update on my son's situation-sorry it's long, but I need to get it out

Discussion in 'General Education' started by tiffharmon2001, Aug 28, 2009.

  1. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

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    Aug 28, 2009

    If you didn't read the OP, please start there for the background info.

    http://forums.atozteacherstuff.com/showthread.php?t=94189

    We had an okayish day on Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday was the day from H***! I couldn't get him into his classroom, he screamed and cried for me basically all day long, he got in trouble, the teachers had to hold him so he wouldn't run away...it was sooooooo bad. By breakfast (less than an hour into our day), I had him in my room trying to calm him down and keep him from getting sent home. He did settle a little by the time lunch was over and he took a nap. By the time I got him after school, he was physically sick from crying so much. He had a headache and was just kind of lethargic. I sat and held him and gave him some tylenol for his head ache and he perked up a little. I took him to gymnastics and he did pretty well (extremely well for him) there until the very end when he didn't want to leave.
    We started a behavior chart on Wednesday for him. It's broken down into his schedule so that he can earn a stamp on his chart for coming in nicely, morning meeting, breakfast, recess, etc. There are a total of about 12. His teacher decided that each time he can earn 4 stamps, he can come into my room to give me high five (the psychologist we talked to the other day said a hug was not a good idea because of the closeness causing more separation problems). If he gets 5 in a day, he is allowed to play the computer after school in my room. We haven't set a reward for earning them all, but I'm sure we will make it a pretty big deal, especially the first time. If he earns less than 5, he goes to his room when we get home, then as soon as he eats dinner and has a shower, he goes to bed-no tv, computer, etc.
    So, Wednesday, he earned about 7 or 8. They were questionable on some of them, but the teacher felt it should be positive the first day, so she let him have them. Yesterday, he got two. So, as soon as we got home, he had to go to bed (we had eaten dinner already). It really upset him and I think it made a point.
    Today was better. He got all but one stamp!!! I saw him at breakfast and at lunch and both times, I was able to get out of the cafeteria without him running out after me. In fact, I don't think he even noticed at lunch.
    So, imagine my surprise when I was called into the principal's office this afternoon and it was suggested that I consider moving him to another school or to Head Start. This is only our 7th day of school! Yes, he's had two days that were torture. But, he's had two days that were pretty great too and three days that were soso. Shouldn't we give him some time?
    Then, the next thing I know, I'm being called into the school psychologist's office and she tells me that he was assessed for speech today (which i was aware of and expected him to qualify for) and that she was "pretty sure" that he was going to fall below the 25% delay cut-off. She also informed me that next week, she will give him a develpmental assessment and that she's "pretty sure" he will fall below 25% delay in another category-allowing him to qualify for the "developmentally delayed" class in another building. She just wanted me to be aware of that option. :mad:
    Okay, so I know that my son has some issues. He DOES have a speech delay-not the worst I've ever heard, but it's there-and he does have some behavior issues that need to be addressed. He's very very strong willed. I believe he has ADHD and I am addressing that and trying to get him some medical intervention for it. But, putting him in a developmentally delayed class??? That seems a little harsh to me. Especially when I think of how hard I've had to fight to get kids placed in those classes.
    I'm supposed to be thinking it through this weekend so we can meet and talk about it on Monday after school. Right now, I'm just really upset and angry about this whole situation. First of all, I feel like the biggest problem is that the teacher just really doesn't want to deal with him. When he's had a problem, I've seen him dealing with the assistant teacher, the student teacher, the counselor, the RTC teacher, the custodian, and the assistant principal. Until today, I have not one time seen HIS TEACHER handling the problem. She has constantly passed him off to someone else. Another problem I'm having is time, like I said. It's only been 7 days. I have never gotten a problem student dealt with by administrators in 7 days. Perhaps they feel like they are doing me a "favor" by trying to "help" him so soon. I feel like they are jumping the gun and trying to avoid having to deal with him here. I'm also not very happy that they are so willing to label a child on the 7th day of school. Isn't there a process that has to be followed to get that done? I also don't like the fact that I am the only one who is trying to come up with interventions-I made his behavior chart myself and gave it to the teacher. I am going to try to go in next week and get some pictures of him in his classroom to make him a schedule. The only intervention I have heard from the teacher or the administrators until today is "if he does't get it together, we may have to send him home." (We have sent 4 Prek kids home in the first 7 days of school :eek:hmy:) Tell me how that solves the problem?
    Anyway, my husband and I have already decided that he WILL NOT be going to another school and especially not the developmentally delayed class. I think that the best option for him would be to give him time to adjust, make some modification for him so that he can have some appropriate times and ways to come over and see me, and leave him in his original class.
    I have to meet with the "team" of people on Monday after school, so I'm working on my list of arguments right now. My main problem is that I have a really hard time speaking in front of people and I can't always get out what I want to say. So, I'm hoping that if I write my main arguments down, I will be able to get it out better.

