Well, they hate me already.

Discussion in 'General Education Archives' started by InTheMiddle06, Feb 8, 2006.

  1. InTheMiddle06

    InTheMiddle06 Rookie

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    Feb 8, 2006

    I am student teaching in a seventh grade school this semester. I very much like my cooperating teacher, although she is more lenient that I am. I am responsible for two classes at this point and I operate those classes at my discretion as I was told to do. I am having to "stand my ground" with the students, who are of course not always pleased that I require them to follow the rules. For example, students are not supposed to talk in the halls, however they usually did with their regular teacher. Now that I am walking them to lunch I (try to) enforce the no-talking policy. You would think I was crazy by the kids reactions. It's like they think I am the most strict person ever. I am always fair and courteous to students.

    I am enjoying my time in the classroom and enjoy the kids very much. However, at bus duty this afternoon one of my students came to me and said, "Oh, people are talking so bad about you!! Anna really hates you; she was saying all kinds of really bad things during gym!" I know exactly why this girl is upset...this afternoon I was circulating through the room while they worked. She had her "Bellringer" notebook on the table which is where they answer trivia-type questions at the beginning of the period. They must write 5 sentences each day in order to receive credit and this fact is stressed every single day on the board and verbally. All she had was the question written down with the correct answer circled. You don't even have to write the question down, so essentially she did nothing. I said politely, "Where's your answer from today's bellringer?" She pointed to the circled answer, which is given during the discussion. I said, "You realize you need to have five sentences, right? This won't even count when Mrs. Hinder collects your Bellringer notebook." She hardly said a thing, but this is apparently what she is mad at.

    I guess my point is this...
    My goal is not to be liked by everyone. I must enforce the rules because if I want a job here next year then when I am walking down the hall with the students I need for the principle to see that I can control the class. Do you think I should just lax up and let things go? If I do that then when I am observed by my university professor then things will go bad to say the least, I imagine anyway.

    I am a very self-conscious person and I know it will be a challenge to get to the point where I am not bothered when students dislike me or say negative things about me when I turn my back. Still, no one likes to be the butt of a joke and the source of such conversations. Any ideas about any of this? THANKS.
     
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  3. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    Feb 8, 2006

    An important piece of advice that I got when I started teaching this year....DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY. It's not that they dislike you. Honestly, their feelings will change with the wind. Do something they like and they love you, get in their face and regardless of how much they loved you yesterday, they will hate your guts. Just roll with the punches and stick to your own agenda of enforcing rules, and being fair. They will respect you for it in the long run.
     
  4. Born2Run

    Born2Run Rookie

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    Feb 8, 2006

    I know how you feel. I've been there before, and I still struggle with the same things that you are going through. I am a brand new teacher. I teach P.E. I will tell you what my principal and fellow teachers have told me - STAND YOUR GROUND. I know that's what you're doing already. Your consistency will pay off in the long run. The students are testing you to see what they can get away with; that's what it all comes down to. That makes it hard on you because the students are already used to your cooperating teacher, who you said is less leniant than you are. It just takes time for students to adapt to change.

    I am going to tell you something that I have to remind myself of sometimes: It's better to be strict at the beginning rather than being very lax. You can always lighten up later on - that is, after you have full control of your classroom! If you're lax at the beginning and then get really strict, it's going to be worse for you and your students.

    I am a self-conscious person too, and it is hard when negative things are said about you. I have faced that too. It will be a challenge for both of us to not worry about what everyone says. Just know in your heart that you are doing the absolute BEST you can! I hope this gives you some encouragement!
     
  5. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Feb 9, 2006

    This shows you are doing a great job.
     
  6. wig

    wig Devotee

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    Feb 9, 2006

    It sounds like youy are doing a super job. Face it...middle school is extremely challenging. I call it the years of the galloping hormones. You really cannot take anything they say too personally (hard, I know). Your job is to teach - not become their best friend.
     
  7. daysy_may

    daysy_may Groupie

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    Feb 12, 2006

    I agree with what everyone's said, there will always be a student that "dislikes" you, stand your ground, and definetly in the beginning, all good advice.
     
  8. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Feb 12, 2006

    I agree with everyone else. Tomorrow the same child could love you.
    You may have embarrassed her. So that was her way to retaliate. I would talk with the teacher about which students struggle in class. She may be one of them. That way you will know which ones not to call attention to.
     
  9. sofiluv

    sofiluv Rookie

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    Feb 14, 2006

    If there's anything I have learned thus far in student teaching is to hold my ground and not to worry too much about cthe way kids look at me at times, the way they respond, or what they say, Kids are kids and if you worry too much about what they think or say, you will be worrying for a very long time...(I am the exact same way thoguh, so Im trying really hard not to let those little things bother me) It sounds like you're doing a great job...we'll live...
     
