what age?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by e6789, Jun 26, 2012.

  1. e6789

    e6789 Rookie

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    Jun 26, 2012

    When did you have your first child? One of my coworkers hinted that it was time for me to have a baby!! I am not, because I know I am NOT ready. What are your thoughts? Is there a "right age"?
     
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  3. agdamity

    agdamity Fanatic

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    I had my first at 26. By that time I had been married almost 4 years and both my husband and I were settled in our careers. I don't think there is a "right" age. You're ready when you're ready.
     
  4. Caesar753

    Caesar753 Multitudinous

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    I think the right age happens when you want a baby and are stable enough (financially, emotionally, whatever) to have one.

    I don't have kids. I want them but it's not working out quite like I had hoped. Adoption is an option, but not for a few more years, mainly due to the upfront costs.
     
  5. geoteacher

    geoteacher Devotee

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    I was 28 and had already been married for anumber of years. I don't think there is one magical age. That being said, I think women need to be careful in thinking that they can wait forever. It does get harder to conceive as you get older - no matter how easy it seems when you look at celebrities!
     
  6. BettyRubble

    BettyRubble Rookie

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    I was 27
     
  7. bandnerdtx

    bandnerdtx Aficionado

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    I guess the "right" age is when it happens for you! LOL. :) I agree with Caesar that you should feel emotionally and financially stable before you actively try. For me, I was 24 and had been married for 2 years.
     
  8. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    I was 30. We had been married for a year. By our 4th anniversary we had three children. That was right for us. When it's right for you, you will know.
     
  9. lucybelle

    lucybelle Connoisseur

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    My boyfriend's mom is so obsessed with having grandchildren, the other day she heard I had a headache and says "great! I hope that means she's pregnant!" jajaja!

    Anyways, I'm 25 and I don't see any children in the near future. I'll need AT LEAST 5 more years of living my life before I bring another into the world.:)
     
  10. e6789

    e6789 Rookie

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    I know I could handle the responsibility of a child, but I would not choose it right now. Does that make sense? I love babies, and am very responsible, but I don't feel like all my ducks are in a row. When I explained to her that I would like to wait till I am financially ready, career established, and have my own home, she looked at me like I was crazy! She agreed that it helps to have money saved up for a child, but questioned if I would ever be ready because of my "long list"!!

    It wasn't just a curiosity, good friends type of question...it was a nosey, prying question. The way she questions me is almost as if she wants me to be stuck in the same place she is (stuck in low paying job, no goals, jerk husband, can't handle her responsibilities), so that she has affirmation that her life is okay. It was just a question with a lot of layers.
     
  11. Rebel1

    Rebel1 Connoisseur

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    Jun 26, 2012

    Any age after 18, and before 40 sounds good to me; as long as your child is not at a preschool, and you're at an old folk's home!:D
    You have to be really sure that you are ready for the child in every good way like Caes mentioned.
    Rebel1
     
  12. karebear76

    karebear76 Habitué

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    Jun 26, 2012

    I had my first at 28 and had been married 2 years. I was established at my current job and let nature take its course. That's when it happened for me.
     
  13. callmebob

    callmebob Enthusiast

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    Thought we were going to be having a kid, found out that is not going to be happening. 30 and still no kids. Seems as if that it needs to happen so or it will not happen at all.
     
  14. Rabbitt

    Rabbitt Connoisseur

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    There are pros and cons to having children at any time of your life.
     
  15. webmistress

    webmistress Devotee

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  16. Ima Teacher

    Ima Teacher Virtuoso

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    People are always ready to butt into things that aren't any of their business. Have them when you want them.

    It's always something. When I was single, I needed to be married. When I was married, I needed to have a baby. When I didn't have a baby, I was being selfish.
     
  17. Bored of Ed

    Bored of Ed Enthusiast

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    24 but it's waaaay too personal a thing to compare!
     
  18. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    When you have children, you will need a lot of energy for a very long time. Have your children in your 30's so you're not raising a teenager when you're 60 or older!
     
  19. Sheila

    Sheila Comrade

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    It is a very personal choice for everyone. I was 27. I think I was still too young!
     
  20. scmom

    scmom Enthusiast

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    Jun 27, 2012

    30 after being married 9 years and together 14.

    One of my sons thought we were too old - not as fun as his friends' parents, but certainly more stable, and he has rethought his opinion aas he got older.

    Imo, when you and your spouse are ready will be the right time. No one else pays the bills, stays up all night, etc. etc. so they don't get an opinion.
     
  21. Amanda

    Amanda Administrator Staff Member

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    I had just turned 31 and I think I should have had children much earlier. The truth is that you never really feel "ready" for a kid.
     
  22. Ilovesummer

    Ilovesummer Companion

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    I just turned 30 and right around my 30th birthday my biological clock started ticking, and I realized that my time is limited. Having a baby has been on my mind much more lately. There's no man in the picture though, so it's not likely to happen anytime soon.
     
  23. bison

    bison Habitué

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    I don't have kids, but I hope to be ready by the early 30s range. My mom had me when she was 40, and I wouldn't choose to wait that long. I worry about losing her, and I want her to get to know her grandchildren. At the same time, she did a lot of amazing things before she had me, and I had a great childhood. I'm not engaged or anything, but I am with someone who has the same timeline in mind. As long as all goes well and we feel ready, we've talked about marriage possibly when I finish school in a couple more years. Although I want them both, I definitely don't feel ready for marriage or children quite yet.
     
