Was I wrong? Fellow teacher thinks I "told" on her

Discussion in 'Elementary Education Archives' started by fairfax, Aug 14, 2006.

  1. fairfax

    fairfax Rookie

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    Tonight was parent night. I was explaining our homework policy to the parents... one of our teachers does homework differently, so I said "If your child is in Ms. C's class, she does homework differently, but the rest of us....."

    I was being honest so as not to confuse any of her parents that were there.

    She was LIVID with me after, saying "I can't believe you said I was different, never say I do anything different than the team!"

    The principal/vice principal were at our parent night presentation. I guess she is worried they will talk with her about why she is "different"

    I feel horrible that she is so mad. I had no intention of "outing" her.

    I told her I was sorry, but then we all left.

    What to do?
     
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  3. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    I know you didn't mean any harm, but it's always good to stick to what you do and mind your own business. I don't blame her for being a little upset, but I'm sure it will blow over.

    Live and learn. It was a mistake. don't beat yourself up.
     
  4. SpecEdTeacher

    SpecEdTeacher Companion

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    You didnt say she did it wrong...just different.
    make sure she knows, and if any parents or admin ask, be sure to tell them, differeint...not wrong.

    stick to your guns...you didnt say it to make her look bad.
     
  5. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    She over-reacted. You did not do anything wrong to her. Don't worry about it.
     
  6. fairfax

    fairfax Rookie

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    to be clear

    this time last year I had 2 parents come in and question our homework policy - they were very confused and upset.... that was in my head... so I wanted to be extra clear and cover all bases...

    And my words were "Ms. C does it differently, but it is all the same work".
     
  7. MissFrizzle

    MissFrizzle Virtuoso

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    don't sweat it.... she's probably under a lot of stress just like you.
     
  8. SpecEdTeacher

    SpecEdTeacher Companion

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    then that is what you tell anyone...including her, that asks about it. i say good for you...cover your bases from the beginning.
     
  9. worrywart

    worrywart Companion

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    Personally, I think she is way too sensitive. So what if she does things a little different - I don't really see why she would be upset about saying that.

    However, I do agree that sticking to what *you* do is best! Have a great year!
     
  10. Missy

    Missy Aficionado

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    If you were talking to the parents of all the students in the grade I think you definitely needed to mention this so the parents in that class would know to get info from her. Hope all goes well tomorrow!
     
  11. Ms.Jasztal

    Ms.Jasztal Maven

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    This happens in the schools. I cannot stand when people jump to conclusions. Did you explain how things are done differently? If so, you were in the right. Maybe it was your wording, in her opinion. What does she do differently?
     
  12. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    We don't have a set cut and dry policy for homework. However, we try and stay close to the same page to make it easier for parents. If she does something different, that's her choice, but she has to be prepared to explain why she is doing it so different. I'm assuming that you were having all the parents for your grade together? I don't think you did anything wrong at all, but for sake of peace, in the future maybe you could say something along the lines of " Since our homework policies are different, you will receive written information on an individual basis to explain the policy of your's child's teacher." Or something along those lines.
     
  13. Steph-ernie

    Steph-ernie Groupie

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    I agree with Christy - if she is going to do things differently than the team, then she needs to expect people will know and talk about it. Hopefully time will cool her anger.
     
  14. fairfax

    fairfax Rookie

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    Since last year our parents were confused, we agreed as a team to send home a packet and all check 1 page per day.

    I send homework to the copy center, and she let me know last year and this year already to not copy any sets for her class. She says she sends the book home or makes her own copies.

    I see how she felt I did not have her "back" or whatever, but I also agree if she does it different to be able to explain it to whoever asks.

    Plus, she's got 17 years experience on me, and 6 more years than I do at our school... so if anyone is under the microscope as far as following rules, it'd be me, the new-ish teacher......

    I feel a lot better, thanks for the replies.
     
  15. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    You're welcome Fairfax...enjoy your day with no worries!
     
  16. ChristyF

    ChristyF Moderator

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    Don't let the years fool or intimidate you. I've seen some first year teachers that taught circles around the "veterans". You did nothing wrong, and she will, I would imagine, eventually cool down. I know it makes for an uncomfortable start to the year. Good luck!
     
  17. czacza

    czacza Multitudinous

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    She was probably extra sensitive to what you said given that the principal and vp were there. It is best to talk about your policy/classroom and no one else's...if there are questions about why 'Mrs C does it differently', refer the asking parent right back to Mrs C ("Well, if you have questions for Mrs C, please ask her. This is how we do it in this classroom.....")
     
  18. mrsammieb

    mrsammieb Devotee

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    Write her a note telling her you think she is wonderful and you didn't mean anything by it. Then leave it on her desk with a candy bar (a snicker bar saying yall can snicker about this later?) and I'll do your duty for you pass.

    It always works!
     
  19. mrsnoble116

    mrsnoble116 Companion

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    woo, that's a touchy person you work with. I'd walk on eggshells.

    I wouldn't apologize. I would have done the same thing you did. It's different, so, it's different.
     
  20. fairfax

    fairfax Rookie

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    Thanks for the words of wisdom... I just decided that I simply stated the facts and was not going to let it bug me today.

    Ms C was VERY outgoing towards me, brought my copies in, etc. I took that as her feeling bad for lashing out and so all is well at school now!

    AND our math aide was sitting with the principal during Parent Night and told me today that the principal commented on my speaking ability/confidence in front of the parents! I was thrilled.... compliments mean the world in this profession since SO much of our good work goes unnoticed (in the day by day sense.... I know parents are always grateful, but that instant "good job" is just not around much for us!)

    Had to share, I was smiling about that all day.

    Hope your days are going well too!
     
  21. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    wow, fairfax...way to go! That kind of thing can keep your spirits up for a very long time!
     
  22. katerina03

    katerina03 Devotee

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    This is why I am extremely worried about being a new teacher...fear of accidentally offending someone and having them hold a grudge (hopefully she won't ). I would rather make up than fight, but not everyone is like that :(
     
  23. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    When we get busy and stressed, we can over-react or easily take something the wrong way. Just remember, a little chocolate and a happy face sticker go a long way!
     
  24. katerina03

    katerina03 Devotee

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    Great advice. I will remember that! Thank you! I know I would believe someone was genuinely sorry with an apology like that :)
     
  25. fairfax

    fairfax Rookie

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    katerina, people are VERY understanding of new teachers, at least around here....... we've all been there.

    As for being "watched"... they do that so they can help.. are you doing it right, do you have the materials you need, etc.

    This is my 3rd year, so I'm at the point where I should really know my stuff and do it... I would get in more "trouble" if I don't do things correctly now.... new teachers DO get off the hook because they honestly don't know better.

    Just learn and know that it gets better with each year!
     
  26. Mizz Lucy

    Mizz Lucy Guest

    Aug 16, 2006

    She's obviously lacking confidence in what she does.
     

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