Venting

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out' started by Maddy 1983, Aug 27, 2008.

  1. Maddy 1983

    Maddy 1983 Rookie

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    Aug 27, 2008

    Okay, so me and my fiance, Derek, have been engaged for two years now. We were supposed to be married last year, but his parents could not make it because they were on vacation. Well, rather than cancel the vacation, they asked us to change the date of our wedding. So it was pushed off. Then we were planning on getting married this year, in May, but I got into a serious car accident and did not want to walk down the isle in the condition I was in; imagine looking at those photos in 10 years!

    Anyways, we moved from our great house in Boston to a NY suburb (nice, but not my "scene"). Anyways, Derek is a financial anaylist. And he has new clients, and naturally dinner parties come with them.

    WELL! Not only did we move here to be closer to his mother that was ill (without much hesitation from me because I'd want to be near my mother as well). But, it was rather bad timing (then again is there every good timing to get ill?). I had just gotten into a new school teaching, he was promoted, and our lives were happy.

    But now with the move, and the new house, I think he's expecting too much of me. 1) Moving is not easy! I'm sure I don't need to explain 2) I left a life behined in Boston but I'm prepared to start a new one with him here in NY 3) I'm starting at a new High School NEXT week, I was only hired LAST week 4) He expects me to re-decorate our house so that it's approperiate for cock tail parties and that type of thing. Although I've explained this before, I think he has the same mentality as many Americans that being a teacher is easy because we get summers off. Well I sure as hell haven't had a summer off since college! This past week I've stayed up late creating lesson plans, worksheets, plans, handouts, etc! And then he has the nerve to tell me that I'm in charge of decorating the house becase "He's TOO BUSY!"
    :mad::eek::eek::eek::eek::mad:

    Sorry about my rant, but I had to get it out of me!
     
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  3. SpecialPreskoo

    SpecialPreskoo Moderator

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    Aug 27, 2008

    Got enough money to hire a decorator? I'd go that route! If he says anything just say "I'm BUSY, too!!"

    I bet the whole thing has been aggrivating and patience trying!!

    I hope you get settled in and things get smoother for you soon!!!
     
  4. MissWull

    MissWull Cohort

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    Aug 27, 2008

    Wow. That does seem like a lot of people, who aren't in the education profession, to assume that teachers have loads of time. Sheesh...you should definitely explain to him that you don't have much free time either and that it'll have to be the two of you decorating in your off time...or hiring someone!
     
  5. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    Aug 27, 2008

    I'll help you with decorating if you help me with some lesson planning and grading. If he agrees and thinks it is easy...sit down with him and seriously include him. See what happens.
     
  6. peggy27

    peggy27 Cohort

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    Wow, you have had quite the year! My husband doesn't think my job is a demanding as his either. I like the hire a decorator idea!
     
  7. Mrs.Mom

    Mrs.Mom Companion

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    His parents wouldn't canel a vacation for their child to get married??? What the?!?!?!?!!? That is crazy!!!!!! I would definetly just hire someone to do it....starting a new job is TONS of work...I'm doing it right now!!
     
  8. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    I don't blame you! You're being thrown too much at once. No one would want that. I love interior decorating, but preparing for a new job is the priority. I don't know how you're going to get your fiance to understand, but I hope you get through to him soon!

    Good luck.
     
  9. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    YIKES!!!!! While you can't just throw out random ire, you two are definitely due for a heart to heart. If you're going to make a life together he needs to figure out that teachers do NOT have tons of time on their hands. I liked the idea of having him "help" you with lesson plans and grading. I also like the idea of nicely telling him that you're extremely busy preparing for the new school year, just has he is very busy settling into his new position. If it can't be the two of you decorating the house for HIS business parties, then he needs to pay for a decorator.

    There are only so many hours in the day and you need to sleep for at least some of them.
     
  10. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Oh, and his parents wouldn't cancel a vacation for their child's wedding?????? Where were they going? A special vacation on the space shuttle? That's just rediculous.
     
  11. Maddy 1983

    Maddy 1983 Rookie

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    I pitched the idea of hiring a decorator and he said "I really don't think that's necessary, you did such a good job [in Boston]." Well of course I did, I worked on our house for three years. I had time, but I've decided if he wants me to decorate, fine. I was thinking of floral in the bathroom... Or perhaps some oriental Japanese furniture?? (He like's traditional furniture or sleek modern, so I think I'll go the opposite!).

    He parent's do not approve of me really. I think it's because he was previously "engaged" (they talked it over, but nothing ever surfaced--he's 29 now). Anyways, they loved her and everything she represented. (It didn't help that I said I wanted to wait until I was at least 32 to have children.)

    He's into math and money, so I threw this equation at him today:

    118 Students X 1 Quiz Every Friday X 4 Fridays = 472 Per Month
    118 Students X (an average) of 3 HW assignments Per week X 4 Weeks = 2, 416
    118 Students X (probably) 1 Unit Exam Per Month = 118

    At least 3,006 papers will need grading per month. Then add it essays, projects, etc!
     
  12. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    :eek: You are my new Queen!
     
  13. Maddy 1983

    Maddy 1983 Rookie

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    I think I'm going to have to try and use scantron machines more this year. I never liked them because they were more of a hassle than I cared to have. But at my new school they're newer and although I few it as impersonal to have a machine grade papers, it will allow me to return the M.C. part of assessments back quicker (although short answer, extended response, etc. will still take me awhile, but that's too be expected and I can't complain).
     
