Weird Internet Dating Story

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Maithal, May 11, 2008.

  1. Maithal

    Maithal Cohort

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    May 11, 2008

    Hi Everyone!
    I just have this weird feeling after this experience last night. To try to make a long story short, I was lead on by a guy getting to know me for 1 - 1.5 hours saying he was only looking for friends by joining the site (rather not say which one). Then I showed interest in this one guy 2.5 hours away from me (I'm not Christian and it can be hard to find guys in my culture).

    So, we talked Monday (day after guy lead me on) on phone and he seemed so genuine. He told me he got hurt recently as did I. He then said he's moving across the country next yearb/c he got accepted to a fellowship program but this year they're waiting to find out where in US he'll be. It's a new program so it could be a month before they know this. So, he said let's think about it and talk soon to figure out where we should be. I emailed him later to say that I thought he was really genuine and drawn to that, but that I was afraid of distance as I'm looking for a job in CT.

    Yesterday he came on yahoo messanger. We chatted. He said he was struggling with this. He said he likes to give girls a chance that seem nice. He then said this....since we both don't think it's a good time to start a real relationship with each other why don't we have an online relationship. I was shocked! He was like I'm not as nice a guy as you think I am. I'm just average, home on a Friday night, and I'm hor*y

    I was shocked. So, I said no to the online relationship and said if he were moving to somewhere in northeast would he consider starting something with me and he was like yeah if you could move, but you can't, and he kept saying so why not make out online.

    Wow, that was weird. I basically said no and he's like forget I met you and he said I gotta go and he left. It was soooo strange, and I'm new at dating too. I blocked this guy from contacting me through yahoo messager, and if he contacts me again through email or phone (which I doubt) I'm telling him never to contact me.


    Just had to share. Wow! Some guys are pervs. I hope my "dream" man comes quickly before I encounter any more weirdos again.


    Come out, come out wherever you are....
     
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  3. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Looks like you found a weirdo. But you did the right thing by blocking him.

    Can you say Next?

    Just to set the record straight, the last guy didn't "lead you on". That would imply that by talking to you and trying to get to know you every guy is leading someone on. The fact is, he told you the truth... that's alot more than some guys would have done. Dating is essentially a game. Don't look at every guy as your potential husband. Just enjoy getting to know someone.
     
  4. Maithal

    Maithal Cohort

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    May 11, 2008

    Yeah, the first guy did sort of lead me on b/c he wasn't about to tell me he was looking for just friendship the entire time (nothing more). I had to get that out of him. So essentially, he did "lead" me on. His profile clearly seemed like he was looking for more, but he said he just joined to make friends nothing more.

    Oh well, as MissFrizzle says "Next."
     
  5. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

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    May 11, 2008

    When I was a teenager I met someone at a major event that included students from around Texas. We wrote back in forth gor several months (on actual paper that we mailed :eek:). We talked on the phone regularly too. One day I received a really filthy letter that was totally out of character. I did talk to him one more time to tell him that the letter was not OK with me and that I wouldn't accept any more letters/phone calls. Luckily he let it go after I sent a few of the letters back. It was really crazy because it wasn't really like we were dating or had any expectations other than as friends and a "maybe one day" kind of thing. Also, we were all of 16-17. People are weird sometimes.
     
  6. Maithal

    Maithal Cohort

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    Yeah, I so want to write him and be like "You're such a loser and need to grow up if you want to date someone. You lost a great girl aka "me." I never want to hear from you again."

    Then again, he's not even worth an email like that. What a sleezy, low life.
     
  7. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    May 11, 2008

    So, this is that same guy you started a thread about before right? What a strange guy he turned out to be! If all he wants now is an online fling & he said he was hor*y, you know where that will lead to...eventually he'll want naked pics of you, etc., etc. YUCK! Usually unscrupulous people like that have webcams so they can watch (you know what...sexual things) in motion!

    Are you sure you can't find people in other ways besides online because finding a relationship via the internet is so crazy & they can be hiding anything. What they type to you could be so far from the truth, it's not even funny.

    Can any friends or relatives introduce you to someone? What if you took a class at your local community center, college, etc. to not only learn, but meet new people? How about taking up golf, art, etc.

    Again, good luck to you with finding a genuinely great guy. I know, it's tough out there. I'm a single person myself & I'm not the club/bar type. I don't smoke & drink, which is what everyone seems to do.
     
  8. glenn

    glenn Rookie

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    May 11, 2008

    I think on-line dating is a great way to connect with people and see if you are a match. I would just be a little careful about giving out your phone number. It is very easy to do a reverse look up on a phone number (including cell and unlisted numbers) and get an address.
     
  9. ABall

    ABall Fanatic

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    my husband and I met on AOL 12 years or more ago............ no dating service.............. maried for 10+ years, and 4 kids later......... we are doing great.


    be weary of the pervs though!
     
  10. Maithal

    Maithal Cohort

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    Yeah exactly! This one guy wanted my # on Friday. I refuse to give it to him. He was pushy in a way, then I told him I wasn't interested. Yeah he was cute, but NO I didn't feel comfy giving him my phone #.

