Discussion in 'Job Seekers' started by giraffe326, May 13, 2013.
Sep 2, 2013
I don't have any advice but hugs and good luck.
Anyone else you could stay with?
My sister's husband and I do not speak, so that is a no. (Long story there- he's violent and I hate their relationship.)
My dad would take me in, but we've never been close. I've went as long as 6-8 months without even speaking to him. My parents divorced when I was 5, and I rarely stayed overnight since then. Not once since I was maybe 12.
All of my friends are married or engaged. It would be weird.
Didn't you say your dad said you could stay with him? Any significant other there? You really need to consider this as it doesn't sound so great at your Mom's. any other family that may help you out?
Do what seems right to you.
I agree with LouiseB, that taking your Dad up on his offer might be better for everyone. It might be nice to connect with him in a more substantial way. Good luck.
I would at least talk with your dad about your current situation, not just the friction with you stepfather. See what you two can talk about as two adults discussing a lousy situation. Perhaps things between you have grown over the years.
My dad has already offered. He has no significant other, nor any pets. (I have a cat and my sister's dogs have already tried to eat her!)
It would really be a last resort.
When I was telling my dad about the LTS, I mentioned that my fear would be that my stepdad would not be OK with me staying for a whole year. First, he told me that my mom will stand up to him (and he is very right). I expressed my concern about straining their relationship, so my dad said I could stay with him. My dad doesn't know there are already issues. Both of my parents have tempers, so there would be no good. My stepdad is way more passive, and not normally this way. He's really stressed at work and bringing it home. I'm not sure why he's stressed at work- he won't say.
My mom tells me to ignore him. They've fought because of him treating me this way. THAT is the part that I hate. Well, that and the double standard. (I get yelled at for doing things that he would never tell his son not to do. It's OK for him to tell me not to do it, and then yell at me when I don't comply. I help around the house way more than his son ever did- I'll cook, vacuum, mow the lawn, etc... I went around and trimmed all the low branches off of the trees when I first got here because he has bad shoulders and can't reach above his head.)
Just venting. Thanks for listening. He's in a better mood now. I've always gotten along really well with him as long as I don't live with him! I moved out a decade ago because we'd fight over things. Then, I was always too messy for him. I've changed a lot and that is no longer the issue. I'm not sure what problem I cause now. I stick to the basement most of the time, so I'm not even around much.
I think that you should consider moving in with your dad. Maybe you can work on building a stronger relationship with him while you're there.
Please remember that you're not responsible for whatever happens in your mom's marriage to your step-dad. Their marriage is their own, and if they choose to fight and be resentful over certain things, that's on them.
Agree with this 100 percent!
I'm so sorry all this is happening to you. All you wanted to do was go home and be near your friends and family. It shouldn't be this hard.
Do you have any old friends you could get an apartment with??
Yes. Exactly this! I'm so sorry for what you're going through. My heart just aches for you. Keep your chin up, and as Caesar said, NEVER believe that you are responsible for the stress in your mom's marriage. I know that's easier said than done, but just know that we're rooting for you!
So basically your dilemma boils down to being happy at home (with the current job that supports an apartment) or being happy at school (with the LTS)?
I know! I wish I had stayed in NC until I could land a PUBLIC school job!
(I know some people love their charters, but around here, charters are not good!)
Basically. Sucks, doesn't it?
When my stepdad had an exceptionally bad day last week (and took it out on me), I was ready to leave. My mom told me that he will go before I do. I'm sure that just makes my stepdad even MORE mad, and I hate that.
I know that I am not the cause of their relationship issues, but I hate that I put the added stress on it. I've told them both many, many times that I don't want to be a burden in anyway- especially financially. And they are to tell me if they see an increase in any bills (water, electricity, gas, food, etc...) and I will find a way to pay them.
As I said, we've dropped the price on my house again. I began asking $129,000 (neighbor with identical floorplan asked $135,000 and sold for $129,000 in three weeks). I'm now asking $120,000. I'll do a deed in lieu of foreclosure in November if it still hasn't sold. I have to sell for $116,000 to pay off my loan and pay the realtors.
Nope. I grew apart from casual friends in my years away, and every good friend is in a relationship and living with their SO. Very few live in the area, anyway. Most of them live closer to Detroit since they all work around there. Jobs in my area are few and far between.
I forgot. I'm working on getting some stuff up for sale on Etsy.
I'm pretty darn good at making wreathes- especially Christmas ones. I did some dry floral design when I worked at the craft store and my stuff always sold really well.
I've also been working on hand making some centerpieces and decorations for my sister's baby shower. Another thing I am good at.
So I'm creating samples to put up on Etsy. Plus I am a Thirty-One consultant. I'm trying to piece together some extra income so I can swing the subbing.
(The LTS decision will be coming soon. They are supposed to be splitting my class very soon, so I have a teacher team-teaching with me starting tomorrow. We'll see how it goes.)
EDITING: I found a picture of a wreath on my phone- not my best, but it sold within 24 hours! (working at the craft store- hoping to be successful on Etsy.)
Gosh giraffe you have so much to think about! I'm glad you have a place to vent. I really really agree with what Caesar said. To me, your dad sounds like a really good option to get some piece of mind.
Sep 3, 2013
That is a beautiful wreath! You are very talented.
I truly wish your luck with your situation. It might be best to move in with your dad. i know you said you aren't close with him but this might be the perfect opportunity to move in and get to know him. I can't imagine working in the environment you do and then going home and having to walk on eggshells! You have got to think of yourself!
