A friend of mine lost her spouse this past October. I help with HS volleyball and her daughter plays. At volleyball practice last night, another mom was in a hurry to drop off her daughter so she could pick up her wedding ring before it closes. Then she says "I feel naked with it. You know how it feels don't you 'Jill'? Oh, I see you're still wearing your wedding ring." Then she leaves. You could see the shock on Jill's face. As soon as she left, I told Jill that she can wear her wedding ring forever. 'Kathy' was rude to even say something. Jill says it's not the first time someone said something! REALLY people?!? Jill has three at home children. I would think it would be even more challenging to take it off because of them!
There's no reason for her to take it off. For starters, it's HER ring on HER finger-- no one else's buisness. Even more than that though, her marriage ended when her spouse died. It's not that they agreed to split up; he was taken from her. I'm sure that in her heart, she still feels very committed to her late husband. My mom still wears her wedding ring, and we lost dad in 2003. The idiocy, and downright cruelty, of some people is mind boggling. Give Jill an extra hug from your teacher friends.
I know my friend who lost his spouse wore his ring for quite sometime... I see nothing wrong with it. When she is ready to she'll take it off, if she wants to. I can't believe someone would say something like that... does that woman have a heart?!
It would have been soooo different if Kathy would have reacted as though she realized what she just said. We all say things we didn't intend.
My mom still wears her wedding ring from her first marriage, even though she is remarried. Because it's pretty and she paid for it! There's some things you should just never mention. A recently passed spouse should be one of them.
I'll gently disagree that one shouldn't mention a spouse who has died: one recurring complaint among the bereaved is that, when no one will even mention a dead family member's name, it feels as though as though that person never even existed. But the ring can stay on.
I would not even feel that my marriage ended if my spouse died so I don't think I would take mine off. My co-worker is widowed and remarried and she wears the first husband's ring on her right hand and her new husband's ring on the left.
