Unconditional Love/What is it?

Discussion in 'Teacher Time Out Archives' started by Grammy Teacher, Mar 24, 2007.

  1. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Mar 24, 2007

    I thought this might be an interesting topic. What comes to mind is the love of animals. Our pets for example, give us so much comfort and affection and expect nothing in return. They are all forgiving and are at our mercy to take care of them.
     
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  3. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    I can identify with that. We have a Golden Retriever and he has more social grace than a lot of people I know. He seems to instinctively know exactly what to do and when. We've had him for 9 years and I swear he gets more affectionate every day and to look into his eyes is the ultimate feeling of serenity.

    It also amazes me how easily kids can do this. Kids always seem so ready to forgive and forget no matter how serious the situation, whether it be a schoolyard tiff or major abuse by someone they are supposed to be able to trust. We seem to lose this as we get older and become more ready to hold on to wrongs done to us. If we could only hold on to that innocence which is such a wonderful quality.
     
  4. cutNglue

    cutNglue Magnifico

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    This brings up an interesting memory. My dad didn't have much to do with the rest of his 4 kids, but because he raised me he had a strong bond with me. I found out there was more to that story later, but while I was growing up that was my perspective. He also used to say, "My way or the highway," when when I was a teenager which simply meant "my house, my rules." One day I overheard him talking to his father which he has not gotten along with in forever and the subject of unconditional love came up. I think he said he didn't believe in it. It bothered me for quite some time. He never knew I heard it. Years later when I talked to him about that memory, he was flabbergasted and told me he would love me forever. He said there are three women in his life that he has unconditional love for: me, his mom and his sister. I don't think I believed him until I tested him. When I got married despite his objections, he stood by me. When I was terrified to admit I was ready to have a baby right after getting married, he disagreed but stood by me. Slowly I started to realize my dad wasn't going to forsake me and he did love me unconditionally. Don't misunderstand. I never once doubted he loved me. I just worried that if I was bad enough, he might not forgive me. That was deep and he never intentionally meant for that to happen. I know now without a doubt that I don't have to worry. My dad obviously stands beside me, is proud of me, and loves me. Of course nowadays I'm a person in my own right anyways.
     
  5. TeacherShelly

    TeacherShelly Aficionado

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    Mar 25, 2007

    Lovely stories, everyone. CnG, your dad story is full of deep emotion.

    My unconditional love definition is more of a feeling. My two daughters are loved unconditionally. There is nothing, nothing they could ever say, do, think, or wish that would make me stop loving them. It's impossibly deep, this feeling, and it brings tears to my eyes when it vibrates most strongly.

    I wonder if my parents ever felt this for me? Everyone does the best they can - and my parents did their very best, given the rotton preparation they received, the atrocious abuses they suffered, and the utter lack of support they had while parenting me. But I still don't know if they ever felt unconditional love for me. I know the acceptance and willingness to be with me was conditional - and at the times I was least accepted I believed they'd stopped loving me - but now as a parent, I wonder. Is this a universal feeling all parents have? Or not.

    My daughters can easily push my buttons (no one is better!) and sometimes I just need to find their "pause" or "off" buttons (they don't have them!). But I can get that unconditional love feeling anytime I want, just by thinking of them as babies and imagining them as grown women. Gets me every time.
     
  6. Grammy Teacher

    Grammy Teacher Virtuoso

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    Raising my children taught me another aspect of unconditional love.While many parents were tearing their hair out and trying to make their children into miniature copies of them, I was busy accepting them as their own persons and loving them beyond what is probably believable to some. When our youngest told his friends that I "never" bitched(sorry,) they didn't believe it and had to hang out at our house for a while to find out it was true.
     
  7. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    This makes me think of my own house. When I was growing up, my mother always yelled at me and accused me of doing wrongs I didn't do or before they would happen (if at all, especially when I was a teenager). This stayed with me and hurt me deeply and to this day, even when I'm not doing anything wrong, I am obsessed that someone, somewhere thinks that I am. It's something I just can't shake, although I'm the most honest, and genuine person anyone could meet. In short, my mother taught me how to be a good parent by showing me all of the things I did not want to be with my own kids. By contrast, I spent a little more than half my childhood living with my grandparents and my grandmother was the most gentle, caring and giving person on the face of the earth. SHE loved me unconditionally and I always felt it. Once, when I was feeling a little impatient with my then two year old, my grandmother said: "You should never be harsh with little kids. Always be calm and patient." It was a small statement that stayed with me. I have made it a point to be just that, not only with my own kids, but with anyone I deal with. I don't get angry (I may sometimes ACT a little angry for effect), I deal with problems as methodically as I can and I don't waste energy on anger. I also don't yell at my kids, or anyone for that matter. One of my kids' friends commented a while back that I never yell and another friend told my daughter that her life is as close to a fairytale as you can get (because there is no fighting in our house). That makes me feel good and I owe it to my mother who taught me what not to do and my grandmother who taught me what to do, and because of those early experiences of mine, I think my kids do feel unconditional love in our house. By the way, I do get along with my mother now, but there isn't that strong mother daughter bond that I feel there should be--however, I do have that with my daughter (and son).
     
  8. runsw/scissors

    runsw/scissors Phenom

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    Mar 27, 2007

    A line I heard once in a movie comes to mind:

    "We can love completely without complete understanding."

    -A River Runs Through It
     
  9. Major

    Major Connoisseur

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    Mar 27, 2007

    Take good care of your 9 year old puppy :love: :love: :love: ... I have a 13 year old female Black Lab, who's been my constant campanion all these years.

    Major :)
     
  10. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    That is a good one, so easy to forget...
     
  11. CanadianTeacher

    CanadianTeacher Groupie

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    For sure...he's a huge part of our family and it will be very painful when we have to say goodbye...although it doesn't look like that will be anytime soon..
     
  12. hanvan

    hanvan Connoisseur

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    Mar 27, 2007

    I think its looking into my babies sweet little face. Theres NOTHING I wouldn't do for her. I sometimes get blown away by the feeling of love I have for her.
     
  13. bonneb

    bonneb Fanatic

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    Apr 2, 2007

    Unconditional love - yes, I think the closest we get to it is our love for our children. We would do anything for them, die for them, kill anyone who harmed them (or at least want to kill them). There is no scenario I can imagine that could change my love for my child. I have to say, that's why God's love is so inconceivable to us - he loved his son, but gave him up because of his love for us! I couldn't do that.

    Good question for discussion! I just love this board!
     

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