    Does anyone have any idea legally of our rights to have him in this school? It's technically not our home school. We are here on an out-of-district transfer because I teach here. Can they make his go back to his home district this year after his transfer has already been accepted? Can I fight having him labeled "developmentally delayed" after I have consented to the assessments?

    I truly can't believe it has come to this!
     
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  3. gab

    gab Comrade

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    Aug 28, 2009

    I think legally a transfer can be overturned at any time...but I could be wrong. In my district, we have parents resubmit transfer requests every year and some have been denied though they have been in the district previously. That could just be us.

    I don't think they can legally label your son without your consent.

    My principal has tried to move students to a special program in another bldg...but without parent consent it's not happened. I think as far as that, you have the say so but maybe not if you're a transfer.

    I'm so sorry this is taking so much out of everyone involved, especially your son. I do not have any words of wisdom but I hope things turn out well.
     
  4. chicagoturtle

    chicagoturtle Fanatic

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    Many laws vary by state, some are federal.

    You have a right to refuse services for your child, but the school district also has the right to "due process" you and fight for services for your child.

    It is hard to understand the whole situation as an outsider.

    A qualified speech pathologist probably has seen many cases of children who are DD. However, she is NOT a psychologist. Only a Psychologist can put a label on a child.

    I am a SPED teacher in a pre-k. Here, if a kid enters as a "typically developing child" we have to go through school based problem solving/ RTI before we label them unless a parent asks for an evaluation. It seems like you asked for and at least agreed to a speech eval. Did you sign off on paperwork for just a speech eval? The evaluation process can take up to 60 days.

    I would not often "jump to a conclusion" about what class a child should end up in within a week. Though some children I know in my heart just belong in a different setting.

    It seems that part of the difficulty here is that you are dealing with co-workers in the matter. Do you have a right to still go to your "home school" for an evaluation even if he is enrolled in your school, I'm not sure how that works in different districts.

    We have many different models of "developmentally delayed" classes. Pre-K actually has the most programs of any other age in our district. We have children who receive special education itinerant services on a weekly or monthly basis, those in a model like mine where there are typically developing peers and special education students, self-contained special education classes for pre-k and self-contained autism classrooms.

    I will say that Early Intervention as I'm sure you know is the key. I've had many of my students not qualify for services for Kindergarten or first grade after receiving services in our program.

    I think if things continue like this it is going to be an uncomfortable work environment for you. I don't think that is right by any means, but I think that is what might happen.
     
  5. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    In Oregon, nothing can be done unless a parent okays it. May be different in your state. Maybe another school would be more cooperative. My daughter and I fought for years to avoid the label for my grandson. For him the label was ADHD and TAG. Any sort of label seems to pre-determine success and/or failure.
     
  6. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

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  7. chicagoturtle

    chicagoturtle Fanatic

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  8. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

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  9. TeacherC

    TeacherC Connoisseur

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    tiff-I'm sorry you're going through this- it must be tough for you to try and concentrate on your class when you can hear your son crying next door!!
    I do think that day 7 is a little early to call him developmentally delayed- has any other testing been done before this? Maybe they are looking for a good way to get him out of the building to make things easier on you (even though they really won't be).
    And I know that in our district, anyone who is out of district and has been transferred with special permission can be moved back at anytime- we are sending three kids back to their own district today because they have been picked up over 20 minutes late as on-going problem that started last year- and it was only the second day of school!!
    I think you just need to decide what is best for your son and your family- and I think that the decision should be up to you and your husband, not the school!
     
  10. Upsadaisy

    Upsadaisy Moderator

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    Aug 28, 2009

    Who actually did the testing on him?