Sep 4, 2013
I had a long chat with my mom last night.
I went and paid $60 for my background check to sub.
Stepdad doesn't know yet.
Hope everything works out, giraffe!
Does that mean you are taking the long term sub job? I can't remember how long that LTS was going to last.
LTS will last until Christmas. Starts soon- preggo teacher is due in 3 weeks. I hope to work this week and next at current crappy job. Unsure if I will attempt the week after or not. I will not attempt the week she is due.
Due dates can be plus or minus several weeks.
Yeah. She went 2 weeks early with her first and she worked the day she went into labor. She doesn't expect to go over. I'm not sure if she will work past her due date.
Fun fact: The issue has a lot to do with the inaccuracy way they typically calculate how far along you are (date of your last period). Last baby could have been early while this one is late! The more you know!
Sep 5, 2013
OMG, giraffe--I haven't been on here really with the new baby--but I can't believe how much has changed since I came on here last. I have scanned through the forum, it sounds like you left the charter school and are now taking a LTS position? If so, I'm sooooo sorry that Charter school didn't work out for you
Sorry that you are going through all of these trials. Have you given notice to charter school yet? A baby can come at any time within the last few weeks. All four of my children were born early.
Sep 6, 2013
A teacher at my charter walked out today before lunch. So the other 3rd grade teacher (who was co-teaching this week to get ready for the split) will now be teaching 4th grade. They have posted jobs and are working on hiring. I will have to give my notice earlier than anticipated now. I knew there was a backup, so I wasn't planning on giving notice because I do not think it will be handled well.
I am typing while my kids are all writing me about how it feels when they get in trouble. They've had a terrible day.
I have a student on a DRA level 2. In third. I actually have move than 10 students that are BELOW a 10. I assessed everyone on a 10. I have only finished 4 DRAs so far. I have a 2, 8, 8, and 10.
Wow, a teacher walked out? You have to get out of there ASAP. I hope your notice goes smoothly and they don't give you a hard time. <3 <3
Sounds like at this rate your principal may have to takeover a class
I walked out of a charter halfway through the first day, many years ago. I was hired as a permanent sub was was handed a full class roster on the first morning with no time to prepare. I told the school founder that he needed to either hire me as a full-time teacher or take my roster away. By lunch, after three hours of staring a bunch of students who were supposed to be in a class I wasn't qualified to teach (my "schedule" said 8th grade English, the students were there to learn 12th grade Career Based Instruction), I told him to take the roster and the job and shove it.
I cannot believe that school is still open.
Hmm. That's very low for 3rd grade. I'm curious - are you giving these tests while the other students are in the classroom?
The reason I ask this is because doing so would make it difficult for the student to concentrate on the reading. It would most likely skew the results.
If you are giving these one on one and students are coming out on these levels, I would wonder why they are not already in special ed or being referred for it.
Most charter schools in my area do not accept students that are special ed because they do not have the resources. They have stringent applications, and readily reject any who do not meet their requirements. It looks your school does not operate this way.
Giraffe, do you think with all of the chaos in your school, it would give you a bit of leverage to lobby for better working conditions? If one has walked out, and others are obviously thinking about it, then you have strength in numbers. What are they going to do, fire you all? They are already short.
In Michigan charter schools are public schools. Anyone can enroll. Special education services are provided. The charters I've worked at have provided special ed services, in fact, it is required. Unfortunately, due to our size self-contained rooms are not available. I've seen parents take their child from a special ed self-contained classroom & place them in a charter school for various reasons.
I just read a file today on a child who was going to be retained. The parent pulled them out of the school that they were at last year & brought her to our school and put her in the next year. It happens. A parent will often change a child's school when they are not being successful, whether it is academically or behaviorally.
A child may have an IEP and that has not been brought to anyone's attention. I had a mom who told me that at the previous school the IEP wasn't followed. She wouldn't have told me about the IEP if I hadn't specifically asked her. I had a child last year that was referred for testing. The parents refused to have the child tested or retained. In fact, the parents have put the child in a different school, in the next grade.
Any of these things could have happened.
Sounds like your charter is caving in...Did you have no idea of problems before accepting this job? Truthfully, I'd be wary of any charter....when are you putting in your notice?
Nope. In the library which isn't open yet. I've had a co-teacher for a few days. I've taken advantage of it.
Schools just went back this week, so we do not have records yet. A few involved parents supplied their kids' IEPs. I haven't finished testing any of them yet. My level 2 writes in pure gibberish. According to his mother, he does NOT have an IEP. I've said from day 1 that there is something majorly wrong. He can't even spell his last name!!!! We were asked to submit a list of all the 'potential' problems, but I was told my list was too long and to only list the confirmed IEPs. (The list said POTENTIAL on the top- more idiocy from the people running!!)
They just hired a SPED teacher/coordinator last week. She's already identified about 10 (of our 150) that will need to go elsewhere. She's worked for 5 days now! I'm sure the list will get longer.
It was brand new and I was their first hire. I knew within days that they were disorganized. I expected a rough population given the city it is located in (always ranks on the top 10 most violent cities in the US). However, I did an internship in a public school in the same city in college and I LOVED it. I had no idea the population would be THIS bad. I work with 4 teachers that have taught at other charters in the same city and they say our kids are way worse.
The P says we have all the kids that weren't successful at their old school, so the parents chose to try something new.
I will probably tell them Monday. I wasn't going to tell them until the day I was quitting because there was already an extra teacher on staff. Now, I will have to be a bit more considerate. They have posted jobs and they know they have to hire. Almost every classroom is over the cap.