update on my son....grrrr...

Discussion in 'General Education' started by tiffharmon2001, Sep 14, 2009.

  1. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

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    Sep 14, 2009

    Things with my son were going slightly better for most of the last week or so. He was getting most of the stamps on his behavior plan and was able to make the transitions to specials, lunch, etc without much problem. He had his moments, but overall was pretty good.
    Then came Wednesday. He started his day off in a mood and continued until he finally got sent home. He hit, kicked, spit on (he's NEVER done that before, no matter how angry), screamed at, and ran from his teacher, her assistant, and the principal. I tried to go in and calm him down, but it wasn't doing any good. Dad finally came and got him around lunch time.

    So, I decided I had enough of jumping through the hoops and waiting on the "system" to get him some help. I made him a doctor's appointment for Thursday afternoon.

    Thankfully, he showed his true colors at the doctor's office. She and I couldn't even finish a sentence because he was all over the place-on the table, off the table, in my lap, standing in my lap, standing in the chair, back on the table, playing with his toy, throwing it down and getting a book, etc...all through the appointment.

    She said that she thought he's still young to be trying meds, but it seemed like a crisis situation with him being sent home from school and being so out of control. She said she would be willing to do a trial run of meds.

    She put him on 5mg atterol in the morning and half a dose at noon. I took him home and gave him to half dose after our appointment. By that evening, he was able to go to gymnastics and stay for the entire class without much problem (he's still stubborn, but he was able to follow directions and wait his turn, etc).
    At school on Friday, he had a WONDERFUL day! His teacher even came over in the middle of the morning to tell me it was like magic. That is, until he came over to get his dose at noon(yes, meds are now in the office to avoid this problem). When he came over, he was fine, but while he was here, he picked up a binder clip that was on my desk and pinched his finger with it. That set him off. He wouldn't go back to class until the teacher came over and dragged him in. He ended up pulling her hair and screaming with the assistant principal for 20 minutes before they came to get me.
    I spent another 40 minutes in the bathroom of his classroom calming him down. Finally, he was ready to be with the class.
    It was grandparents' day, so my MIL was here to eat with my kids. When I came in, I could tell he was about to have a melt down, so I went over and sat with them for lunch. He had another smaller meltdown when grandma left but not too bad
    Saturday went great! I could tell that the meds were working because he was able to have a coherent conversation and stay focused on the topic. He talked ALL DAY LONG, which is unsual for him.
    Sunday was not so good. He was not able to go to church because he was having a meltdown. Finally, around 12:30, he was able to pull it together and had a really great day after that.
    Today was a disaster. He had meltdown after meltdown. The only positive thing was that he wasn't being so violent today, just screaming and sobbing.
    I never expected the meds to be a "magic bullet" to solve the problem. I know that it's going to still take a lot of work on everyone's part, but I'm just at a loss. How long should it take before we see a difference in his behavior? Are the meds not working or could the dose be wrong?
    I just don't really know what to do with him. Suggestions are welcome (this is really painful for me, so please keep it nice).
     
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  3. Hoot Owl

    Hoot Owl Aficionado

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    tiffharmon, I have no suggestions but will offer a hug.
     
  4. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    It is possible that the dosage is not the right one for your son. I have had students in the past go through trials for meds. They have usually been three weeks in length--one week placebo and one week each of 2 doses of meds. As the teacher, I have been asked to record observations. Even after the trial, some students have had to continue to try varied dosages until the "right" one was found. Right now, it seems as though things are definitely not getting better. I would call your doctor tomorrow and let him know what you are observing.
     
  5. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

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    Thanks! It's so frustrating! Being on the parent side sure gives me a different perspective! I hope I never made a parent feel the way I am feeling now (especially one who was desperately trying to find a way to make things better). Sometimes, it's not just that the parents don't care or don't discipline their child. Sometimes, the parents just don't have a clue what else to do.
     
  6. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

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    Thanks MRSC. I was thinking that I probably should do that.
     
  7. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Also have you looked into Omega 3 vitamins? there is research out there how it helps children settle down better than some medications. Also, have you looked at changing his diet?
     
  8. KateL

    KateL Habitué

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    Your son should probably also be getting some counseling, either through the school or privately. As far as I know, meds are usually accompanied by counseling, since the meds won't change behavior patterns all by themselves - they'll just make behavior changes more possible.
     
  9. Blue

    Blue Aficionado

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    I feel your pain. My grandson has similar issues. He is on medication that helps anxiety. He still has meltdowns, and his mom and I just had a terrible week of lying and running away. He even called 911 when he got a spanking.

    You don't have to face this alone, find a counselor. My GS is in counseling, and it helps.
     
  10. Canadian Gal

    Canadian Gal Habitué

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    I agree with JaimeMarie - I have ADHSD, and meds are pretty much ineffective for me. I don't eat bleached flours or red food dyes and that really helps me. A behaviour modification plan can also help. Kids his age my also have a hard time with recognizing patterns and dealing with transitions. There are reinforcement techniques that can really help.

    I could recite the rules off by heart at 5, but I couldn't put the rules together with my inappropriate behaviours. My Mom was great - she was would tell me "Canadian Gal you need to do ____________, if you do not, _______________ will happen."

    It was likely annoying because she had to repeat herself so often, but it really helped me absorb the idea of cause and effect relationships. There are other external stimulus that can really help kids focus.
     
  11. futureteach21

    futureteach21 Habitué

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    I forget how old your son is, and if this has ever been an option... But can you put in a smaller, more individualized program? Or take him out completely for a while?
     