    Would you consider having him tested privately by a psychologist of your choice? Especially since you have questions about an ADD diagnosis, it might be a good idea.

    I see why you feel that they are rushing through the process of getting him identified. It sure does sound that way from the outside.

    Don't sign anything unless you are sure you agree with it.
     
  11. chicagoturtle

    chicagoturtle Fanatic

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  12. chicagoturtle

    chicagoturtle Fanatic

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    Not sure if this is a state-wide form, but when I googled "Oklahoma Special Education Consent" or something like that, this popped up.
    sde.state.ok.us/Curriculum/SpecEd/pdf/Docs_Forms/.../Form_4.pdf
     
  13. chicagoturtle

    chicagoturtle Fanatic

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    That didn't really work- can't paste the link cause it is PDF- but this is from another link.

    NOTICE TO PARENTS REGARDING CHILD IDENTIFICATION, LOCATION,
    SCREENING & EVALUATION UNDER THE INDIVIDUALS WITH
    DISABILITIES EDUCATION ACT (IDEA)
    This notice is to inform parents of the child identification, location, and evaluation
    activities to be conducted throughout the school year by Lawton Public Schools, in
    collaboration with the Oklahoma State Department of Education, other public agencies,
    and community resources. The District is responsible for conducting child identification
    activities to locate and identify children, 3 through 21 years of age, with established or
    suspected disability conditions who may be in need of special education and related
    services. Personally identifiable information collected and maintained as part of the child
    identification, location, and evaluation process are subject to the requirements of the
    Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA).

    Screening
    Lawton Public Schools implements screening activities and procedures as a means of
    locating and identifying children who may have disabilities. Screening assists the school
    in determining children who may require referrals for comprehensive evaluations.
    Screening activities include: vision, hearing, health, and speech/language screening
    programs available to all children on a schoolwide or classroom basis; districtwide
    testing; and the Oklahoma School Testing Program. Screening may include basic tests
    and activities administered to or procedures available to and used with all children in a
    class, grade, or school. The Oklahoma State Department of Education provides technical
    assistance and training to assist schools in implementation of screening activities under
    State and Federal requirements for IDEA. Other public and private resources may also be
    utilized in cooperative efforts for screening of children who may have disabilities.


    Screening
    Lawton Public Schools implements screening activities and procedures as a means of
    locating and identifying children who may have disabilities. Screening assists the school
    in determining children who may require referrals for comprehensive evaluations.
    Screening activities include: vision, hearing, health, and speech/language screening
    programs available to all children on a schoolwide or classroom basis; districtwide
    testing; and the Oklahoma School Testing Program. Screening may include basic tests
    and activities administered to or procedures available to and used with all children in a
    class, grade, or school. The Oklahoma State Department of Education provides technical
    assistance and training to assist schools in implementation of screening activities under
    State and Federal requirements for IDEA. Other public and private resources may also be
    utilized in cooperative efforts for screening of children who may have disabilities.

    Lawton Public Schools develops and maintains a comprehensive, multidisciplinary
    referral, evaluation, and eligibility process for the identification of children with
    suspected disabilities. Parents and school personnel shall be informed of referral and
    evaluation procedures.
    “Evaluation” means procedures used to determine whether a child has a disability under
    the special education law, IDEA, and the nature and extent of any special education and
    related services that the child needs. Evaluation procedures may include a variety of
    assessment tools, strategies, technically sound instruments, and procedures used in
    accordance with IDEA to determine whether a child qualifies as a child with a disability
    and the educational needs of the child. The term means procedures used selectively with
    an individual child and does not include basic tests administered to or procedures used
    with all children in a school, grade, or class.
    Parent consent is required for an initial evaluation to determine eligibility for special
    education and related services. Parental consent for evaluation shall not be construed as
    consent for initial provision of special education and related services.
    As part of this
    consent, the parent shall be given a description of the evaluation procedures the District
    proposes to use as a basis for determining whether a child has a disability and whether
    special education and related services are needed. Parent consent is not required to
    administer a test or other evaluation (e.g., districtwide assessments) that is administered
    to all children if consent would not be required of all children’s parents.