  10. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Feb 15, 2006

    I have found over the years that students like structure. As long as your caring they love you. It is the teachers that are mean/hurtful or just dont' care and let them run wild that do not have the students' respect.
     
  11. Mrs_Barrett

    Mrs_Barrett Cohort

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    Feb 15, 2006

    When I student taught in a 6th grade resource room, I was called a bitch by one of the students like 3 times in one class. The same student also told me that he hated weeks after getting there. I didn't take much of it personally, because he was only a 6th grader. The problem I had with the whole situation was the lack of support from administration and my supervising teacher. He never received any punishments for any of that.
     
  12. teacherece

    teacherece Cohort

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    Feb 19, 2006

    If students don't like you then you must be doing something right. Remember, they don't have to like you but they MUST respect you. I've already had a student tell her mom she didn't like the student teacher (me). I have my own set of rules for listening while I'm talking (imagine that). The little girl didn't like that I wouldn't let her talk to her friend, etc. Anyway, she loves me now and gives me hugs...it's like being a parent. They will like you....children need rules..they will respect you for it. If you are lenient, they will walk all over you.

    Good luck
     
  13. sofiluv

    sofiluv Rookie

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    Feb 19, 2006

    Mrs. Barrett, that sounds awful... I would certainly want something to be done about that unacceptable behavior it seems though, that B**ch has become such a common language word now that it hardly gets the discipline it merits when used against another.
     
  14. DannoMI

    DannoMI Rookie

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    Feb 28, 2006

    I have to say I am a bit surprised by the advice and comments that are here. Saying that its good that the kids don't like isn't good. Kids don't learn in environments that breed dislike. In middle school kids are having to go through hormones, changes in relationships, ect. They don't need a teacher publicly chastizing them for something. One thing that I noticed was that you publically told "Anna" that she was going to fail an assignment. Maybe that should have been done another time away from her friends. Put yourself in thier shoes. Yes they do have to respect you but its always nice when they like you too. No one wants to be the teacher know one wants, its worse to know it.
     
  15. DannoMI

    DannoMI Rookie

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    Feb 28, 2006

    Sorry about the mis-spellings.
     
  16. ViolaSwamp

    ViolaSwamp Habitué

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    Mar 8, 2006

    No, Perkins said, "I was circulating thorough the room". I don't think it was publicly announced. I think Perkins was having a private conversation with Anna.

    Kids are fickle. How many times have you heard a small child say, "You are not my friend," and seen the two children playing together just 10 minutes later? How many times have you seen two teen girls having a cat fight and then acting like best friends the next day? I've had kids who acted completely inappropriately and rude to me one day and then they've gone out of their way to say 'Hi' to me as I passed them in the halls. The kids are testing her out. Perkins is not unliked!

    Perkins you are doing fine. Keep up the good work!
     
  17. sofiluv

    sofiluv Rookie

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    Mar 8, 2006

    She did not tell her she was going to fail an assignment, she implied it by telling her that not completing the assignment was unacceptable. I don't see anything wrong with her pointing that out. If other kids overheard, then it's good, b/c then they too would know that such behavior is unacceptable. It set a precedent at the very least.
     
  18. teacherece

    teacherece Cohort

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    Mar 8, 2006

    Let's keep in mind that this area is for student teachers. It's important that we have this environment here to vent our frustrations without being chastized. Advice is certainly welcome, especially from veteran teachers. Personally, I'm not teaching to be friends with my students. They respect me as a teacher and the entire school staff loves and respects me as a person and teacher (that includes the principal and superintendent). As I said before, teaching is like parenting. I love my kids and they love and respect me. I'm not their friend, nor do I intend to be. The same holds true for my students. I'm not teaching to win a popularity contest. I see too many really young teachers whose students love them. Of course they do, there is no management in the classroom and the kids run the room. I'll take respect over like any day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  19. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    Mar 9, 2006

    Well said.
     
  20. lmns79

    lmns79 New Member

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    Mar 9, 2006


    You said it BEST yourself! You're not in a classroom to make freinds. My first time teaching I took over as a Long Term Sub when the teacher decided (only like 2 weeks notice) she was quitting and movng 1 week before thanksgiving. The kids loved her.... and tried everything to break me. The next year when I had them again for part 2 of their class. They respected me a lot more for doing what needed to be done. Stduents expect and need rules. They won't say it, but we all know it. They look for some direction, not having it for so long is going to make them a little difficult, but you'll do fine!:)
     

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