  12. Proud2BATeacher

    Proud2BATeacher Phenom

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    I have a student with autism in my class with severe behaviors whose mother took him off of his meds over the summer and put him on B4 vitamins and Omega 3 (he takes another vitamin too but I can't remember what it is). His behavior is exactly the same (and maybe a little better) as compared to when he was on his meds.
     
  13. holliday

    holliday Comrade

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    Sep 15, 2009

    I don't have any useful advice, either, but just some positive thoughts directed your way. This sounds so stressful! Your son is lucky to have a mom who is working soooo hard on his behalf.
     
  14. bros

    bros Phenom

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    I'll PM you the link to a forum where you can find a wealth of information.
     
  15. kimrandy1

    kimrandy1 Enthusiast

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    My daughter is on meds for ADD (she doesn't have the H part). It was a long trial and error process to find the right drug/dose for her. Metadate extended release has been the most helpful. We went through two other drugs, and different varieties of those drugs (time-release, not time release, a 10 mg in the AM and a 5 mg in the PM, etc, etc. etc.) to find the right one for her.

    I really think a developmental pysch consult may be the route for you. Not because I think your ds has pyschological problems, but because they are experts in this field, esp. ADHD. Leave the school out of it and get a private, second opinion. Even if insurance doesn't cover it, it will be well worth it.

    I also want to say that I don't know how you got 40 minutes to go and calm him down. Do you have that long a lunch break? Or is your principal just really, really understanding? Because I know that if I had to take that large a chunk of time away from my classes to deal with my own child, my principal would not let me have my kids at my school any more. Not that I'm critical, because I think it's great that you're there and able to do this for your son....but I know my school does not work that way.
     
  16. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

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    I don't actually have a long lunch at all (I'm lucky to get 15 minutes). The saving grace for me this year is that I have a really AWESOME assistant in my classroom who can carry on totally as if I am there. No, my P is not happy about it. We are trying to work out a plan so that it doesn't get to that point.

    Our doctor is going to refer him to a clinic in another town for "more extensive testing" so hopefully, we can figure something out after we go there.

    We were supposed to try these meds for two weeks and then go back in to the doctor for a check up, but I went ahead and made the appointment for this Thursday instead because this just can't go on. This time, I'm taking dad with me. That way, maybe one of us can talk to her while the other holds on to him.
     
  17. bros

    bros Phenom

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    You may want to try to find a neuropsychologist
     
  18. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

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    I believe that is what the referral is for.

    He had to be picked up from school again today after a giant meltdown like we've never seen before. Dad has decided to keep him home the next two days and discontinue the meds until we meet with the pediatrician on Thursday.
     
  19. futureteach21

    futureteach21 Habitué

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    Tiff- I am so sorry. I'm keeping your family in my prayers.
     
  20. JaimeMarie

    JaimeMarie Moderator

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    Good luck Tiff. We all understand how you are feeling. Just remember you and the doctors will figure out what to do to make your son's school career successful.
     
  21. bros

    bros Phenom

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    Good. Hopefully it is with a competant one, since a comprehensive evaluation is useful
     
  22. DHE

    DHE Connoisseur

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    Oh darling my heart is aching for you. Our K teacher has just gotten a student with many of the same behaviors that you described about your son and she is having a difficult time dealing with him. I am sure as the parent and a teacher, this is an emotional roller coaster for you. I don't have much advice, just wanted to send my love to you.
     
  23. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

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    Thank you DHE! Sometimes it just helps to know someone is thinking of us.:thanks:
     
  24. Irishdave

    Irishdave Enthusiast

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    Both My son and myself have ADD...

    My son ADHD and myself ADD-RT My son took himself off Meds when he went into the Navy, I was using Adderall, I have taught for 34 years and I was paid as an observer for documenting ADD/ADHD in students in a classroom for Doctors.
    In my experience the meds need to be adjusted at first to get the right dose

    With my son in first grade, when he was diagnosed, his teacher said it was like he was at a track meet. When the gun went off he was still in the locker room tying his shoes..... by the end of the year he was a "medalist"!

    There is a light at the end of the tunnel ... and it is not a train coming at you!
     
  25. Kindergarten31

    Kindergarten31 Cohort

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    Has he always shown these behaviors or is this something new since he began school? I have also had children who kept trying different meds on different schedules and it does take time, which makes it difficult. I wish you the best of luck.
     
  26. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Wow. You hang in there - you are being a wonderful advocate for your son. PLEASE take care of yourself also - can you get a little break from your son every few days so you can recoup?

    I can only say I totally agree to get him on strictly healthful diet. No sugar or white flour, lots of protein and veggies and fruits. No juices - too much sugar. Lots of water. Try avoiding anything with preservatives. I would also get him tested for allergies. And I absolutely think the neuropsychologist is the way to go, from what I know of them.

    God bless you. I think this will get some resolution. I have been dealing with a physical issue for about 3 years, and the key has been that I just did not give up until I found the person who knew how to help me. We are all pulling for you!

    Yes,, and how old is your son?
     
  27. TeacherSandra

    TeacherSandra Enthusiast

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    Could you please share that forum? You're welcome to send me a PM.
    Thanks.
     
  28. tiffharmon2001

    tiffharmon2001 Comrade

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    We are going to see his pediatrician tomorrow morning again. We were supposed to wait two weeks, but I can't see letting him keep getting worse and worse for another two weeks. She is planning to refer him to a "developmental pediactric" clinic. I will find out tomorrow what that entails, but she says that they are the experts in kids who have behavior issues and will be able to get us going in the right direction.

    Pray for us tomorrow please.
     
  29. MrsC

    MrsC Multitudinous

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    I'll be thinking of you this morning, tiffharmon2001!
     
  30. futureteach21

    futureteach21 Habitué

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    I'm praying for you! Let us know what happens.
     

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