Wedding Memorial

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by DizneeTeachR, Mar 8, 2010.

  1. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Mar 8, 2010

    I know some of you on here have lost a parent & I was wondering if you did some sort of Memorial at your wedding. My friend has put me in charge of that for her wedding!!!

    I found a couple candle holders with etching in it. But the twist is that she wants a lot of people involved. She would like to have a vase with a flower & then either light a candle or something. I was thinking maybe doing a different colored sand for all of us involved...or colors of the wedding. She wants like 8 people involved because we were all close & kinda just became a "big" family! Which I think is so sweet.

    Any advice would be much appreciated!!!
     
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  3. catnfiddle

    catnfiddle Moderator

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    One thing I have seen is to have seats put aside and decorated with pictures of those who could only be there in spirit and memory. It was tasteful without altering the happy mood of the day.
     
  4. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    We lit candles. I have also been to a wedding where bells were handed to a few members of the family and they rung them in memory of the love ones after a poem was read.
     
  5. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    She wants to do something...I think we may all put a flower of some sort in a vase that is engraved. I think she wants something that she can have afterwards.

    The bells are an interesting thing.
     
  6. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    I found this:
    *Compile a floral centerpiece. Have a vase on the altar, or at the back of the ceremony site. Give each guest a flower as they enter and have them place it in the vase. During the ceremony, one last flower can be placed in the vase in memory of the deceased family member. As a final symbolic gesture, the bride and groom can each insert a red rose into the center of the arrangement, signifying them being surrounded by the love and support of their family and friends. The arrangement can be used to decorate the head table or in another location at the reception.

    Thought it was a cool idea.
     
  7. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Ooh...mrachelle...that would be cool!!! I know this will sound silly but her family is really big, but she just wants it to be our 2 families, but if there are like 8 of us & she & her hubby put them in the middle that would be cool!!!

    Thanks I'll pass this along!!!
     
  8. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    Here is the poem that was read at a friend's wedding.
    "Although death has separated us physically, faith and love have bound us eternally.
    Though we cannot see you, we know you are here.
    Though we cannot touch you, we feel the warmth of your smile, as we begin a new chapter in our lives.

    Today we pause to reflect upon those who have shaped our character,
    Molded our spirits and touched our hearts.
    May the lighting of this candle be a reminder of the memories we have shared,
    A representation of the everlasting impact you have made upon our lives."
     
  9. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    I'm not sure if we are reading a poem or trying to find a holder that we could engrave a poem on.

    I'll have to ask... I was just given this "job" today...luckily I have some time before the wedding!!!
     
  10. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    I found this on the internet while I was looking for the poem.

    We bought flowers (your wedding flowers) and put them on a vase and set them in front of a statue in the church. The song "Angels Among Us" was played to honor them. We also included a special verse in the program.

    “Angels Among Us” will be played in memory of all the loved ones who are unable to attend our special day, especially our grandparents, who are in our hearts today and always. They showed us how to live, taught us how to give and guided us with the light of love. We know they are among us today.
     
  11. AMK

    AMK Aficionado

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    I had a candle with my parents names on it. The priest lit it and mentioned their names. I also had their names on the program. We chose no pictures and nothing too much as some members of my family are still struggling with the loss
     
  12. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    I am so excited that you are throwing all these things out there!!! THANK YOU!!!
    Her mom passed a while ago, so it's still sad, but we would love to celebrate her love for her daughter.

    Question for you... would you put a pic of mom & daughter (bride) in a frame or mom in on her wedding day?!? Bride is leaving it up to me?!?! UGH!!! I think either will be very special, but I just can't decide.
     
  13. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    I think mother and daughter.
     
  14. Anne wmcosuvamu

    Anne wmcosuvamu Companion

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    My half-brother did this at his wedding for our father (he's my father's son from a previous marriage). They sat my mom, my brother, and I next to the empty chair that had a rose on it. There's this picture of the three of us in tears after they told us what it meant -- I'd warn those close to the person before you did anything quite like this!

    I'm getting married in May and my fiance and I have both lost a parent (his mother, my father) we haven't quite decided how to handle it. His family also traditionally acknowledges his maternal grandfather who passed some years ago, but since I have no grandparents left, a listing of those who cannot be with us going back 2 generations might be a little overwhelming. We might put something in the program about grandparents and have the officiant mention our deceased mother & father.
     
  15. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    This was a touchy subject for my husband and I when we got married. I think it can easily become a full-on memorial and you need to consider not only the bride and groom's feelings, but also how the guests will feel seeing their loved one's pictures or whatever. With us, we had both lost a parent (my mother had been gone 11 years and his dad only 10 months) and it was too painful for us to have any sort of memorial. What we did do was we had LiveStrong bracelets (and donated to Dana Farber) for our favors in memory of his father who died from lung cancer.

    What I do like is when brides attach a small picture frame to their bouquet with a picture of a family member who they've lost. That way, they know it's there, but no one else has to stare at the pictures all day/night.
     
  16. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Beth,
    This wasn't my idea it's the bride's. She wants to have this at her wedding. She just asked me because we are like sisters & I've known the family since the bride was a tot!!!

    I told she needs to do what she wants to do.
    I do think it will be emotional in a good/sad way, but isn't that how death affects a lot of us? I get a little choked up thinking about it, but her mom was just a cool person.
     
  17. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    If it is important for the bride, then make her happy!:angel:
     
  18. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    That's what I figure...it's not my "day" it's hers. I'm touched she wants me to help with this!!! Now I just want to do it tactfully for all who participate & attend the wedding.
     
  19. kidsandpups

    kidsandpups Companion

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    Instead of giving out favors at the reception we put out nice scrolls that said that we had donated money to charity in my grandmother's and my husband's mother's and grandmother's memory.
     
  20. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    I was at a wedding once that did this and then had a pretty box set up with the deceased picture by it at the reception. People could give to the charity in her honor. The lady had died of cancer, so the family donated the money to cancer research. They had a comment in the wedding program about it. It was set up in a corner, so it was not the attention of the wedding. It made the family happy.
     
  21. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Those are all great ideas to donate... She talked with her dad & they have decided to do the flower thing, unless something else comes along. It's important to honor her mom at her wedding!!!
     
  22. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    Glad I could help. I am having a rough week, so it is nice to be able to contribute to someone's happy day.
     
  23. DizneeTeachR

    DizneeTeachR Virtuoso

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    Now I just have to find the pic & the vase...you may be asked for help again!!! :)

    I know I have a pic of bride & mom in a dance costume...I just have to look around & maybe head over to her dad's house!!!

    I'm glad her dad knows & is on board..I'm sure it's hard for him as well!!! We are all a little protective of each other... LOL!!!
     
  24. Beth2004

    Beth2004 Maven

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    I know it was the bride's idea, so obviously, you're going to do what she wants, but I just wanted to mention that you need to be careful that it doesn't become a memorial service to family members who can't be there.
     

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