  14. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Aug 27, 2008

    Time to talk and talk a lot, don't retaliate if you do, we will be reading how you broke up.
    You need to help him understand what it takes to be a teacher
    we men are simple folk Use terms we understand
    "if I get help with the house, I wont be so tired (wink wink)"
    also buy Dr Laura's Book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" it is a "how to do" book on how to wrap your man around your little finger
     
  15. Maddy 1983

    Maddy 1983 Rookie

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    Irish Dave, you're post (the one line about wink wink) cracked me up, thanks for making me laugh!

    Yeah it's probably best not to retaliate but I told him I wasn't cooking dinner for the next month or so until I get settled in, so that he should thus get used to delicious frozen dinners (I don't mean it, but I am definitely going to take a break from cooking and cleaning!).

    I'm actually going to Borders on Saturday to get a few books for my class, I'll definitely pick them up, thanks!
     
  16. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    Aug 27, 2008

    There's 4.3 weeks in a month :D And don't forget lesson plans, IEP's, and report cards.

    So, lets use variables and make is a really "mathy" equation.

    Let
    Q=friday quiz
    H=Homework
    U=Unit exam
    L=lesson plans
    R=report cards.
    E=Essay
    J=projects

    As defined above, you will give a quiz every friday, about three homeworks a week, one unit exam a month, maybe one essay every six weeks, and a project every other month. You have to write a lesson plan for every day and in every class (I'll assume you have 3 preps) so that's 15 lesson plans per week, but don't forget you have to rewrite some of them for those IEP students, so, you say you have 118 students, I'll be nice and say that only 10 of them have IEP's that need specialized lesson plans, that's an additional 50 lesson plans per week. So, your equation, where F(x)= number of papers you must grade/create or otherwise contend with, and, where x is the number of weeks in the month is:

    f(x) = (Qx + Ux + Hx + Lx + Rx + Ex +Jx)118
    f(x) = x(Q + U + H + L + R + E + J)118

    Now, we need to convert all of our units to weeks (if they aren't already) and then plug them into our function. So we have:

    f(x) = x( 1 + 0.23 + 3 + 65 + 0.06 + 0.17 + 0.11)118
    f(x) = x( 69.57)118

    Of course, x is defined as the number of weeks in the month, which is 52/12 = 4.3, so plugging that in you get:

    f(x) = 4.3 * 69.57 * 118
    f(x) = 35,299.818

    Or, aproximately 35,300 papers that pass through your hands each month.

    Oh, and then remind him you still have to actually teach, and then there's the staff meetings and parent confrences :D
     
  17. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Did you forget the variables
    B C L N

    Let me put them in correct order
    NCLB
     
  18. Maddy 1983

    Maddy 1983 Rookie

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    mmsm, I copy and pasted your function to print out and show my husband! Hehe, now when I hear students ask "why do we need to learn that in math?" or something of that nature, I can reply with "Because when you're an adult, you might need to prove to your spouse your work load!"

    (Although now I'm starting to realize, "OH CRAP! That's a lot!")
     
  19. Maddy 1983

    Maddy 1983 Rookie

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    LMAO!

    :rofl::rofl::rofl:
     
  20. mmswm

    mmswm Moderator

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    :D

    I am the queen of the math nerds...and I like it that way.
     
  21. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Too bad your fiance has this mindset that numerous other people have who don't have a clue about how demanding the teaching field really is & who believe that as long as someone has summers off, they have it easy. Oh if only people who have loved ones who think that way can take over the class for a week!

    I've got the perfect solution! Tell him you'll go out shopping for cool home decor items (hopefully it's on HIS tab), while he stays home & corrects unteen pieces of HW & tests, creates some new tests in all your subjects, prepares for back to school night, thinks of some strategies for your slow learning students, think of ways to handle some students' uncooperative parents, etc., etc., etc. :D

    If I were you, I'd bring home as much work as possible & MAKE him sit down w/ you & help you get through it all & when it's 11pm & he's nodding off, tell him we're only a quarter of the way through.
     
  22. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Maddy

    Are you out on Long Island?
    I lived there as a kid

    I bet I know why the NY suburb is not your "scene" you are a Red Sox fan and you are in "Yankee" country (Mets fans hate the Yankees too so just find some Mets fans to hang with)
     
  23. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Did you get married between post #1 and #17?

    wow some of these threads really get long
    :lol: :toofunny: :rofl:
     
  24. Maddy 1983

    Maddy 1983 Rookie

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    Ms. I, I think I'm going to do just that....He's a good person, but he's ..... stubborn. I guess that's the nicest term to use.

    Irishdace, I'm actually in Westchester County. But I've been out to Montauk numerous times, and Port Jeff.

    Nice catch, :whistle:
    :p

    I wish I could "legally" say he was my husband! I'm getting tired of waiting (our Wedding is in October---I wanted warm weather, but I'll settle).
     
  25. Ms. I

    Ms. I Maven

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    Yes, try doing that!

    It's really a shame how many people underestimate the demands & stresses of teaching just because of that "summer off". It's one thing to not know zip about someone's career & admit that they don't know, but it's another to not know zip & think it's soooo easy! :mad:
     

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