    Interagency referrals and other public or private resources may be utilized as
    appropriate; however, Lawton Public Schools retains the responsibility for ensuring the
    provision of timely evaluations at no cost to the parents. Interagency or other
    arrangements may be used to accomplish referrals and evaluations by qualified personnel
    employed by other public agencies. Referral procedures shall document review of
    existing data to assist the District, parents, and other qualified professionals in
    determining what evaluation information may be necessary to determine whether the student has a disability which requires special education; the child’s present levels of
    performance and educational needs; and, for an eligible child, whether any modifications
    are needed to participate in the general curriculum and meet IEP goals. Review of data
    should include any efforts and considerations of interventions and services to assist and
    support the child's academic functioning in the regular educational environment or other
    appropriate settings for preschool aged children. These efforts might include: student
    support teams; mainstream assistance teams; consultation and collaboration models; and
    cooperative learning and peer tutoring.
     
  14. chicagoturtle

    chicagoturtle Fanatic

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    I found these just by googling "oklahoma special education "consent for evaluation"

    Not sure if the district above is your district, but I'm sure yours has something similar.
     
  15. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

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    Thank you Chicagoturtle! I really am hoping not to have to fight a big battle over this, but I want to be prepared if I need to.
     
  16. kpa1b2

    kpa1b2 Aficionado

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    I thought the Sped. Ed. laws are federal laws. Do they vary by state?

    Maybe they are fast tracking your child as a professional courtesy. (okay, I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt). Either way, to be "labelled" as DD there must be certain qualifications that the child must meet. Testing can take some time.
     
  17. chicagoturtle

    chicagoturtle Fanatic

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    I think there are some basic laws- but states may interpret them different you know. I've only worked in one state though, I did to my ST in another, IDEA is a public federal law - but my state may do things differently than another state and still be following the law.
     
  18. dcnuck

    dcnuck Companion

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    I work in OK also and I know that the speech path has to have a signed consent from the parents before the child is formally tested for speech
     
  19. shouldbeasleep

    shouldbeasleep Enthusiast

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    Oh, good grief. (That's a comment directed to your "well-meaning" co-workers.) He's simply not ready for a formal separation from you. My son screamed his little head off when I tried to work at a daycare when he was 3. I was in one room, and he was in another, and he didn't like it at all. I didn't want to put him through all that grief, so I pulled him out until he was a bit older. He certainly wasn't "developmentally delayed".

    Put him in your room. He'll calm down and school will become a positive experience for him. He'll enjoy the year, and you'll decide at the end of the year whether he needs another year of Pre-K.

    "Developmentally delayed" is a very strong diagnosis without a medical back-up. Yes, get him some speech classes, but take a couple of breaths and don't let people make snap decisions that won't do any good. He'll scream and cry if he's in another room across campus....probably worse.

    He's 4 years old. Life shouldn't be so tough for the little guy. If your school doesn't want you teaching your child, tell them to find the law that states that you can't.
     
  20. CanukTeacher

    CanukTeacher Comrade

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    I think they are jumping the gun too. I don't think it is a professional courtesy. I think they just want him out of the building. We don't identify kindergarden students because often the diagnosis is wrong for the types of reasons shouldbeasleep mentioned. If it was my kid, I'd seriously consider going back to his home district so I could fight for my child without having to worry about my job.
     
  21. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

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    That was my original suggestion also. My P was okay with it yesterday, but today after he had "bounced it off a few other administrators in the district" he said that he is "not a fan of it" and has to think of the other 19 kids that would be in the class. My son does have some other behavior issues that would not be "fixed" simply by moving him into my room, but they would certainly be lessened if he wasn't already upset before the day even began.

    I wish that I had that option, but logistically, there is no way I could make it work. Our home school is at least 15 miles away. I could possibly put him on the bus to get there, but there is no way I would be able to get there to pick him up. I can't drop him off there because I already have to drop my 6th grader at the middle school before 8:00am and it's about 10 miles in the other direction-she can't ride the bus because we are out of district. My husband goes to work at 5:30am, so he is out of the picture as far as getting kids to school in the morning.

    I'm really torn in the situation. This is only my second year in the building and third year in this district. I have had a GREAT relationship with my P until this year and my daughter had this same teacher for PreK last year and had a wonderful year.
    People kept telling me today that if we removed me as a factor, we could work on his other issues better. I agree, but the way that we each want to remove me as a factor is very different. I just don't know how far to push things.

