me so. :)
     
  4. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Don't get married.
     
  5. Sarge

    Sarge Enthusiast

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    Do everything she says.

    Don't ask why because the reason won't make sense anyway
     
  6. dragonfly05

    dragonfly05 Companion

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    I have learned that marriage is one big compromise. You need to know how to communicate effectively and how to compromise. Choose your battles...and agree to disagree. Remember that you are two separate people, so have your own interests and hobbies. It's not healthy to meld into one person. And, have fun! :D
     
  7. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Do you have a single, like-minded brother?
     
  8. Erin Elizabeth

    Erin Elizabeth Groupie

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    :lol:
     
  9. fast chalk

    fast chalk Comrade

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  10. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    Write down his SS#, and carry it with you, you will be asked this time after time. (Yes, my mom did tell me this, and she was right.)
     
  11. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

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    Haha, this is true. My DH is paranoid, though, so I had to memorize his.

    The thing I remember is that all emotions are ok except one: contempt. This is the one that ruins everything. As long as I still remember that DH is still a good person no matter what, we stay together. I think I first heard this on Oprah when they had a counselor on who could predict just from videos which couples in marriage counseling were doomed to divorce. The comments they made were about how awful the spouse was. Those who she thought could work it out said the spouse was being a jerk but was still a good person.
     
  12. Rebel1

    Rebel1 Connoisseur

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    WELL!!!:D
    Here they are...
    -Never go to bed MAD! You might sleepwalk and do what?:unsure:
    It's something to think abt.;)
    -Keep the OUT-LAWs'(in-laws) visits short.:whistle:
    -Text him/her once a day with a joke or whatever?:love:!?
    -Keep the arguments short, especially IF you know you are wrong and you don't want to admit it.:D
    -Never be a passenger driver.:cool:
    -Keep your HOME clean and clutter free.:|
    -UPkeep yourself! :)
    -Keep the sex alive.:wub:
    -HAVE a SENSE OF HUMOR!:lol:
    -AND of course NEVER LET HIM/HER SEE YOU SWEAT! (Unless you are working out):spitwater:
    Marriage is a two-way street,
    Rebel1
     
  13. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    With my husband is it--never call or text him at work!!!:lol:
     
  14. dizzykates

    dizzykates Habitué

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    Find a hobby that doesn't involve yoru spouse and do it!
     
  15. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    I didn't read any but I think three keys to a happy marriage are

    1. Trust
    2. Respect
    3. Compromise

    Pretty much everything can fit neatly in to one of those 3 keys;)
     
  16. lemonhead

    lemonhead Aficionado

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    Or that! LOL
     
  17. MsMar

    MsMar Fanatic

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    Don't forget that married people should still go out on dates. Dh and I slack on this one sometimes, but when we start having the dates again it is great! We have two kids so between babysitter and the actual date, it can get a bit costly, but it's totally worth it. You need that time for just the two of you, out of the house, enjoying yourself. And if finances are an issue, you can be creative with something like a picnic or a walk.

    And I totally agree about having the separate interests. It's important to have something that's just for you.
     
  18. TeacherNY

    TeacherNY Maven

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    :lol: me too. An e-mail is ok though!
     
  19. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    I like that!
     
  20. blindteacher

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    Communication is key.
     
  21. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    I've been divorced 3 times I don't know anything :eek:

    Pay it forward never "owe one" to the spouse (don't worry if the spouse owes you)
    And
    "Well a man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home
    They shall travel on to where the two shall be as one"​

     
  22. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    I went to a marriage seminar/retreat early in our marriage. The chaplin talked a lot about the 7 love languages. The basic thing I got from that and still use today is to recognize that everyone has a different way of expressing love. If we only look at the way we would normally express love, we are missing out.

    My husband's love language is Action. Mine is Verbal/Written. I wanted him to talk to me about everything under the sun. Instead he apologizes by bringing home Cheddar Bay biscuits as a surprise. By the same token if I'm only using my love language and he's not picking it up and I don't show some action once in a while (get your mind out of the gutter), he feels neglected. It goes both ways. I guess my point is to recognize the other's love language and use their love language once in a while too.
     
  23. lilmisses1014

    lilmisses1014 Comrade

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    The advice I have wasn't given to me, but it was based on my observations of my parents' marriage. My parents are happily married, love each other VERY much... but they never did anything for themselves until my sister and I were practically out of the house. Their entire world revolved around me and my sister and they never went out on dates, never went on vacation together, never spent time alone together because they (well, my mom) were so afraid something would happen to me and/or my sister if they left us. (I'll note that we were well-behaved and never gave our parents reasons to not trust us. My mom was freaked that someone would rob the house, kidnap us, or whatever. Our grandparents lived with us when we were younger and were able to watch us, too.)
     
  24. DallasTeacher

    DallasTeacher Companion

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    Make time for yourself and as a couple, Argue/disagree fairly - avoid words such as always, never, don't sweat the small stuff, I will say that I adore my husband more today, 32+ years of marriage, than when we married. He's my rock and I have always been able to depend on him!

    Of course, he will tell you that once he enters the grounds to our home, it's my domain -- the office is his!
     
  25. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    and he is the defender of your domain
    and you are the feeder of the defender ​
    balance​
     
  26. DallasTeacher

    DallasTeacher Companion

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    You got it Irish! That's why it's worked for so many years! We each know our place. :)
     
  27. MissWull

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    I would suggest...

    *always be there for each other, especially with no judgment or opinion, sometimes they just need you
    *talk to each other throughout the day, not only that, but I'm so in love with my husband that I make sure to tell him how lucky I feel every so often
    *compromise is huge, things can't always go your way! (I know girls...we usually do get our ways!! hehe)
     
  28. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    You need a good sense of humor or you will be mad all the time. Laugh at yourselves together. Laugh at each others faults. We pick on each other constantly and laugh a lot.
     
  29. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

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    Don't become each other's only friend. This is really hard because when you are planning a wedding and in that first year you are consumed with each other (hopefully :)). You have to make yourself go out with your old friends and make new ones (alone and together).
     
  30. DallasTeacher

    DallasTeacher Companion

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    I'll add, marriage is not 50/50, yes sometimes it is, but sometimes it's also 30/70 or 60/40. A few years ago I had a very serious cancer scare. My dh basically fell apart. One of his partners, who we've known since college, became both of our support.
     

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