  24. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I was 30.
     
  25. MsMar

    MsMar Fanatic

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    28 and had been married four years. Both dh and I felt ready and it was the right time for us.
     
  26. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    I was 29 and had been married 6 years.
     
  27. Mrs. K.

    Mrs. K. Enthusiast

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    33 and married for 12 years. It took nearly 6 years of trying, medication, procedures...I wish we had started earlier, but I definitely wasn't ready. Things work out the way they're supposed to, I think.
     
  28. storyh

    storyh Companion

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    I was 19 and had been married for a year. I had my children at 19, 24, & 29. I am 32. My youngest is about to be three & to be honest I find it more exhausting with a little one in the house now than I did back then. Guess that just means I am already getting OLD... :( Anyway, everyone is different and only you can decide when the time is right :)
     
  29. kcjo13

    kcjo13 Phenom

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    I was 22, and married for almost 2 years. I waited just long enough to prove wrong those who thought I "had" to get married.

    I was probably too young, but we had been together forever, and wanted children so badly. Now that I am 33 and my kids are old enough to not be clinging to me constantly, I am happy with that decision.
     
  30. msmullenjr

    msmullenjr Devotee

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    I was 19, you simply have no choice but to be ready sometimes.
     
  31. leighbball

    leighbball Virtuoso

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    I was 29. Dh and I had only been married for 1 year when Nick was born but we had been together for 7.

    bnnnn hbjvjbvjbvjbvjbnbj bvjjbjkjhjjjjbjjjknkknklnknknknkk (from my 19 month old :))
     
  32. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Jun 27, 2012

    I'm my parents' only child & my mom was 36 when she had me. If I have a child at all, I'll be even older than that.

    An old high school pal of mine had her 1st at 36.

    In my personal opinion, THE PERFECT age to have a child is between 23 & 30. But, I know women have them in their early to mid 40s. But for those who have kids that late, I don't think that was their desire to & if they could redo it again, I'm sure they probably wouldn't have them that late. I mean who, when they're 17 or 18 & mapping out their life's dreams really says, "My dream is to start having kids at 43."
     
  33. donziejo

    donziejo Devotee

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    I had my twins at 18 and we had been married for 11 months so I married young. I had my dd at 38 so it was like raising two families. I was a grandma the same year too. Now that was strange:)

    I knew a lot more when I was 38. But, being naive and young and strong had its benefits. My friend had her first at 43, but she had started trying at 35 and given up all hope. So, she is like the most dotting mom ever. She's cute and fun about it and her dd is adorable.
     
  34. Mrs.DLC

    Mrs.DLC Comrade

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    30. Don, I have an aunt my age...she is already a great-grandmother!! I am happy being a grandmother...:) Sometimes circumstances are a big factor with having babies. I feel it's a miracle, whenever they arrive.
     
  35. smalltowngal

    smalltowngal Multitudinous

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    Jun 27, 2012

    I was 22 when I had my first. We had been married a year. My husband was 29 and wanted to have a baby before he turned 30. Looking back, I wish that we had waited. We would have had another one when I was 26, but it didn't work out. Our first will also be our last.

    My sister had her first when she was 25 when she had her first child. She just had her second 7 months ago and she's now 38.
     
  36. mkbren88

    mkbren88 Cohort

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    Jun 27, 2012

    I had my son at 24 (I'll be 27 in August). He was a complete surprise, but a very welcome surprise! If I didn't have him then, I would have wanted to have my first by 26/27. I know a lot of people who prefer to wait until they are older to start, and I can understand why. I am the first of my friends to have a baby, and it really did make me grow up a lot faster than them. They still go out, and drink all the time, and I just have different priorities now.
     
  37. ready2teachintx

    ready2teachintx Companion

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    I was 34. But, you have to be "ready" mentally and I had my
    20's to finish college, date and eventually marry the man of my dreams. We married when I was 30 and he was 27 and we spent those new married years enjoying our new life together. I would not change a thing:)
     
  38. sevenplus

    sevenplus Connoisseur

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    This is a very sensitive subject for me. If things had gone according to "my plan," I would have had 3 kids before I was 30. I got married at 23. We've been through many, many years of infertility and loss.

    After 13 years of ttc we have 1 living child. We are still trying because we want him to have siblings. We've been trying for a sibling for 5 1/2 years. I'm almost 41. DH just turned 48.

    I don't like it when people give cut-off dates for other people. You never know what life has in store.
     
  39. e6789

    e6789 Rookie

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    Jun 27, 2012

    Thanks for all the feedback. I am 23 now, and just beginning my teaching career. I would definitely like to find my teaching niche before I have a child. Before my conversation with her, I was thinking 5 years from now! All the women in their 40s and 50s in my life tell me not to have children until I'm 30 because life will be so much easier! I understand their concerns (most are more financially stable/mature at 30), but I also understand that there is such a thing as a biological clock. I am not gonna stress about my decisions, because it will happen when it's meant to be!
     
  40. Alesia

    Alesia Companion

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    I was 23, and sometimes I still don't feel ready.Having children is a blessing, but it is also ALOT of work.
     
  41. dgpiaffeteach

    dgpiaffeteach Aficionado

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    Jun 27, 2012

    No kids here, I'm only 22. I don't see kids in my foreseeable future but I guess you never know! I would like to have at least 1 before I'm 30. My mom had me at 30 and had a lot of complications. I know it doesn't mean I will, but it definitely makes me nervous! I'm the only even though they tried for years.
     

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