    I'm starting to better understand some of those parents who don't really trust that the schools are trying to do what's best for their kids. It really feels like they are just trying to take the easy way out. Slap a label on him and toss him into special ed (I love special ed teachers, by the way, I'm not trying to disrespect them in any way-there are kids who truly need special situations) whether that's the right place for him or not.
     
  22. RainStorm

    RainStorm Phenom

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    They absolutely can. Out-of-district transfers are always predicated on excellent behavior. In our district, transfers can and are overturned when behavior is disruptive, and very little notice has to be given. In these situations, the school absolutely has the right to insist that a child be returned to his/her home school.

    I know this is tough for you -- but it does sound like your school is trying to give you as many options as possible. I know it is hard to hear some of what they are saying because this is your precious child -- but I don't think making options available to you is a negative thing.

    Personally, I've been in the situation your son's teacher is in -- and it is not a good position to be in. Your son is not her only student, and his behavior is demanding a great deal of her time, her assistant's time, etc. and no matter what she does, it is being deemed as "not enough." This has be making things incredibly difficult in her classroom. She is in a no-win situation.

    I know that isn't what you want to hear. I can imagine how difficult this is for you. Perhaps you could go back to administration on Monday and say that the behavior chart seems to be working, and that you'd like another week to see if it continues. See if they would consider it. If they have already made up their mind that the out-of-district is going to be revoked, you'll find out when you ask for another week.

    I'll be keeping you and your son in my thoughts and prayers.
     
  23. greengables

    greengables Rookie

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    What a tough situation. Just a couple of thoughts. First, when I worked in sp. ed. we had to get parent signatures before we could do ANYTHING: evaluations, IEPs, and any changes to IEPS.

    Second thought: if the situation is as chaotic as you say, the school is going to be hearing from other parents soon from BOTH these classrooms. They will be wondering how their children are learning in your son's class while the teachers have to deal with him and in yours while you are taking time to calm him down when he is sent to yours. Even when he's not in your room, it's pretty obvious that you are (understandably) distracted and stressed out. I'm afraid that factor may come into play with the school's decision.

    :sorry:
     
  24. Tasha

    Tasha Phenom

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    Yes, I work in an open-enrollment school that is high demand and they send major behavior problems back to their home schools all the time, including students of teachers. I don't think having him in your class would be a good idea either, he would learn that screaming and bad behavior gets him what he wants. I honestly think that taking him out of your school might actually be good for him. He would know that no matter what he wouldn't get to see you in the day and you could come into the situation completely as a parent and not also as an employee/co-worker. In a perfect world with no money factors, I would seek out a private school that had a strong teacher who was willing to work with your son (ahead of the situation). Also, with the speech paperwork from your school's LSSP, maybe he would qualify for PPCD, I know you don't want him labeled, but PPCD has a mix of kids with different abilities and some of the kids are typical peers so he would actually just be in a really diverse class. I love getting the kids from PPCD who have been labeled as speech because the program is really great at preparing them from school while being DAP and almost half of my kids with speech issues exit the speech program during kindergarten. Also, I honestly think your principal is preparing you for sending your son back to his home school and is not going to be open to leaving him where he is. I hope that whatever happens, he ends up having a great year after all and this becomes a funny story you tell his dates in high school.
     
  25. TiffanyL

    TiffanyL Cohort

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    Hey Tiff,

    This is obviously a difficult time. If your son is on an intra or inter-district transfer, the school can certainly choose to not keep him. I have had my young daughter at school with me for several years now and I agree that it is great having your child with you.

    My sister, however, has a son with ADHD. He has extreme behavior problems and health problems. She is a teacher and has struggled with admin and other teachers at her site through the year due to him constantly having behavior problems. You cannot underestimate the amount of stress this has caused my sister. If she had to do it again, she says she would have put him at another school. He is a 5th grader now and she teaches with constant stress because she knows that her principal could walk in at any moment to let her know that he once again found himself in trouble.

    She has often said that if he attended another school, she would have been more able to accept him for his strengths and not constantly be reminded of his weaknesses. It is painful to go to lunch only to see him at recess, sitting on a time-out once again under a tree. She has found herself to constantly be criticizing him because she sees (or hears about) every little thing he does at school. By the way, he also seems developmentally delayed but has never been formally tested.