    No, this is a diff. guy that I just met this week (he's history though)....Ms. I.

    That's great you and your hubby are still going strong Aball! :)
     
  11. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    maithal- I empathize with you truly I do....I agree that the last guy didn't lead you on- you said you didn't feel chemistry and the guy decided after one face to face meeting to let you off the hook by saying he was looking for a friend only....You've said you are new at dating...know that dating can involve a lot of disappointment but can also let you meet a lot of different people, see what you really want in a relationship, get to know yourself in a relationship better...

    Forgive me for saying this but having been around the forums for a while this dating thing seems to have the same pattern for you as job searches- you get really psyched and your heart set on ONE guy or ONE job and then you are heartbroken when things don't work out. I think in both arenas you need to meet and greet a lot of dates/hiring districts, feel them out to see if their needs meet your expectations (do they want what you want, are you qualified to meet the requirements, do they meet your requirements...), and then take it one step at a time - keeping your options open until the contract is signed/ or you are in a true committed relationship. :2cents:
     
  12. Maithal

    Maithal Cohort

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    Yeah, but the first guy would have NEVER said anything to me about wanting just friendship if I didn't ask. So, he did sort of lead me on thinking he was looking for more (if you read his profile you'd understand why).

    Thanks for everyone's replies.

    Ms. I - I reread your reply to my post. Like you, I too don't care to drink, go to the bar, or go clubbing. Let's hope there are some decent and genuine guys out there that love us for us.
     
  13. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Maithal, I agree! I hope you find that special someone soon!
     
  14. Maithal

    Maithal Cohort

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    May 12, 2008

    Thanks Ms. I! :) I hope you also find that special someone soon! :) We deserve it!
     
  15. scienceteach82

    scienceteach82 Cohort

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    I've met 4 guys in person from online. 3 of them from an online game I used to play in highschool. 1 through match.com...that one was a FREAK! I dated him for 1 year...and he was such a religious nut, that I had to get out. -shudder- His family was very nice, but he was just gross...was my first real boyfriend, so I was blinded by what I thought was love. -gag-

    the other 3...lol. 1 came down for my HS graduation...parents never found out...thank god. he was 18, I was 17...we still chat every now and then. the other 2 I met in the same year. one guy lied about his age...was a lot older than he said...and he was nasty...
    the other one was really fun to hang out with...so nice...then cheated on me...

    lovely jerks
     
  16. scienceteach82

    scienceteach82 Cohort

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    We all need that special someone...I'm glad that other have found theirs...gives the rest of us hope :)
     
  17. dizzybri14

    dizzybri14 Companion

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    May 12, 2008

    I have met many guys from online. There are plenty of guys that will lie to make them sound "wonderful" and those that think they are wonderful. I have however met many other nice guys so it is possible. I have been dating the same guy for 2 years now (who I met online).
     
  18. newbie1234

    newbie1234 Companion

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    I know this probably sounds really cheesy, but is there any way for you to take a pottery class, language class, attend religious activities nearby, or something like that? Most of the guys I've met who I've dated for any length of time I've met at activities that interest me. The online thing can definitely work out. Nowadays almost everybody is online, and it's not just for weirdos anymore (except that freaky guy you met). The online thing just hasn't worked for me. I met my husband at an extracurricular activity that we both enjoyed, so I knew that at a bare minimum he was adorable and shared some of my interests. Plus I had an excuse to bug him about stuff, when I really just wanted to hang out. ;-)
     
  19. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

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    I met my husband online, and many great guys before him. My husband has never had a drink of alchohol, is fantastic with money, has a great job in advertising, etc. He went online because he had just moved to a new state and worked late, so he thought it would be a nice way to meet a girl. I went online because I was in college and wanted a more mature, settled guy than I was finding in my classes. It's all in how you present yourself, through your pictures and profile. We both had humorous paragraphs and pictures, which kept the weirdos away and attracted us to each other.

    Keep the faith, and good luck! (PS-Engineers are great, too-very nice, smart, down to earth and employable!)
     
  20. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Responding to him would be like adding fuel to the fire. The best response is no response.

    It's cliche- but you will find him when you least expect it. Beleive me... it happened to me and I'm happily married now.
     
  21. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Since you are new to the dating scene, this is like a crash course in navigating through all the weirdos... just think of it as a learning experience.

    Dating ( like anything else) takes practice. I don't mean this in any way to be an insult. I'm totally serious. With each person that you meet you will be more comfortable interacting with them and your confidence will emerge.

    If you think of it as getting to know yourself, rather than another person... you will have an easier time. Dating is a fabulous time. Enjoy it for what it is.
     
  22. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    May 12, 2008

    Did the online dating thing for quite a while, sometimes successfully. Yes, I also had more than my fair share of requests for "cybering" (blech), which thankfully ended when I changed my picture to one with a thick turtleneck sweater. Had a couple of good relationships. Oddly, I wound up marrying the best friend who talked me through the breakups.
     
  23. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    Me too...LOL
     

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