    Weigh all of the pros and cons. You need to be able to focus on your job, love your child for who he is, and not have this constant stress in your lives. Children are not perfect. They make mistakes, they do crazy things while they are growing and developing. Will it be ideal for you to deal with his mistakes while you are also trying to make a name for yourself in your career?
     
  26. swansong1

    swansong1 Virtuoso

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    I began reading this post thinking that the teacher was just tossing him out with the bathwater. But, the more I think about it, she is trying to teach the rest of the children and the others are helping out by trying to control your child. What he really needs is a teacher who will be able to bring out the best in your son while simultaneously bringing out the best in the other children. That will be next to impossible in a class as large as the ones you have. He may or may not be DD, he may be ADHD or speech impaired, but, he is experiencing difficulties adjusting to school. A smaller class taught by a SPED teacher would help him learn coping skills in a non threatening, caring environment. I'm not sure your school is the best fit. I also wouldn't worry about a label because that label will allow him to receive the services he needs. As he matures and you rewrite his IEP each year, the labels will drop off until he is ready to be completely mainstreamed (that may be in K or it may be later). I tell all my parents that our ultimate goal is to get their child completely out of SPED, but, until that happens, I want to be able to avail myself of every possible service that my district has. Good luck with your decision. And please don't immediately shy away from SPED because of what it used to be. Special Education has greatly changed (for the positive) over the last couple of decades. I'm speaking to you as both a parent of special needs children and as a long time teacher of those same marvelous children.
     
  27. krysmorgsu

    krysmorgsu Cohort

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    Aug 29, 2009

    I hate to say it, but I think trying to move him to another school may be the best choice. If he knows that you are not nearby, then some of his behavioral issues sound like they will stop. As others have pointed out, it's not just the problems he's causing in the other classroom, but what's going on with you. Some things to consider: is he taking away from your time or focus on your own students? How is that fair to them? Also, I think you mentioned that this is your 2nd year -- which I assume means that you are not tenured. That means the school can choose not to renew your contract next year for any reason - do you really want to risk your job? I understand your concern for your child, but it sounds like there are a lot of things going on with this, and many seem to be a result of his problems with separation from you. In seems to me that, in your son's case, being near to you is causing a lot of trauma to both of you. He acts up, in ways he couldn't if you weren't nearby, and as a result, he's causing you stress in your job and with your coworkers. It just might be best to either keep him home another year or move him to another school - whether within or out-of your district. Do you have a relative or neighbor who could perhaps help you out with getting him to/from school if you moved him to your home district? Or does your home district have any sort of after school program? I agree that they seem to be jumping the ball with labeling him, but I do think that the admin is not going to let everything stay as it is.
     
  28. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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  29. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    This was such a positive and well-thought-out post. :)
     
  30. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    Ok, I also teach in a school where my kids attend. I have not had any issues with it (and I have, as a matter of fact, had my own kids in my class with no issues). However, my principal has made it very clear that should ANY issues arise, the kids are out of there, both to protect their teacher and to protect me. It has to be hard for you every day, and it also has to be difficult in your relationship with your teammate. Clearly, her behavior has already disturbed you - can you imagine how this is going to be, long-term, as far as your career goes?

    And, another side of the coin...if this kid has behavior that isn't controlled, the principal REALLY doesn't want the other parents to think that he's getting off easy because he's your son. And you don't want that, either, because it will cause for some bad blood between you and parents in the community....and other staff members.

    You are clearly a loving mom who wants the best for your kids. I applaud you for that. But that also makes me question whether having your own child in your class is the best situation for you, if it comes to that. If your son needs you so much, I'd wonder how the other 19 kids would get their needs met. I simply can't imagine what it would be like for me to try not to respond to my child emotionally, if I was helping another child, and he was really upset. And what about him? He should know that when his mom is there, she's ALWAYS going to be available to him. That may not be the case if he's in your class sharing you with 19 other kids. And, to an outside eye (and perhaps to your administration) it seems as if you are not willing to accept some of your son's problems. That would be a red flag to an administrator about placing him in your class. I'm not being critical, because, clearly, I'm not there and dont' know the whole situation....I'm just trying to explain to you what they may see.

    I remember you posting a while ago about whether you should have your son in your class or the other teacher's class....sorry it hasn't worked out so well.
     
  31. chicagoturtle

    chicagoturtle Fanatic

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  32. greengables

    greengables Rookie

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    Aug 30, 2009

    In my state, you can consent any way you want (email, verbal, morse code) to have your child evaluated BUT until you actually sign a form the school cannot give a diagnostic test.

    People consent to things all the time: I want that car, house, spouse, but until the paperwork is signed nothing can get done!
     
  33. bros

    bros Phenom

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    Signatures are key in sped documents, but remember, you can always retract consent on any document you sign whenever you want
     
  34. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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  35. chemteach55

    chemteach55 Connoisseur

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    I do not want to sound harsh but if he is having separation issues that are that severe, then he might be better off in another school. If I had a child in your class or the other class, then I would be on the principal to have him moved. You have a job and are paid to take care of the 19 students in your class all day, not just your son. If you are constantly attending to him, who is attending to your class. Maybe you need to stay home with him a few more years until he has the maturity to attend school if you do not want him having a sped designation. From what you have said, he lacks the maturity to be where he is right now. Just my :2cents: as a mom and teacher.
     
  36. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

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    Okay, I just have to clarify that I am NOT taking any time away from my own students to "take care of" my son at school. I drop him into his class and hand him off to his teacher and then go into my room. Then, I pretty much ignore (on the outside anyway) everything I hear and see of him. The only times that I have taken him from the teacher to deal with him have been when my class is gone from me (specials, recess, during my lunch) and only then because I felt like the teacher wanted me to intervene. The only parent who has noticed or had a problem with it is the AP because her daughter is in the class (and she happens to be around ALL the time). The parents in both rooms who have witnessed him being upset at the beginning of the day have been nothing but supportive-they understand how it would feel to have to do that.

    I have been thinking of some modifications to his behavior plan this weekend. My principal suggested on Friday that rather than a hug or high five, having him come in and hand me something-a token or a note. Then collecting those things over time and when he reaches a certain amount, he gets some sort of reward-maybe eating lunch with me.
    His goal right now is to get four stamps, then he comes to give me a high five. I think we will change it so that when he gets 4 stamps he can come over and put a coin in the treasure chest. Then, when he gets x number of coins (like 6), he can bring his mat over and have rest time in my room. I'm afraid that the lunch thing will just set him up to get upset when he has to go back to class. But naps are at the very end of the day. So, once he came in for a nap, he could just stay. He has 16 opportunities a day, right now, to earn a stamp. So, at the very least, it would take him 1 1/2 days to earn his naptime in my room. I think that it's best not to have him be able to earn it everyday or we would set ourselves up for disaster if the day ever came when he couldn't.
    Eventually, we will increase how long he has to go between stamps. That would also increase the length of time between naps in my room until hopefully he won't need that anymore.
    Also, I'm thinking that at first, I'll keep the treasure box near where I am, then move it closer to my door and eventually into his room as he gets the hang of this.

    Any other ideas?
     
  37. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    I would not allow any of the rewards to allow him access into your room. I would keep the access to the "neutral" spots.
     
  38. shouldbeasleep

    shouldbeasleep Enthusiast

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    Sounds to me like you and the other teacher are working on the problem of his having separation anxiety in a kind way. I just can't imagine sending him to another school when he is so troubled already.

    Just my two cents. I hope it all works out this year. Eventually it all will work out, but the sooner the better, right?
     
  39. Jem

    Jem Aficionado

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    Aug 31, 2009

    I hope this all works out! My first thought on the coin solution-would a child his age need a concrete reward? By constantly putting off the reward, and simply collecting points or coins or stamps towards it, is he actually seeing the reward? Maybe the coin is enough. But for me, I'd need that high five right away, or I'd loose interest... Immediate gratification is the name of my game. ;) I'm no early education expert, though.
     
  40. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

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    Aug 31, 2009

    Thanks for all the input. I was talking to his teacher this morning and her opinion is that he just needs more time. I am going to do my best to not give him attention (positive or negative) at school unless it is a time when he has permission to come see me (like for his high fives). We have a "staffing" for him this pm, so we'll see how that goes.
     
  41. mrachelle87

    mrachelle87 Fanatic

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    Remember to be calm and as the parent you are in charge. Don't let them make you feel guilty for wanting the best for your child.
     

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